IGX

Unless there's a direct hit on the reinforced steel plated sliding outer window (I closed it) in the special sealed room in my apartment meant to withstand a missile attack, I won't die. I'm not worried. I doubt anything will happen but you never know. A warning siren sounded only once giving me about a minute to get in and lock the door (which can be opened from outside.) wasn’t ready mentally and shaken. Second time in the middle of the nite, I calmly did breathing exercises for ten minutes till I could leave. Looked at at the steel window in the middle. If the missile comes infinitesimal small chance I’m dead.

I learned in 2021 when this last happened and lasted 5 days (I slept in the room) to drastically limit my consumption of news that was causing me enormous anxiety I didn't need. I get alerts on my phone from the Home Front Command also about missile attacks. I assume this will be over in less than a week but if Hezbollah in Lebanon joins in, then it gets really ugly and could last a month. They supposedly have over 100,000 smart missiles that are pretty accurate.

One ex-general predicted if that happens, the Tel Aviv area with over a million gets destroyed as does Lebanon which is a failed state where people have been robbing banks to get money out of their own accounts. I'm sure most of the Lebanese people who are suffering terribly don't want war but they can't stop it. Hezbollah takes orders from Iran who apparently has a lot of influence in Gaza where the rockets are originating from.

Israel is the size of New Jersey with about 8 or 9 million citizens and gets so much media coverage you'd think it was a lot larger and a lot more important to the world. Iran is really close to getting nuclear weapons. The world does nothing to stop them. A lot of the world wants this country destroyed. Arabs have equal rights as far as voting, freedom of speech (there are Arab members of Israel’s legislative branch who praise Arab terrorists) etc. There is some kind of affirmative action program to get more of them into university but they earn less money, have lower life expectancy and much more violence than the Jewish population. There are Christian Arabs here.

An Arab bus driver told me recently that people in his village have terrible health habits as far as smoking, overweight from poor diet etc. and he's very worried about his father who I assume his in his 50s. I told him about exercise, diet etc.. He heard it, but whether he'll do anything about it, I have no idea. I hadn't been on a bus in years and didn't know you needed exact change which I didn't have so he let me on for free which he didn't have to do. The bus was basically empty.

There are a number of Arab gangs terrorizing their own villages. The Israeli police need to do more to stop it. Maybe they will. Recently in a gang war one side killed a whole Arab family which shocked the country. That's never happened so maybe more resources will be devoted to the problem.

UPDATE FROM THIS MORNING

Sent this to a guy I had cut out of my life and stupidly called again. I was almost over a ten day virus and have been sick the last few weeks again. He called (I didn’t block both numbers) and I didn’t answer. He emailed. I can never talk to him again. He has a rare blood cancer and will have to go on terrible chemotherapy to survive a miserable existence. I don’t have the mental health to try to help him. He brought a lot of this on himself with drugs, alcohol, cigarettes., The nice guy I knew in 1978 had turned into a real despicable human being unfortunately. Karma came back to bite him. He’s 65.

Here’s the letter

Phone in other room when u called

got a 3 week virus and really depressed
2 fucked up 2 talk 
don't expect to hear from me for a good long time. last depression was 1.5 years
this could be forever w. heavy trauma if i survive. 
Son in Alaska
Wife and daughter OK. (I don’t live with them. Separated 7 years and don’t expect to live w. Her again)
didn't read news but my wife told me gruesome details
assume the worst
this is israel's war for survival again. Hamas doesn't act w/out ok from Iran 
Hezbollah has 130,000 smart missiles. Tel Aviv destroyed. Haifa Chemicals that spews out toxic gas destroyed killing tens of thousands. Assume at least 50,000 dead in this country. Maybe me also in a missile hit. maybe not.
Iran gets nukes in a few weeks. It's Us or them. I'm far enuf from where Iran would drop one on Tel Aviv that if i don't go outside for 5 days i might survive. 

don't expect electricity phone water food. Netanyahu has to resign as do security heads who fucked this up but won't go now.  Israel wanted refueling planes to attack Teheran so pilots could return. guess that Saudi Arabia will let them land there to refuel since Israel started reconciliation with the Saudis. 

