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Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:28 pm
by buckethead
Following the events of last week, in which a crazed western lowland gorilla ruthlessly murdered 21 people in a local shopping plaza after escaping from the San Diego Zoo, sources across the country confirmed Thursday that national gorilla sales have since skyrocketed.
“After seeing yet another deranged gorilla just burst into a public place and start killing people, I decided I need to make sure something like that never happens to me,” said 34-year-old Atlanta resident Nick Keller, shortly after purchasing a 350-pound mountain gorilla from his local gorilla store. “It just gives me peace of mind knowing that if I’m ever in that situation, I won’t have to just watch helplessly as my torso is ripped in half and my face is chewed off. I’ll be able to use my gorilla to defend myself.”
Article
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 11:45 pm
by Protobuilder
You need to be more direct here if you want people to respond.
Try "Obama is going to take away your right to own bananas, thus leading to a backdoor ban on gorillas!".
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 2:12 am
by WildGorillaMan
Nobody's taking the backdoor away from gorillas. Nobody!
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:08 am
by nafod
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:53 am
by johno
Such a clever thread.
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:11 pm
by Holeyfraggaroley
Backdooring gorillas? That would make top 10 of 100 ways to die.
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:05 pm
by nafod
johno wrote:Such a clever thread.
Don't worry, they come in matte black too.
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:46 am
by Holland Oates
nafod wrote:
Don't worry, they come in matte black too.
Aren't they all?
Re: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket
Posted: Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:14 am
by nafod
Ed Zachary wrote:nafod wrote:
Don't worry, they come in matte black too.
Aren't they all?
Don't make me google on chartreuse gorilla. You know it's out there.
