IGX

The last rapid, the biggest in the Grand Canyon, is Lava Falls. I got tossed from the raft near the top and "swam" 3/4 of the rapid. A comedy of errors --- a deadly comedy --- resulted in me being in the water for another 20 minutes and trapped under a raft for some of that time. I finally got up on a raft and we went to to the sandy beach at the tail of the rapid. I climbed out, walked several steps on the sand. Sat down, passed out and died.

My boat mates saw that I was #1 turning blue #2 wasn't breathing and #3 my pulse had stopped.

Justin K did cpr. (since we've talked about this, here's one scheme that worked.) He did 30 compressions on the second. Another guy drew two breaths for me. On the seventh round of this protocol (3.5 to 4 minutes) I regained consciousness. I regained in a startling manner because I growled and threw the clpr guy off me and hit someone else. (My excuse that I was fighting for my life underwater just minutes before and this may have been, in my mind, a continuation.)

The evac helicopter was there in 45 minutes. The paramedic guy said most cases of cardiac arrest don't end in such happy circumstances in the Canyon. I owe my life to my boat team.

Also, while I was out, pretty much dead for all practical purposes, I did not see a bright light, a beckoning figure or the pearly gates. It was all darkness. A vague grinding growl in the dark whispered "you may not leave until you enlightened them dumbfucks at IGX."

Glad your still with us, bummer about the pearly gates. Maybe your just not allowed in?

Damn. Glad you came through. That's a shitty trip

Actually it was bad luck. I'd do the trip again, it's so spectacular.

Bummer is bruised/fractured ribs from the cpr. Docs made me rent an oxygen machine cuz I can't expand my chest enough to breathe properly. Also, have water in my lungs and there is nothing to do about that except cough and that hurts like fury. Seriously, I was in the hospital and they could mainline morphine or give me oxycodone and it didn't come close to touching the pain.

But It's better than the alternative and things are slowly getting better.

That may be going too far for the story. Glad you're ok.

Drama Queen...

It needed saying. Just Saying

Did your try not being a faggot?

Wow, crazy story. So did they do a postmortem on the whole incident? A comedy of errors is not what you want from a professional river running service I'd think. They almost had to replace their sign that says "no fatalities in 319 days" with "in the last week".

I don't think your heart stopped, I think they couldn't find a pulse or beat. What did the doctors say? Did they carry an AED with them? You didn't see Andy?

You have to go a little farther next time. Maybe the David Carradine technique.

your writing is as felicitous as ever, so no apparent new brain damage from oxygen deprivation

What did you die from? Drowning? Heart attack? Or inability to properly narrate your life story?

Anyway, glad you're back with us, that would have been weird.

Take 2 aspirin and call my receptionist in the morning.

seeahill wrote: A vague grinding growl in the dark whispered "you may not leave until you enlightened them dumbfucks at IGX."

So you're effectively immortal?

Glad you came back...

At least you died doing what you loved.

In answer to some questions:
It was a private river party, not a commercial venture. It's very difficult to get a permit. My guy put in for it this year, didn't get it, but got this Nov/Dec date when another party dropped out. (Winter trips are best, imo.)

Comedy of errors: being thrown from the boat in Lava Falls, arguably the nastiest rapid in North America, is a known hazard that can defeat strength, skill, fervent prayer. So it was not a total surprise to be swept out of the boat. My pal was rowing. Heavy side curlers were looming over the boat from the right and I leaned into them and high sided it. How I get tossed out there is a mystery. So I was swept down the right side of the rapid. I drank some water and was pretty much exhausted from trying to get to the surface and get a breath while the river thought to treat my like a t-shirt in the Maytag.

Meanwhile, my buddy stopped rowing, afaid he'd bean me with an oar. Naturally he got tossed at the bottom of the rapid but was quickly rescued.

Meanwhile, I got hold of a rescue kayak in the confused waves near the end of the rapid, kicked hard and was dropped off by a raft. I grabbed the perimeter line. We moved to quieter water. At which point I saw another rescue raft on a collision course with the boat I was hanging from. Rather than get crushed between the two 2 thousand pound vessels, I ducked under. (So it was turning into a Keystone Kops rescue.) Under the boats --- and here's my biggest mistake --- I swam downriver. But we were in an eddy. The current was moving upriver. But, disoriented and fatigued, I swam against it and swallowed about 1/3 of the Colorado river. I finally came out the wrong side and struggled into the boat as folks helped pull me up.

Now:Heart attack or drowning. Answer: drowning. I was in the hospital for 5 days. Intensive care for two. And that was the question I had. The docs all said they weren't there and couldn't be sure. But There was no damage to my heart that might have been the remnants of a heart attack. And no damage from the event. There's a kind of enzyme that is in the blood after a heart attack. I had a scientifically teeny amount that was identified as washover from the cpr.

Yes, I did have a cardiac arrest. My heart stopped. But, when I asked the docs to speculate on what caused that, they said uniformly, "respiratory event." I drowned. I did not have a heart attack.

A lot of guys your age are busy choosing the color of their new walker and you've been busy fucking around on Everest and dying in the Colorado River. Atta a boy Timmy!

DrDonkeyLove wrote:A lot of guys your age are busy choosing the color of their new walker and you've been busy fucking around on Everest and dying in the Colorado River. Atta a boy Timmy!

Yep

Great work you old dog

Are you sure really woke up? Maybe this is just is some "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" shenanigan.

DrDonkeyLove wrote:A lot of guys your age are busy choosing the color of their new walker and you've been busy fucking around on Everest and dying in the Colorado River. Atta a boy Timmy!

^This



PS - I won't guess whether your heart actually stopped...we go to a lot of CPR's where the patient actually has a pulse. But your sore chest says they did good CPR: torn cartilage and broken ribs are the byproduct.

You should write a book or something

johno wrote:At least you died doing what you loved.

I wish I'd said that.

I'm glad you're not dead.

How was the weather?

I say we all chip and by Timmay a "Do not Resuscitate" T-shirt.

Good to hear you're OK Tim. Summer wouldn't be the same without the annual cabin update.

Batboy2/75 wrote:I say we all chip and by Timmay a "Do not Resuscitate" T-shirt.

Much more appropriate than the T-shit:

Best fiction writer on IGX, IMO.

Holy shit, man! I'm glad you're still around. Wow, that's crazy!