The couch thread

[Beelzebub]

As much as I would like to believe that Glasshole is screwing around on the side, I have strong doubts.

No way his wife is going to put up with this.

He has some pretty young kids, so, no way he is going to cheat. This would end up like the Dodgers owner. He'd be seriously fucked.

Nobody is that stupid.

Please prove me wrong.

This is confirmed. There are several eye witness accounts from dinner in WA after the CrossFitology 101 meeting where the couch was holding hands and sucking face with his catchers mitt. Shortly after, he passed out and had to be carried from the table.

Well, who are you?

4shizzly.

Beezle, intro yourself over in the FSF you sloppy @fitkocknobbler.

then come back and regale us with stories of that cripple motorboating the wife of a Navy SEAL.

Ladies and gentlemen, who gives a shit who I am, let us focus on the relevant information.

Does Couch attempt to fuck everything that moves and can stomach to sit and swill gin with him? Yes. Is he a degenerate alcoholic fuck? Yes. Does have have young kids and a wife at home? Yes. Does he care? No.

I am anything but a CF kocknobbler, even though I thoroughly enjoy that term, I would love to crush the CF temple into dust. I am hoping that all I will need to do at this point is sit back and watch, they seem to be self destructing on their own. Who crowns someone their "Director of Training" when that individual is not only a confirmed douche, but has no experience training anyone or anything. Is Cuntro an ex-Navy SEAL, sure, but who gives a shit. Ask around, those who knew him when he was in are more likely to walk by, than take the time to piss on him if he were on fire. I have heard him described as a "warrior", seasoned on the "field of battle." Perhaps, only if you consider a field of battle to be a bar where you attempt to fuck everything except your wife. In that circumstance, yes, he has a distinguished record. He is the perfect man to sit at the right hand of the Couch. Couch has attempted to create him in his image.... well done Couch!

Let us not forget the other half of Couch's domain, for it is where his upbringing of Cuntro truly began. Long before Couch found his current catchers mitt, he was smitten with the moustached Nichole Barrel, aka buns of steel. Couch realized that Cuntro and bunzies could not stand on their own and dominate the fitness industry, so he did the only thing he is a master of, he got them drunk on gin and filmed them fucking like monkeys. Once their powers were united they became twin towers of Cockfit, and have reigned over the world since that day.

I am sure there are doubters, do some research, what you find may disgust you. It may sicken you worse than the sumo deadlift high pull.

[Mountebank]

I have it on trusted word that Beelzebub is privy to much insider CultFit info. Let us not bite the hand that feeds.

EDIT: For those of you who check the WaD daily comments and injury board, watch for new rhabdo...today was GHD situps...they must be punishment for the flock.

[Gary John]

This is all I'm asking.

Is it an open secret?

Do we have a Bill and Hillbillary situation?

If it is OK for him to fuck around, then so be it.

[Blaidd Drwg]

As much as I would like to believe that Glasshole is screwing around on the side, I have strong doubts.

No way his wife is going to put up with this.

He has some pretty young kids, so, no way he is going to cheat. This would end up like the Dodgers owner. He'd be seriously fucked.

Nobody is that stupid.

Please prove me wrong.

This is confirmed. There are several eye witness accounts from dinner in WA after the CrossFitology 101 meeting where the couch was holding hands and sucking face with his catchers mitt. Shortly after, he passed out and had to be carried from the table.

Well, who are you?

4shizzly.

Beezle, intro yourself over in the FSF you sloppy @fitkocknobbler.

then come back and regale us with stories of that cripple motorboating the wife of a Navy SEAL.

Ladies and gentlemen, who gives a shit who I am, let us focus on the relevant information.

Does Couch attempt to fuck everything that moves and can stomach to sit and swill gin with him? Yes. Is he a degenerate alcoholic fuck? Yes. Does have have young kids and a wife at home? Yes. Does he care? No.

