The couch thread

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:00 pm

Allison NYC
AKA TitsNYC, ANYC, Barky

Brilliance.

T-L · Post by **T-L** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:18 pm

Excellent post. I agree with the previous post about making it a sticky note. I don't know how to do this, but making a wiki would be a good idea. Allow only members of the forum access and it can be updated on a regular basis. i seem to remember several who have the computer knowledge to do this.

T-L · Post by **T-L** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:20 pm

Hmmmm, I misunderstood the whole andro thing too. I guess my misunderstanding was ok tho as most seemed to like Miss Brit.

Please find Miss Katy R from Karma Crossfit, Manhattan Beach, CA.

Dan Martin · Post by **Dan Martin** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:23 pm

My understanding is that Couch started as a "Zone Coach" before he gave birth to CrossFit.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:30 pm

Androgen Friday is a celebration, and all are welcome. From the perky ectomorph girls who just do a little 'var to bring out their abs but still have a cute butt all the way to the full blown mesomorph broads who've gone on the pin and now take more Winnie than the first three finishers at the Kentucky Derby put together, and all the other girls who are in between.

The Schmoe must go on!

T-L · Post by **T-L** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:41 pm

Lurkers are now taking to the @F boards.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... post714415

Today I noticed I approved a 'friend' request on Facebook. It is a mentally retarded, degenerate scum bag who has extremely low self esteem and (I am told by his previous girl and boyfriends) he has an incredibly small sex organ.

He goes by the name Couch Crassman and he takes great pride in mocking my profession, product and Coach Glassman.

Jettison this vermin from your 'friends' list if he (it) slithered it's way into your facebook.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:54 pm

I know that a guy named Shafley was banned over there, but don't know why?
After all, he is a pajama-clad postulator.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:56 pm

Today I noticed I approved a 'friend' request on Facebook. It is a mentally retarded, degenerate scum bag who has extremely low self esteem and (I am told by his previous girl and boyfriends) he has an incredibly small sex organ.

He goes by the name Couch Crassman and he takes great pride in mocking my profession, product and Coach Glassman.

Jettison this vermin from your 'friends' list if he (it) slithered it's way into your facebook.

Skip can BLOW ME! I saw this and pissed myself. IT IS A FUCKING JOKE, but 189 people "approved" friendship. Barky, Sage and Coach B "unfriended" and many elite (Petranek, Skip Chase, Lugo, Kenny Castro) declined. Aimee Anaya and Rob Wolf are supportersand Rut and Hacklemen are friends. I'm surprised couch's legal team hasn't stepped in. Tools

bell · Post by **bell** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:25 pm

Anon wrote:Comprehensive list of character assassinations:

Personally handed out by the Couch:
Dan John - No squat
Mike Caviston - No Deadlift (did he not get a main page thrashing when the lifted a log in a video?)
Mark Twight - Plagiarizer, Thief
Josh Hillis - Liar, incredibly weak performer
Jack - super-obese, incredibly weak performer
Stephen - 26 minute Fran, incredibly weak performer
Robb Wolf - Non-Scientist, Driven by personal agenda
Garrett Smith - Quack
Greg Everett -
POD -
BOTO -
-others ?

Delivered by his employees, agents, minions or lackeys
George Mounce - Ethical and Integrity Violations
- others

I have to be missing some, and some details...help.

one day you're in - the next day you're out...see below:

: the truth.JPG (169.15 KiB) Viewed 8469 times

: the truth.JPG (169.15 KiB) Viewed 8469 times

Volume Knob Goes To 11 · Sun Dec 27, 2009 8:34 pm

BTU wrote: Lisa Lugo
AKA Leesa

Couch’s current bit on the side after she traded in her hubby, ex-SEAL Eddie, for Couch’s magnificence. Eddie has been quiet of late, and hope remains that he’s simply tooling up and preparing for a raid on Prescott, AZ. Lisa, meanwhile, has converted her ample charms into an ample salary as an HQ employee. Well played.

