The couch thread

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:35 pm

protobuilder wrote:It stands to reason that if you can do 50 glute-ham raise situps + 50 kipping pullups for time, you can throw a softball very far after only throwing a softball 3-4 times a year.

Their domination of the softball long-toss will be demonstrated on the field, not in debate thank you very much.

RudyK · Post by **RudyK** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:37 pm

Softball throw? How about a punt, pass and kick comp.... I can't wait to find out which @fitters throw like bitches! How much respect will you earn if you win the games but throw a ball like a fucking puss!

"He sure can @fit but damn he looks like he takes it in the ass when he throws a ball"

Songjabong · Post by **Songjabong** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:42 pm

Dan Martin wrote:I'm predicting some serious shoulder/elbow blow-outs because of the softball toss.

^this^ hell, how many of us have fucked up our elbows throwing the football around as we get older, and we grew up doing it?

the ocean swim really is going to be interesting. i'm actually in LA tomorrow afternoon anyway, i'm tempted to get up there early just to swing by the beach and witness the carnage. but that's a half day commitment since they start so early.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 10:58 pm

Let's see how the @Fers can do against Maryland's best senior citizens:
http://www.mdseniorolympics.org/pdf/mso ... ds2009.pdf

SOFTBALL THROW - MEN
50-54 Bill Walsh 255-05.00 1996
55-59 James Kenney 234-10.00 2000
60-64 James Kenney 230-00.00 2002
65-69 James Kenney 211-07.00 2009
70-74 Charles McGarvey 177-08.00 1993
75-79 Charles McGarvey 151-10.00 1998
80-84 Edward Murphy 129-00.00 2004
85-89 John Ey 110-03.00 1994
90-94 Glen Olsen 56-00.00 2004

SOFTBALL THROW - WOMEN
50-54 Patricia Stephenson 160-00.00 2000
55-59 Patricia Stephenson 156-00.00 2004
60-64 Helen Boyd 132-07.00 1997
65-69 Nancy Callan 123-10.00 1999
70-74 Mary Clark 103-10.00 1996
75-79 Nancy Callan 96-00.00 2009
80-84 Kate Kwitkoski 68-09.00 2005
85-89 Wally Dashiell 51-01.00 2009
90-94 Elizabeth Evans 37-02.50 1995

Or a second grader:
http://www.townschool.com/athletics/pdf ... s_2006.pdf

SECOND GRADE
Softball Throw 123 ft. 3 in. Danny Braun 1975

My guess is that the cover-up this year won't be devoted to PEDs (they're doing "random" testing, LULz), it will be devoted to covering up the massive number of @Fers injured in this spectacle.

Almost forgot. The number of folks not finishing the 5-yard handstand walk will be very high, and could make for some entertaining falls through their "efforts" to "give it their all".

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:23 pm

Dan Martin wrote:I'm hoping some serious shoulder/elbow blow-outs because of the softball toss.

$\:D/$

can't wait to see how many don't match the records of those old bastards/

Songjabong · Post by **Songjabong** » Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:24 pm

lulz: 1550 pacific coast highway is in Venice, not Santa Monica, and it's at least a mile inland from the beach. i predict a clusterfuck.

Sandman · Post by **Sandman** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:02 am

Dan Martin wrote:I'm predicting some serious shoulder/elbow blow-outs because of the softball toss.

Do they make PVC softballs?...I mean so people can train for this and groove proper technique.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:17 am

The punchlines are pretty much writing themselves this weekend.

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:19 am

Sandman wrote:
Do they make PVC softballs?...I mean so people can train for this and groove proper technique.

Damn they make it easy...

ThespianDouche · Post by **ThespianDouche** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:30 am

What is the going markup for "tactical" softballs? Is there a manufacturer of military grade softballs?

I can't wait for the insipid pictures of CFers playing catch in Yosemite.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 3:58 am

At this rate, I half expect skills event 4 to include carrying a bag of groceries.