I am anything but a CF kocknobbler, even though I thoroughly enjoy that term, I would love to crush the CF temple into dust. I am hoping that all I will need to do at this point is sit back and watch, they seem to be self destructing on their own. Who crowns someone their "Director of Training" when that individual is not only a confirmed douche, but has no experience training anyone or anything. Is Cuntro an ex-Navy SEAL, sure, but who gives a shit. Ask around, those who knew him when he was in are more likely to walk by, than take the time to piss on him if he were on fire. I have heard him described as a "warrior", seasoned on the "field of battle." Perhaps, only if you consider a field of battle to be a bar where you attempt to fuck everything except your wife. In that circumstance, yes, he has a distinguished record. He is the perfect man to sit at the right hand of the Couch. Couch has attempted to create him in his image.... well done Couch!

Let us not forget the other half of Couch's domain, for it is where his upbringing of Cuntro truly began. Long before Couch found his current catchers mitt, he was smitten with the moustached Nichole Barrel, aka buns of steel. Couch realized that Cuntro and bunzies could not stand on their own and dominate the fitness industry, so he did the only thing he is a master of, he got them drunk on gin and filmed them fucking like monkeys. Once their powers were united they became twin towers of Cockfit, and have reigned over the world since that day.

I am sure there are doubters, do some research, what you find may disgust you. It may sicken you worse than the sumo deadlift high pull.

regardless. we have protocol bitches. introduce yourself in the FSF BZ. no one cares your real name, you just need a little hazing from the collective. also, speaking of things that are slighly more sickening than sumo deadlift hi pulls....gene is a goat fucker, so don't say you weren't warned.

[Croatoa]

[Croatoa]

[Beelzebub]

What the fuck is the FSF?

[Beelzebub]

Castro's lucky he didn't instigate a physical altercation with Everett.

220# of purple belt BJJ + kickboxing and probably close to a 300kg OL total completely trumps 170lbs of ex-SEAL who probably hasn't worked out in years, at least until he pulled his knife or gun.

On the other hand, the video of that would have been FUCKING AWESOME.

I didn't realize Everett was into martial arts. I was figuring Castro would've taken him being an ex-SEAL and all. Now it's unfortunate Greg didn't curb stomp him, American History X-style.

Let us not give credit where no credit is due. Cuntro may be an ex-SEAL, but the only thing he is capable of whipping into shape is a flaccid cock. Nichole Barrel raves about how he used to suck her cock, apparently he favors a double handed technique. Had there been a physical altercation, Cuntro would have been summarily destroyed. This is why you will never see him fight, for he is a CUNT.

[Croatoa]

What the fuck is the FSF?

Free Speech Forum

[Blaidd Drwg]

Castro's lucky he didn't instigate a physical altercation with Everett.

220# of purple belt BJJ + kickboxing and probably close to a 300kg OL total completely trumps 170lbs of ex-SEAL who probably hasn't worked out in years, at least until he pulled his knife or gun.

On the other hand, the video of that would have been FUCKING AWESOME.

I didn't realize Everett was into martial arts. I was figuring Castro would've taken him being an ex-SEAL and all. Now it's unfortunate Greg didn't curb stomp him, American History X-style.

Let us not give credit where no credit is due. Cuntro may be an ex-SEAL, but the only thing he is capable of whipping into shape is a flaccid cock. Nichole Barrel raves about how he used to suck her cock, apparently he favors a double handed technique. Had there been a physical altercation, Cuntro would have been summarily destroyed. This is why you will never see him fight, for he is a CUNT.

stick around beezy, i like your style.

[POD]

I am fogy on all the details, but The Sonz guys

http://www.sonzexercise.com/index.php?movie_name=Todd had a few affiliates stuffed in their nice clubs and were doing a "5 day how to make money" seminar. Petranek was doing it also and there was a beef between CFHQ and Sonz. Petranek changed his name from Petranek Fitness to CrossFit LA and POOF no more Sonz seminars. My friend Leo went and had some sort of shit storm and fought to get a refund. I'm going to find out what that was all about. Dirt somewhere. Rob needs to not be a pussy and release e-mails and videos. This is why they can do this shit because no one mans up and puts it out there. POD you know this shit don't you?

I had heard about the whole Black Box Summit fiasco from the Performance Menu boards, then a friend called me yesterday to talk about the whole mess and he brought up that Couch was chasing after some other cooch. That, I hadn't heard of, and since I'm on Thanksgiving break and have the time, I went and caught up with some 35pg of this thread yesterday. Damn. You can't make this shit up.

