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I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:06 pm
by Shafpocalypse Now
But, holy fuck, Rant is back to his early Moynihan Institute levels of hilarity. After years of just shitty and stupid shit, he seems to have gotten his mojo back.

Booze for the win. I'm hoisting a fucking Strohs for him.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:18 pm
by Pinky
Dux, Shaf's account has been hacked.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:32 pm
by Kazuya Mishima
He is on his game, no doubt.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:54 pm
by Shapecharge
I check in over at the MI on occasion as well. He's got a few chuckles out of me. The comments crack me up just as much.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:02 pm
by Grandpa's Spells
Just took a look. The vibe I get is he is in serious need of help. Am I missing something?

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:16 pm
by Shafpocalypse Now
That's what's so awesome. Off the meds, on the booze, raving like a maniac...normally I'll go over there to see how many time he mentions me in any given article, but it's not funny, it's just kinda sad. The last few weeks have been actually funny again. Lulz

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:22 pm
by Shafpocalypse Now
What the fuck, I am mentioned constantly in the comments too, you fucking cocksuckers

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:25 pm
by TerryB
Shafpocalypse Now wrote: Rant
Great. You know what happens if two more people say it.

Image

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:41 pm
by Shapecharge
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:What the fuck, I am mentioned constantly in the comments too, you fucking cocksuckers
I know...that's what makes it all so hilarious.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:47 pm
by WildGorillaMan
Another week on the Don Blue 10x10 program has been wrapped up. This week I had to go Monday and Wednesday with squats as usual but last night I had to do the pulls and benches. Although my strength is still lagging a lot my muscles are swelling. I had a hard time getting into my 34 pants this morning. My glutes are already voluptuous and well developed. Squatting gives me an ass like a colored girl raised on red beans and rice fried in pig fat. That is always what happens to me when I start squatting. The fact that I am also pulling wide stance sumo is exacerbating everything but that’s OK. Apparently bubble butts are very fashionable in the homosexual community so I’ve got that to look forward to if I ever feel inclined to change teams.

Speaking of changing teams an end of an era has come to a close. Rant is getting snipped this afternoon and will no longer be able to procreate unless God himself intervenes which seems unlikely. Rant will call it a wrap after 5 kids (that he is aware of). There could be dozens of other half breed little Rant’s running around the East side ghettos of Cleveland with one of Rant’s former hoochies. The 80’s were a total blur for Rant but I did drink a lot at the Prospect Ave. Lounge and Club African in Glenville. So if for some reason you would like Rant to sell you some of his fertile spunk you better put your order in now. The clock is ticking and after 4:00pm it will be too late. My going spunk rate is $1,000 for .25 of an ounce. It’s almost guaranteed to produce males with cunt like dispositions, a proclivity to problematic drinking, depression and wanton violence. So place your orders now. Cash up front but for all you loyal bitches I’ll give you the insider’s discount of only $950 for a .25 of an ounce.
This is a word-for-word copypasta of a post he made on his old site years ago. I call bullshit, either he's not even trying anymore or he's passed on the mantle to a pretender.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:08 pm
by WildGorillaMan
Gus the fox is substantially funnier.

http://www.gusthefox.com/

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:10 pm
by Shafpocalypse Now
But I don't know Gus the fox, and therefore cannot enjoy the slow spiral down the toilet as much

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:11 pm
by WildGorillaMan
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:But I don't know Gus the fox, and therefore cannot enjoy the slow spiral down the toilet as much
I don't genuinely believe it is him.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:15 pm
by Kenny X
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:But I don't know Gus the fox, and therefore cannot enjoy the slow spiral down the toilet as much
I don't genuinely believe it is him.
Well, be that as it may, Hopefully all of you are now 100% certain that I am MOST-ASSUREDLY NOT, in-point-of-fact, a Rant sock-puppet.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:16 pm
by WildGorillaMan
Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:But I don't know Gus the fox, and therefore cannot enjoy the slow spiral down the toilet as much
I don't genuinely believe it is him.
Well, be that as it may, Hopefully all of you are now 100% certain that I am MOST-ASSUREDLY NOT, in-point-of-fact, a Rant sock-puppet.

the jury is still out on that. It could be a cunning ruse.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:22 pm
by Kenny X
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:But I don't know Gus the fox, and therefore cannot enjoy the slow spiral down the toilet as much
I don't genuinely believe it is him.
Well, be that as it may, Hopefully all of you are now 100% certain that I am MOST-ASSUREDLY NOT, in-point-of-fact, a Rant sock-puppet.