Hmmm. Maybe a clue why Rip departed HQ... ("Rippetoe, git yer [hiccup, burp] hands off her broad [hiccup] domains")

ab g-d · Post by **ab g-d** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:15 pm

A Marine/RKC I trained the SEALS with just sent me this....not sure if it's made this thread already, but if it has no doubt it's worth a double post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsTbas5N ... re=related

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:48 pm

Volume Knob Goes To 11 wrote:
BTU wrote: Lisa Lugo
AKA Leesa

Couch’s current bit on the side after she traded in her hubby, ex-SEAL Eddie, for Couch’s magnificence. Eddie has been quiet of late, and hope remains that he’s simply tooling up and preparing for a raid on Prescott, AZ. Lisa, meanwhile, has converted her ample charms into an ample salary as an HQ employee. Well played.
Hmmm. Maybe a clue why Rip departed HQ... ("Rippetoe, git yer [hiccup, burp] hands off her broad [hiccup] domains")

"The squat and DL are most overcoached and underperformed exercises in the gym."

Even worse in a @fit environment and even worse with 10lb BFS plates.

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 9:52 pm

Anon wrote:Comprehensive list of character assassinations:

Personally handed out by the Couch:
Dan John - No squat
Mike Caviston - No Deadlift (did he not get a main page thrashing when the lifted a log in a video?)
Mark Twight - Plagiarizer, Thief
Josh Hillis - Liar, incredibly weak performer
Jack - super-obese, incredibly weak performer
Stephen - 26 minute Fran, incredibly weak performer
Robb Wolf - Non-Scientist, Driven by personal agenda
Garrett Smith - Quack
Greg Everett -
POD -
BOTO -
-others ?

Delivered by his employees, agents, minions or lackeys
George Mounce - Ethical and Integrity Violations
- others

I have to be missing some, and some details...help.

Glad to see my name on the list. Oh those screenshots were soooo fun to take to have the best ban title on the CF forums ever, I know the mods on the forums still cringe when they are brought up. Perhaps all the lurkers need a refresher on WHY the forums over there are the way they are.

http://www.mediafire.com/?3nyk3zbjwau

rjudo · Post by **rjudo** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:04 pm

ab g-d wrote:A Marine/RKC I trained the SEALS with just sent me this....not sure if it's made this thread already, but if it has no doubt it's worth a double post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsTbas5N ... re=related

Try to keep up Bill. It is your baby, after all.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:06 pm

That nigger Alex Europa is still running around the @Fit Caviston thread like a maniac. He is hilarious.

One of you new posters/@Fit defectors needs to throw together a Best of Alex Europa piece and post it here. I scanned a few of his most recent posts and this dude is a Grade A Fuckface constantly.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:29 pm

Some nice Andro-lite in some of these chicks but aside from that this video is a gigantic piece of fagism...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sw5ky-5zcg[/youtube]

POD · Post by **POD** » Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:32 pm

Glassassination

I don't recall ever hearing that term before, but I like it.

I was never subject to any character assassinations or rambling insults from Couch; I was too small of a player. When I jumped in around pg200 here, I never even saw my name mentioned in any of the posts leading up to that, which is something I'm pretty happy about.

Guys, if you want to quote large masses of text, you can wrap the quote in spoiler tags.

louburr · Post by **louburr** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:29 am

I think Eddie Lugo is probably happy to be rid of that nut job lisa at this point.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:32 am

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:44 am

The Unflushable DEATHTURD wrote:

Yes - @ssfit
http://www.crossfitlasvegas.com/uploads ... sangel.jpg

Anyone know the backstory on Joe Marsh? Resume:

Joe received his bachelor's degree in Exercise Science from Northern Illinois University and has been in the fitness industry since 2001. After finding CrossFit in 2006, he came to the realization that any other exercise methodology was a waste of time. His commitment to proper technique and movement patterns is unparalleled. Joe heads the "CrossFit KIDS!" program and "Elements" course at CFLV.

•CrossFit Level 2 Certified
•CrossFit Gymnastics Certification
•CrossFit KIDS Certified
•CrossFit Running/Endurance Certification
•NSCA - CSCS
•ASCM - CPT

Is he one that is just laying low cashing in on the trademark? He used to be fairly active on the @ssfit forum back in teh day.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:27 am

louburr wrote:I think Eddie Lugo is probably happy to be rid of that nut job lisa at this point.

Go on . . .

If you're going to come in and say shit like this, have the bawls to back it up with an anecdote.

That's a short, meaningful story to all you @fitters.

T-L · Post by **T-L** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:14 am

Seems the Couch - Caviston thing has been ongoing for a while. Character assissination is the first and foremost method of having an open and honest discussion. If the Couch truely didn't want Naval (or armed forces support) then wtf does he even bother to discuss this publically?

From the Couch.

