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Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:47 pm
by Grandpa's Spells
http://jezebel.com/a-victim-looks-like- ... socialflow

There's an updated article from the police, so they thought it warranted changing, and I'm seeing women absolutely infuriated by this. I think the tone is a little dumb, but the practical advice seems pretty much rock solid.

Normally I'd dismiss this as silliness. But a pissed off FB friend posted this and shared that she'd been sexually assaulted in college twice.

I once helped a kid off of DePaul's campus who'd just been sliced up by a mugger. The advice he'd get would have looked pretty much identical to what these campus police give, regardless of gender.

I'm not going to point that out a woman who got attacked, so I won't ask her. But I'm wondering, aside from tone, what these guys are getting so wrong.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:59 pm
by Kazuya Mishima
It's offensive in the context of modern society where FEELINGS are the most important thing. It's bad enough I got raped/mugged/beat up, but HOW DARE YOU suggest that I am somehow at fault and contributed to my own victimhood. Same thing with dumb girls who dress like sluts and get shitfaced at frat houses...it's Johnny Fingerbanger's fault alone that she got sexually molested, and HOW DARE the misogynistic, male dominated society suggest that her poor choices led to a chain of events that resulted in unwanted cock up her ass.

We need to rehash EST as a standard de-programming tool for today's society. It's mostly a shit program, but at least it's predicated on the foundation that everything that you experience is your fault. You got raped...your fault. You got cancer...your fault. Ebola killed your daughter...your fault. Sounds stupid on the surface, but the essence is basically own your life/own your experience. No victims allowed.

Life is a full-contact sport that is full of shit heads. There is no natural right to be left alone and unharmed in an impersonal universe that doesn't give a fuck about you. Walk tall, be confident, and pack motherfucking heat...it is up to you...there are no guarantees. But, that's what people want...guarantees and a free warranty for a perfect life. And...the preservation of their precious feelings and total respect from everyone for whatever thought constructs they use to make sense of the world.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:02 pm
by syaigh
Its not offensive. I tell my kids the same thing. So does every self defense coach I've ever known.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:14 pm
by johno
So many women claim to have been "assaulted" these days. I no longer know what the word means.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:58 pm
by syaigh
I read in the comments some person saying that we wouldn't blame our kids for getting their toy taken away from them from another kid because they were playing with it in plain sight. Well, if they left it sitting on a park bench unattended, I sure as hell would blame them. I'd still try and get it back and shame on the kid who took it, but just because people shouldn't steal, rape, kill, doesn't mean it won't happen.

Self-righteousness is not an adequate defense in a physical assault.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:58 pm
by syaigh
I read in the comments some person saying that we wouldn't blame our kids for getting their toy taken away from them from another kid because they were playing with it in plain sight. Well, if they left it sitting on a park bench unattended, I sure as hell would blame them. I'd still try and get it back and shame on the kid who took it, but just because people shouldn't steal, rape, kill, doesn't mean it won't happen.

Self-righteousness is not an adequate defense in a physical assault.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 6:53 pm
by Holland Oates
The Jezebel culture doesn't believe in preventing rape with common sense or violence they think we should just teach men not to rape. Because the kind of animal will forcibly rape a woman will respond to reason.

My mom is 5' nothing and under 120#. She opens her business every morning by herself . She knows she's not physically intimidating. So you want to know her answer. Concealed carry permit and a willingness to pull a gun on a shady motherfucker.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 6:54 pm
by DrDonkeyLove
I'm skinny, old, dress like I probably have some folding money, and travel alone at night in all kinds of areas - some of them dodgy. I don't like to admit it to myself but I've reached a place in life where I'm starting to look like an easy target so I follow the advice in the article as a matter of practice. If I could carry, I sometimes would. It's nothing more than common sense to try to be less attractive prey to keep the wolf away.

The young woman who wrote the article represents an attitude I've seen among some white women of means who grew up in safe neighborhoods in the heart of Whitelandia. They can't quite grasp that Daddy (the college or police) can't keep them 100% safe and refuse to accept the need for vigilance against predators. I'd really like to understand their thinking on the matter but it's so out of tune with real life that I can't.

Minorites, lower income people, and those who accept that there are sneaky predators about aren't offended by this basic advice.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 6:58 pm
by johno
DrDonkeyLove wrote:They can't quite grasp that Daddy (the college or police) can't keep them 100% safe and refuse to accept the need for vigilance against predators.
These are the type that think they were sexually assaulted when someone pats their ass on the dance floor.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:39 pm
by Grandpa's Spells
syaigh wrote:I read in the comments some person saying that we wouldn't blame our kids for getting their toy taken away from them from another kid because they were playing with it in plain sight. Well, if they left it sitting on a park bench unattended, I sure as hell would blame them. I'd still try and get it back and shame on the kid who took it, but just because people shouldn't steal, rape, kill, doesn't mean it won't happen.