Assume Hezbollah takes over part of the north in a repeat of what happened in the south. Beirut gets destroyed as does Lebanon.  The Palestinians start a 3rd front.

was afraid that the worst case scenario would be i'd be buried under rubble of this building for five days. now at 132 pounds i'll probably starve to death or die from thirst. all this is the worst case scenario. i expect it will go like this. Not worried about it. If it happens it does. I have to control my mind.

Jews are so fuckin sick. if missiles came from mexico to Texas if the prez didn't react in a minute he's gone. Israel abandoned the south that probably took 30,000 rockets since 2005 after gaza evacuation. Netanyahu has to tell the world I got approval from Prez dementia Biden, heads of France, england. 

what happens in a week when they turn on us and won't resupply our dwindling bomb supply. are we gonna beg or are do we say fuck u world we're here. it's us or them. we nuke who we have to. Damascus, Teheran, Beirut.  

thanks for being a friend
i love you brother

I’m not joking at what I wrote. I’ll make occasional posts to IGX. If at some point you don’t hear from me again, assume I’m dead or got hit by missile fragments to the point I’m so fucked up I may as well be.
At this point I’m not afraid to die. If there are a zillion rockets landing in this neighborhood, I don’t know what I’ll feel like. I don’t project into the future.

Listening to Goggins a lot. Gives me a lot of strength. Gotta master the mind. Especially now.
Went shopping this morning at 6:40 AM People were out, and they were pretty calm. Talked to a few. One guy let me go ahead of him in line. I asked how you are, (conversation was in Hebrew).
He said Thank God, I said anybody who can say thank God has to say Thank God because it aint all that easy to do sometimes.
He says what else can I say but It’ll be OK. That’s the Israeli way. Denial Denial Denial.
I told him what I wrote this guy. If Mexico fired rockets into Texas etc.
I don’t understand the mentality here. I really don’t. I guess cause I’m American of the generation after World War II that believes you fuck with us you’re dead motherfucker.

A lot of the world says we’re Nazis. We did such a good job of killing them, they’re attacking us. Where are the concentration camps? I’m laughing at least. If I were a young Palestinian I’d probably be a terrorist. I don’t hate them. They have to be killed but they got brainwashed. I hate our leaders who didn’t bomb their media that puts out constant propaganda how we are the evil of all evils and how every Jew has to be killed. It says so in the Hamas charter that we have to be exterminated. Israel supplies them with electricity water allows them to work in this country and lets Qatar send hundreds of millions if not billions to Hamas.

Israel earned this attack and all these dead people. It almost happened more than once. My reaction was pure rage and such sadness. I gotta toughen up mentally.

Went to the park after shopping and got 7 wide grip pull-ups. Thought I’d do a lot less. Haven’t trained in about 3 weeks. Starting again with a virus, poor sleep etc.. doesn’t matter like Goggins says be yourself.
Take care of yourselves the best you can
And the ones you love if you can.
All the best
lenny

Lenny,

I’m trying to imagine going through what you’re experiencing. If my door had a steel plate and bombs were flying. And all the other things that are going on were happening.

If you’re underweight, I hope you can keep your pantry well stocked in case you have to hole up for a while. I hope you have something (a club, a gun, anything) to defend yourself with in case you need to. And, if it makes sense, I hope you can get out of there safely.

Asking god to protect you. Best of luck and I pray this passes quickly!

Thanks It probably will be over quickly since Israel will cave into international pressure. Until the next round in a few months.

The news I saw was that Israel was attacked (biggest attack in 50 years, on the 50th anniversary of the last one) and is retaliating. Is that your take? Or do you think Israel started this latest round?

Hey man, sorry you are going through this. I hope you get through OK.

A lot of the world says we’re Nazis. We did such a good job of killing them, they’re attacking us. Where are the concentration camps? I’m laughing at least. If I were a young Palestinian I’d probably be a terrorist. I don’t hate them. They have to be killed but they got brainwashed. I hate our leaders who didn’t bomb their media that puts out constant propaganda how we are the evil of all evils and how every Jew has to be killed. It says so in the Hamas charter that we have to be exterminated. Israel supplies them with electricity water allows them to work in this country and lets Qatar send hundreds of millions if not billions to Hamas.

Ehhh....