Mike Caviston has repeatedly stated that "CrossFit is the leading cause of injuries in the Teams", but when confronted by Team guys he could neither offer a source for his claim nor could he name a single CF casualty. The BUD/S record shows indisputably that there were no PT injuries associated with CF in what is one of the better tests of CF implementation to date. I think Mr. Calviston lied, ie, his statements are known to him to be false.

Mike Caviston has complained to the Navy that we are advertising that the Navy has endorsed CF. Not only is this entirely untrue, but I neither want nor need Navy endorsement. I WOULD NOT TAKE US Navy endorsement were it offered. The Navy brand is tainted by absurd alliances in the fitness industry and I'd prefer no association with these failed and failing fitness efforts. My commitment is to the shooter/sailor/soldier not the organization. His complaint about us claiming Navy endorsement is, I believe, another example of Mike Caviston lying - deliberately making claims he knows to be false. Perhaps he's not lying, but his desperation to find relevance in the face of the CrossFit groundswell at BUD/S has motivated a reckless disregard for the truth.

It obviously seems unusual, even disreputable, to many of you that we'd take on a seemingly swell guy like Mr. Caviston for what probably seems like no apparent reason. Truth is there are thousands of bad deadlifts to be found on the Net, but this is a very special case.

Here's what up. I've got a civilian fitness "expert", like myself, holding contract with the Navy, protecting his rice bowl, not with superior programming and attendant results/adaptations but with lies and distortions while his own skills, knowledge, efforts, and results are not only substantially below industry standards but recklessly irresponsible.

Mr. Calviston took our L1 cert and struggled through the whole thing. He is not, nor should he be a teacher of human movement. It was clear he'd never squatted, deadlifted, cleaned, or pressed. It was also perfectly clear that he'd never seen these exercises taught before. That's OK, everyone has to start somewhere, but when you add to this the fact that he is publicly demonstrating on public websites technique for the deadlift (it's dumb to suggest that this video is not a deadlift demo, Matt from Oz) depicting profoundly unsound and unsafe biomechanics while he repeatedly and falsely distorts the CF record, I have an obligation to expose the man. I've sat on this for more than a year and the less I say, the more I ignore the lies and attacks, the more frequent and egregious they become. This is a clear example of dishonest and unprofessional conduct being amplified and encouraged by a lack of defending response.

Let me be perfectly clear about this: teaching prospective BUD/S students, or anyone else, to pick up a log, or anything else, in this manner is dangerous. It is unprofessional. It is proof of inadequate training and education. This little bit of video is compelling and irrefutable evidence that the demonstrator does not understand the fundamentals and essentials of biomechanics. He needs more training, desperately, and immediately. He could also benefit from a course on business and general ethics.

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/004644.html

Are John Brown and Asstro butt buddies?

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:16 am

[quote][Up until then, we’d had a good amount of people following our programming on line. CrossFitters and exercise enthusiasts from all across the country (and across the pond) were posting after workouts like Overhead Math and the Sissy Test. But come week three of the PTP program, all but a few loyalists had abandoned our workouts. When we asked why, people commented, “the workouts got boring,” or “it seemed too easy,” or “I missed my met-cons.” Fair enough, maybe… but also a crying shame. Because the people who DID stick around put up to 25# on their deadlift and 20# on their press in just two months. And on top of that, they PR’d workouts like “Cindy”, put weight on their clean and jerks and got a lot more comfortable under (or over) a heavy barbell. Boring or not, the PTP program worked, and the people who saw it through reaped the benefits./quote]

This is where @fiters eat their words. They claim they want performance, but I see this same thing over and over. It was like one of their gurus said you will always perform better at a higher body fat than you will look good at. I think the numbers were ripped at 8-10%, but fire breather at 12-13% and skinny fags wouldn't budge on it.

: Urban.jpg (13.61 KiB) Viewed 8247 times

I wish she would get some more pix

wtfmate · Post by **wtfmate** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:36 am

This is the video the couch likes to use in his analysis of Mike Caviston.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/SEAL ... tVideo.wmv

Specifically at 1:10. He likes to bitch about the round back. Oh no, the man lifted one log with a round back.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:38 am

Mr. Calviston took our L1 cert and struggled through the whole thing.

What bullshit. It's an L1, not advanced calculus. As long as you have a pulse and a body temperature over 86-degrees you'll pass and get your cute little certification.

IGX

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