It's about 4 minutes and worth hearing. I assume everyone on this board is covered by his recommendations, but family members, friends may not be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk_tUQS ... =ThinkZone
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Moderator: Dux
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
He only gives one recommendation, which is exercise.
Says it by far has the biggest impact on Alzheimer’s protection. The largest benefit is found from going from nothing to something, with increased (but diminishing returns) past the point of say three brisk hour-long walks a week.
I have a number of people in my family whose only exercise is an occasional short, slow walk. It’s hard to remember, but this video helps, that even that small amount has it’s benefits.
Says it by far has the biggest impact on Alzheimer’s protection. The largest benefit is found from going from nothing to something, with increased (but diminishing returns) past the point of say three brisk hour-long walks a week.
I have a number of people in my family whose only exercise is an occasional short, slow walk. It’s hard to remember, but this video helps, that even that small amount has it’s benefits.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Bram
If you read his book Outlive or listen to his numerous videos, he gives precise recommendations for exercise. You can sign up at PeterAttiamd.com and get 5 free emails with interesting information on his take about health and longevity. You can receive other emails for free or become a paid member which I did. I don't know if I'll renew it. He has very interesting podcast guests, most of which are on youtube. Sometimes, the issues raised are very technical. I have learned a lot and changed my training program to include more cardio because of it but don't use his protocols for what he calls zone 2 and zone 5. I realized heart rate recovery after workouts are really important so I do different breathing exercises for 5 or so minutes to get my heart rate down. I also test it occasionally after raising it to 90% of my max heart rate for a minute with a minute recovery. From what was said on one podcast (I don't remember where it is) a 50 year old male should be able to lower it 23 beats. Mine was 19 beats less and I'm 74, so it's probably good enough for now. I want to improve it.
I also added in kettlebell swings and jumping with weights for power development because we lose type 2 fast twitch muscle fibers as we age. I remember Pavel saying that power goes up for a long time with strength increases. That may very well be true for much younger people but not for my age according to Attia and his team who analyze data. I used to do power cleans. I read that 80% of the benefit can be gained by just jumping with weights. I don't know how true it is, but it's good enough for me at this stage of my life. It's not worth another injury. There's a lot more I could say, but I'll stop here.
If you read his book Outlive or listen to his numerous videos, he gives precise recommendations for exercise. You can sign up at PeterAttiamd.com and get 5 free emails with interesting information on his take about health and longevity. You can receive other emails for free or become a paid member which I did. I don't know if I'll renew it. He has very interesting podcast guests, most of which are on youtube. Sometimes, the issues raised are very technical. I have learned a lot and changed my training program to include more cardio because of it but don't use his protocols for what he calls zone 2 and zone 5. I realized heart rate recovery after workouts are really important so I do different breathing exercises for 5 or so minutes to get my heart rate down. I also test it occasionally after raising it to 90% of my max heart rate for a minute with a minute recovery. From what was said on one podcast (I don't remember where it is) a 50 year old male should be able to lower it 23 beats. Mine was 19 beats less and I'm 74, so it's probably good enough for now. I want to improve it.
I also added in kettlebell swings and jumping with weights for power development because we lose type 2 fast twitch muscle fibers as we age. I remember Pavel saying that power goes up for a long time with strength increases. That may very well be true for much younger people but not for my age according to Attia and his team who analyze data. I used to do power cleans. I read that 80% of the benefit can be gained by just jumping with weights. I don't know how true it is, but it's good enough for me at this stage of my life. It's not worth another injury. There's a lot more I could say, but I'll stop here.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
I had a copy of Outlive from the library and glanced through it a bit before I had to return it.
At this stage — 30 years of continual fitness training and paying attention to eating habits — I feel generally satisfied with my approach:
* Eat a variety of good foods for most meals. Eat low-quality foods and alcohol in small amounts.
* Do flexibility work before and after exercise. People hate on static stretching, but it’s never caused any noticeable problems and not doing it has.
* Strength train with a variety of exercises. If healthy, also do some plyometric work.
* Regularly participate in an athletic activity I enjoy.
* If I can’t do that last one — let’s say I want to surf, but there’s no waves — do random stuff: run, bike ride, rock climb, yoga.
There’s other stuff I could do. For example, there isn’t any consistent Zone 2 cardio in my approach. But I’m active, happy, and healthy. I don’t know that those markers could all rise by making changes.
At this stage — 30 years of continual fitness training and paying attention to eating habits — I feel generally satisfied with my approach:
* Eat a variety of good foods for most meals. Eat low-quality foods and alcohol in small amounts.
* Do flexibility work before and after exercise. People hate on static stretching, but it’s never caused any noticeable problems and not doing it has.
* Strength train with a variety of exercises. If healthy, also do some plyometric work.
* Regularly participate in an athletic activity I enjoy.
* If I can’t do that last one — let’s say I want to surf, but there’s no waves — do random stuff: run, bike ride, rock climb, yoga.
There’s other stuff I could do. For example, there isn’t any consistent Zone 2 cardio in my approach. But I’m active, happy, and healthy. I don’t know that those markers could all rise by making changes.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
What you're doing works so keep it up. The body changes whether you like it or not. If I were you, I wouldn't change your program, and hopefully you'll live a long healthy life. I like cardio more than the lifting, but if I don't lift the consequences are dreadful. My advice is over the decades keep active and pay attention to your body, mind, emotions, spirit, which you're now doing. I changed what I was doing because of Attia. I don't mind. I surfed the other day for the first time in a year. I can't believe how terrible I was but I did ride one wave. I was so beaten up, but the next day I was more or less OK which I attribute to my training program. I actually am relearning to pop up from youtube videos, which I was doing wrong for years. A year ago, I didn't have the mobility to do so. After all the work I put in, I can to my disbelief. I skateboarded yesterday with a cold for the first time in ten weeks and it was great. My issue is sleep and mental health which I'm working on. Nobody gets close to what they want in life.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
That’s great you caught a wave and had fun skateboarding!
What do you think is holding you back the most from a good night’s sleep and having robust mental health?
What do you think is holding you back the most from a good night’s sleep and having robust mental health?
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Sleep problems are due to several factors.
