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Worst...movie...ever
Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:46 pm
by Kazuya Mishima
'The Marine' with WWE Supah-staaaaahhhhh John Cena. The UNRATED version no less.
Christ knows why my wife rented it...bless her soul.
Started out pretty good when he rescues some Marines from being beheaded in Iraq...ices 9 terrorist sand nigras in nicely done over the top Hollywood style. All down hill from there...
The only upside is his wife is played by the hot blonde chick from Nip/Tuck, but she don't get nekkid so who cares. Bad writing...jokes are bad, I mean BAAAAAADDD!!!
Evidently, he's not only a Marine, but also has an adamantium skeleton...he gets hit full power in the face with a fire extinguisher, back of the head with a two by four, full on punches to the face by 300 lbs men while tied to a chair, and gut shot with a 10 lbs sledge hammer. Nigga keeps on tickin', yo.
Don't watch it...please.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 12:56 am
by The Venerable Bogatir X
Jack wrote:At any point in the movie does obsess over saying other men like to watch him piss, does he then actually piss on his wife, girlfriend, or cat
That was another shitty movie...
Jarhead.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:48 am
by GoDogGo!
Jack wrote:At any point in the movie does obsess over saying other men like to watch him piss, does he then actually piss on his wife, girlfriend, or cat, and finally was he actually Former Force Recon, or just an artey grunt?
Jack, he's got you spinning. You are rapidly approaching Jeek status again. Chill.
GDG!
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 2:27 am
by GoDogGo!
I was actually commenting on how the first response in this thread was another attack on G, dragging that crap out of the FSF and into here.
GDG!
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:28 pm
by Kazuya Mishima
Jack wrote:It's was a actually a slam (sorta) on Marines (and G) and their quextionable behavior, but with those keenly inaccurate skills of observation and whatnot, you've killed it. Had you just let it go (impossible for you to do when it comes to defending G) it would have just passed as we were already on our way to slamming the equally horrid Jarhead.
Is FMJ the only good movie about Gyrines?
I still like Heartbreak Ridge...it's a little cheesey when I watch it now, but I could watch that shit over and over when I was a teenager. Besides...it's Clint Eastwood.
Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:44 pm
by Turdacious
High Velocity Lie-Nap! wrote:Jack wrote:At any point in the movie does obsess over saying other men like to watch him piss, does he then actually piss on his wife, girlfriend, or cat
That was another shitty movie...
Jarhead.
That movie was shit.
Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 6:43 pm
by TomFurman
The worst movie was "The Trial of Billy Jack".
Astro Zombies with Tura Santana was better than that.
Re: Worst...movie...ever
Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:33 am
by Abandoned by Wolves
Kazuya Mishima wrote:'The Marine' with WWE Supah-staaaaahhhhh John Cena. The UNRATED version no less.
Christ knows why my wife rented it...bless her soul.
Started out pretty good when he rescues some Marines from being beheaded in Iraq...ices 9 terrorist sand nigras in nicely done over the top Hollywood style. All down hill from there...
The only upside is his wife is played by the hot blonde chick from Nip/Tuck, but she don't get nekkid so who cares. Bad writing...jokes are bad, I mean BAAAAAADDD!!!
Evidently, he's not only a Marine, but also has an adamantium skeleton...he gets hit full power in the face with a fire extinguisher, back of the head with a two by four, full on punches to the face by 300 lbs men while tied to a chair, and gut shot with a 10 lbs sledge hammer. Nigga keeps on tickin', yo.
Don't watch it...please.
Based on your review, I will avoid it....but the WME, in my opinion, has to be "Teenagers Battle The Thing", or else "Deafula". Yes, "Deafula" is an actual movie, where the characters (you can't call them "actors") all sign their speech in ASL while tone-deaf voice actors overdub the lines. It was apparently shot for $2.98 by someone who had never held a camera before.
So "The Marine" loses out if only because it had an actual budget and features an impressively muscled fellow doing manly things in a manly way. Call it "Worst...Movie With An Actual Budget...ever."
Re: Worst...movie...ever
Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:37 am
by Crust Bucket
Abandoned by Wolves wrote:Based on your review, I will avoid it....but the WME, in my opinion, has to be "Teenagers Battle The Thing", or else "Deafula". Yes, "Deafula" is an actual movie, where the characters (you can't call them "actors") all sign their speech in ASL while tone-deaf voice actors overdub the lines. It was apparently shot for $2.98 by someone who had never held a camera before.
WTF!? LOL....Now you have me wanting to take a look at that gem.
Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 12:39 am
by GoDogGo!
Come on, have none of you seen "MANOS?"
GDG!
Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 2:54 am
by Maza
Fugitive Alien has to be up there.
Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:38 pm
by Abandoned by Wolves
GoDogGo! wrote:Come on, have none of you seen "MANOS?"
GDG!
Yeah, "Manos" is right up there. But it at least had the germ of a spooky little story at its core...which was sabotaged by the fact that Hal Warren didn't make a single correct decision on anything in the movie. I kiddingly wrote in IMDb that
Manos: The Hands Of Fate" isn't so much a "bad" movie as it is an "anti-movie". Not one scene, not one shot, not one line of spoken dialog, works as cinematic entertainment. To put the metaphor another way, it isn't even that the photography, writing, costumes, etc are "incompetent"...it's more like the whole film was done by people who didn't seem to realize they were supposed to be making a *film* instead of an 8th grade dramatic production of "Helter Skelter."
But I stand by my opinion. "Deafula" is so wrong-headed that it leaves you speechless. And "Teenagers Battle The Thing" makes "Plan 9 from Outer Space" look like a Francis Ford Coppola film.