the jury is still out on that. It could be a cunning ruse.
He would have to possess a Professor Moriarty-esque level of cold, calculating genius to be able to pull something like that off. And I don't think anybody has it, I seriously don't think it could be done.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:06 pm
by Bob Wildes
I think Rant does pretty good for a functioning schizophrenic.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:50 pm
by The Venerable Bogatir X
This cracked me up!
Most of you are simply too young and/or too gay to remember when drinking beer was the unpretentious bastion of the heterosexual male. “Hey let’s grab a beer after work “solidified and forged friendships among heterosexual men for many, many generations. Those days are long over. Hand a guy a Bud nowadays and you’re bound to get the raised eyebrows and a “No thanks dude. Do you have anything else”? And by “anything else” he means a fucking craft beer. Just the term craft beer conjures up images of douchebags with beards that snowboard and drink their ales and IPAs out of fucking goblets so their small batch can breathe or something gay like that.

Some of you guys out there understand what I am getting at. You can’t crack open some fucking winter stock with hits of blueberries and chocolate when helping you’re neighbor put on those new brake pads. Can of Miller? You bet? Some one liter corked bottle of Belgian-Benedictine sperm flavored ale? No fucking way. Not on my watch you don’t. In my day twinks stuck to wine where they could carry on about aromas, complexities and hints of this or that. While they wore ascots and let wine roll around their palates we drank beers and made joke about these fops. Now the twinks have taken over one of the last bastions of the real man such as he is these days. And they do it all under the guise of just really enjoying a good beer or liking what “real beer “taste like.

Well you know what? Fuck you and your “real beer”. I was happily kiking sips out of my grandfathers Stroh’s back in 1968 while cops were beating the shit out of Abbey Hoffman in Chicago. And you know what? That was real beer and it tasted good. And those same brands still taste good today. Fuck you and your exquisite palates and all this hog wash about me not being able to appreciate good beer. I wish my grandfather were still alive today to have some pencil faggot whine on about domestic macro beers and what shit we produce in this country. You would be halfway through your diatribe before he had busted your fucking nose for being such an asshole.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:17 pm
by Bob Wildes
High Velocity Lie-Nap! wrote:This cracked me up!
Most of you are simply too young and/or too gay to remember when drinking beer was the unpretentious bastion of the heterosexual male. “Hey let’s grab a beer after work “solidified and forged friendships among heterosexual men for many, many generations. Those days are long over. Hand a guy a Bud nowadays and you’re bound to get the raised eyebrows and a “No thanks dude. Do you have anything else”? And by “anything else” he means a fucking craft beer. Just the term craft beer conjures up images of douchebags with beards that snowboard and drink their ales and IPAs out of fucking goblets so their small batch can breathe or something gay like that.

Some of you guys out there understand what I am getting at. You can’t crack open some fucking winter stock with hits of blueberries and chocolate when helping you’re neighbor put on those new brake pads. Can of Miller? You bet? Some one liter corked bottle of Belgian-Benedictine sperm flavored ale? No fucking way. Not on my watch you don’t. In my day twinks stuck to wine where they could carry on about aromas, complexities and hints of this or that. While they wore ascots and let wine roll around their palates we drank beers and made joke about these fops. Now the twinks have taken over one of the last bastions of the real man such as he is these days. And they do it all under the guise of just really enjoying a good beer or liking what “real beer “taste like.

Well you know what? Fuck you and your “real beer”. I was happily kiking sips out of my grandfathers Stroh’s back in 1968 while cops were beating the shit out of Abbey Hoffman in Chicago. And you know what? That was real beer and it tasted good. And those same brands still taste good today. Fuck you and your exquisite palates and all this hog wash about me not being able to appreciate good beer. I wish my grandfather were still alive today to have some pencil faggot whine on about domestic macro beers and what shit we produce in this country. You would be halfway through your diatribe before he had busted your fucking nose for being such an asshole.
Who wrote that Lie Nap?

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:28 pm
by The Venerable Bogatir X
Bob Wildes wrote:
High Velocity Lie-Nap! wrote:This cracked me up!
Most of you are simply too young and/or too gay to remember when drinking beer was the unpretentious bastion of the heterosexual male. “Hey let’s grab a beer after work “solidified and forged friendships among heterosexual men for many, many generations. Those days are long over. Hand a guy a Bud nowadays and you’re bound to get the raised eyebrows and a “No thanks dude. Do you have anything else”? And by “anything else” he means a fucking craft beer. Just the term craft beer conjures up images of douchebags with beards that snowboard and drink their ales and IPAs out of fucking goblets so their small batch can breathe or something gay like that.

