The couch thread

[GoDogGo!]

And how in the fuck can you claim to be and "Elite" athlete if you can't be bother to put out the fucking effort to squeeze a fucking spring clamp enough to put it on the bar?

It's not lack of effort, EZ, the kweers can't squeeze them. They're not Adam T Glass, ya know?

Please tell me that these are some kind of special hi-strength spring clamps with which I am not familiar. Please.

[Anon]

The only reason to visit the crossfit forum, is from linking from this discussion.

Thanks to those that find this shit, for the filtering, that is.

What a fucking homo (referring to the dating dude a few posts up).

[Holland Oates]

And how in the fuck can you claim to be and "Elite" athlete if you can't be bother to put out the fucking effort to squeeze a fucking spring clamp enough to put it on the bar?

It's not lack of effort, EZ, the kweers can't squeeze them. They're not Adam T Glass, ya know?

Please tell me that these are some kind of special hi-strength spring clamps with which I am not familiar. Please.

I don't think so.

[JohnnyBadAss]

I think it would be hard to find a cf chick, a very small pool to draw from. But you'll have to put more time in at your affiliate before and after, and at other events held by your affiliate. Become a trainer?

But should be able to find someone interested in fitness. I think plentyoffish.com is pretty good.

Yeah, especially when you've got to catch them before they change into men.

Of course, if you've both been training long enough, you can just swap your tux for her dress at the wedding, and nobody will be any the wiser.

Nice work POD. After hundreds of posts, you made a funny.

[The Nightman]

And how in the fuck can you claim to be and "Elite" athlete if you can't be bother to put out the fucking effort to squeeze a fucking spring clamp enough to put it on the bar?

It's not lack of effort, EZ, the kweers can't squeeze them. They're not Adam T Glass, ya know?

Please tell me that these are some kind of special hi-strength spring clamps with which I am not familiar. Please.

I don't think so.

If Ironmind ever jumps on the @f bandwagon, those could be the CoC @F addition. Just make the handle aluminum and there you go. It would be the main modal domain to train for the arm wrestling cert.

[WildGorillaMan]

And how in the fuck can you claim to be and "Elite" athlete if you can't be bother to put out the fucking effort to squeeze a fucking spring clamp enough to put it on the bar?

It's not lack of effort, EZ, the kweers can't squeeze them. They're not Adam T Glass, ya know?

Please tell me that these are some kind of special hi-strength spring clamps with which I am not familiar. Please.

At the gym I used to go to I saw a dude who, in retrospect, fit the @fit profile who was doing some sort of half-assed circuit training. At one point he grabbed a pair of spring collars and used them gripper style. He actually got red faced and started huffing as he repped out on them.

This was before I knew that @fit even existed, so at the time I thought he was some anomalous weirdo weakling.

[GoDogGo!]

If Ironmind ever jumps on the @f bandwagon, those could be the CoC @F addition. Just make the handle PVC and there you go. It would be the main modal domain to train for the arm wrestling cert.

Fixed.

[Holland Oates]

If Ironmind ever jumps on the @f bandwagon, those could be the CoC @F addition. Just make the handle PVC and there you go. It would be the main modal domain to train for the arm wrestling cert.

Fixed.

[Sassenach]

Had I not bothered to click through, I would have missed this gem...

[Anon]

Had I not bothered to click through, I would have missed this gem...

Help a brother out, are you distgusted or turned on? You wanna spank that ink?

[Sassenach]

Help a brother out, are you distgusted or turned on? You wanna spank that ink?

Confused as to why she'd have it put there. I hear the theme from Deliverance looking at that picture.

[Crust Bucket]

Yikes that chick looks disturbing, I guess it's just too damn early to be dealing with such a mess on a Saturday morning.

[Kraj]

A chick's hips have to be as wide or wider than her shoulders. That's the crucial ratio of femininity. All these CrossFit chicks seem to have thrown that out the window, though, in favor of eliteness (a.k.a. looking like a fuckin' roided up tranny).

[T200]

We must make sacrifices to be the best, Kraj.

[Anon]

Help a brother out, are you distgusted or turned on? You wanna spank that ink?

Confused as to why she'd have it put there. I hear the theme from Deliverance looking at that picture.

Ain't she got pretty teeth?

[Kraj]

We must make sacrifices to be the best, Kraj.

Sweet. I didn't know Will Ferrell trains with kettlebells.

[T200]

So what does a faggot who comes up in the @Fit school of elite fitness come up with when left to his own devices for training?

How about this nonsense...

heres a nearly impossible workout i created. props to anybody who can do it in 45 mins. (im just starting out with bodyweight, just did weight training for like 4 months.) so its a challenge, i finished in 57 mins the first time.