I think if 150 years ago the Lakota had similar access to weapons, population centers, and state sponsors, we'd have similar problems, and deserve them [EDIT: HAVING SINCE HEARD DETAILS, THE TERM "DESERVE" WAS EXTREMELY OUT OF LINE AND I APOLOGIZE]. I understand completely why somebody joins Hammas. Nobody listens, nobody cares, until people take up arms. What they did was stupid, evil and counterproductive, and I hope every Arab millitant who isn't fleeing this stupidity dies. But it won't just be them, it'll be the civilians too.

I'd prefer if we all decided God wants the Holy Land to be ruled by Scientologists.

Israel was attacked. The prime minister, army, intelligence were asleep and have to take the blame. In the Koran, Jerusalem isn't even mentioned and was not important. Now that the Jews have it, there are a lot of radical Moslems who want it back. A lot of Moslems (not all) believe that was once ruled by them has to be returned. Near the Twin Towers, Moslems wanted to build a center called Cordoba House now called Park 51. Read the wiki entry and decide for yourself why you think it was going to be named for a city in Spain.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Park51

Jews under Moslem rule in Spain were second class citizens called dhimmis subject to special taxes. You can check it out. The Moslems didn't kill the Jews like the Christians until a super violent group took over whose name eludes me at the moment.

Israel has tried and tried over and over to make peace. You can check out this out
https://www.britannica.com/topic/United ... lution-181. when Israel was willing to take a very small piece of land in 1947 and there would have been a Palestinian state. The Arab world invaded Israel in 1948 with 5 nations' armies. The goal was clear. Kill every Jew. There were 700,000 Arabs who fled Israel in 1948. Today they claim millions of Palestinian refugees. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palestini ... 0by%202012.

How can that be? Grandchildren and by now great grandchildren of the original refugees have been left to rot in refugee camps instead of being resettled and integrated into Arab countries. Almost no one knows that there were as many Jews expelled from Arab lands after the state of Israel was declared in 1948. Most went to Israel. Some went to France. In 1948, the Arab countries told Arabs in Israel to leave because they'd soon be returning. That didn't happen but a lot stayed.

Yasser Arafat was a Palestinian terrorist who got kicked out of Jordan in 1970 by King Hussein in a war called Black September
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sep ... ptember%20(Arabic%3A%20%D8%A3%D9%8A%D9%84%D9%88%D9%84%20%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%A3%D8%B3%D9%88%D8%AF,led%20by%20chairman%20Yasser%20Arafat.

The Israelis should have never let that murderer back here, but Rabin thought he could make peace despite Arab leaders telling him Arafat will never honor a single agreement which he didn't. I don't have the article anymore, but a Palestinian wrote that under Arafat's rule in Jericho and Gaza, there were no hospitals built and not even a single hospital bed. I saw a protest from Hebron on TV by Palestinians a long time ago protesting the fact he stole billions of aid money.

I thought it was worth the attempt to make peace, but he unleashed a reign of terror. when he was offered an enormous amount of land including East Jerusalem and refuesed He didn't want peace and a two state solution. He wanted all of Israel as do an awful lot of Palestinian Arabs.

Egypt finally made peace in 1979 with Israel. Anwar Sadat decided his country had suffered enough dead soldiers. For his efforts, he was murdered. It's a cold peace, as well as the one with Jordan but at least there's no war. But there are a lot of anti-Semitism in the media. At one point, I don't know if it's still true, decades after the peace treaty was signed, Egyptian generals said Israel is their greatest enemy. By the way the Egyptian military controls about 40% of their economy.

Israel stupidly left Gaza in 2005 and there have been probably 30,000 rocket attacks on Southern Israel. The Israelis taught their kids we can make peace, but that's not what the Palestinians taught their kids. They learned we stole their land, we are the evil of all evils who have to be exterminated. There were, probably still are, children's TV shows that glorified terrorists.

I could go on and on. Is Israel perfect? No. There have been abuses. I met a rabbi who is part of a human rights group to monitor human rights abuses in the West Bank. I asked is there a Palestinian group promoting peace. There are a few but not many.

I met a Palestinian guy who was working in a fitness facility not far from me. A friend of mine who was a club member invited him for dinner and often used to drive him to where he stayed. The guy tells me flat out. Jews are dishonest. I told him if you guys had the weapons we do, you'd kill us all which he denied.