Self-righteousness is not an adequate defense in a physical assault.
Sometimes I find this easier to contemplate when looking at other cultures. For example, India is rapey as hell. A woman walking alone at night is considered to be asking for it. This is not a place where they need to teach women to cover up more and stop tempting dudes, or teach them to not act like a target; they need to fix something fucked up in their culture.

I'm having a pretty hard time drawing parallels between that and how general crime prevention advice here is an issue. Perhaps with the pervalence of sex crimes on college campuses, and that they don't come from strangers attacking you on the street (this is Madison, not New York), maybe ignoring that and focusing on less likely "stranger danger" stuff is considered insensitive.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:03 pm
by nafod
The problem is the false logic that thinking you need to protect yourself means you bear some of the 'blame' for the perp's actions.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:07 pm
by Turdacious
Grandpa's Spells wrote:
syaigh wrote:I read in the comments some person saying that we wouldn't blame our kids for getting their toy taken away from them from another kid because they were playing with it in plain sight. Well, if they left it sitting on a park bench unattended, I sure as hell would blame them. I'd still try and get it back and shame on the kid who took it, but just because people shouldn't steal, rape, kill, doesn't mean it won't happen.

Self-righteousness is not an adequate defense in a physical assault.
Sometimes I find this easier to contemplate when looking at other cultures. For example, India is rapey as hell. A woman walking alone at night is considered to be asking for it. This is not a place where they need to teach women to cover up more and stop tempting dudes, or teach them to not act like a target; they need to fix something fucked up in their culture.

I'm having a pretty hard time drawing parallels between that and how general crime prevention advice here is an issue. Perhaps with the pervalence of sex crimes on college campuses, and that they don't come from strangers attacking you on the street (this is Madison, not New York), maybe ignoring that and focusing on less likely "stranger danger" stuff is considered insensitive.
Roofiecoladas are common in every college town-- the writer is stupid.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:21 pm
by dead man walking
Ed Zachary wrote:The . . . culture . . . believe . . . we should just teach men not to rape.
my niece, a freshwoman in college in nyc, said this recently.

i worry that her principles make her vulnerable out there in a world with future igxers on the loose.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:43 pm
by buckethead
Grandpa's Spells wrote:http://jezebel.com/a-victim-looks-like- ... socialflow

There's an updated article from the police, so they thought it warranted changing, and I'm seeing women absolutely infuriated by this. I think the tone is a little dumb, but the practical advice seems pretty much rock solid.

Normally I'd dismiss this as silliness. But a pissed off FB friend posted this and shared that she'd been sexually assaulted in college twice.

I once helped a kid off of DePaul's campus who'd just been sliced up by a mugger. The advice he'd get would have looked pretty much identical to what these campus police give, regardless of gender.

I'm not going to point that out a woman who got attacked, so I won't ask her. But I'm wondering, aside from tone, what these guys are getting so wrong.
The article makes two PR blunders. One, it is written by officer William Brown. Second, it should have led off with criminality and their relentless pursuit of removing these predators.

All of the comments in this thread are based on reason and logic only, which is ludicrous. For y'all to think these women should be purely logical and reasoning about sexual assault is as futile as them thinking the world should not have sexual predators. Both cases involve "ought" instead of "is"

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:58 pm
by buckethead
Of course they already edited: http://uwpd.wisc.edu/news/tools-you-can ... on-campus/
Tools You Can Use: Staying Safe on Campus
10/8/14 Editor’s Note: After getting feedback from a number of individuals, the UW-Madison Police Department immediately (yesterday) made edits to this article, which talks about general crime safety on campus. We realized some wording should have been phrased better and in a more sensitive nature. For that, we apologize.

We also want to point out that this is an article about general crime prevention on our campus — the intent of this article is not, and never has been, specifically about the prevention of sexual assault. Many have taken this article out of context. We understand the vast majority of sexual assaults are committed by acquaintances of the survivor. This article speaks solely to crimes commonly committed by strangers. In the future, we’ll do a better job of ensuring that the intent and focus of the article are more clear.

It is NEVER a victim’s fault if they find themselves targeted in any crime. Ever. The tips below are great tools for our students, faculty, and staff to have in their “safety tool belt.” They are not failsafe or guaranteed — but merely tools to use to help with personal safety.

For more information about the great programs on our campus regarding sexual assault, and resources for sexual assault survivors, please see the following links:

EVOC (End Violence on Campus) >>
UHS (University Health Services >>
Dane County Rape Crisis Center >>
UWPD “You Can Tell Us” >>

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:10 pm
by Fat Cat
"It is NEVER a victim’s fault if they find themselves targeted in any crime. Ever."

Bullshit.

One of my tenants, a 27 year old girl, just had her place broken into. She is a whore who has a different guy over to her place (at least) each week. One of them cased the place while he was there, busted back in when he knew she wouldn't be around, and stole her valuables without even ransacking the place. Sorry slut, but if you didn't have the fucking parade of homes with every swinging dick in this town, you wouldn't be in this mess. It's your fault you drunken, messy twat.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:14 pm
by buckethead
I didn't know whoring was illegal in Hawaii. Or do you mean actually a prostitute?