1 Too frequent urination at night. I could get back to sleep after the second time but not the third. There were times I'd urinate a lot more than that. It happens to a lot of guys my age probably due to an enlarged prostate which I have. I was drinking too much apparently. Andy Galpin, a professor and strength coach at Cal State Fullerton, said to weigh yourself before bed and after urinating upon waking. If you weigh about a pound less then you are dehydrated. I forget when overhydration starts but I was weighing 4.4 pounds less which is way overhydrated. I cut back on the water and have started to sleep recently 7 hours some nights recently which is good enough.
2 It was way too hot in this apartment. It's in the 90s and I'd wake up sweating and take a shower after 4 hours of sleep and couldn't back to sleep. I hate a/c. I got a fan which helped for a while. Then a desert cooler which is good enough most nights at least recently.
3. Mental health problems. I no longer look at the internet or watch a movie an hour before bed (between 8-9), but the last few months my mental health has been pretty bad.
2. Mental health problems are very numerous.
I am extremely socially isolated for a lot of reasons I won't go into. I separated from my wife 6 years ago (still married, see her once a week, thought about divorce but won't) and moved to the coast to surf. I never made friends here. I had a lot of friends in this country but a lot happened I won't go into and I don't have friends here now. I really tried to be a friend to people. There are 2 friends in America I talk to but the one who fell on his head and was expected to die can't talk and was really incoherent when I called a few weeks ago. I've known him since 1967 and talked to him once a week. That he's alive is a miracle.
Childhood issues are really numerous from PTSD which I don't suffer from the way I once did. I also suffer poor impulse control and prone to rage. The last few months I've had a lot of blowups. I am starting to meditate again (never stopped about 20 minutes of morning chi gung breathing which is a meditation but I need to do a lot more to calm myself during the day. I'm starting to work on it.
I have 2 adult children who suffer from depression. I haven't seen or talked to them in years and don't know if I ever will. To start to explain why is a long story and is too painful to go into.
Deep regrets over a number of issues. I did a lot of excellent work but couldn't develop any of what I studied into full time careers
MA in psychology, Feldenkrais practitioner where I helped a lot of people with all kinds of injuries and then became a personal trainer in my early 60s.
I could have been a millionaire if I had stayed in the business world. This was in the 1970s when a million dollars went a lot further than today. It's the equivalent of about 4.5 million with inflation today. I don't regret it. I'm not materialistic. I know people who lost a lot of money and had nothing to show for it. I at least use what I learn to be able to surf, skateboard etc. According to Dr Attia if you lose 3 months of training at my age, you don't get it back. I'm stronger in my upper body than I ever was. I'll never be as strong in my lower body because I don't barbell back squat any more and doubt I'll ever deadlift from the floor again. I don't need it. I'm strong enough for what I need.
My age really bothers me. The crazy thing is I don't feel old physically old but do mentally a lot of times. I have to let go of it and am trying to accept I lived this long, best friends are dead, and just be here now and make the best of what's ever left. I can't go back into the past and start over. I'm trying to start over in this moment but it sure is hard especially after having written all this.
Bram you seem like a really kind caring person or I wouldn't have written this.
1 Too frequent urination at night. I could get back to sleep after the second time but not the third. There were times I'd urinate a lot more than that. It happens to a lot of guys my age probably due to an enlarged prostate which I have. I was drinking too much apparently. Andy Galpin, a professor and strength coach at Cal State Fullerton, said to weigh yourself before bed and after urinating upon waking. If you weigh about a pound less then you are dehydrated. I forget when overhydration starts but I was weighing 4.4 pounds less which is way overhydrated. I cut back on the water and have started to sleep recently 7 hours some nights recently which is good enough.
2 It was way too hot in this apartment. It's in the 90s and I'd wake up sweating and take a shower after 4 hours of sleep and couldn't back to sleep. I hate a/c. I got a fan which helped for a while. Then a desert cooler which is good enough most nights at least recently.
3. Mental health problems. I no longer look at the internet or watch a movie an hour before bed (between 8-9), but the last few months my mental health has been pretty bad.
2. Mental health problems are very numerous.
I am extremely socially isolated for a lot of reasons I won't go into. I separated from my wife 6 years ago (still married, see her once a week, thought about divorce but won't) and moved to the coast to surf. I never made friends here. I had a lot of friends in this country but a lot happened I won't go into and I don't have friends here now. I really tried to be a friend to people. There are 2 friends in America I talk to but the one who fell on his head and was expected to die can't talk and was really incoherent when I called a few weeks ago. I've known him since 1967 and talked to him once a week. That he's alive is a miracle.
Childhood issues are really numerous from PTSD which I don't suffer from the way I once did. I also suffer poor impulse control and prone to rage. The last few months I've had a lot of blowups. I am starting to meditate again (never stopped about 20 minutes of morning chi gung breathing which is a meditation but I need to do a lot more to calm myself during the day. I'm starting to work on it.
I have 2 adult children who suffer from depression. I haven't seen or talked to them in years and don't know if I ever will. To start to explain why is a long story and is too painful to go into.
Deep regrets over a number of issues. I did a lot of excellent work but couldn't develop any of what I studied into full time careers
MA in psychology, Feldenkrais practitioner where I helped a lot of people with all kinds of injuries and then became a personal trainer in my early 60s.
I could have been a millionaire if I had stayed in the business world. This was in the 1970s when a million dollars went a lot further than today. It's the equivalent of about 4.5 million with inflation today. I don't regret it. I'm not materialistic. I know people who lost a lot of money and had nothing to show for it. I at least use what I learn to be able to surf, skateboard etc. According to Dr Attia if you lose 3 months of training at my age, you don't get it back. I'm stronger in my upper body than I ever was. I'll never be as strong in my lower body because I don't barbell back squat any more and doubt I'll ever deadlift from the floor again. I don't need it. I'm strong enough for what I need.
My age really bothers me. The crazy thing is I don't feel old physically old but do mentally a lot of times. I have to let go of it and am trying to accept I lived this long, best friends are dead, and just be here now and make the best of what's ever left. I can't go back into the past and start over. I'm trying to start over in this moment but it sure is hard especially after having written all this.
