The couch thread

[Beelzebub]

I was under the impression that CrossFit did not care about vanity, and it was all about "functional fitness". These two journal articles about male and female beauty appear to be the culmination of what several years of people posting pictures of themselves working out without shirts has been leading two: vanity and self-satisfaction are just as rampant here as in bodybuilding (which CrossFit takes every chance to dump on). Furthermore to compare people who participate in CrossFit to warriors and hunters who either killed or starved to death is preposterous and delusional. The arrogance associated with this is simply baffling. Completing a CrossFit workout faster isn't the difference between life and death. You may feel compelled to do so by the spirit of competition. But working out is not comparable to fighting in a war, nor is it comparable to hunting with prehistoric tools. The survival of you, your comrades, and your family is not contingent on you finishing Fran in less than 2 minutes.

Comment #19 - Posted by: Ben at December 11, 2009 6:17 PM

While searching for the suicide note from Barry on the @fit.com's comments I can across this gem and thought I would share. We know @fit is just an excuse to workout with your shirt off. It is built for women sized men who are just slightly stronger than girls and then love to draw attention to this fact through facebook and @fit websites.

And 50 turkish get ups with a 60 lbs db per round???? I fucking doubt anyone of the @fitters completes one round. No wonder they asked to post fraction of rounds completed in the instructions.

[T200]

Oh sweet lord...the real reason @Fit is irritating is the faggotry-related ego; prime example:

Made all the Meatheads jealous...

Went to the local gym where I bought a yearlong membership right before I found CrossFit. I went to get my cousin's boyfriend and his brother to show me proper lifting technique. Well, I took my rings along because they had been wanting to see them. The only place I had to hang them was a squat rack, so the top of the strap was at about 7.5 feet. At first I had about 4 people watching me set them up. Then after I did my first Muscle-up ( i have only ever done 1 MU at a time) the crowd started growing. I ended up doing 6 MU's, from a dead-hang L-sit because the rings had to be so low. Blew my own mind! haha. I had several of them fighting over and over and over trying to get it; and they couldn't. Finally, my cousin's Bf's Brother (that's a mouthful haha) managed to squeeze one out, but his face was the deepest purple I have ever seen. He was literally about to explode.

I have never had anyone else want to be me, or be even the least bit jealous of what I could do. This was the most amazing feeling. I got more pats on the back and people shaking my hand telling me how awesome it was. They kept asking me how to do it and to walk them through it. Fortunately for me though, the owner is on a trip out of the country and the guy in charge doesn't really care what goes on. They were all asking what I do to work out. I loved the looks on their faces when I said I am CrossFitter!

Off to do some Burpees!

This butthole Brian Russell is 6'5" 179lbs. I kid you not.

And an equally ghey reply:

Thats awesome man. Similar thing happened to me once. I had already done the WOD, and was waiting on my buddy, so I was just messing around doing some pull-ups and just random stuff. Then when we were going to leave, I hopped on the pull-up bar, and did like 12 or so muscle ups on the bar. (I think 12 is the max you can do without your hands shredding ) After that, I hopped down, and we started leaving. I forgot my waterbottle, so I go back and grab it on the other side of the gym, and I can see about 4 lifters standing under the bar, trying to do it. None of them were able to get high enough on the bar. They all knew I was a crossfit junkie, so they didn't even have to ask how I did it.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

'Bub, it's an established observation that @Fers love to look good naked, in fact, this is the single thing @Fers talk about in their testimonials the most, is how much weight they've lost and how much better they look. Not how they feel. Not how they are in shape or stronger, but how they look.

Ever since DirtDiva took a clawhammer to Methcalves Carl, and before.

I used to bang out bar muscle ups back when I played rugby in college. My 5 mile run would take me by several playgrounds and exercise courses, and I read about those straight bar muscle ups in Health For Life's Advanced Bodybuilding course, so I'd bust out 8-10 of them each set, after running fast a few miles.

This makes me the second Crossfitter ever, right after couch, since I did this shit in 1989 or so, and often was shirtless too.

