IGX

Believe me I've tried a lot of different tissues over the years. I've also used leaves, a sock, my own underwear, the Hawaii/Alaska combo map page from the road atlas since I probably wasn't going to be driving there, a cottontail, somebody's towel, a chick's pillowcase that I put back on the pillow and turned upsidedown, and I think a poor little kitten when I was pretty drunk one time. But I ain't even bullshittin' when I tell you this fuckin' Cottonelle is the best thing out there for serious asswipin'. Explosive diarrhea? Cottonelle laughs at this. Extreme choco-fudgy duece? Cottonelle is yawning at this. And even though Cottonelle is one-ply there's no worry of breakthrough because of it's special weave that makes it stronger than most two-ply products!! So some of you may be sayin', "yo Shape, I ain't all into shit-paper science and shit...what the fuck does two-ply even mean?" Relax my low-T brothers...just know that Cottonelle is at the foward edge of the battle area in insuring you have a clean asshole. I have it on good authority that SEAL Team 6 uses Cottonelle...isn't that endorsment enough?

http://www.cottonelle.com/product_cottonelle.aspx

I'm a Charmin man. Doesn't matter if it's extra strong or extra soft. I'm a Charmin man.

I follow that up with a flushable wet wipe. If you haven't done this, you have no idea how much shit is still in your ass after you get a clean dry wipe

Most definitely agree on the use of a wet wipe but this thread wasn't initially about proper ass wiping technique. Perhaps an article comrade?

You don't need an article, O People's Camper. You need wet wipe.

Screw TP. All Wet Wipes. The Fresh Prince agrees.

Will Smith Doesn't Use Toilet Paper

Captain Quack wrote:Screw TP. All Wet Wipes. The Fresh Prince agrees.

Will Smith Doesn't Use Toilet Paper

Is that why they call him The Fresh Prince?

When forward deployed my shipping container/living quarters had one of these, sans ceramic tiling. The bomb. Sometimes you find your self freshening up for no reason at all.

nafod wrote:When forward deployed my shipping container/living quarters had one of these, sans ceramic tiling. The bomb. Sometimes you find your self freshening up for no reason at all.

Actually, from the cloth diaper days, we still have something very like that hooked up in the guest bathroom. I'll have to give it a shot, as I haven't yet.

By the way, GDG! Here's your clappy:

Use some pages from this:



Guaranteed to scare liquid shit solid for months.

The Unflushable DEATHTURD wrote:Use some pages from this:



Guaranteed to scare liquid shit solid for months.

Won't work. I don't take shit off of anyone.

Wet wipes are the shit. Used the extra from the wee laddies.

If I sense it's a particularly waxy turd I'll often not bother wiping at all. On a warm summer's day this can be considered recklessly risky behaviour.

regarding the hose thingy: my BIL said that when he was working in Saudi Arabia there were usually just porcelain rings on the floor (squat toilets) and no paper, just the kitchen sink sprayer attachment. I asked what they did about drying off and he said "You see a lot of people walking around with wet spots."

Other folks who worked there- confirm or deny? Seems drippy.

GoDogGo! wrote:regarding the hose thingy: my BIL said that when he was working in Saudi Arabia there were usually just porcelain rings on the floor (squat toilets) and no paper, just the kitchen sink sprayer attachment. I asked what they did about drying off and he said "You see a lot of people walking around with wet spots."

Other folks who worked there- confirm or deny? Seems drippy.

I saw many of them but, fortunately, found western style plumbing when necessary. The deal is that it's pretty easy for a guy in a robe and sandals to hike up his robe, get down to business and hose off. Not so convenient for a westerner wearing shoes, socks, pants, and underwear.

You go into those squat shitters and they often look like someone just took a shower in there because they are so wet. There may be techniques to easily take a comfortable dump in western garb but I never learned them. Sure as hell can't read the newspaper in there.

DrDonkeyLove wrote: You go into those squat shitters and they often look like someone just took a shower in there because they are so wet. There may be techniques to easily take a comfortable dump in western garb but I never learned them. Sure as hell can't read the newspaper in there.

Yeah, he said that they were all swamps.

you people disgust me

Like wiping your ass with a cloud:

While at work I normally just grab four paper towels and wet them in the sink before I hit the stall. They're a little rougher than the wet wipes but still much better than dry wiping which is really fuckin gross when you think about it.