Bram you seem like a really kind caring person or I wouldn't have written this.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Another deep regret I'm trying to let go of. I started a spiritual quest in 1970. I don't know if I'm a spiritual seeker any more. I had some very deep visions (not from drugs) of total love and experiencing the Divine (that's what I called it. Maybe it was just my neurons firing in a particular pattern and nothing more.). The Eastern path didn't work for me. I became a religious Jew, which I had rejected as a teenager, and was seeking the Jewish mystical path for 8 years. It was a disaster for my mental health. and really weakened me. I never found what I was looking for. I tried to drop the whole thing a number of times but couldn't. I wasn't doing any physical training or sports in those years which I now know but didn't realize then are really essential for my mental health. Secular culture at the time seemed really empty so that wasn't an option. Only after I got married did I begin to let go of religious Judaism which to this day still can have a negative impact on me so I try to avoid it but that's impossible in Israel with all these holidays coming up like Jewish New Year etc.. There are people who leave the country to get away from them. I'll see how it goes this year. Last year I was really bothered by the whole thing with a lot of bad memories I couldn't let go of haunting me.
The crazy thing is the experiences I wanted and couldn't even after 8 years, I can actually have now within a minute or two if I meditate on them. They don't last very long because I'm not that interested any more to continue past maybe 5 minutes. They are only experiences. Really amazing in a way, but they don't mean much to me at this point. I've read about people who have been on the Eastern path - Buddhism, yoga, etc. and other paths for 35-50 years and are considered some of the best Western teachers and they're still fucked up with plenty of emotional problems. Because they don't physically train properly they'll have plenty of health problems. I might also. There are no guarantees. Maybe there are some people in this world who can transcend the body and be dispassionate about illnesses like cancer but these Western teachers complain. I used to believe there was some kind of permanent state of enlightenment but I don't believe that's possible any more. I'm certainly not looking for it.
My conclusion about the spiritual path is to try my best to be kind, helpful, tolerant. I say hi to people who work in supermarkets, people on the street. We can have a few second connection. Some of them appreciate it. They smile. It's a good thing.
The crazy thing is the experiences I wanted and couldn't even after 8 years, I can actually have now within a minute or two if I meditate on them. They don't last very long because I'm not that interested any more to continue past maybe 5 minutes. They are only experiences. Really amazing in a way, but they don't mean much to me at this point. I've read about people who have been on the Eastern path - Buddhism, yoga, etc. and other paths for 35-50 years and are considered some of the best Western teachers and they're still fucked up with plenty of emotional problems. Because they don't physically train properly they'll have plenty of health problems. I might also. There are no guarantees. Maybe there are some people in this world who can transcend the body and be dispassionate about illnesses like cancer but these Western teachers complain. I used to believe there was some kind of permanent state of enlightenment but I don't believe that's possible any more. I'm certainly not looking for it.
My conclusion about the spiritual path is to try my best to be kind, helpful, tolerant. I say hi to people who work in supermarkets, people on the street. We can have a few second connection. Some of them appreciate it. They smile. It's a good thing.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Lenny, thanks for your honesty and openness!
Yesterday, I listened to a podcast with Kai Lenny and he was saying he does an ice bath before bed due to the sleep benefits. You’ve probably tried something similar, but it’s a novel idea for me. Will give it a go (or at least a cold shower) this week.
The Andy Galpin pre-post urination weight is a great idea! I’ll share with my clients who have that issue.
Mental health is so tough! Nearly everyone I know seems to openly admit, regularly, how difficult life can feel — and this is from total strangers, up to friends and family.
I’m gonna share a few things that have truly helped me, in hopes one might resonate:
1) My mom died at 42 from cancer. I’m 44. I often catch myself thinking that today is a gift. It pops me into the present and turns my attention towards doing something kind or enjoying a beautiful moment.
2) I had PTSD from a scary surf event four years ago. At first, I couldn’t even look at the ocean without wanting to throw up. But a psychologist client did an EMDR session on me and it completely eliminated the PTSD.
3) Whether or not they’re reasonable, and people tell me often they are not, I have big goals. For example, I want to blast a turn on a surfboard at age 100. It seems reasonable to me. Making it to age 100 does not light a fire in my choices. But thriving at 100 does.
4) I forgave everyone in my life. It doesn’t mean, for example, I’m going to loan certain people money. But I don’t think about them in a loathing, revenging, or regretful way.
5) I’ve worked very hard on my internal coaching voice, how I talk to myself when I encounter adversity. This is an ongoing process. Yesterday, I was getting hammered in big surf, paddling like mad, and making no progress. And I only had about fifteen minutes left before I had to go. So I laughed at myself, because I know that helps. Got back out and caught a big wave. You will always have the voice in your head, and you can sculpt it to bring out your absolute best. Looking forwards to growing on this one!
You clearly have a kind, caring heart Lenny. It’s evident in all your posts here. Best of luck and keep shredding!
Yesterday, I listened to a podcast with Kai Lenny and he was saying he does an ice bath before bed due to the sleep benefits. You’ve probably tried something similar, but it’s a novel idea for me. Will give it a go (or at least a cold shower) this week.
The Andy Galpin pre-post urination weight is a great idea! I’ll share with my clients who have that issue.
Mental health is so tough! Nearly everyone I know seems to openly admit, regularly, how difficult life can feel — and this is from total strangers, up to friends and family.
I’m gonna share a few things that have truly helped me, in hopes one might resonate:
1) My mom died at 42 from cancer. I’m 44. I often catch myself thinking that today is a gift. It pops me into the present and turns my attention towards doing something kind or enjoying a beautiful moment.
2) I had PTSD from a scary surf event four years ago. At first, I couldn’t even look at the ocean without wanting to throw up. But a psychologist client did an EMDR session on me and it completely eliminated the PTSD.
3) Whether or not they’re reasonable, and people tell me often they are not, I have big goals. For example, I want to blast a turn on a surfboard at age 100. It seems reasonable to me. Making it to age 100 does not light a fire in my choices. But thriving at 100 does.
4) I forgave everyone in my life. It doesn’t mean, for example, I’m going to loan certain people money. But I don’t think about them in a loathing, revenging, or regretful way.
