Entertaining scam time

[Sangoma]

When I returned from a holiday in August I discovered this voice message on my mobile phone. Something along these lines: "This is Michael Clarke from the Australian Tax Office. There has been criminal proceedings initiated against you for tax fraud and tax evasion. Do not ignore this call! Call us back on this and this."

So I called back. Different voice, same authority demeanor, told me that I have been investigated and that the police will contact me within 24 hours. I called my accountant - who laughed. Then I called the Tax Office - the guy didn't laugh, but was close to it. Surely, he said, this is not how we communicate with the offenders. In any case, the whole affair was puzzling, as the guys didn't ask for money, credit card details or anything else potentially profitable.

So, yesterday they called again! Recorded message over the phone with the demand to call back. So I did. And this time it went somewhere, albeit very slowly. In an (feeble) attempt to sound believable they throw various names at you - the case has been monitored by the Supreme Court House, The Department of Fraud Investigation of the Tax Office and the Federal Police, there are file numbers, badge numbers etc. Eventually they get to the point: they audited my tax account and came to the conclusion that I underpaid $4.500 between 2010 - 2015. They have strong evidence that this is not a mistake and this has been done on purpose! Therefore the Tax Office will now take me to court, and if I lose they will take me to court again and I can lose over 45k. At the same time my assets will be ceased, my passport taken away, the public will be notified, driving license revoked and many other things of the kind will happen. I have an option to settle the matter or go along and go to court. Thrilled and curious as to how they are going to take the money without being traced I replied with the best scared voice that I want to settle it immediately.

Before the solution was disclosed I had to listen to three conditions. First, I have to stay on the line all the time until the payment is made. Two... I don't remember. Three - I cannot discuss it with anybody - not my friends, relatives, accountant or attorney. Ok. Deal. Sorry, can I tell y wife? Absolutely not! If you do so the deal is off and the Tax Office will take me to court.

The solution was as follows. The gentleman (on a bad Skype line) explained, that because all my bank account and credit cards have been investigated I cannot use them for making the payment. Therefore, while staying on the line I have to go to the nearest department store and purchase one of the vouchers - iTunes, Microsoft, Google etc. (I only heard of iTunes before) to the required amount. The explanation was that large companies help the Tax Office and the taxpayers to pay tax - some taxpayers don't have bank accounts (say what?) or don't have access to the Internet (a-ha). So, I have to buy the vouchers - staying on the line while driving to the store, for two reasons: one - the recording of the conversation is the evidence of me cooperating, two - they wouldn't want me to make a mistake and get the wrong voucher. After I buy the vouchers I give them the numbers and so on. Is that clear? Yes. So go ahead and go to the store, you can put me on speaker.

At this point I asked the guy if anybody actually pays them this way. After 15 minutes of cooperation from my side the guy was taken aback. I laughed and told him that he should change the script and that he should get better phone line. He was breathing into the receiver for half a minute, then hung up.

I obviously have too much free time today. In any case, this shit is likely to happen in other, especially English speaking, countries. Have fun!

[Sangoma]

Several years ago I came across this website: www.419eater.com It is sill up and is pretty much a community of folks with free time on their hands who go along with the Nigerian scams. You know - my father was the Emperor of Uganda, Kenya, Nigeria, Ghana etc., he was killed by the rebels and now there is $50zillion in the family trust account. We cannot use it because the bad guys will kill us, so we need you bank account to deposit the money and they you transfer it to our account and get 5, 10 or 20% in the process. I have been getting these emails fairly regularly over the last 20 years. Apparently quite a few Australians fell victim to this shit.

According to the Scamwatch - government run website - there have been 122,148 reports of various scams, 8% of which result in financial loss to the total sum of whopping $64,862,690! https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/about-scam ... statistics

We are all above average, and nobody thinks they will ever fall for it. But I would say don't underestimate the scamsters. Some of them are very smart guys.

[nafod]

.Three - I cannot discuss it with anybody - not my friends, relatives, accountant or attorney.

I guess I'm not your friend

[Sangoma]

What are you talking about, you are the only person who knows about this!

[Grandpa's Spells]

419eater has a very funny bit back in the day about getting a sculpture.