You have two groups of people fighting over territory the size of New Jersey. Israel can't make peace with them. Mahmoud Abbas the leader of the Palestinians in the West Bank is quite old and denies there was a Holocaust. At some point he has to be replaced. We'll see by who. I'm one of the few willing to live as a minority for the sake of peace if we could make this into one country. There will never be peace here. Not in my lifetime and not in anybody's. Maybe in a few hundred years.

Israel gets maybe 3 billion or used to in aid money from the USA and Egypt gets something similar. 1.8 billion goes to interest payments and the rest to American weapons manufacturers. Israel should stop taking it. It will make life harder, but I believe it would be better for the country.

I believe that Iran is responsible for this attack. Biden gave the Iranians give 6 billion dollars not long ago along with a prisoner exchange. I'm almost positive Israel will be attacked from the North by Hezbollah in Lebanon, by the Palestinians in the West Bank, and rockets from Yemen will be launched at this place in the near future.

I usually edit what I write, but I'm not into it. The Palestinians at one point got more aid money per capita than any other refugee group. I could go on and on. It's tragic with no solution in sight.

A woman from Belfast, North Ireland told me a long time ago that the Protestants in her country teach their kids to hate the Catholics and vice versa. It looks like there's peace there. There can't be peace when the Palestinians teach their kids to hate us, and some day they'll get their land back. We were here at least 2500 years ago, long before them which they deny despite all kinds of archaeological evidence to the contrary. It's true Jews were exiled a number of times, but there were always some here. One of my teachers who immigrated here in 1916 said there were no Palestinians. Every Arab said they were from some other place.

I met some really nice guys from Belfast in London in 1969. One of them asked me to send him a double album of Eric Burdon and the Animals called Love Is, which was only available as a single album in the UK. I did and he paid me about 3 English pounds which I took to the bank and exchanged for dollars in America. He did write me in the fall of 1969 that all the bars on his block had been burnt down. I don't know what happened to him.

Unfortunately, it has to be this way here. Iran every other week proclaims they will annihilate Israel. A met a very nice young woman from Teheran (not Jewish) probably 15 years ago who worked in a bank. She grew up there and said she was subjected to a lot of anti-semitic propaganda in school, and in her opinion the rulers want war. Maybe there will be nuclear war here. If Israel doesn't stop Iran they will launch a first strike against this country.

I wrote a lot. I try not to read the news, but there was an air raid siren a couple hours ago. I was pretty calm about it. Then I read the news and discover that probably 700 Israelis were kidnapped, women and babies were killed by Hamas who have a great victory in their opinion. It hurts a lot. They don't believe there are any innocent people in this conflict. We'll see what Israel does. If they're smart they'll destroy Hamas because there will be further wars with them. I'm not holding my breath.

I just saw this. There are radical Muslims who want the whole planet to be ruled by them.
https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-765304

Hey Lenny,

It sounds almost naive given the circumstances you and your country are facing, but the physical side of things can wreak havoc with your headspace just that much more. I've been a nut for the past couple of weeks and I think it was compounded by an illness. I hope you recover soon.

Sadly, so sadly, what happened on the weekend seems to have rocked even those who thought they were desensitised to watching macabre videos from elsewhere. I think people from all walks are really stunned at the fresh hellishness of what's transpired. You have every right to feel the negativity you're experiencing and it's absolutely not a fault of your mental strength.

The prospect of things escalating is a frightening one, but as a lawyer friend of mine tells clients worried about jail "let's not think about that until it happens". Control what you can control. There's only this moment. Be kind to yourself and stay well, man.

(And please don't die, we need all the members around here we can get.)

Luke thanks for your post I really appreciate it. I will try not to die but I have to live and not be up in this apartment for days. I went out this morning and did wide grip pullups in the park near my house pretty early. still have a virus although did some lower body work including goblet squats and jumping with weights Sunday and Monday but no workout today. I have to be really careful with my energy level. The other day the news really freaked me out and caused enormous anxiety. i drastically limit the news i consume but there were a few air raid warning sirens today and just read a lot of dead Israelis were found. As I said Israel brought this on itself. Like Goggins says Fuck you mind. I'm the motherfuckin master. I'm working on it. Not easy with PTSD from early childhood. I don't call a hotline for help because I learned so many techniques to get calm, i can fuckin help myself.

been doing this breathing exercise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHEEC_g ... KitaroWaga



to get calm a real lot including not long ago in the sealed room after parking my car. Heard a faint siren. Wasn't sure if it was meant for this area, which usually has much louder sirens. saw some people get out of their car and rush to another building. figured i should do the same. i have 90 seconds to reach the room and lock the door. i made it in time. I usually do different visualizations than Kitaro's and listen to his count for inhaling and exhaling. For a while I looked at the sliding steel window meant to protect me unless there's a direct hit which I imagined and my body exploding into the universe. I was pretty calm. I'm laughing. I'd rather die than become an invalid. Sometimes I have a really macabre sense of humor.