5) I’ve worked very hard on my internal coaching voice, how I talk to myself when I encounter adversity. This is an ongoing process. Yesterday, I was getting hammered in big surf, paddling like mad, and making no progress. And I only had about fifteen minutes left before I had to go. So I laughed at myself, because I know that helps. Got back out and caught a big wave. You will always have the voice in your head, and you can sculpt it to bring out your absolute best. Looking forwards to growing on this one!
You clearly have a kind, caring heart Lenny. It’s evident in all your posts here. Best of luck and keep shredding!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Bram
You're doing a lot better than me in the forgiveness department. My mother was sadistic, narcissistic, and a highly manipulative multiple personality and used me as an emotional support. She didn't love me, but I sure tried to get it from her to no avail. When she died at the age of 95, five years ago, I said if there is an afterlife, I don't want her punished on my account. I don't forgive her and doubt I ever will, although I don't think about her much. I didn't understand the damage done to my psyche by my parents until I had kids, which is why I can’t forgive her. If I was the only one who suffered, it would be a lot easier. Very unfortunately, they did from me.
I had a girlfriend with two very young kids - aged 2 and 5. We were living together on and off for a year, and I spent a lot of time with them alone while she was out. I didn't have any of the kind of anxiety I had with mine, or I would have never agreed to have children. To be honest, after the first Gulf War when Israel endured missile attacks, I thought the world was too sick to bring children into. My wife differed. She was 32 and we'd been together four years and felt I owed it to her. I didn't know if she could find someone else and would have never forgiven myself for not fathering her children. But if I had known the damage it was going to wreak on them and me, I'd never have gotten married in the first place.
I never hit my kids and helped raise them from infancy. I tried so hard to shield them from my rages, depression. I'd go into my room when depressed. Five trauma therapists said I did a good job including one who said he'd seen so many people have their kids taken away with what I had inside. He told me you probably wanted to hit them hundreds of times and didn't. It was a lot more than that. Nobody of my generation talked back to their fathers. My kids did, and my wife who was basically raised without a father from the age of 4 always supported them. I was really too old to be a father of little kids not because of my physical condition which was fine. The first was born when I was 42 and the second when I was 46. That's too many generations different especially in this culture which is very brusque and at times quite arrogant. My therapist even saw them once as teenagers. He had told me I had done well as a parent before that. Well they got traumatized by me. They also learned a lot of great stuff I won't enumerate here.
My PTSD came from probably at least 1,000 childhood traumatic events starting really early. I was sure my father would physically kill me at some point with his violent explosive temper, but he didn't for better or worse.
I don't feel today is a gift although I'm trying to be more in the present moment. It is another day. I try to do my best. If it ends tonight I'm fine with it.
I hope you keep growing. I've been my own worst enemy and critic during this life. It didn't help being shamed over and over for years by my parents. It's my life. I take responsibility for it now. What’s done is done. I'm trying to be better. I learned everything passes including bad mood, psychotic episodes, anxiety attacks, and deep depression. What put me into the psyche ward at Columbia in 1967 - ego loss (I had no idea who I was,) time disorientation (a minute seemed like an hour and vice versa,) complete culture shock, poor sleep due to staying up all night talking to people, even not recognizing my tennis racket after having played for years, I can now drive a car in that state if I have to. I also learned that I can sleep it off or at worst take a tranquilizer and I'll calm down. If I had known that then, I wouldn't have gone to the psyche ward where I got no treatment and left after 3 days and was fine. You get what you get in life and you deal with it, but I sure wish I hadn't damaged my kids.
I contributed somewhat to their biological depressions, but not all that much. There is significant mental illness in my and my wife's family. My son was bullied in elementary school for six years where he was the only white kid in his class here. He did a lot of strength training. Once I asked him if he got stronger. He said yeah. I asked how he knew. He said, "When they hit me in the stomach it doesn't hurt any more." He was laughed at for reading books on the bus. We tried to get him into other schools but couldn't. There was a lot of terrorism in those years and his was very safe. It also didn't help that as a 7 year old, he saw his sister almost die from cancer.
While my daughter was in the cancer ward, his teacher called and said, "On a class trip, all the kids were running wild. Your son was sitting cross legged meditating," which he learned from me. He was teaching me chi gung breathing meditation about that time after I taught him. Our family situation is a real heartbreak. My life has been so chaotic and unpredictable who knows what can happen. I try not to think about it, but I really despair at times.
You're doing a lot better than me in the forgiveness department. My mother was sadistic, narcissistic, and a highly manipulative multiple personality and used me as an emotional support. She didn't love me, but I sure tried to get it from her to no avail. When she died at the age of 95, five years ago, I said if there is an afterlife, I don't want her punished on my account. I don't forgive her and doubt I ever will, although I don't think about her much. I didn't understand the damage done to my psyche by my parents until I had kids, which is why I can’t forgive her. If I was the only one who suffered, it would be a lot easier. Very unfortunately, they did from me.
I had a girlfriend with two very young kids - aged 2 and 5. We were living together on and off for a year, and I spent a lot of time with them alone while she was out. I didn't have any of the kind of anxiety I had with mine, or I would have never agreed to have children. To be honest, after the first Gulf War when Israel endured missile attacks, I thought the world was too sick to bring children into. My wife differed. She was 32 and we'd been together four years and felt I owed it to her. I didn't know if she could find someone else and would have never forgiven myself for not fathering her children. But if I had known the damage it was going to wreak on them and me, I'd never have gotten married in the first place.
I never hit my kids and helped raise them from infancy. I tried so hard to shield them from my rages, depression. I'd go into my room when depressed. Five trauma therapists said I did a good job including one who said he'd seen so many people have their kids taken away with what I had inside. He told me you probably wanted to hit them hundreds of times and didn't. It was a lot more than that. Nobody of my generation talked back to their fathers. My kids did, and my wife who was basically raised without a father from the age of 4 always supported them. I was really too old to be a father of little kids not because of my physical condition which was fine. The first was born when I was 42 and the second when I was 46. That's too many generations different especially in this culture which is very brusque and at times quite arrogant. My therapist even saw them once as teenagers. He had told me I had done well as a parent before that. Well they got traumatized by me. They also learned a lot of great stuff I won't enumerate here.
