The couch thread

[Gin Master]

Yeaster Bunny?

[Kraj]

BTW, what's up with the fascists over at the CrossFit boards. I tried signing up for their forum so I could expand my horizons and better myself, but they shot me down. Here's my e-mail exchange:

-----------------------

I'm curious why I was rejected from joining your forum. I'm not used to being rejected from anything.

What is the issue exactly? I've filled out the registration form completely and honestly. I'm an internet celebrity. I have no reason to lie. My blog (http://krajkrajisnik.blogspot.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;) has helped thousands to dream and achieve.

I believe in working hard and working smart. Success is within the grasp of all of us. All it takes is the faith to reach out and grab it. I believe that CrossFit's goals and methods are the same as those I teach and would like to be a part of the community, both for my betterment and yours.

So, again, what is the problem exactly?

-K. K.

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Hi Kraj,

Due to the high number of trolls and spammers, we check applications
for location and verify the name information against several different
sources. I glanced over your blog and can not find a city/state for
you.

Did you move recently? If you moved, can you provide us your former
city/state where you lived?

Thank you,

Kelly Moore

-----------------------

I'm not sure what you're looking for. I haven't moved within the past year, although I have purchased two investment properties in the past 3 months, both in Florida. When I'm not traveling as part of my work, I mainly reside at one of my two residences here on the West Coast. Any more info you're looking for? FYI, thanks to my position and the work I do, I can make Crossfit very VERY lucrative. The key, however, is keeping the customer happy. I'm not real happy about getting grilled to join an internet forum. Think about it.

-K. K.

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Hi Kraj,

The attitude expressed in your emails indicates you are not a good
match for the community of the CrossFit message board. Internet
celebrities trying to "make Crossfit very VERY lucrative" don't work
on our forum.

Thank you for your interest,

Kelly Moore

-------------------------

Which attitude is that? Please explain what your community is about. Is it about bettering oneself, which is what I am all about, or is it about being thought nazis who want to shut out everyone who doesn't adhere to their standards? Perhaps if I had several tattoos and some STDs to boot I would be an accepted member of the community, but because I'm a very successful individual who is in the business of helping others achieve their potential, I'm outcast. It seems as though you're threatened by the way I speak my mind. For shame. I really wanted to learn about CrossFit and implement it into my own life. What now? I guess I'll go sign up for Scientology instead.

-K. K.

[Gin Master]

Hey, she called you an Internet celebrity. You have that going for you.

[Gary John]

My dear Kelly,

The trolls exist in large numbers. You are now catching weak newbies.

My favorites post from Arizona. Two were in Prescott.

Your computer skilz sucketh badly.

Best troll job was getting certs by cousins who lived in the area.

[Anon]

EDIT: FYI, the Gaymes qualifiers have begun...
Their winner of the SoCal region: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... Clever.mov" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Um...dude looks like a lady, true @F right there.

Good Luck at the gaymes Pat!

[Ripe Turd]

After much reflexion, it IS a lady...no?

EDIT: FYI, the Gaymes qualifiers have begun...
Their winner of the SoCal region: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... Clever.mov" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Um...dude looks like a lady, true @F right there.

[Kraj]

Is that Michael Vick in the background of the opening shot?

[POD]

What sources do they cross reference applications with? When I signed up two years ago, I simply had to wait a few hours for an administrator to approve the application. I didn't have to go through some criminal background check, interrogation, or polygraph test. I guess they've built some high walls around their complex over the past few years.

After much reflexion, it IS a lady...no?

EDIT: FYI, the Gaymes qualifiers have begun...
Their winner of the SoCal region: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... Clever.mov" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Um...dude looks like a lady, true @F right there.

I think so, especially considering that everyone else on the runs, squats, and rowing was female. The only difference is that they actually looked female.


Joe, fuck you.

[Mountebank]

PD, you may be too young for this one, but Joe was probably referring to this Pat...

The genderless ideal of the top female @Fers...

[Anon]

Bingo RQ
Ready Fire Aim again PD

[WildGorillaMan]

The genderless ideal of the top female @Fers...

I dispute that their ideal is "genderless"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermasculinity

[Anon]

The genderless ideal of the top female @Fers...

I dispute that their ideal is "genderless"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermasculinity

lol@wiki "Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers"

[D'Aquisto]

Going by the local facility tonight I saw a group doing some brutal sets of thrusters with PVC. Between that and the jogs around the block I don't understand why more aren't blowing up the Olympic track and field qualifiers and crushing the NFL combine.

[POD]

Bingo RQ
Ready Fire Aim again PD

Ah. In that case, my apologies for jumping to (reasonable) conclusions.

[LiftHeavyShit]

In today's comments,

Previously, Glassman stated that it's common for his crew to hit 500 to 700 pounds in the deadlift, but it seems that the real world data here suggests otherwise. He often highlights the importance of real world data, so where is it?

Also, I'd love to see Greg's numbers. Not long ago he boldly said, "I was the original CrossFitter and I can, at 49, still outperform more CrossFitters than not."

Please don't attack the messenger here. I am simply looking for real world data. I'm open to Crossfit, but am in the due diligence phase before diving in headfirst.
Comment #114 - Posted by: Oliver Pansoff at April 22, 2009 5:02 AM

I'm sure it won't last long. Creative name for whoever the fuck posted it.

[Anon]

Bingo RQ
Ready Fire Aim again PD

Ah. In that case, my apologies for jumping to (reasonable) conclusions.

We are not all out to get you, just most of us.

[Gin Master]

Oliver Pansoff

IIRC, Couch made some of these claims in the early years of the program, i.e. before Rip, Burg, and other real guys came aboard. Those who know him claim that Couch didn't know shit about the lifts and still doesn't (I know it goes without saying, but...). They've reigned him in on these comments, so now he talks about parabolas, spinning tops around the Y-axis and other opiate induced physics crap.

I like to keep my hate timely. We need an IGX pledge to build a timeline of cooch's gin-soaked quotes. Patty?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

As I've said before, that one single datapoint couch based his 700 deadlift figure on was a monster judo player he trained for a while, who could DL in the mid 600s before he was ever trained by couch. They eventually parted ways, because couch insisted that improving the benchmark WODs would improve his performance but the judo player had issues with the WOD stuff sapping his energy for actual judo.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

If you check the early Crossfit journals, you'll find couch describing how to do the deadlift as essentially a squat holding the bar in your hands. This was scoffed at early and often by more knowledgeable folks, and Rip cleaned that shit up right quick when he came along.

[the fearless freep]

Maybe if you posted the appropriate pics...

She definitely has an ass you could bounce a quarter off of.

[The Real Rant]

Excellent flow chart.

[Sofa King]

The genderless ideal of the top female @Fers...

I dispute that their ideal is "genderless"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermasculinity

lol@wiki "Wendy's Old Fashioned Hamburgers"

Lesbian porn is a sign of hypermasculinity? But I loves me some lesboporn.
Guess I'll start listening to hip hop. It'll make the @fit videos more fun to watch.

[Kraj]

Maybe if you posted the appropriate pics...

She definitely has an ass you could bounce a quarter off of.

She's got an ass you can bounce your homosexuality off of. The chick is a wreck. You'll probably find equine steroids in her night stand, right next to her chlamydia medication, her XXXL AC-powered dildo, and her candlelit altar to that Brandon douche.

[Turdacious]

Why the hell would anyone want to stay around after long enough to look in her nightstand?

[Anon]

Why the hell would anyone want to stay around after long enough to look in her nightstand?

Oh, I read that as a euphemism for anal sex, my bad.