GOODBYE

[lenny]

Bram is a very clever guy
too clever
He sends me his phone number
i send him a pm back basically
DON'T BURN ME
PROMISE NOT TO RECORD THE CONVERSATION
PROMISE NOT TO SAVE MY NUMBER


THAT PM IS DELETED BY WHO YOU GUESS
I HAVE IT SOME FUCKIN PLACE BUT I AINT PUTTIN IT UP HERE

FOR HIM TO HACK ME WHICH HE PROBABLBY WILL DO
SO MY NEPHEW HAS TO SAVE ME FROM GETTIN
MY EMAIL HACKED

WIFE VERY CLEVER
THE NEW BATTERY DON'T WORK
LOCKSMITH MUST HAVE BEEN HERE AND FUCKED WITH IT. TOOK IT OUT
in the middle of the night when i called and he picked up and. hung up
i know you guys think i'm nuts so i will try to burn that motherfuckin locksmith


AM I PARANOID FOR A REASON




why would bram do this

cause on my intro email i stupidly called out a bunch of guys for being so rough
don't remember who. SOME GUY WHO HATED NIGGERS WHOSE NAME ELUDES ME
KAZ WAS HIS NAME
I TORE HIM UP
IF YOU WERE IN THE GHETTO HOW WOULD YOU DO

it's probably up

i went too far and shouldn't have made fun of Bram who. was a good guy
i was a dumb fuck and said his training program was all over the map
it was put up ten years ago
it may be there
i haven't read it.

I WILL MISS YOU GUYS
YOU WERE GREAT
I'M IN A TERRIBLE WAR
AND WITH ONLY A FEW TO TRUST

HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE TO EVER HAVE THIS
IN YOUR LIFE
I'M SORRY. I CAN NVER COME BACK

[Bram]

Hey Lenny,

I didn’t respond to your request to not record your phone call and delete your number out of any malice. You sent a long e-mail with a lot of parts to it, and I didn’t feel like reading and responding to every thing. I had just finished 8 hours of driving and was tired.

I don’t have any interest in hacking you or anyone, but I will publicly state:

I will not save your number, record your conversation, or ask about anything you don’t want to talk about.

My training routine is still all over the place. It’s all good to have that criticism, it’s a correct one!

I strongly agree with Thud that you should be seeking mental health treatment. I know you can’t see your behavior, but you’ve been posting here for a long time, and your posts are radically different than they used to be. It feels like watching a guy with a broken leg trying to run and insisting nothing’s wrong.

You’re putting your health, and potentially the health of others, at risk by avoiding treatment. I know you have a good heart, get treatment if for no other reason than as a kindness to others.

If you want to call, again I promise I won’t record the conversation or save your number.

[lenny]

I'm under the care of a psychiatrist. I follow his recommendation I could have killed a guy in a bank the other. I was very restrained and didn't even touch him. Does it really matter to you if I put my health at risk? You don't know me. I wrote so much about first time in the psyche ward which you guys don't even relate to. My experience with the psychiatric profession including trauma therapists who completely misdiagnosed the problems that would have helped our family enormously maintain a close loving relationship has been that it's dreadful. I started with this shit in 1967. It's 56 years later. I know the hospitals in this country, and you're telling me what I should do. The truth is that your opinion is as well meaning as it is not that of a mental health professional who has ever seen me. I'm blowing off steam here. I need a release valve. I do it in writing and in physical training. It's not safe to skateboard or surf. Other people do it but after running for my life with bombs going off I don't feel like doing it that far from shelter. You're not living in a war zone, nor are you a mental health professional. Why should I take your opinions? I wonder are you guys trying to fuck me up. My wife is.

I couldn't get out of this country if I wanted to. The airport isn't safe. I lost another friend tonight. I'm finished with my wife and probably my two adult children. There is no chance of reconciliation with my wife. Do you read at all carefully or are you just fucking with my head.

I asked has anyone even attempted anything I ever suggested? I try to be helpful. I'm going through. I probably need 2 attorneys. I found one. You have no idea what I'm going through. I am starting to think I am wasting my time trying to be helpful to people have no interest in anything I have to offer be it music, psychology, Huberman, anything. so maybe i should stop posting and read stuff occasionally. tell me why i'm wrong.