My PTSD came from probably at least 1,000 childhood traumatic events starting really early. I was sure my father would physically kill me at some point with his violent explosive temper, but he didn't for better or worse.
I don't feel today is a gift although I'm trying to be more in the present moment. It is another day. I try to do my best. If it ends tonight I'm fine with it.
I hope you keep growing. I've been my own worst enemy and critic during this life. It didn't help being shamed over and over for years by my parents. It's my life. I take responsibility for it now. What’s done is done. I'm trying to be better. I learned everything passes including bad mood, psychotic episodes, anxiety attacks, and deep depression. What put me into the psyche ward at Columbia in 1967 - ego loss (I had no idea who I was,) time disorientation (a minute seemed like an hour and vice versa,) complete culture shock, poor sleep due to staying up all night talking to people, even not recognizing my tennis racket after having played for years, I can now drive a car in that state if I have to. I also learned that I can sleep it off or at worst take a tranquilizer and I'll calm down. If I had known that then, I wouldn't have gone to the psyche ward where I got no treatment and left after 3 days and was fine. You get what you get in life and you deal with it, but I sure wish I hadn't damaged my kids.
I contributed somewhat to their biological depressions, but not all that much. There is significant mental illness in my and my wife's family. My son was bullied in elementary school for six years where he was the only white kid in his class here. He did a lot of strength training. Once I asked him if he got stronger. He said yeah. I asked how he knew. He said, "When they hit me in the stomach it doesn't hurt any more." He was laughed at for reading books on the bus. We tried to get him into other schools but couldn't. There was a lot of terrorism in those years and his was very safe. It also didn't help that as a 7 year old, he saw his sister almost die from cancer.
While my daughter was in the cancer ward, his teacher called and said, "On a class trip, all the kids were running wild. Your son was sitting cross legged meditating," which he learned from me. He was teaching me chi gung breathing meditation about that time after I taught him. Our family situation is a real heartbreak. My life has been so chaotic and unpredictable who knows what can happen. I try not to think about it, but I really despair at times.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
I was my son's personal trainer. I love him more than anybody, which is why it hurts so much. I wanted a close family and the opposite of the one I grew up in. We were a close family for a lot of years. After the cancer, it got really rough when they hit adolescence. Without warning, one day when he was probably 17, he told my wife to kick me out of the house. Neither I nor my wife knew anything was wrong, but somehow our daughter did, but she didn't give any details. I was forced out, which was for the best. That's life.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
What were some of the things your kids learned that you were proud of? Teaching them about meditation and exercise is awesome :)
Forgiveness is a weird one. It’s not about right or wrong or justice or fairness. It’s more like returning a library book you don’t want any more. “Nope, not gonna waste time on that anymore.”
Forgiveness is a weird one. It’s not about right or wrong or justice or fairness. It’s more like returning a library book you don’t want any more. “Nope, not gonna waste time on that anymore.”
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Bram I just saw that you had posted this now. I taught my children while they were in elementary school a lot of other things including some very interesting techniques on how to let go of difficult emotions by doing something as simple as putting their hand on their stomachs and feeling the breathing. My son learned the most of the emotional releases through all kinds of techniques I learned from another Feldenkrais teacher such as feeling the breath, space in all 3 dimensions around you and your feet on the ground. There were a lot of these kinds of techniques.
Both of them were doing strength training at early ages. My daughter didn't want to continue. My son started probably at 5 or 6 with light dumbbells from a book I got about strength training for kids. He later was doing a version of starting strength at 11. He got up to more than a bodyweight barbell back squat for 3 sets of 5 and was deadlifting about 1.4 times his bodyweight on the deadlift for 5 reps. I forgot exactly what happened that he stopped. I stopped and got into Wendler’s 531 for the barbell back squat and the deadlift. We were also doing a lot with gymnastic rings and other exercises from Christopher Sommer (the former USA national junior gymnastic team coach) from his DVDs and book Building the Gymnastic Body. He was able to do a good muscle up. I forgot exactly why he stopped. I never said they had to do any of this. My son was very interested.
One time he couldn't do a headstand that they were learning in elementary school. Since I'm a Feldenkrais teacher I had a way I had learned that I taught him in about 15 minutes. I bought a stability ball when the kids were really young (he was probably 4, she was 8) and they’d have fun rolling on it, sticking it between doorways and standing up on it etc.. One day unbeknownst to me, when I was out, my wife’s cousin was at the house when I was out and asked if he could stand on it. I’d never have allowed it. Our house had a slick stone file and I’d have thought he could break his skull. He did it pretty easily and I came home and was in shock to see him. The video is one he made of himself (he learned the software a couple hours on his own) and learned to put on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwu7O_4 ... aronferari
One thing he did that completely astounded me was after a brief Feldenkrais lesson about how to come from standing easily from a lunge position, he got on the ball with his eyes closed, stood on it, and came down to the ground the way you see in the video all with his eyes closed, a few times before I realized it. I told him not to do that again. We got all kinds of balance boards we both used. He learned karate and progressed pretty quickly. From all the chin-ups he told me he got up to the high 20s in a test in high school.
He was amazing in some ways. He was a camp counselor at horse back riding camp in charge of younger kids at the age of 11 which is astounding given the lack of discipline most kids grow up with in this country. I wasn’t like that with him. I didn’t think I was too hard but he learned to be polite and take responsibility. When my daughter was in the cancer ward, his class went on a trip to a bakery. His teacher called my wife to say all the kids were running around totally wild while your son was sitting cross legged with his eyes closed meditating. He was still in horse back riding camp at the age of 7 when she was in the cancer ward. One teacher said your son rides beautifully.
One time he couldn't do a headstand that they were learning in elementary school. Since I'm a Feldenkrais teacher I had a way I had learned that I taught him in about 15 minutes. Another time he did something to himself on the ball and got into a terrible back spasm probably at the age of about ten. He was totally bent over and in a lot of pain. I had a bad flu and was really sick and worked on him while he was in a chair for about 15 minutes (all I could do) and released a lot of pain but he was still suffering. The next day still sick, I had him do a number of movements from the Feldenkrais method that would have been impossible for most adults. I was so out of it I taught it wrong with the lower back rotated one way and the upper back rotated completely opposite while in an awkward position sitting on the floor with one hand in back for support until I realized it and corrected it so the whole spine rotated in one direction and at the end of 15 minutes he was fine.
