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Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:45 am
by Sassenach
Stolen from another forum. Laughing my ass off at these and it occurs me you depraved fuckers could probably come up with better.
-When the guy makes more noise than the chick. Or too much noise in general.
-When it takes until 99% of the way through the video for her to even finish stripping.
-20 minutes of interview
-badly acted "plot" (oddly enough, I don't mind "plot" if it's well acted)
-haggard 35-year-olds dressed up as cheerleaders or girl scouts, as if they are fooling anybody
-obviously fake orgasms
-obviously staged "crazy parties"
-anything with a dancing bear in it.
-camera man making excessive use of zoom feature. It's porn. I want to see wtf is going on. Stop trying to get "artsy" with it zooming in on her toes.
-Asians chicks from Chicago adopting extremely bad asian accents.
-when the dude seems excessively lazy.
-20 minute videos that turn out to just be 20 minutes of bj with her clothes on the entire time.
Anal
When the horse doesn't cooperate
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:46 am
by Sassenach
-dude who won't shut the fuck up with the "OH YEAH IM FUCKIN YOUR PUSSY OH YEAH OH YEAH OOOOH YEEAAAAAAH"
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:47 am
by Sassenach
I wish they would show porn bloopers in the end. sometimes i want a laugh after fapping.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:48 am
by Sassenach
-porn listed as "amatuer" yet the chick can take a 14 inch cock without flinching
-blurred out asian porn
-learn to fucking shave, asians
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:49 am
by Sassenach
-chicks who eyefuck the camera the entire time. DONT YOU LOOK AT ME!!
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:51 am
by Sassenach
EZ chimes in...
When the chick takes her pants off and has a penis, then you realize that you somehow ended up watching a tranny flick
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:15 am
by tough old man
OOOOHHHHHH! done that.....
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:38 am
by WildGorillaMan
For a "Worst Porn" party (co-ed) where everyone had to bring the worst porn VHS they could find at the video store I brought one that was nothing but bloopers.
It was actually pretty funny.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:57 am
by Blaidd Drwg
squirting videos....splashy, yes...piss geyser? C'mon that's just lame.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:06 am
by Kenny X
I always hated the "ass and balls shot" .. you know, where it's the dude's ass crack and nuts while he's drilling the chick. Hate that. Totally unnecessary.
As for bloopers, there's always PornFail ;-)
http://www.pornfail.com
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:20 am
by buckethead
I hate the two guys/one girl videos when the girl never shows up. At least not by the time I'm done
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:24 am
by seeahill
When the guy pulls out and starts stroking preparatory to the money shot. And it takes, oh, a month or two of watching this guy stroke...
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:41 am
by Turdacious
Jezebel Jones wrote:Anal
When the horse doesn't cooperate
The guy complaining must be from the state of Washington.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:57 am
by Protobuilder
The word "porno" needs to be eliminated. Porn simply sounds better.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:57 am
by Protobuilder
When the couple starts and the next instant her clothes are off and they are hanging from the ceiling fan with a donkey and another guy in the room - I want to see how things arrived at that moment.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:24 am
by DARTH
Back in 2002 I worked with a buddy, Nuk'em who had before hand worked at a local Porn chain.
We had this 18 year old black laborer, great kid, hard worker and almost Boyscoutish.
But anyways for some reason he tells my Buddy that his girl wants him to get a Porn video and watch it together.
So buddy gives the kid a porn vid as he kept a trunk full of porn films.
Next day kid comes "Fuck you man! That was fucked up."
I say to the kid "What's the matter, did Nuk'em give you a bad vid?
"We put it in and the next thing I know there is this white chick surround by like 12 fucking black dudes jerking off!"
Nuk'em "What?! What?! I thought they'd be down with that.
Everyone, me, the mexicans even the kid lost it.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 5:31 am
by bigpeach
Lack of midgets and BBWs.
Skin tags in the genital area.
Painless anal.
Phony pick-up scenarios.
Real Thai and Filipina hookers being fucked by a 70 year old dude. Waste of a good hooker.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:28 am
by Thatcher II
The acting on many British soaps is so bad you would think you're watching a porno. I bet some poor American sap got hold of an "Emmerdale Farm" tape at some point and spent 30 minutes "waiting for the action".
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:44 am
by Turdacious
Gorbachev wrote:The acting on many British soaps is so bad you would think you're watching a porno. I bet some poor American sap got hold of an "Emmerdale Farm" tape at some point and spent 30 minutes "waiting for the action".
You watch soaps?
Explains a lot.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 6:58 am
by Protobuilder
Gorbachev wrote:"Emmerdale Farm"
Not going to fall for it and even consider googling that.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 8:48 am
by Bobby
Terry B:Emmerdale farm is called "Hem till gården" in swedish.See,you learnt something new today and free as well!
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:38 pm
by WildGorillaMan
You fool, you've doomed us all.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:55 pm
by Kenny X
WildGorillaMan wrote:
You fool, you've doomed us all.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:40 pm
by Shapecharge
The website that Dr. Ag posted is hilarious. Some of the comments are pure gold.
Re: Things That Annoy You In Pornos
Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2012 3:09 pm
by TerryB
many of these films have men that appear to have larger units than myself
this is annoying