Ip Man: The Final Fight
Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2013 5:30 pm
They should have called this movie 'Ip Man: Steel Magnolias' because it was a lot like watching 'Steel Magnolias', 'The Blind Side', or 'Pretty Woman'. Only difference being is that this latest Ip Man flick had slightly more kung fu than those other films.
Where to start...ok, fuck this movie. That's a good place to kick it off. Honestly, I don't know why this thing was even made. If you're not going to even attempt to outdo the recent Donnie Yen offerings then what is the point? The film kicks off with Ip Man in his later years when he gets a bug up his ass, and decides to move to Hong Kong in order to make some money. Nice idea, but he completely fucks it up by sitting around on his curmudgeonly ass. He's supposed to be a kung fu teacher, but is too lazy and proud to even hang up a sign or open a halfway decent school. He ends up living in some hovel on top of a rooftop, and somehow manages to attract a group of students who kick in enough money to keep him in blackest poverty. This is only the first of many nonsensical plot devices.
I really don't understand the hard on that has developed for Ip Man over the last few years and all of these movies that are being made. Of course, in typical dumbass fashion I've watched them all. Ip Man was a guy who was never in a single real fight in his entire life. Before becoming Bruce Lee's teacher he was mostly known for clocking some round eye cop and then running back to his dorm room. The heavens then blessed him by giving him a student that went on to become arguably the most famous martial artist on the planet. This made Ip Man the equivalent of a guy that was born on third base, and everybody thinks he hit a triple.
Anthony Wong is like a walking bottle of Nyquil. Where they drug up this half-a-chink, sleepy eyed faggot I'll never know. In spite of looking like he's made out of dogshit and cookie dough, compared to the real Ip Man he's practically blessed with the BBC genetics. Those who have seen the pics and footage of the real deal know what I’m talking about. This is a guy who would get worked over by practically any 15 year old Golden Gloves contender from any state in the Union, and here these chinks are making 10 movies a year about the fucking guy.
The last part of the film speeds up a bit with halfway decent action, but you’ve had to slog through the morbidly boring first 2/3’s to get there. This movie is fucking dogshit…don’t bother with it.
Where to start...ok, fuck this movie. That's a good place to kick it off. Honestly, I don't know why this thing was even made. If you're not going to even attempt to outdo the recent Donnie Yen offerings then what is the point? The film kicks off with Ip Man in his later years when he gets a bug up his ass, and decides to move to Hong Kong in order to make some money. Nice idea, but he completely fucks it up by sitting around on his curmudgeonly ass. He's supposed to be a kung fu teacher, but is too lazy and proud to even hang up a sign or open a halfway decent school. He ends up living in some hovel on top of a rooftop, and somehow manages to attract a group of students who kick in enough money to keep him in blackest poverty. This is only the first of many nonsensical plot devices.
I really don't understand the hard on that has developed for Ip Man over the last few years and all of these movies that are being made. Of course, in typical dumbass fashion I've watched them all. Ip Man was a guy who was never in a single real fight in his entire life. Before becoming Bruce Lee's teacher he was mostly known for clocking some round eye cop and then running back to his dorm room. The heavens then blessed him by giving him a student that went on to become arguably the most famous martial artist on the planet. This made Ip Man the equivalent of a guy that was born on third base, and everybody thinks he hit a triple.
Anthony Wong is like a walking bottle of Nyquil. Where they drug up this half-a-chink, sleepy eyed faggot I'll never know. In spite of looking like he's made out of dogshit and cookie dough, compared to the real Ip Man he's practically blessed with the BBC genetics. Those who have seen the pics and footage of the real deal know what I’m talking about. This is a guy who would get worked over by practically any 15 year old Golden Gloves contender from any state in the Union, and here these chinks are making 10 movies a year about the fucking guy.
The last part of the film speeds up a bit with halfway decent action, but you’ve had to slog through the morbidly boring first 2/3’s to get there. This movie is fucking dogshit…don’t bother with it.