I didn’t say that at probably 11 he was teaching me a chi gung breathing meditation he had learned from me. I also had enormous faith in him and said, “Never strain to see the blackboard or focus on the teacher if you get bored or tired, you will end up needing glasses. Space out, look out the window. Don’t pay attention.” He doesn’t need glasses at the age of 28 with an MA in engineering. My wife recently still didn’t understand why. I told her. He also told me that he got a strong sense of the 3 dimensional space around him, imagining multiple attackers while on the ball as a kid. He said even in engineering school attending lectures he could sense the space around him, which is really astounding to me. Most of us who go onto higher education, at least from my generation have a very narrow focus and don’t see peripherally certainly not in university lectures.
I took him snowboarding 3 times out of the country since the one place with snow here is always filled and impossible to reach. To put a long story short, he became an advanced snowboarder in probably a couple weeks on the slope with a lot of days of jet lag. The first time we went to Bulgaria. Maybe he slept 5 hours with a 90 minute bus ride to the slopes. It was the end of the season and there was slush at the beginner’s slope. I found a really wonderful teacher. He couldn’t believe my son wasn’t falling. He also learned in Colorado and at summer snowboard camp at Mt. Hood Oregon. He was the youngest kid there of about 15 kids or so. His last teacher at Colorado said to me this kid’s amazing. Another said he’ll be in competitions. A lot of bad stuff happened and we never got to go again.
When he wanted to get into an elite commando unit in the army, we went online and found the basic 3 day test that was grueling, and I programmed his workouts so that he had a chance of passing and got him to start seriously meditating to learn to get calm fast. I absolutely didn’t want him to do it at all but said nothing. He was never allowed to take an entrance test. My nephew was in a computer unit in the army at the time and had access to my son’s file and said that he was way too intelligent to be taken for such a dangerous task so he went to engineering school instead right out of high school which almost never happens here. Most everybody goes straight from high school to the army with a very few who go to university paid for by the army and then have to serve 6 years (3 like everyone else and another 3 where they earn a pretty good salary.) He just finished.
These weren’t the only things he learned. The whole subject is very painful. I doubt I’ll ever hear from him again. I love him more than anybody. I had 5 trauma therapists tell me I did a good job with my kids. My main therapist met them. He had talked to them on the phone when he was probably 11 or 12 and told me he thought he was talking to a college student. I tried my best to shield them from my depressions when I’d go into my room and close the door and get over it in a day, or my anxiety etc.. I never hit them and do a lot worse, although I wanted to hundreds of times but held it in. One trauma therapist said I’ve seen so many people have their kids taken away with what you have. Where’d you get your humanity? I couldn’t answer. Certainly not from my parents or my culture.
One sad thing is they got traumatized from me anyhow. Kids are sponges and pick up on moods. I was really a few generations removed from them. I was in my 40s when they were born. Nobody talked back to their fathers in my generation. Israel is not the nice polite culture I grew up in. It can be very brusque, especially kids. It might be changing now. I couldn’t believe my daughter would talk back to me as an adolescent. I’d blow up at her. My wife born in America, brought to Israel at the age of 12, always took the kids’ side no matter what.
Obviously, it wasn’t the only reason for their trauma. My son got to see her sister in the cancer ward which was devastating to all of us. I had to lie to him that he wouldn’t get cancer citing a statistical impossibility. I know of people with 2 kids with cancer. My son was bullied a lot in school for being the only white kid among dark skinned ones of North African and Yemenite origin where learning isn’t much of a value. They’d laugh at him for reading a book on the bus home. We tried to get him into another school but he didn’t want to go to the only safe we found. There was a lot of terrorism here, and his was really safe being out in a rural area not far from Jerusalem where there were better schools but buses were being blown up. A young volunteer in the cancer ward that really helped my wife and my daughter was murdered in a terror attack along with her father an American immigrant doctor who founded a number of emergency clinics, and an Arab cook, the night before her wedding. We mourned. My daughter’s reaction was that she died healthy and happy. Her cancer really damaged our family.
There were other things I taught that eludes me at the moment. I got him really strong for snowboarding. On his last ride of the day in Colorado, he was taken through trees and was too wiped out and hit one and got knocked out. Fortunately, he had a helmet. I took him a medical clinic. He got maybe 15 minutes of being checked with no x-rays etc.. The doctor thought he was fine and gave me a checklist of what to do to check for concussion in the middle of the night when I’d have to wake him up which I did of course. He was fine. The next day we travelled probably 3 and a half hours to another ski resort where we cross country skied, and he was back snowboarding the next day and was fine.
This has been a really long post. What can I say. You get what you get in life and deal with it. David Goggins is giving me a lot. There’s a Jewish Hasidic teaching about striving to find light in the darkness. I don’t try to practice that stuff anymore. I’m telling, listen motherfucker, if Goggins made it through, you can too. Don’t give up. I’ve had a virus for a couple weeks due to poor sleep, a lot of stress at times, which makes everything worse and isn’t allowing me to heal. This took a long time to write. I’ll get better. I’ve gotten out of all kinds of bad shit. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill myself recently. I really wanted to but something happened and I didn’t. I won’t check for a while to see if anybody replies. There were very personal things I said on this thread that I wish I hadn’t and when I saw no one replied, it really hurt. Thanks Bram for writing back. I lost another friend in this country recently. It’s life man.
I’m telling myself you can make it through motherfucker. When it hurts is the time to keep going. I can’t do the physical stuff Goggins does. Who can? But I know enough to keep trying to reach the impossible goal of mind/body/spirit health. I just realized there's no way to achieve it. It could always improve.
