The couch thread

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Mountebank
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

LOL. Mainpage offered up a sprint triathlon wAd.
http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/008425.html

And in true @Fer form...
Did this last weekend... 1st sprint triathlon and got beaten by people in their 70's. 30 mph winds and lots of hills. Swim was in a lake.
1:38:59 rx
At least she finished...I'd guess there will be lots of DNFs on the swim (go @FE! show em what you're made of!).

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Hymen Asshole
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Hymen Asshole »

Maybe it's time to invest in a pool company, I'm sure all the fashionable @bok boxes will soon want to have pools


TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

All of you people slamming on HQ for this working are f!@#ing clueless. Occasionally life might require that you perform some crazy combination like this. Maybe this more of a test than preparation.

Comment #61 - Posted by: anon at June 13, 2012 9:12 PM
I guess I could see a scenario when life may require you to run, swim, then ride a bike. Like in a Pacific rim country, you may see a tsunami coming...RUUUUNNNN!!! oh SHIIIIITTTTTT!!!!! you're being swept out to sea!!!! SWWIIIIIIIMMMMMM!!!!!!!! Oh thank God! You made it back to dry land. Quick! Grab that bike! Let's get the fuck out of here!!!!! PEDDLEPEDDLEPEDDLE!!!!!!

thanks Couch!
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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tzg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by tzg »

protobuilder wrote:
All of you people slamming on HQ for this working are f!@#ing clueless. Occasionally life might require that you perform some crazy combination like this. Maybe this more of a test than preparation.

Comment #61 - Posted by: anon at June 13, 2012 9:12 PM
I guess I could see a scenario when life may require you to run, swim, then ride a bike. Like in a Pacific rim country, you may see a tsunami coming...RUUUUNNNN!!! oh SHIIIIITTTTTT!!!!! you're being swept out to sea!!!! SWWIIIIIIIMMMMMM!!!!!!!! Oh thank God! You made it back to dry land. Quick! Grab that bike! Let's get the fuck out of here!!!!! PEDDLEPEDDLEPEDDLE!!!!!!

thanks Couch!
WRONG ORDER. That is NOT FUNCTIONAL.

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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

They market as fitness for everyone and then throw up a workout like that?

Sure its "scalable" but how many people really have access to a pool to do that.

I wonder how many people subbed bear crawls for the swim

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Totally functional, so stop your bellyaching.

http://bicycling.com/blogs/thehub/2011/ ... m-the-law/

Suspect Fails to Bike, Run, and Swim from the Law

By Caitlin Giddings

An unlikely triathlete put his well-rounded athleticism to ill use last Friday when he biked, ran, and swam from the pursuit of Wisconsin law enforcement officers. Teenage triple threat Benjamin J. Solchenburger, 18, was accused of stealing a truck, crashing a truck, and stealing a bike in Wausau before his apprehension and subsequent multi-sport chase.

Shirking traditional triathlon order, Solchenburger first took off on the stolen bike. With police in hot pursuit, the young suspect then abandoned the bike for the running portion of his intended tri-sport escape. Eventually, he took to the Wisconsin River and swam across it for the final stretch.

He was promptly arrested on shore and held at the fittingly named Marathon County Jail on charges of vehicle theft, obstructing an officer, and violating the terms of his probation. Solchenburger’s official time has yet to be reported, but it’s suspected he may have set a personal record.

A special thanks to our friends at Runner’s World for tipping us off to the young triathlete.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

Bad daddy.jpg
Bad daddy.jpg (27.02 KiB) Viewed 8452 times
Because putting your own selfish needs to be an attention whore ahead of the safety of your kids is the hallmark of a @fit dad!
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The Cunning Stunt
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Cunning Stunt »

Jay wrote:They market as fitness for everyone and then throw up a workout like that?

Sure its "scalable" but how many people really have access to a pool to do that.

I wonder how many people subbed bear crawls for the swim
Most people should spend a solid six months practicing swimming in an empty pool before they try actually swimming in water.

This allows them to hone their technique.

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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

ecalpal wrote:
Jay wrote:They market as fitness for everyone and then throw up a workout like that?