[Ronald RayGun]

For fuck's sake. I'm beginning to feel pretty fucking amazing about ONLY having a severe anxiety/panic disorder. Crippling, sure, but pretty stable. Now I'm off to *fap* to all of your moms.

[Bram]

I thought “August 10” by Khruangbin was a good share. Been listening to that song, and them, regularly since you shared it.

As to your state of mind, I don’t see anyone else on here talking about killing people in public, or accusing other members of this site of fucking with their heads.

I’ve never been in a situation like you’re going through, and, unlike Thud, I’ve never seen anyone go through it with my own eyes. I can’t speak to what treatment would be appropriate, but I do believe there are good medical practitioners out there that can help people undergoing psychiatric stress.

[lenny]

Bram
When you are cut off on the highway by a maniac on the highway are you completely calm. You have never been to the Middle East. From what I know to France to surf. You don't know this part of the world at all. Driving in Greece is worse. Most Americans have no idea how the rest of the world is.

My psychiatrist whose care I am under is out of the country. I have to look for another one to decide whether or not my wife's behavior on his or her professional grounds is sufficient for me to seek a court order restraining to keep her at a safe distance. I had screen captured Whatsapp messages from my wife on Saturday saying she wanted to come into this apartment while I knew she was putting her life in danger in the parking lot. There were at least 6 messages.
If you write long Whatsapp messages then there's a part that says read more which i couldn't access. My attorney told me to search on how to export to read the rest.

Lo and behold what I read last night on the exported Whatsapps is that she is not here. The only person I know that she knows who can do this is my nephew a computer who I shared and apartment with in Jerusalem and I was amazed at what he could do with computer programs. He and I were very close and spoke recently. I know my wife was here although I didn't see her. She began to demand to let me come to this apartment. She knows I won't take orders from her. She got more and more frustrated and went home in the dark with crazy drivers.

I am tired of having to explain myself to a couple people I don't know who are not professionals. I made a mistake by revealing my feelings. I keep a journal so I'll write down my feelings there. I got manic but you have never been in a war zone. I had to duck into a shelter the other day.

In this country you can scream and yell and throw punches as long you don't touch anybody. How would you like to find out you have to divorce your wife of 37 years and your close relationship with your nephew is over. I did try to be helpful but I have come to the conclusion that no one is willing to practice what I thought might be usefu so I should stop wasting my time and yours.

I am enraged at people in this country who put up with terrorists when we don't have to. What would you do if wherever you live had a lot of rocket attacks and nothing was really done about it


You would never want to be in the situation we are in here. So many people in this country are angry that the security services were completely negligent in allowing massacres and kidnappings. That should have never happened.

[Bram]

Lenny,

I would appreciate if you edit your message and remove my phone number which I shared in privacy with you.

I wish you the best of luck with your current situation! As you said, I’m not a mental health practitioner. And being in a war-zone would be terrifying. Again, best of luck!

[lenny]

As to your state of mind, I don’t see anyone else on here talking about killing people in public, or accusing other members of this site of fucking with their heads.

There aren't too many people left in this place. Do ya remember Kaz who hated niggers. How could you not? It seems to me there were a lot of people like batboy54
who were willing to shoot people in public if necessary. Why do you think wild gorilla man, beer jew, and all the other guys never came back. they could be really nasty.
i tried to be helpful. is it worth it to be helpful after i ask has anybody here tried even one thing i posted that i thought would be helpful

[lenny]

How have i begun to calm down. I've been so angry that people here should know that they're wrong and this could lead to nuclear war. Why can't they learn after 2,000 years of getting murdered. I'm worse because I'm doing the same thing and it's been hurting me. If they won't change, my rage and in public yet, isn't helping but only hurting me and upsetting people. I should stop being angry and enraged and I am. I'm lucky that i'm 74 and have had most of my life and experienced a lot and learn a lot and still do and if I die today I do. If not, not. I'd like not to get shrapnel that could hurt me a lot for the rest of my life from a missile explosion but I can't stay up here forever close to my special room to protect me against anything but a direct hit and poison gas. That's life. I can scream about it. or accept it which i'm doing the best i can.

[Turdacious]