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:47 pm
by Fat Cat
Truthfully, I don't think she's smart enough to realize a return on dat pussy.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2014 11:53 pm
by DARTH

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:02 am
by DARTH
syaigh wrote:I read in the comments some person saying that we wouldn't blame our kids for getting their toy taken away from them from another kid because they were playing with it in plain sight. Well, if they left it sitting on a park bench unattended, I sure as hell would blame them. I'd still try and get it back and shame on the kid who took it

.
Awe my oldest left his Nintendo DS on the picnic table around a group of Mexiduarnadors and that happened.

He was shocked when I went off on him for being so stupid as to leave his gamebox around a bunch of kids from the hood a step or two down on the ladder from ours. I also told him here was proof that the BS shit he is taught in school ( by many who fit the type of dimwitted, vapid hole this thread is about) about everyone being the same and basically good will get you fucked over or worse.

Also how he now created a situation for all of us, as I went to these kid's house and they all hid inside while some invader pretended not to understand me.

And then the cop ( who I know) who got it back for him gave him a little lecture as well, pretty much what I told him.

Live and learn, best to learn it over a Nintendo than something important.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:36 am
by DrDonkeyLove
DARTH wrote:
syaigh wrote:I read in the comments some person saying that we wouldn't blame our kids for getting their toy taken away from them from another kid because they were playing with it in plain sight. Well, if they left it sitting on a park bench unattended, I sure as hell would blame them. I'd still try and get it back and shame on the kid who took it

.
Awe my oldest left his Nintendo DS on the picnic table around a group of Mexiduarnadors and that happened.

He was shocked when I went off on him for being so stupid as to leave his gamebox around a bunch of kids from the hood a step or two down on the ladder from ours. I also told him here was proof that the BS shit he is taught in school ( by many who fit the type of dimwitted, vapid hole this thread is about) about everyone being the same and basically good will get you fucked over or worse.

Also how he now created a situation for all of us, as I went to these kid's house and they all hid inside while some invader pretended not to understand me.

And then the cop ( who I know) who got it back for him gave him a little lecture as well, pretty much what I told him.

Live and learn, best to learn it over a Nintendo than something important.
Society should have taught those kids not to steal. We're all complicit.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:58 am
by terra
As a motorcyclist, if I took the attitude that "I expect everyone to uphold the road rules at all times", i'd be dead in a week...
Actually less than a week because at least twice a week someone does something that could very easily have caused me damage, if I wasn't taking precautions. For the most part i've even stopped getting angry at them.

In fact, did you know that if a vehicle causes me to crash when I have "the right of way". I can still be fined for "Entering an intersection in a dangerous manner"... This doesn't mean I broke any road rule.
It means, "Yes the other driver was a fuckwit and caused the crash, but this situation required a level of caution that you weren't prudent enough to show".

Fortunately there are safe/safer places where, now and then, I can "flaunt" the enjoyable aspects of being a motorcyclist... But there are a lot of places where being a motorcyclist means I need to take extra care. It isn't an acceptable situation.
Neither is the situation where any non-motorcycling woman/man has to run the gauntlet of physical (or emotional) danger.
But here and now, it's the reality - so ride accordingly.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:14 pm
by Blaidd Drwg
terra wrote:As a motorcyclist, if I took the attitude that "I expect everyone to uphold the road rules at all times", i'd be dead in a week...
Actually less than a week because at least twice a week someone does something that could very easily have caused me damage, if I wasn't taking precautions. For the most part i've even stopped getting angry at them.

In fact, did you know that if a vehicle causes me to crash when I have "the right of way". I can still be fined for "Entering an intersection in a dangerous manner"... This doesn't mean I broke any road rule.
It means, "Yes the other driver was a fuckwit and caused the crash, but this situation required a level of caution that you weren't prudent enough to show".

Fortunately there are safe/safer places where, now and then, I can "flaunt" the enjoyable aspects of being a motorcyclist... But there are a lot of places where being a motorcyclist means I need to take extra care. It isn't an acceptable situation.
Neither is the situation where any non-motorcycling woman/man has to run the gauntlet of physical (or emotional) danger.
But here and now, it's the reality - so ride accordingly.
Well done.

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:29 pm
by Shafpocalypse Now
Truth. Houston is a terrible place for motorcycles. When I get one, I doubt I'll ever ride in the city

Re: Ladies, is this really offensive?

Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2014 6:33 pm
by Pinky
dead man walking wrote:
Ed Zachary wrote:The . . . culture . . . believe . . . we should just teach men not to rape.
my niece, a freshwoman in college in nyc, said this recently.
I can't decide if the ideologues who teach this shit to kids hate men or women more.