Sure its "scalable" but how many people really have access to a pool to do that.

I wonder how many people subbed bear crawls for the swim
Most people should spend a solid six months practicing swimming in an empty pool before they try actually swimming in water.

This allows them to hone their technique.
That's a good plan actually... never know when you have to swim with no water... unknown and unknowable

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kreator
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Re: The couch thread

Post by kreator »

I just lost all respect for Rob Orlando as a trainer/coach:
http://journal.crossfit.com/2012/06/per ... ensity.tpl



I thought this guy was one of the last sane ones involved in CF. Nope - he's a full-on moron.

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Holland Oates
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Holland Oates »

You should read the shit in his M&F column.

I've learned not to take advice from "outliers"(sp?) or freaks no matter how much I wish I was like them.

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syaigh
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Re: The couch thread

Post by syaigh »

“If it’s flawless, it’s not fast enough,” Orlando tells him. “If the question is, ‘How do I get from a five-minute Fran to a three-minute Fran?’ … you don’t need to be much stronger. You need to be more willing to hurt.”

The change amounts to a mental one, not a physical one, Orlando explains. Good adaptation happens in intensity, he adds.
WHAT???!!!!
“You can’t do a two-and-a-half-minute Fran under control—it’s full speed,” Orlando says.

Click here for more information and a list of upcoming CrossFit Strongman Trainer Courses.
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TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

“You can’t do a two-and-a-half-minute Fran under control—it’s full speed,” Orlando says.
Thanks Orlando for succintly describing the entire problem with Crossfit in one neat sentence.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

Rob, say it ain't so... :(

I like Rob, great guy, class act and strong as shit...

Sucks to see him say that when his background and pedigree is what it is...

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Damien
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Damien »

“You can’t do a two-and-a-half-minute Fran under control—it’s full speed,” Orlando says.
"You can't throw a discus under control - it's full speed"
"You can't deliver a hook punch under control - it's full speed"
"You can't jump for distance under control - it's full speed"
"You can't do a 40 yard dash under control - it's full speed"

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Orlando...yeah


Mountebank
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

Even bigger lulz on the Orlando thing is that the @F wonder boy Froning has the best form out of any of them while kicking their asses.


I dig big chicks
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Re: The couch thread

Post by I dig big chicks »

A friend of mine did the @fit Football "Occupy Strength" meet in Baltimore this weekend (friends of hers needed a woman on their team and asked her). She did okay, weighing 130 and squatting 200 (miss 210), PC 135, Bench 120, and DL 300 (miss 310); she did the conditioning workout and finished in the middle despite not doing any non lifting related cardio in a year. This is her report:

Ha, the whole thing was a cluster fuck, warmed up on a combination of kilos and pounds, sometimes on a mens bar, **** bitching about having to use a "chicks" bar, creepy ex staring (and walking around with no shirt on but a backpack - all athlete were wearing shirts).... and **** tried to get me to not squat so deep, yeah wasn't gonna mix up my squat for the final attempt. Oh, and we warmed up on platforms but lifted off the rubber floor.... so very crossfit.

The plates used for competition were the thick, composite bumpers, despite the box having a shit ton of steel AND certified Olympic Kilo bumpers which were much thinner than the composite ones.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by syaigh »

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tzg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by tzg »

I dig big chicks wrote:A friend of mine did the @fit Football "Occupy Strength" meet in Baltimore this weekend (friends of hers needed a woman on their team and asked her). She did okay, weighing 130 and squatting 200 (miss 210), PC 135, Bench 120, and DL 300 (miss 310); she did the conditioning workout and finished in the middle despite not doing any non lifting related cardio in a year. This is her report:

Ha, the whole thing was a cluster fuck, warmed up on a combination of kilos and pounds, sometimes on a mens bar, **** bitching about having to use a "chicks" bar, creepy ex staring (and walking around with no shirt on but a backpack - all athlete were wearing shirts).... and **** tried to get me to not squat so deep, yeah wasn't gonna mix up my squat for the final attempt. Oh, and we warmed up on platforms but lifted off the rubber floor.... so very crossfit.