Both of them were doing strength training at early ages. My daughter didn't want to continue. My son started probably at 5 or 6 with light dumbbells from a book I got about strength training for kids. He later was doing a version of starting strength at 11. He got up to more than a bodyweight barbell back squat for 3 sets of 5 and was deadlifting about 1.4 times his bodyweight on the deadlift for 5 reps. I forgot exactly what happened that he stopped. I stopped and got into Wendler’s 531 for the barbell back squat and the deadlift. We were also doing a lot with gymnastic rings and other exercises from Christopher Sommer (the former USA national junior gymnastic team coach) from his DVDs and book Building the Gymnastic Body. He was able to do a good muscle up. I forgot exactly why he stopped. I never said they had to do any of this. My son was very interested.
One time he couldn't do a headstand that they were learning in elementary school. Since I'm a Feldenkrais teacher I had a way I had learned that I taught him in about 15 minutes. I bought a stability ball when the kids were really young (he was probably 4, she was 8) and they’d have fun rolling on it, sticking it between doorways and standing up on it etc.. One day unbeknownst to me, when I was out, my wife’s cousin was at the house when I was out and asked if he could stand on it. I’d never have allowed it. Our house had a slick stone file and I’d have thought he could break his skull. He did it pretty easily and I came home and was in shock to see him. The video is one he made of himself (he learned the software a couple hours on his own) and learned to put on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwu7O_4 ... aronferari
One thing he did that completely astounded me was after a brief Feldenkrais lesson about how to come from standing easily from a lunge position, he got on the ball with his eyes closed, stood on it, and came down to the ground the way you see in the video all with his eyes closed, a few times before I realized it. I told him not to do that again. We got all kinds of balance boards we both used. He learned karate and progressed pretty quickly. From all the chin-ups he told me he got up to the high 20s in a test in high school.
He was amazing in some ways. He was a camp counselor at horse back riding camp in charge of younger kids at the age of 11 which is astounding given the lack of discipline most kids grow up with in this country. I wasn’t like that with him. I didn’t think I was too hard but he learned to be polite and take responsibility. When my daughter was in the cancer ward, his class went on a trip to a bakery. His teacher called my wife to say all the kids were running around totally wild while your son was sitting cross legged with his eyes closed meditating. He was still in horse back riding camp at the age of 7 when she was in the cancer ward. One teacher said your son rides beautifully.
One time he couldn't do a headstand that they were learning in elementary school. Since I'm a Feldenkrais teacher I had a way I had learned that I taught him in about 15 minutes. Another time he did something to himself on the ball and got into a terrible back spasm probably at the age of about ten. He was totally bent over and in a lot of pain. I had a bad flu and was really sick and worked on him while he was in a chair for about 15 minutes (all I could do) and released a lot of pain but he was still suffering. The next day still sick, I had him do a number of movements from the Feldenkrais method that would have been impossible for most adults. I was so out of it I taught it wrong with the lower back rotated one way and the upper back rotated completely opposite while in an awkward position sitting on the floor with one hand in back for support until I realized it and corrected it so the whole spine rotated in one direction and at the end of 15 minutes he was fine.
I didn’t say that at probably 11 he was teaching me a chi gung breathing meditation he had learned from me. I also had enormous faith in him and said, “Never strain to see the blackboard or focus on the teacher if you get bored or tired, you will end up needing glasses. Space out, look out the window. Don’t pay attention.” He doesn’t need glasses at the age of 28 with an MA in engineering. My wife recently still didn’t understand why. I told her. He also told me that he got a strong sense of the 3 dimensional space around him, imagining multiple attackers while on the ball as a kid. He said even in engineering school attending lectures he could sense the space around him, which is really astounding to me. Most of us who go onto higher education, at least from my generation have a very narrow focus and don’t see peripherally certainly not in university lectures.
I took him snowboarding 3 times out of the country since the one place with snow here is always filled and impossible to reach. To put a long story short, he became an advanced snowboarder in probably a couple weeks on the slope with a lot of days of jet lag. The first time we went to Bulgaria. Maybe he slept 5 hours with a 90 minute bus ride to the slopes. It was the end of the season and there was slush at the beginner’s slope. I found a really wonderful teacher. He couldn’t believe my son wasn’t falling. He also learned in Colorado and at summer snowboard camp at Mt. Hood Oregon. He was the youngest kid there of about 15 kids or so. His last teacher at Colorado said to me this kid’s amazing. Another said he’ll be in competitions. A lot of bad stuff happened and we never got to go again.
When he wanted to get into an elite commando unit in the army, we went online and found the basic 3 day test that was grueling, and I programmed his workouts so that he had a chance of passing and got him to start seriously meditating to learn to get calm fast. I absolutely didn’t want him to do it at all but said nothing. He was never allowed to take an entrance test. My nephew was in a computer unit in the army at the time and had access to my son’s file and said that he was way too intelligent to be taken for such a dangerous task so he went to engineering school instead right out of high school which almost never happens here. Most everybody goes straight from high school to the army with a very few who go to university paid for by the army and then have to serve 6 years (3 like everyone else and another 3 where they earn a pretty good salary.) He just finished.
These weren’t the only things he learned. The whole subject is very painful. I doubt I’ll ever hear from him again. I love him more than anybody. I had 5 trauma therapists tell me I did a good job with my kids. My main therapist met them. He had talked to them on the phone when he was probably 11 or 12 and told me he thought he was talking to a college student. I tried my best to shield them from my depressions when I’d go into my room and close the door and get over it in a day, or my anxiety etc.. I never hit them and do a lot worse, although I wanted to hundreds of times but held it in. One trauma therapist said I’ve seen so many people have their kids taken away with what you have. Where’d you get your humanity? I couldn’t answer. Certainly not from my parents or my culture.
One sad thing is they got traumatized from me anyhow. Kids are sponges and pick up on moods. I was really a few generations removed from them. I was in my 40s when they were born. Nobody talked back to their fathers in my generation. Israel is not the nice polite culture I grew up in. It can be very brusque, especially kids. It might be changing now. I couldn’t believe my daughter would talk back to me as an adolescent. I’d blow up at her. My wife born in America, brought to Israel at the age of 12, always took the kids’ side no matter what.
