Delightful BMac Observations

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Chris McClinch
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Chris McClinch » Mon Mar 14, 2016 10:52 pm

Kenny X wrote:
Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Kenny X wrote:Is it true that he's DNF'd every event he ever signed-up for?
Give him some credit. He didn't start some of them.

Seriously, I've wanted to make a graph of his actual finishes where his times gradually worsen until he just DNF/DNS everything. It would save effort explaining why this is dumb.

Is everybody going to laugh at me and make fun of me if I ask why people give him money?
Because branding anything with @Fit causes a certain segment of the population to shut off their brains and whip out their credit cards.

That brand is legit turd polish.

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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Rudy Van Horne » Tue Mar 15, 2016 10:24 am

Chris McClinch wrote:
Kenny X wrote:
Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Kenny X wrote:Is it true that he's DNF'd every event he ever signed-up for?
Give him some credit. He didn't start some of them.

Seriously, I've wanted to make a graph of his actual finishes where his times gradually worsen until he just DNF/DNS everything. It would save effort explaining why this is dumb.

Is everybody going to laugh at me and make fun of me if I ask why people give him money?
Because branding anything with @Fit causes a certain segment of the population to shut off their brains and whip out their credit cards.

That brand is legit turd polish.
Because it normalises and celebrates vanity and arrogance.

If you want to make money in this world sell people their worst traits as virtues.
Kipping for Jesus

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powerlifter54
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by powerlifter54 » Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:41 pm

powerlifter54 wrote:
Bobby wrote:
powerlifter54 wrote:
Koko, Beware wrote:Renowned human performance pioneer Brian MacKenzie.

Hey can anyone tell me when the next Pose running seminar is? I would like to learn how to run some marathons by wearing low profile running shoes and never going over 800m in my training.

A friend lifted in a powerlifting meet once only training twice a week for 8 mins using a thighmaster and half a set of perfect pushup handles. And he went superslow.

Image

DNF
Do you think a thightmaster would help me not to finish a 20 kilometer ruck run with 44-55#? Hadn`t even thought about the possibility of using the tightmaster!
Bobby,

I can give you a lot of varied and challenging modalities to assist you in attaining a DNF.
10 of my best suggestions to attain maximum DNFs:
1. Sleep with a restriction mask. Not a CPAP mask, but a Hipster air restrictive mask. By restricting oxygen when you are asleep and your metabolism slows, you are teaching your body to embrace being a slacker.
2. Walk backward in a waist deep pool for 20 mins a day. Assists your proprioception incase you end up stuck in the water in a steeplechase pool or mudder run.
3. Only train the dominant side of your body with one arm pushups, pistols, and one arm concentration curls. The non dominant side will be forced to adapt.
4. Ignore the LSD coaches, practice my method SSS(tm). Short, slow, and sprint. Running 8-10 5 yard sprints once a week is all you need to dominate at any distance run.
5. The day before any race start a heavy squat or deadlift program.
6. Drink a lot of alcohol in training. If you poor purer alcohol on a pile of bacon it will burn much faster. That is the same way our body metabolizes fat.
7. You should never run more overall total distance in your training plan than the length of the race you for which you are training.
8. Look for powerlifters, @fitters, and gymnasts to tell you how to train for endurance sports. They are not caught up in the "this is the way we always trained olympians" mindset.
9. Be the pacesetter from the start. Crush your opponents will by showing them how you handle rapid onset lactic acid, cramping, and nausea.
10. Wear arm sleeves, high socks, gloves, and a backwards baseball hat on all untatted body parts to maximize drafting potential in case you lose lead. Also looks good on Facebook and Instagram pics.

Lagniappe
Get a photo of you running with your arms raised in Victory early in the race.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

Chris McClinch
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Chris McClinch » Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:46 pm

powerlifter54 wrote:
powerlifter54 wrote:
Bobby wrote:
powerlifter54 wrote:
Koko, Beware wrote:Renowned human performance pioneer Brian MacKenzie.

Hey can anyone tell me when the next Pose running seminar is? I would like to learn how to run some marathons by wearing low profile running shoes and never going over 800m in my training.

A friend lifted in a powerlifting meet once only training twice a week for 8 mins using a thighmaster and half a set of perfect pushup handles. And he went superslow.

Image

DNF
Do you think a thightmaster would help me not to finish a 20 kilometer ruck run with 44-55#? Hadn`t even thought about the possibility of using the tightmaster!
Bobby,

I can give you a lot of varied and challenging modalities to assist you in attaining a DNF.
10 of my best suggestions to attain maximum DNFs:
1. Sleep with a restriction mask. Not a CPAP mask, but a Hipster air restrictive mask. By restricting oxygen when you are asleep and your metabolism slows, you are teaching your body to embrace being a slacker.
2. Walk backward in a waist deep pool for 20 mins a day. Assists your proprioception incase you end up stuck in the water in a steeplechase pool or mudder run.
3. Only train the dominant side of your body with one arm pushups, pistols, and one arm concentration curls. The non dominant side will be forced to adapt.
4. Ignore the LSD coaches, practice my method SSS(tm). Short, slow, and sprint. Running 8-10 5 yard sprints once a week is all you need to dominate at any distance run.
5. The day before any race start a heavy squat or deadlift program.
6. Drink a lot of alcohol in training. If you poor purer alcohol on a pile of bacon it will burn much faster. That is the same way our body metabolizes fat.
7. You should never run more overall total distance in your training plan than the length of the race you for which you are training.
8. Look for powerlifters, @fitters, and gymnasts to tell you how to train for endurance sports. They are not caught up in the "this is the way we always trained olympians" mindset.
9. Be the pacesetter from the start. Crush your opponents will by showing them how you handle rapid onset lactic acid, cramping, and nausea.
10. Wear arm sleeves, high socks, gloves, and a backwards baseball hat on all untatted body parts to maximize drafting potential in case you lose lead. Also looks good on Facebook and Instagram pics.