I don't think I ever repeated posting songs. I just posted this in the Listening thread where I wrote about being awake the last 25 hours. My krav teacher is still alive, I couldn't get to sleep. after that.
the dancing at the last 1.5 minutes at the end of this song in Africa in 1970 is incredible. WATCH THESE TEENAGERS MOVE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbRiM26 ... uermacoski

Hang in man.

Sam Harris wrote a pretty exceptional essay on the key question that tells others the key question between the two sides: "What would each side do if they could do whatever they wanted?"
https://www.samharris.org/podcasts/maki ... ize-israel

Balanced write up from the Secretary General of the UN:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/13/opin ... tions.html

Good thoughts your way, Lenny!

Also, Gabor Mate's views:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6_GDDa4bmI

Bram's opinion: I'm not pro-any country. Just pro-humanity. It's awful seeing innocent people suffer of any country, religion, gender, or age. I feel terrible for Israelis being bombed and shot and raped and murdered. And I feel terrible for the Palestinians enduring the same.

There's a solution including kindness and dignity and respect. Not limited to murder.

I know a SOF guy who was already at work in a country near Lenny's when things broke out. The vibe in his area is very Pro-Palestine and they're keeping a lower profile than usual unless they absolutely have to move. He said he was fearful of going outside the wire now; they weren't expecting anything close to combat for this assignment.

I used to do a lot of heart coherence meditation, helped so much with blood pressure issues and just felt damn good! You're working out lenny, meditating and can laugh at death. I'd say you're winning all things considered! Seeing many cute IDF girls around? Every serving woman seems like a Miss Universe and I don't care if it's propaganda! I want to visit Tel Aviv someday as I heard it's a cool party city.

I thought Israel might not push into Gaza after delaying for about a week. But them invading is going to result in a ton of innocent people dead and a lot of hatred stirred up. Hope you're staying safe, Lenny!

Bram wrote: ↑Sun Oct 29, 2023 5:59 am I thought Israel might not push into Gaza after delaying for about a week. But them invading is going to result in a ton of innocent people dead and a lot of hatred stirred up.

Both of which benefit Netanyahu.

Three logins needed for this post.

lenny wrote: ↑Sun Oct 08, 2023 7:09 am Iran is really close to getting nuclear weapons. The world does nothing to stop them.

Ever heard of Flame/Stuxnet? Joint NSA/Unit 8200 project.

They wrote malware that targeted one kind of PLC set up one kind of way. The goal was to damage the confidence of Iranian nuke workers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joc0iTX9dyQ

Working as a nuclear physicist in Iran has occupational hazards - Israelis.

https://www.paradigmshift.com.pk/irania ... cientists/

https://www.middleeasteye.net/news/iran ... assination



I'd be worried about Geran-2 suicide drones. They're murdering the Ukrainians. The Iranians are making them for Russia. Why wouldn't they give them to Hezbollah or to Shia backed guerillas in Syria?

motherjuggs&speed wrote: ↑Sun Oct 29, 2023 8:03 am

Bram wrote: ↑Sun Oct 29, 2023 5:59 am I thought Israel might not push into Gaza after delaying for about a week. But them invading is going to result in a ton of innocent people dead and a lot of hatred stirred up.

Both of which benefit Netanyahu.

Three logins needed for this post.

I had a long period of getting logged out at random. Dunno wtf is up with that.

Hope Israel can get someone with a heart and brains to replace Benny N. His calling for no-ceasefire is just gonna make shit worse. Even if they wipe out Hamas, there's gonna be so much hatred for the callous way it's being carried out. Some other group will just pick up the mantle.

I may be having a surreal life moment. I know I posted this video and I thought it was in this thread. I'll get rid of this one if I can find the other one. I just spent 20 minutes looking for it.