Some of you guys out there understand what I am getting at. You can’t crack open some fucking winter stock with hits of blueberries and chocolate when helping you’re neighbor put on those new brake pads. Can of Miller? You bet? Some one liter corked bottle of Belgian-Benedictine sperm flavored ale? No fucking way. Not on my watch you don’t. In my day twinks stuck to wine where they could carry on about aromas, complexities and hints of this or that. While they wore ascots and let wine roll around their palates we drank beers and made joke about these fops. Now the twinks have taken over one of the last bastions of the real man such as he is these days. And they do it all under the guise of just really enjoying a good beer or liking what “real beer “taste like.

Well you know what? Fuck you and your “real beer”. I was happily kiking sips out of my grandfathers Stroh’s back in 1968 while cops were beating the shit out of Abbey Hoffman in Chicago. And you know what? That was real beer and it tasted good. And those same brands still taste good today. Fuck you and your exquisite palates and all this hog wash about me not being able to appreciate good beer. I wish my grandfather were still alive today to have some pencil faggot whine on about domestic macro beers and what shit we produce in this country. You would be halfway through your diatribe before he had busted your fucking nose for being such an asshole.
Who wrote that Lie Nap?
Sorry, I pulled a The Shafbama and did not reference a link....it's on Rant's site.

http://moynihaninstitute.blogspot.com/

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:41 pm
by Bob Wildes
I like it. I know a bunch of slow ass marathon runners that talk all that Pale Ale, Belgian this or that, anything
but standard American Beer shite.

That is totally different than a typical Rant rant which seems to go something like this......Shaf is a fat slob
powerlifting cunty cunt cuntass cunt.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 3:08 pm
by Mickey O'neil
High Velocity Lie-Nap! wrote:This cracked me up!
Most of you are simply too young and/or too gay to remember when drinking beer was the unpretentious bastion of the heterosexual male. “Hey let’s grab a beer after work “solidified and forged friendships among heterosexual men for many, many generations. Those days are long over. Hand a guy a Bud nowadays and you’re bound to get the raised eyebrows and a “No thanks dude. Do you have anything else”? And by “anything else” he means a fucking craft beer. Just the term craft beer conjures up images of douchebags with beards that snowboard and drink their ales and IPAs out of fucking goblets so their small batch can breathe or something gay like that.

Some of you guys out there understand what I am getting at. You can’t crack open some fucking winter stock with hits of blueberries and chocolate when helping you’re neighbor put on those new brake pads. Can of Miller? You bet? Some one liter corked bottle of Belgian-Benedictine sperm flavored ale? No fucking way. Not on my watch you don’t. In my day twinks stuck to wine where they could carry on about aromas, complexities and hints of this or that. While they wore ascots and let wine roll around their palates we drank beers and made joke about these fops. Now the twinks have taken over one of the last bastions of the real man such as he is these days. And they do it all under the guise of just really enjoying a good beer or liking what “real beer “taste like.

Well you know what? Fuck you and your “real beer”. I was happily kiking sips out of my grandfathers Stroh’s back in 1968 while cops were beating the shit out of Abbey Hoffman in Chicago. And you know what? That was real beer and it tasted good. And those same brands still taste good today. Fuck you and your exquisite palates and all this hog wash about me not being able to appreciate good beer. I wish my grandfather were still alive today to have some pencil faggot whine on about domestic macro beers and what shit we produce in this country. You would be halfway through your diatribe before he had busted your fucking nose for being such an asshole.
Haha! That is good.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 4:21 pm
by Andy83
=D> I think I wrote that. Back in the 50s when men and warriors drank PBR. It's still a great beer but fags and twinks won't try it because the price is still down. Snobbish cunts.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 4:30 pm
by Bob Wildes
Andy79 wrote:=D> I think I wrote that. Back in the 50s when men and warriors drank PBR. It's still a great beer but fags and twinks won't try it because the price is still down. Snobbish cunts.
Pabst didn't win that blue ribbon in 18whenever for nothing.

Re: I never thought I'd say this, either...

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:02 pm
by Andy83
Bob Wildes wrote:
Andy79 wrote:=D> I think I wrote that. Back in the 50s when men and warriors drank PBR. It's still a great beer but fags and twinks won't try it because the price is still down. Snobbish cunts.
Pabst didn't win that blue ribbon in 18whenever for nothing.
Pussy drinkin cunts have driven demand for it down and call it "cheap". It ain't "cheap". It''s just less money than the pussy piss the snobs think is exquisite and classy or something.