Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Stick to training related posts.

Moderators: Dux, seeahill

User avatar
WildGorillaMan
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9951
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by WildGorillaMan » Thu Nov 05, 2015 5:44 pm

Tales of The Sauna House, by The Wag
Tales from the Sauna House, part 1

The kid walked up to the old storefront. It was beaten, weathered concrete, slightly decayed, like you would see in any rundown area in the South. There was a small sign that said "The Sauna House. Free Weights and Free Love. An Alternative Gymnasium.". The young man took a deep breath and went inside.

"Hello!" the skinny little fellow shouted out, as he entered the gym. The rest of the sweatsuit clad clientele turned to check him out. He was a skinny man, a kid, actually, and was wearing leather boots, leather jeans, and a little vest made of the finest cow leather. All black, the deepest black, kind of what you see looking into an asshole at midnight. His hair was slicked back in a pompadour, to rival that of the Literary Lifter's.

"Hey kid!" growled another patron, "You can't wear that leather stuff in here, this isn't that kind of place. We are just a group of guy who like other guys here, we aren't into the S&M fist fucking shit!" The kid just stared and the tremendous men, training hard in their grungy sweats. "We might be pumpers, but we're not toners!" The rest of the trainees roared in laughter. The kid looked at his size 9 knee high laced up black leather boots.

The manager came out, he was a big man, probably 6'2" and 250 lbs of pure muscle, ok, maybe a small bit of paunch. "Boy, you're new here. Let me talk to you and show you around."

"Kid, my name is Paul. I am the manager here. Now, you don't look like you belong here. What's going on?"

At this question, the kid broke down, and started sniveling. "You see, sir, all the other leathermen laugh at me because I am puny. I am never picked for fun and games, even when I am in the bath houses. The other guys are burly men, with biceps and glutes like bowling balls...and I am just this!" The poor skinny fellow lifted up his arms, which resembled those of a typical RT trainee, kind of skinny and flabby at the same time, obviously with no strength or muscle at all. He had a small little gut to go with his stooped shoulders and his thin, thin legs. The manager looked on him, and a curious look of pity came into his eyes. "Hush son, c'mere." He took the young man into his arms and gave him a hug. "Now, we'll set you up right, eh? You want to get bigger and gain some weight, you have come to the right place, and you don't have to worry about discrimination, because we are all gay men here."

The kid looked up and sniffed "Really, you'll help me out."

"Sure," said the gym manager, "But you have to do exactly what we tell you to."

"Well," the kid replied, "That's never been a problem before."

"I think you'll do fine. Let me introduce you around."

Part II.

We left our young hero in the clutches (quite literally) of Paul. He had just entered the infamous Sauna House Gym and is about to embark upon his initiation into the dark rituals of that ill-favored place.

"C'mon over here, let me introduce you to someone," Paul said, taking the young man by his puny, insignificant shoulder and guiding him over to a monstrosity of a power rack. There was a large fellow there, his dirty gray sweatshirt was hooded, and it was pulled up. The young man noticed some stains about the glute and groin area. "This here is Poopie." says Paul. Poopie turned around to look at the young kid. His eyes were like two blue ice cubes in a savagely handsome face, which looked planed from granite.
"Uh...how do you do Poopie?" said the kid.

"Who the fuck is this skinny little queer?" said Poopie. There was no animosity in his gravely voice, only curiousity, and some resentment at being interupted.

"Uh...I'm Bryan." said the kid.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing in that get up?...for God's sake, this isn't New Orleans and this isn't Bourbon Street."

"Uh...I want to be big and burly...but I can't seem to get there."

Poopie looked into Paul's eyes. He then looked at the kid again, those ice blue diamonds drilling into his soul, penetrating him. The kid felt violated, and liked it. "Well, son, this is what proper training will do for you." With that he pulled off the sweatshirt. His pale nordic skin was clear and defined with an impressive array of muscle. The kid dropped to his knees. "Hit me." he whispered in awe.

Poopie looked down at him, and then looked at Paul. "He isn't ready for this yet, go take him somewhere else, like the Ballys downtown."

Paul grinned and said "I think he will do fine." He grabbed the kid and hauled him up on to his feet. "C'mon, we've got a lot of people to meet."

He walked the kid up to a door. There were two tiny window in the door. "Look here, kid, this is the combatives room."
The kid peered through the window. Two naked titans were struggling mightily with each other, their muscles standing out is sharp contrast as the attempted to throw each other to the floor. The appeared to be oiled up. "We adhere to many ancient greek principles" Paul started, "Many of us believe wrestling is the finest embodiment of individual mastery. The guy on the left is Steven, the guy on the right is Charles. They are living together, each having discovered they love the other while at some seminar in DC."

"I think I went to that seminar." said the kid.

"Let's leave them alone...c'mon this way."

They walked a little further into the building. "This is the sauna in here" Paul said, opening a door. Several figures sat up as the light invaded the room. "Keep on keepin' on, Gentlemen." Paul said.

"We have all sorts of good, solid basic equipment here, and pretty soon we'll meet someone who will help you set up your program, since it will need to be basic and brief. At least to start out with."

