IGX

1) Always, always, always hit the head before boarding an airplane.

2) If she has crazy eyes, it's because she's CRAZY!

Add your own wisdoms.

3) If your name is Bobby, you've probably sucked a dick or two

Wrong!

If you think you have to force it, you're gonna break it.

Totally not true, naf

Never date a waitress, or a woman who has more male friends than female

Eatin' ain't cheatin' only applies to lesbians.

Almost everything will take longer and cost more than anticipated.

Whenever you need triceps mass,heavy dips never fails!

Don't marry the crazy chick (if you break this rule and stick it out it may seem like she's calmed down after 25-30 years but it's just an illusion)

Olympic lifting is for fags.

My little dick has just as much fun as a big dick.

If you don't want any shit, don't start any.

Bad pussy is still good pussy

Slow down to go fast.

Fuck you.

Ahhh Yes..

Rule 10.

Three simple rules explain all human behavior:
1) If it smells good, eat it (aka if it feels good, do it).
2) If you don't understand it, make fun of it.
3) If you are afraid of it, kill it.

All can be taken literally and metaphorically.

1) Black and brown don't mix.
2) Never trust a black person with a Spanish last name.
3) Always be the first one to make a move.

Batboy had some rules that would work here, along the lines of, "...if you hang out with thugs, expect the negative consequences that usually follow, etc." Also, IIRC, Sua Sponte posted some good ones on the "Fake Ranger" thread, dealing with taking responsibility. Hopefully they'll throw those rules onto this thread, or someone with lots of free time can copy and post 'em here.

Got to get down to get down

Don't mix hypnotics and opiates.

Never take advice from washed-up white guys on the Internet.

If you think you can, or think you can't, you are probably right.

Pay for quality and you only cry once.