That's right, all you Crossfit Crossreaders, Shaf was the second original Crossfitter. YOU READ IT HERE FIRST

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I should change my username to "The Second Crossfitter Was Shaf"

[T200]

That's right, all you Crossfit Crossreaders, Shaf was the second original Crossfitter. YOU READ IT HERE FIRST

You're on a roll tonight.

First you expected great things from an over-marketed book on training from someone you never heard of. That was crazy enough.

Now you admit to being gay as hell. Some evening.

[T200]

My attempt to snap you back to reality:



What did you see there?

[JamesonBushmill]

Barry Coopz on the forum:

Dot com versus local

I just wanted to note briefly that a change has happened invisibly which is worth mentioning: the tide has swept away from a focus on the community HERE to a focus on local communities. We have some 1,500 affililates or something, which means that virtually everyone who wants to CrossFit can do it locally. Moreover, in almost all cases they have local websites, which act to tie things together.

A conservative guess is that there are some 10,000 people doing some type of CrossFit workout daily, but there are only a few hundred people posting here, as far as I can tell. Certainly it's not 10,000.

Do with this comment what you will.

If only it were possible to wipe one's ass with a comment on a screen...

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Thanks, I'm washing down that kratom with beer. Is that ok?

[Jag Panzer]

Chris Shugart says beer makes you gay

[Holland Oates]

My attempt to snap you back to reality:



What did you see there?

I saw a beautiful butterfly.

A beautiful butterfly I want to stick my dick in, while punching it in the kidney's and base of it's skull.

[T200]

Thanks, I'm washing down that kratom with beer. Is that ok?

Yes.

[Danny John]

In twenty minutes, the "correct" number of Turkish Get Ups (with 60 pounds((????))) or with nothing) could be ten right and ten left. Honestly, TGUs are not a race. I think they are a great exercise, but not everything works for time. Bikram Yoga for time, Skydiving for time or TGUs for time misses the point.

I don't even know where to begin here...

[Crust Bucket]

Sunday 091213
Complete as many rounds as you can in twenty minutes of:
Row 500 meters
25 Turkish Get-ups with a 60-pound dumbbell
Post rounds and fractions of rounds completed to comments.

Can't wait til the fuck knuckles drop the weight on their heads, if they don't screw up a shoulder or back first.

[POD]

I volunteer POD to rape the dyke 'til both he and she are straight: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/1 ... 74380.html

It's therapy, not a crime.

Fuck. If anyone ever raped Lynne, he'd be more of a victim that she would.

Made all the Meatheads jealous...
Blew my own mind! haha. I had several of them fighting over and over and over trying to get it; and they couldn't. Finally, my cousin's Bf's Brother (he's a mouthful haha) managed to squeeze one out, but his face was the deepest purple I have ever seen. He was literally about to explode.

I only changed one word.

[TerryB]

i posted Couch's quote about not believing in exercise science in the fitness section.

i now join the ranks of banned IGx'ers

GODDAMIT! DO NOT POST COUCH'S INCONVENIENT QUOTES ON COUCH'S FORUM!!! DELETEDELETEDELETE!!!!

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

Oh sweet lord...the real reason @Fit is irritating is the faggotry-related ego; prime example:

Made all the Meatheads jealous...

Went to the local gym where I bought a yearlong membership right before I found CrossFit. I went to get my cousin's boyfriend and his brother to show me proper lifting technique. Well, I took my rings along because they had been wanting to see them. The only place I had to hang them was a squat rack, so the top of the strap was at about 7.5 feet. At first I had about 4 people watching me set them up. Then after I did my first Muscle-up ( i have only ever done 1 MU at a time) the crowd started growing. I ended up doing 6 MU's, from a dead-hang L-sit because the rings had to be so low. Blew my own mind! haha. I had several of them fighting over and over and over trying to get it; and they couldn't. Finally, my cousin's Bf's Brother (that's a mouthful haha) managed to squeeze one out, but his face was the deepest purple I have ever seen. He was literally about to explode.