Obviously, it wasn’t the only reason for their trauma. My son got to see her sister in the cancer ward which was devastating to all of us. I had to lie to him that he wouldn’t get cancer citing a statistical impossibility. I know of people with 2 kids with cancer. My son was bullied a lot in school for being the only white kid among dark skinned ones of North African and Yemenite origin where learning isn’t much of a value. They’d laugh at him for reading a book on the bus home. We tried to get him into another school but he didn’t want to go to the only safe we found. There was a lot of terrorism here, and his was really safe being out in a rural area not far from Jerusalem where there were better schools but buses were being blown up. A young volunteer in the cancer ward that really helped my wife and my daughter was murdered in a terror attack along with her father an American immigrant doctor who founded a number of emergency clinics, and an Arab cook, the night before her wedding. We mourned. My daughter’s reaction was that she died healthy and happy. Her cancer really damaged our family.
There were other things I taught that eludes me at the moment. I got him really strong for snowboarding. On his last ride of the day in Colorado, he was taken through trees and was too wiped out and hit one and got knocked out. Fortunately, he had a helmet. I took him a medical clinic. He got maybe 15 minutes of being checked with no x-rays etc.. The doctor thought he was fine and gave me a checklist of what to do to check for concussion in the middle of the night when I’d have to wake him up which I did of course. He was fine. The next day we travelled probably 3 and a half hours to another ski resort where we cross country skied, and he was back snowboarding the next day and was fine.
This has been a really long post. What can I say. You get what you get in life and deal with it. David Goggins is giving me a lot. There’s a Jewish Hasidic teaching about striving to find light in the darkness. I don’t try to practice that stuff anymore. I’m telling, listen motherfucker, if Goggins made it through, you can too. Don’t give up. I’ve had a virus for a couple weeks due to poor sleep, a lot of stress at times, which makes everything worse and isn’t allowing me to heal. This took a long time to write. I’ll get better. I’ve gotten out of all kinds of bad shit. It’s a miracle I didn’t kill myself recently. I really wanted to but something happened and I didn’t. I won’t check for a while to see if anybody replies. There were very personal things I said on this thread that I wish I hadn’t and when I saw no one replied, it really hurt. Thanks Bram for writing back. I lost another friend in this country recently. It’s life man.
I’m telling myself you can make it through motherfucker. When it hurts is the time to keep going. I can’t do the physical stuff Goggins does. Who can? But I know enough to keep trying to reach the impossible goal of mind/body/spirit health. I just realized there's no way to achieve it. It could always improve.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Lenny,
What a cool video your son made! And you have a lot to be proud of as a parent. Thank you for sharing!
I think parents do the best they can. My grandfather beat my dad, stole all his money, and forced my grandma to have a number of abortions. My dad made his own mistakes, but he never repeated his father’s. If I have kids, I’ll try to learn from my dad’s good examples and add the things I wish I had.
Stay hard, motherfucker :)
What a cool video your son made! And you have a lot to be proud of as a parent. Thank you for sharing!
I think parents do the best they can. My grandfather beat my dad, stole all his money, and forced my grandma to have a number of abortions. My dad made his own mistakes, but he never repeated his father’s. If I have kids, I’ll try to learn from my dad’s good examples and add the things I wish I had.
Stay hard, motherfucker :)
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Bram
Not all parents do the best they can. I think my father tried to make a man out of me from too young an age, but his violent outbursts didn't help. He got violent with me at about the age of 4. I was terrified. Fortunately, he wasn't physically violent too often.
My mother needed to be in a mental hospital when I was really young. My father, a decorated war hero, was too ashamed to take her. She wanted to make me a slave. I rebelled. She's lucky she didn't have a daughter who would have been a complete fuckin mess and probably have killed herself long ago.
Both my parents' families were nightmares. My fraternal grandfather was one tough motherfucker (I met him twice despite him living 5 minutes away.) My mother said that set of grandparents wanted nothing to do with me. He and one of my father's brothers had fistfights. That brother stole money from my grandmother. My father told me his father's father fled from Europe at the age of 12. He was a big kid and worked on a boat and got to America. Later went to Africa where he killed someone for stealing his whiskey. My father later denied it but I'm sure it's true. The men on my paternal side were a violent bunch. I'm not for whatever reason although one therapist said I could have been a murderer but I always restrained myself.
You get what you get in life and deal with it the best you can. I'm still alive. It's not over but I don't feel I have a lot of time.
Not all parents do the best they can. I think my father tried to make a man out of me from too young an age, but his violent outbursts didn't help. He got violent with me at about the age of 4. I was terrified. Fortunately, he wasn't physically violent too often.
My mother needed to be in a mental hospital when I was really young. My father, a decorated war hero, was too ashamed to take her. She wanted to make me a slave. I rebelled. She's lucky she didn't have a daughter who would have been a complete fuckin mess and probably have killed herself long ago.
Both my parents' families were nightmares. My fraternal grandfather was one tough motherfucker (I met him twice despite him living 5 minutes away.) My mother said that set of grandparents wanted nothing to do with me. He and one of my father's brothers had fistfights. That brother stole money from my grandmother. My father told me his father's father fled from Europe at the age of 12. He was a big kid and worked on a boat and got to America. Later went to Africa where he killed someone for stealing his whiskey. My father later denied it but I'm sure it's true. The men on my paternal side were a violent bunch. I'm not for whatever reason although one therapist said I could have been a murderer but I always restrained myself.
You get what you get in life and deal with it the best you can. I'm still alive. It's not over but I don't feel I have a lot of time.
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
After going through it yourself, you chose not to hit your kids. That’s admirable you broke the cycle! That behavior might have gone back thousands of years.
And you taught them to exercise and meditate. I’d imagine they were the first generation to learn that in your family tree from their parents.
Keep on working towards your mind, body, and spirit goals. Maybe you’ll surpass them :)
Hope you have a good rest of your weekend, Lenny!
And you taught them to exercise and meditate. I’d imagine they were the first generation to learn that in your family tree from their parents.
Keep on working towards your mind, body, and spirit goals. Maybe you’ll surpass them :)
Hope you have a good rest of your weekend, Lenny!
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!
Alzheimer's protection Dr. Peter Attia
Bram
Thanks a lot for your comments. I really appreciate it.
Thanks a lot for your comments. I really appreciate it.