"Ok" said the kid. His eyes taking in the wonderment and majesty of the place.
Image
You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

User avatar
Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21107
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by Shafpocalypse Now » Fri Nov 06, 2015 3:45 am

Toohey went all born again, I think

Protobuilder
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 5025
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 11:51 am

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by Protobuilder » Fri Nov 06, 2015 1:28 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Kazuya Mishima wrote:Jesus Fucking Christ that Cyberpump site looks like a free porn link page from 1998. The only thing missing is some neon green text, a star field background, and some burning torch gifs.

Now you know why Proto doesn't click links.
Image
WildGorillaMan wrote:Enthusiasm combined with no skill whatsoever can sometimes carry the day.

User avatar
Bob Wildes
Top
Posts: 1822
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: Heart Of Darkness

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by Bob Wildes » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:00 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:The late HIT Jedi Sean Toohey (PBUH) once posted a "Top Ten Things That Are Wrong With Brooks D Kubik" that covered several of these beefs but alas, it was lost in the great ezBoard collapse of '05 and I don't think anyone saved a copy of it.
When did Sean Toohey die and what from?
"Tell A.P. Hill he must come up."

User avatar
WildGorillaMan
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9951
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by WildGorillaMan » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:04 pm

Bob Wildes wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:The late HIT Jedi Sean Toohey (PBUH) once posted a "Top Ten Things That Are Wrong With Brooks D Kubik" that covered several of these beefs but alas, it was lost in the great ezBoard collapse of '05 and I don't think anyone saved a copy of it.
When did Sean Toohey die and what from?
I have no idea. I just assumed, since he's been off the forumz for more than a decade. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Image
You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

User avatar
Bob Wildes
Top
Posts: 1822
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: Heart Of Darkness

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by Bob Wildes » Fri Nov 06, 2015 2:57 pm

Are you channeling Hotel California WGM?
"Tell A.P. Hill he must come up."

User avatar
cubejockey_81
Lance Cpl.
Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:27 am

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by cubejockey_81 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 3:45 pm

Sean Toohey still posts pretty regularly on the Hardgainer forum. Not sure why, as they're pretty dead last I checked.
I only post after three glasses of Glenlivet 18 on the rocks.

User avatar
WildGorillaMan
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9951
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by WildGorillaMan » Fri Nov 06, 2015 4:09 pm

cubejockey_81 wrote:Sean Toohey still posts pretty regularly on the Hardgainer forum. Not sure why, as they're pretty dead last I checked.

You've got to be shitting us. Not that he posts there, or that it's pretty dead, but that it still exists!?
Image
You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

User avatar
Bob Wildes
Top
Posts: 1822
Joined: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: Heart Of Darkness

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by Bob Wildes » Fri Nov 06, 2015 4:17 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
cubejockey_81 wrote:Sean Toohey still posts pretty regularly on the Hardgainer forum. Not sure why, as they're pretty dead last I checked.

You've got to be shitting us. Not that he posts there, or that it's pretty dead, but that it still exists!?
I thought the same thing. That said this place isn't exactly a beehive of activity nowadays.
"Tell A.P. Hill he must come up."

User avatar
cubejockey_81
Lance Cpl.
Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:27 am

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by cubejockey_81 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 4:43 pm

Bob Wildes wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
cubejockey_81 wrote:Sean Toohey still posts pretty regularly on the Hardgainer forum. Not sure why, as they're pretty dead last I checked.

You've got to be shitting us. Not that he posts there, or that it's pretty dead, but that it still exists!?
I thought the same thing. That said this place isn't exactly a beehive of activity nowadays.
It was never an open forum, have to register just to view it. I joined around 10 years ago at the tail end of the Hardgainer craze. Sean posted all the time, and if you dig in the archive, you'll find a Paul Kelso post or two. It went completely dead for awhile, but recently there's been a site re-design and some new activity. Looks like old Stewie's thrown out a new book or two as well.
I only post after three glasses of Glenlivet 18 on the rocks.

User avatar
mike.b
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 280
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2007 4:58 am

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by mike.b » Fri Nov 06, 2015 5:42 pm

Ha I got banned from the hard gainer forum for posting ''the gospels of wildboarman there'' years ago :)) fking douchebags

TerryB
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9697
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by TerryB » Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:00 pm

Too bad you're not banned here, yet, m8.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

Image

User avatar
WildGorillaMan
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9951
Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:01 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by WildGorillaMan » Fri Nov 06, 2015 10:18 pm

mike.b wrote:Ha I got banned from the hard gainer forum for posting ''the gospels of wildboarman there'' years ago :)) fking douchebags

I miss WildBoarMan and all the rest. I'm the last one.

The furious bannings from the HGRT were the genesis the earliest version of the Pibbs, speaking of dead boards.

There was a time when Webby was more hated than any @fit forum mod.
Image
You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

TerryB
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9697
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by TerryB » Sat Nov 07, 2015 1:42 am

I think we should migrate this board to Yuku
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

Image

User avatar
Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21107
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: Dinosaur training Brooks kubik

Post by Shafpocalypse Now » Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:33 pm

Totally. The Man Beast Club is gone, but has some surprising alumni

Post Reply