I have never had anyone else want to be me, or be even the least bit jealous of what I could do. This was the most amazing feeling. I got more pats on the back and people shaking my hand telling me how awesome it was. They kept asking me how to do it and to walk them through it. Fortunately for me though, the owner is on a trip out of the country and the guy in charge doesn't really care what goes on. They were all asking what I do to work out. I loved the looks on their faces when I said I am CrossFitter!

Off to do some Burpees!

This butthole Brian Russell is 6'5" 179lbs. I kid you not.

And an equally ghey reply:

Thats awesome man. Similar thing happened to me once. I had already done the WOD, and was waiting on my buddy, so I was just messing around doing some pull-ups and just random stuff. Then when we were going to leave, I hopped on the pull-up bar, and did like 12 or so muscle ups on the bar. (I think 12 is the max you can do without your hands shredding ) After that, I hopped down, and we started leaving. I forgot my waterbottle, so I go back and grab it on the other side of the gym, and I can see about 4 lifters standing under the bar, trying to do it. None of them were able to get high enough on the bar. They all knew I was a crossfit junkie, so they didn't even have to ask how I did it.

his cousin's boyfriend's brother is a mouthful?!?!?!? Faggot.

[CultBuster]

It is desperation putting Even-Esh all over the page. Zach is a cool guy, but I can tell you that thay are not doing @fit at his place. He will never come out and say anything in front of people, but his programing is not even in the same zip code as couch's. NO KIPPING is one. I do not think a WOD has been done there for several years. He has his own affiliation and his own cert. OPT has a cert coming out. Zach is smart enough to take the good press, but he will not bow to couch. He and DeFranco roll hard and Joe thinks @fit is a bag-o-douche

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Even-Esh is out there on Wolf's blog calling Couch a coward and a liar straight up.

[rjudo]

Even-Esh is out there on Wolf's blog calling Couch a coward and a liar straight up.

I thought that was a different Zach.

[T200]

I volunteer POD to rape the dyke 'til both he and she are straight: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/1 ... 74380.html

It's therapy, not a crime.

Fuck. If anyone ever raped Lynne, he'd be more of a victim that she would.

Made all the Meatheads jealous...
Blew my own mind! haha. I had several of them fighting over and over and over trying to get it; and they couldn't. Finally, my cousin's Bf's Brother (he's a mouthful haha) managed to squeeze one out, but his face was the deepest purple I have ever seen. He was literally about to explode.

I only changed one word.

POD you have improved a lot lately IMO. Keep it up.

[Yes I Have Balls]

http://www.crossfitventura.com/crossfit ... tlist.html

"Exercise science is a myth if seen as other than a nascent science yet to make a significant contribution to human performance. I know of no sport, coaching technique, performance record or notable achievement in human performance derived even in part from scientific work."
-Greg Glassman

I'm interested in Louie's response to this, seeing as he built his entire program around Russian sports science, which of course produced no "notable achievement[s] in human performance."

Louie pretty much contradicts this in the video with Bony and Asstro. Simmons says to the effect that he doesn't being in any other trainers to help him he brings in physicists, mathematicians and other scientists.

Oh well, I guess Simmons is wrong - according to couch

[The Nightman]

Westside will NOT stay around, I have met a few of those guys and they have no tolerance for bullshit. AJ Roberts got asked a question about doing curls and other "non functional" exercises by this douchfitter and he just glared at the guy and simply said "the strongest men in the world do curls so it's good enough for me" Tate jumps in and states "nothing beats strong, period" that marriage will not end well.

Just saw AJ this past week, had I been able to keep up with this thread I would have asked him what his Fran time was just to see his reaction.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... sIntro.mov

This is great.

First off, there's bit of Casto completely fucking up a deadlift with band on it.

Plus, you can see louies eyebrows are like 1.5" long.

[T200]

I love the delivery of the line: "that's the very beginning."

[JohnnyBadAss]

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... sIntro.mov

This is great.

First off, there's bit of Casto completely fucking up a deadlift with band on it.

Plus, you can see louies eyebrows are like 1.5" long.

Castro with an "impressive" 24" box jump. Nice work there buddy...only another 24" before you start getting into the realm of real athletes.