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L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:42 pm
by Hebrew Hammer
May you all have a sweet, happy, healthy, prosperous new year.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:55 pm
by Kraj 2.0
I'm sure you wish us well.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 8:19 pm
by Gene
Peace, Mr. S.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 11:09 pm
by Andy83
I have a new nose hair trimmer.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:41 am
by Fat Cat
I'm reminded of what my mother would tell me on special days like this: "fuck off, loser".

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:07 am
by seeahill
Happy New Year. I'm only saying this for you. I don't get it.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:15 am
by Protobuilder
I actually googled "L'shana tova u'mtuka".

This site was the second return - sort of makes you feel good about posting here.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 2:40 am
by Paradoxes of Defense
Hebrew Hammer wrote:May you all have a sweet, happy, healthy, prosperous new year.
Thank you HH, and also to you. May you be inscribed for a good year in the book of life.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 2:53 am
by johno
Hebrew Hammer wrote:May you all have a sweet, happy, healthy, prosperous new year.
Nine months late, but thanks for the kind thought.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 2:57 am
by buckethead
I don't get it. Is it a new fiscal year?

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 5:04 pm
by Pootie Tang
Mo shalla bo dangy. Sippa tie!

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 2:47 am
by bigpeach
Hebrew Hammer wrote:L'shana tova u'mtuka
Gesundheit.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 6:24 am
by Fat Cat
where you been peach

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:26 pm
by DrDonkeyLove
Hmmm, Rosh Hashanah falls in the middle of Dux' struggling fund drive. Suddenly and unexpectedly the Hebrew Hammer sends out a secret coded message and all of a sudden we're golden. Coincidence, or conspiracy?

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:50 pm
by bigpeach
Fat Cat wrote:where you been peach
Mostly at ultrasounds or scoping west Omaha MILFs and their high school daughters whilst my woman shops for clothes for Boy. No longer working from a home office, so my online time is limited mostly to iphone facebook stalking all the bitches who rejected me in high school and college.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:13 pm
by Hebrew Hammer
Kraj 2.0 wrote:I'm sure you wish us well.
Well, had I written more than a sentence, I would have added a few exceptions. Turn the other cheek isn't part of my book. I do hope, though, that God's light does lead you to change from being a hate-filled cockroach to someone who puts his creativity, humor, and talent to good use.

To almost everyone else on here, I pray that this year brings an about-face in your challenges and struggles and that you experience only God's kindness, love, and embrace.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:29 pm
by Hebrew Hammer
BucketHead wrote:I don't get it. Is it a new fiscal year?
Thank you for inquiring. The talmudic tractate of Rosh Hashana explains that there are four new years:

Tishrei 1 - the birthday of the world, and the new year for calendar years, sabbatical and jubilee years, and grain tithes.

Shevat 1, or tu b'shvat - the new year for trees and their tithes

Nissan 1 - the new year for months (see Exodus 12:12), major festivals, the years a King has reigned (so if the King's reign started a day before Nissan 1, then on Nissan 2, he'd be in the second year of his reign, which is the way the bible gives dates).

Elul 1 - the new year for animal tithes.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:30 pm
by Fat Cat
bigpeach wrote:
Fat Cat wrote:where you been peach
Mostly killing hookers and eating their corpses.
Cool.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:49 pm
by Hebrew Hammer
To those fasting beginning tomorrow night, an easy fast. May god seal all of us in the book of life for a good year.

kol nidre

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g047Ggb ... re=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVhAXr_5 ... re=related

Avinu malkeinu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YONAP39 ... re=related

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:10 am
by seeahill
Fasting? What about the brisket? Isn't this the day you spit on each others' shoes and dance the Torah?

I'm confused.

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:18 am
by louburr
Stick you Shlepper

Re: L'shana tova u'mtuka

Posted: Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:32 am
by Hebrew Hammer
seeahill wrote:Fasting? What about the brisket? Isn't this the day you spit on each others' shoes and dance the Torah?

I'm confused.
You have consumed too much mayo in your life, you're hopelessly fahrchadet, fahrklumpt, farmisched, fartumelt, and farblondgett.

We dance with the Torah on Simchat Torah, which follows Shimini Atzeret, which ends Sukkot.

We dance the hora at simchas.

The spitting on shoes goes in Nafod's thread, or you may be thinking of chalitza, by which a widow releases her brother-in-law from levirate marriage. (Deut. 25:5-10)

And the brisket would be part of a tasty pre-fast meal, though it's best to break the fast with light foods.