[dead man walking]

this beezy guy doesn't know how to spell his own name.

it's beelzebub. not beezlebub. just giving fair warning before fat cat shows up and calls him stupid

[CultBuster]

Jennifer Conlin Thinks it's pretty funny when "Men" hide behide nicknames and talk about others like a bunch of old women. Maybe they should just put their shit on the table like the big boys! Or maybe their balls are just really small! Anonymity...Ha!

I think she is talking about us.

[Anon]

this beezy guy doesn't know how to spell his own name.

it's beelzebub. not beezlebub. just giving fair warning before fat cat shows up and calls him stupid

I am anything but a CF kocknobbler

Kocknobbler? It's Cock Gobbler foo!

[cunch]

this beezy guy doesn't know how to spell his own name.

it's beelzebub. not beezlebub. just giving fair warning before fat cat shows up and calls him stupid

I am anything but a CF kocknobbler

Kocknobbler? It's Cock Gobbler foo!

I believe he meant knobgobbler.

[WildGorillaMan]

Jennifer Conlin Thinks it's pretty funny when "Men" hide behide nicknames and talk about others like a bunch of old women. Maybe they should just put their shit on the table like the big boys! Or maybe their balls are just really small! Anonymity...Ha!

I think she is talking about us.

With balls like these she's definitely in a position to throw stones.

[Anon]

I thought all @ssfitters were required to return their dynamax bawls in disgust?

[Anon]

this beezy guy doesn't know how to spell his own name.

it's beelzebub. not beezlebub. just giving fair warning before fat cat shows up and calls him stupid

I am anything but a CF kocknobbler

Kocknobbler? It's Cock Gobbler foo!

I believe he meant knobgobbler.

yea me too

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

There are several issues to be addressed:

the fucking video.
the emails
@fit hq response
Does anyone know this Dutch cat? What's his take?
Pictures of couch sucking face with that healthy housewife

Share, please.

[POD]

Does anyone here know why Roger Harrell stopped doing the gymnastics certifications? He was the guy who originated them a long while back, but he was soon replaced by Jeff Tucker. I never heard why, and the recent departure of Rippetoe and Wolf has got me thinking about that. Does Tucker even have any credentials? The only real information I was able to find on him was from this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5iMGSOBB00

Additionally, why doesn't Couch just do the gymnastics certs himself, especially when he was such a great gymnahst?

[POD]

I thought all @ssfitters were required to return their dynamax bawls in disgust?

No, they're just obligated to copy and paste whatever emails they get from Jim Cawley publicly on the CrossFit forums so that everyone can be reminded how much their supposed to hate him for not supporting CrossFit's methods, while completely forgetting the fact that he developed the list of 10 physical skills that they all (supposedly) strive for.

[Grandpa's Spells]

Jennifer Conlin Thinks it's pretty funny when "Men" hide behide nicknames and talk about others like a bunch of old women. Maybe they should just put their shit on the table like the big boys! Or maybe their balls are just really small! Anonymity...Ha!

I think she is talking about us.

Most of us are known by RL names and aren't hard to find.

[Gin Master]

Does Tucker even have any credentials?

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=jeff+tucker+gsx+biography&l=1

[Kraj]

You guys are going about these things wrong. When tabloids want the juicy stuff, they have to pay. If you want the real dirt (videos of the assault, videos of various Motel 6 rendezvous, insider info a la "Deepthroat", etc.) you need to start an IGx fund and pay for the good stuff. That's how to get primo material. A lot of people will start opening up when the green's on the table.

[Pinky]

You guys are going about these things wrong. When tabloids want the juicy stuff, they have to pay. If you want the real dirt (videos of the assault, videos of various Motel 6 rendezvous, insider info a la "Deepthroat", etc.) you need to start an IGx fund and pay for the good stuff. That's how to get primo material. A lot of people will start opening up when the green's on the table.

Tabloids are after information about people with publicists and good attorneys. This thread about drama and stupidity on the level of what you would see on "Cops". IGX doesn't have to pay a cent to laugh at these morons. We just have to be here and let them continue to act like shitheads in public.