The plates used for competition were the thick, composite bumpers, despite the box having a shit ton of steel AND certified Olympic Kilo bumpers which were much thinner than the composite ones.
Did people drop their deadlifts and was it legal to drop their deadlifts?


Mountebank
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

It seems that HQ may be on a bit of a witch hunt now.

Apparently, Epic aka BeastModal Domains, was fired from his @F gym recently...most likely because this article (ZORG!) pushed too many buttons: http://beastmodaldomains.com/2012/06/06 ... te-owners/

It is unknown if it has any significance, but The Naked XFitter's FB page disappeared suddenly several days ago.
http://www.thenakedxfitter.com/

And then, let us bask in the brilliance of this wAd posted by a random affiliate:
Deadlift
5 rep max
3 rep max
1 rep max for 3 singles
...
then
21-18-15-12-9-6-3
Sumo Deadlift High Pull 75#
Push Press 75#
...
then
2 rounds
45 seconds pullups
45 seconds walking lunges holding 45# plate overhead
45 seconds hollow rock
45 seconds max meter row
1RM for 3 singles. YOU ARE NOT ELEET ENOUGH.


I dig big chicks
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Re: The couch thread

Post by I dig big chicks »

tzg wrote:
I dig big chicks wrote:A friend of mine did the @fit Football "Occupy Strength" meet in Baltimore this weekend (friends of hers needed a woman on their team and asked her). She did okay, weighing 130 and squatting 200 (miss 210), PC 135, Bench 120, and DL 300 (miss 310); she did the conditioning workout and finished in the middle despite not doing any non lifting related cardio in a year. This is her report:

Ha, the whole thing was a cluster fuck, warmed up on a combination of kilos and pounds, sometimes on a mens bar, **** bitching about having to use a "chicks" bar, creepy ex staring (and walking around with no shirt on but a backpack - all athlete were wearing shirts).... and **** tried to get me to not squat so deep, yeah wasn't gonna mix up my squat for the final attempt. Oh, and we warmed up on platforms but lifted off the rubber floor.... so very crossfit.

The plates used for competition were the thick, composite bumpers, despite the box having a shit ton of steel AND certified Olympic Kilo bumpers which were much thinner than the composite ones.
Did people drop their deadlifts and was it legal to drop their deadlifts?

They were "encouraged to not drop before the knees", but this wasn't enforced.


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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

Since WGM has retired from @F-haterdom, his HQ sources have deemed me worthy in his absence.

Apparently the sprint triathlon wAd the other day was a preview of the Gaymes...as in, a triathlon of some sort will be an event. Swimming for sure (nOObs have been apparently warned that there will be a swimming test). Maybe a standard sprint tri, more likely all but guaranteed that the events will be bastardized enough so as to negate any comparisons to tri specialists and expose the mediocre performance levels (let us not forget that the MOST ELEET @Fers produce at the level of a 14-15 year old specialist). Also, getting bikes fitted for all the competitors would be pretty tough...I'd say to look for a stationary bike ride, maybe even a treadmill run. (lulz)
--
Why is swimming being integrated into @F so much? The kool-aid drinkers will want to believe that it is the "be prepared for anything" crap. I disagree. Swimming IMO is being used as a massive barrier of entry to the type of athlete that could practically walk in and destroy most @Fers with very little training...you know, the ex-Div II football player, better in the weight room than on the field, and oh, maybe...BLACK.

Swimming is intended to keep @F the rich white sport that sells lots of Reebok gear...and maybe creates a need for @F competitive wannabes to train in a Globo Gym, where Reebok will be waiting with their @F group classes and easy access to the pools that 99.9% of the affiliates out there will NEVER have.

The humorous thing will be to see how the "work harder, not smarter" and 20% slop concepts work out for @Fers in the water on a distance swim. :toimonster:


TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

I think it's simpler than that.

More swimming events means more folks in swimsuits and bikinis, and that sort of thing is really the foundation of Crossfit's popularity.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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Mountebank
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

protobuilder wrote:I think it's simpler than that.

More swimming events means more folks in swimsuits and bikinis, and that sort of thing is really the foundation of Crossfit's popularity.
That is a good point. Emphasize the good, keep out the "bad".

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