45 mins of hell workout:
1 minute: Jumping Jacks
1 minute: Push up Burpees
1 minute walking pushups (2 push ups, shift left 2 pushups, shift etc for 5, shift right for 5)
1 minute straight jumps bringing knees into chest.
25 second break

30 seconds 10 rep bench press.
1 minute jumping jacks
1 minute butt up push ups.
1 minute jumping jack planks
1 minute shadow boxing
1 minute jump bring thighs up
30 seconds 10 rep bench press
1 minute break

1 minute knee to elbows.
30 seconds crunches
45 seconds pushups
1 minutes jumping jacks
2 minute plank
30 second 10 rep bench press
30 second rest


1 minute tricep pushups
1 minute jumping jacks
1 minute jumps
30 seconds burpees
30 seconds straight pushups
30 seconds wide grip pushups
1 minute plank bringing knees into chest constantly

1 minute sprint in place
1 minute walking pushups (push up, shift left for 5, shift right for 5)
2 minute plank.
1 minute worth of pushups
30 sec bench press
90 second rest

1 minute pushups
1 minute jumps
1 minute plank
1 minute abs
1 minute burpees
1 minute break

bench press 1 minute
150 seconds of abs
150 seconds of jumping jacks
5 minutes punching bag.
5 minutes stretching.
workout complete.. good job lol.

This is him too...

How to get my pull up numbers up as well as fitness numbers?

i can only do 4 pull ups from a dead hang and 10 chin ups.
im doing this for a month to get my strength up and endurance so i can be able to complete some of the crossfit workouts

how can i get these numbers up fast.

i do a 45 min workout every day

monday: Bench press for chest and triceps.. then 45 minute cardio workout involving pushups burpees and jumping jacks and other stuff. (shoulders are included in this workout.)

Tuesday: 30 minute cardio workout with jump rope, jumping jacks, and running.

wednesday: Pull ups and bicep curls for increasing pull ups. then lat pull downs and rows and stuff. if i cant make it to the gym. then just a pull up workout like 5xmax chins, 5xmax wide grip chins, 5x max wide grip pull ups, 5x max close grip pull ups. some barbell curls. then some cardio.

thursday: 30 minute cardio workout with jump rope, jumping jacks, and running.

friday: full body workout. (jumps for legs, pushups for chest and tris, pull ups for back and bis) and bench press curls and bodyweight sqauts and stuff.

weekends. 10 min jog each day (these are just basically rest days)

[Herv100]

Between that and the Rhabdo guy from the other thread... Just fucking wow.

[Hamper]

The chick on the left has bigger tits!

[Crust Bucket]

Yeah but who's the dude on the right?

[WildGorillaMan]

Yeah but who's the dude on the right?

I dunno, but that's a pretty severe case of gyno.

[Fish]

So what does a faggot who comes up in the @Fit school of elite fitness come up with when left to his own devices for training?

How about this nonsense...

heres a nearly impossible workout i created. props to anybody who can do it in 45 mins. (im just starting out with bodyweight, just did weight training for like 4 months.) so its a challenge, i finished in 57 mins the first time.

45 mins of hell workout:
1 minute: Jumping Jacks
1 minute: Push up Burpees
1 minute walking pushups (2 push ups, shift left 2 pushups, shift etc for 5, shift right for 5)
1 minute straight jumps bringing knees into chest.
25 second break

30 seconds 10 rep bench press.
1 minute jumping jacks
1 minute butt up push ups.
1 minute jumping jack planks
1 minute shadow boxing
1 minute jump bring thighs up
30 seconds 10 rep bench press
1 minute break

1 minute knee to elbows.
30 seconds crunches
45 seconds pushups
1 minutes jumping jacks
2 minute plank
30 second 10 rep bench press
30 second rest


1 minute tricep pushups
1 minute jumping jacks
1 minute jumps
30 seconds burpees
30 seconds straight pushups
30 seconds wide grip pushups
1 minute plank bringing knees into chest constantly

1 minute sprint in place
1 minute walking pushups (push up, shift left for 5, shift right for 5)
2 minute plank.
1 minute worth of pushups
30 sec bench press
90 second rest

1 minute pushups
1 minute jumps
1 minute plank
1 minute abs
1 minute burpees
1 minute break

bench press 1 minute
150 seconds of abs
150 seconds of jumping jacks
5 minutes punching bag.
5 minutes stretching.
workout complete.. good job lol.

That seems kind of like something Ross Enamait would put out. I don't think that would actually be that bad for GPP. I thought some of the responses on that thread were funnier.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Did you dump that bitch, Fish? Please say yes!

[GoDogGo!]

Did you dump that bitch, Fish? Please say yes!

She started giving up the Back Door Love and he was a goner.

[Shaun B. O'Murnecan]

Did you dump that bitch, Fish? Please say yes!

She started giving up the Back Door Love and he was a goner.

Sorry, but I think we all know who wears the strap-on in that relationship.