You know damn well the softball throw was Glasshole's drunken contribution. The braintrust at HQ thought they had his gin-soaked ass locked out but in he stumbled right as they were shuffling the deck of random WODs....

Couch: (stumbles in from stage right) "howzabout theyz throw a ball guise??....."

.... crickets .....

Couch: (rubbing hairline with palm) "I know! A SOFT ball!!! And theeeeeeylll throww it! As fur as posblembjmhmph"

Castro nods vigorously.

kreator · Post by **kreator** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:54 am

I'm waiting for:

birthday cake, max candles blown out in 2 breaths.

After all, there should be more birthparty and less of this physics crap.

And that's real world application right there -- makes all your wishes come true.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:09 am

Some of the less athletic dudes might be thinking this:

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:50 am

protobuilder wrote:I'd bet a dollar to a doughnut some d-bags are comparing the weight of a softball to the weight of a grenade to justify this event.

Also, when was the last time ANYONE, including LEO, SpecOps, gymNASTS, had to walk on their hands for max time and distance? Was there some rare firefight in Falluja where a now-famous Sergeant handstand walked his way out of an alley full of insurgents?

You are a man with vision;

Tell you what. This might be surprisingly difficult for some. Maybe even some who have commented here. A lot of these folks probably haven't thrown anything in a looooong time. And since throwing requires strength accuracy and coordination, it does fall within the Crossfit definition of fitness. So snicker tho you will, just imagine this is a grenade toss in wartime and the applicability becomes less specious

That's a quote from a response to WGM's FB post trolling for a train wreck.

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 5:55 am

Skills event 4:

friedquads · Post by **friedquads** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 8:03 am

Alternate event:

Steggy · Post by **Steggy** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:08 am

Reebok will be selling an official CF Games softball, price $50.

If they aren't doing that they should, and laugh all the way to the bank at the CF'ers purchasing them at the games.

Damien · Post by **Damien** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:31 am

Dan Martin wrote:I'm predicting some serious shoulder/elbow blow-outs because of the softball toss.

Seriously.
You have a clusterfuck swim, followed by a bunch of pull-ups. THen on the next day a throws for max distance of a light implement, followed by heavy pull-ups and then snatches with shit-awfull form, elbow bend and whatnot...

*grabs popcorn*

rjudo · Post by **rjudo** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 10:29 am

This is the old saying 'truth is stranger than fiction'. For fuck sake, you couldn't make this shit up. It'll be a high speed trainwreck in 3D and technicolor.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:09 am

Sandman wrote:
Dan Martin wrote:I'm predicting some serious shoulder/elbow blow-outs because of the softball toss.
Do they make PVC softballs?...I mean so people can train for this and groove proper technique.

Not PVC, but close enough.

ThespianDouche · Post by **ThespianDouche** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:49 pm

"I don't get why people are making fun of the softball throw. A softball is similar in size and weight to a typical hand grenade. Ask any specops operator how important the ability to throw a grenade is, and I guarantee you won't question the validity of the softball throw. Do we know if any specops guys made it to the finals? I predict they'll sweep the softball event."

http://games.crossfit.com/features/indi ... -announced

I would think they picked a softball because it is a standardized object which is easily replicable and available to just about anybody who wants to try. It could just as well be a grenade.

And folks shouldn't knock it, it is an Olympic sport, after all (WFS).

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... 040&page=4

Good call.

Herv100 · Post by **Herv100** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:57 pm

LOL. I really hate these people

The Crawdaddy · Post by **The Crawdaddy** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:04 pm

Maybe we can just let them all sit on a real grenade.

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:33 pm

ThespianDouche wrote:
I would think they picked a softball because it is a standardized object which is easily replicable and available to just about anybody who wants to try. It could just as well be a grenade.

And folks shouldn't knock it, it is an Olympic sport, after all (WFS).
http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... 040&page=4

Good call.

I wonder if the guy that mentioned the softball throw as an Olympic sport realizes the irony that he's linking to the Special Olympics website.

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Fri Jul 29, 2011 1:47 pm

I assume the comment referring to grenades is an IGXer.

IGX

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