Lagniappe
Get a photo of you running with your arms raised in Victory early in the race.
=D> =D> =D>

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Kazuya Mishima
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Kazuya Mishima » Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:11 pm

So much win in this, but the real magic starts at 3:45.

This is what happens when you get people who fancy themselves as scientists, but who have a near total absence of the ability to think statistically.


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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Shafpocalypse Now » Tue Mar 15, 2016 7:14 pm

Darsh is an awful person.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by WildGorillaMan » Tue Mar 15, 2016 8:24 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Darsh is an awful person.
I've typed out and then kiboshed a half dozen responses to this.

If only she did the same thing with her "writing."
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by milosz » Tue Mar 15, 2016 9:02 pm

The presence of and the way they write on that whiteboard makes me irrationally angry.

Three friends are attending a Crossfit gym on the "powerlifting" track. None of them have lifted in any real way before. Zero of them are on any kind of standard progression scheme. Two of them have started competing at local powerlifting meets (of which there are a metric shit-ton now), one has torn his labrum.

None reacted well when I pointed out that the original Metroflex is in town for $30/mo instead of $150. I guess Metroflex doesn't have a gym movie night, though, which totally evens out the money.

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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by milosz » Tue Mar 15, 2016 9:04 pm

One is a 42-year old former 82nd Airborne guy, whose back is fucked up from a variety of things. Day one they had him do push presses to a 1RM. Had to take two weeks off for his back to heal.

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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Holland Oates » Tue Mar 15, 2016 9:56 pm

There's a local strong woman who fucking loves Darsh and now she's considering going into masters highland games. Of course her first choice in training info is Matt V. I predict a short meteoric rise, a crash, and back to @fit strongman comps.
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Kenny X
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Kenny X » Tue Mar 15, 2016 10:47 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:So much win in this, but the real magic starts at 3:45.

This is what happens when you get people who fancy themselves as scientists, but who have a near total absence of the ability to think statistically.


I snarfed a mouthful of beer when she started talking about how getting 'em started in CrossFit is great for injury prevention.

Funny anecdote-

A co-worker of Mrs. Kenny X and one of our running buddies has a daughter who does CrossFit in-conjunction with marathon training. This gal was registered to run the Zydeco Marathon. Her mom brags about her all the time, as any good mom would.

Well, this CrossFit chick develops wicked knee pain, after a week of CrossFit and a twenty mile training run.

Mrs. Kenny X was talking to her mom about it, and the woman said, flatly, "My daughters knees are sore and they're not getting better, and she's not going to be doing the Zydeco Marathon."

Mrs. Kenny X asked- "Is she gonna do the Half instead?"

And the woman chuckled, patted Mrs. Kenny X on the head, and said "No my dear, my daughter doesn't do anything half-way."

And Mrs. Kenny X replied- "Oh. So she's content to just quit, then?"

Even the mom's of CrossFit'ers are delusional.
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Chris McClinch » Tue Mar 15, 2016 10:48 pm

Why half-ass what you can no-ass?

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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Shafpocalypse Now » Tue Mar 15, 2016 11:12 pm

I wonder if meth calves ever got over losing A girlfriend to Hop Sing.

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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Blaidd Drwg » Tue Mar 15, 2016 11:22 pm

IGX=Snopes for Crosstardz.
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Protobuilder » Sun Mar 27, 2016 5:05 am

Kazuya Mishima wrote:So much win in this, but the real magic starts at 3:45.

This is what happens when you get people who fancy themselves as scientists, but who have a near total absence of the ability to think statistically.

Did he say that was a specific programme for triathletes and other endurance athletes?

Who was the second guy?
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Tirofijo » Sun Mar 27, 2016 1:45 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:I wonder if meth calves ever got over losing A girlfriend to Hop Sing.

I was hoping Dirt Diva, with Hop Sing waiting faithfully with a cup of soup, would make a cameo in the Barkley Marathons doc we all watched last week. No such luck.

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Shafpocalypse Now » Sun Mar 27, 2016 7:44 pm

I cannot express the joy I feel when I can refer to hop sing and meth calves and everyone knows what I am talking about

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Kazuya Mishima
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Kazuya Mishima » Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:30 pm

What's truly sad about this loving couple is that I believe their break up was over a disagreement about distances...Meth Carl believed that running over "x" miles was fruitless, and DD is hopelessly addicted to the endless trail.

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Kazuya Mishima
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Kazuya Mishima » Mon Mar 28, 2016 1:32 pm

LOL...

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by WildGorillaMan » Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:10 pm

Dirt Diva is so far above him. She's so far above all of us mere mortals. PBUH. All hail the Dirt Diva.
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Re: Delightful BMac Observations

Post by Cave Canem » Mon Mar 28, 2016 8:37 pm

My bad....hit submit instead of preview.
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