The couch thread

[Hymen Asshole]

The kids over at t-nation just discovered TitsNYC, a bit slow they are

http://tnation.t-nation.com/free_online ... _oly_lifts

[Jay]

The kids over at t-nation just discovered TitsNYC, a bit slow they are

http://tnation.t-nation.com/free_online ... _oly_lifts

They are idiots over there

[Grandpa's Spells]

Making fun of the idiots at T-Nation is a bit like making fun of a friend you saw in a tranny porn video. You're outing both of you, not just him.

[cunch]

You mean George?

[Jay]

Making fun of the idiots at T-Nation is a bit like making fun of a friend you saw in a tranny porn video. You're outing both of you, not just him.

Thankfully that is one forum I never cared to join or read, its a class like bodybuilding.com

[Holland Oates]

Making fun of the idiots at T-Nation is a bit like making fun of a friend you saw in a tranny porn video. You're outing both of you, not just him.

Why do you have to bring me into this motherfucker?!

[The Ginger Beard Man]

if she was wearing a form fitting outfit that extended to cover her lower limbs... and a headscarf...

then would you watch her technique / take her lifting seriously, or do you think you would still primarily view / think it was okay to speak about her with respect to your estimate of her sexual value?

i'm just curious...

Ok. Theres a lot of ghey over there(shirtless pic avatars?), but who is this fucking homo?

[Jay]

if she was wearing a form fitting outfit that extended to cover her lower limbs... and a headscarf...

then would you watch her technique / take her lifting seriously, or do you think you would still primarily view / think it was okay to speak about her with respect to your estimate of her sexual value?

i'm just curious...

Ok. Theres a lot of ghey over there(shirtless pic avatars?), but who is this fucking homo?

He's chivalry man... he thinks by being gracious on a webboard it will get him more ass. In real life he gets walked on like a slave in ancient Egypt.

[Jay]

if she was wearing a form fitting outfit that extended to cover her lower limbs... and a headscarf...

then would you watch her technique / take her lifting seriously, or do you think you would still primarily view / think it was okay to speak about her with respect to your estimate of her sexual value?

i'm just curious...

Ok. Theres a lot of ghey over there(shirtless pic avatars?), but who is this fucking homo?

double post

[Yes I Have Balls]

Making fun of the idiots at T-Nation is a bit like making fun of a friend you saw in a tranny porn video. You're outing both of you, not just him.

Thanks a lot big mouth.

[___________]

Allison can still eat a fat dick & I'd watch it.

[Cave Canem]

535327_228174180623330_172481292859286_445833_1557017327_n.jpg (37.02 KiB) Viewed 8229 times

[Fat Cat]

Need pix of her milk-bloated preggo teatz.

[Mickey O'neil]

Well, this pretty much sums it up.

CrossFit's Greg Glassman is obese and unfit

http://maxwellsc.com/blog.cfm?blogID=90

[Mountebank]

Lulz. From Beastmodal's FB observation.

An @Fer without caffeine? Quit harshing on their work capacity (when on stimulants), HQ!

Also, the fact that "there is no complete list of banned drug examples!!" is complete and utter horseshit. Between this and the caffeine, it sounds like a method of DQing whoever they don't want to win and ignoring "positives" from teh winnah they want.

[The Crawdaddy]

@fit: We make up the rules as we go, and they are subject to change:

1) based on our whims,
2) Coach, Astro and Pudding's current levels of sobriety
3) Without notice or notification
4) Just whenever the fuck we feel like it, really.

[kreator]

Lulz. From Beastmodal's FB observation.

An @Fer without caffeine? Quit harshing on their work capacity (when on stimulants), HQ!

Also, the fact that "there is no complete list of banned drug examples!!" is complete and utter horseshit. Between this and the caffeine, it sounds like a method of DQing whoever they don't want to win and ignoring "positives" from teh winnah they want.

How do you test for caffeine? What is the banned level, > 0mg? So no chocolate, kola nuts, tea, ice cream, coffee? I guess they're all paleo anyway and paleo man never had access to caffeine.

Why is it banned, anyway?

[Jonny Canuck]

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/n ... Jev7Kk2aOP

*comments added in () should not be taken as true or factual.

On a recent Saturday evening, an attractive crowd of 70 gathers in a cavernous space on a mostly deserted street in Gowanus, Brooklyn. Toting Crock-Pots and big bowls of green salad, they enter through a door marked only with a skull and crossbones(that's fucking hardcore). Once inside, the scene is like a reunion (cult), with high-fives, handshakes and hugs. Beyond the communal dining table, piled high with simmering meat roasts, the walls are decorated with medicine balls, kettle weights and climbing ropes.

As the visitors mill about, pouring themselves stiff tequila drinks, their bodies ripple with muscle — but are also marked by bruises (wtf bruises? do these guys play real sports or something). One woman is even hobbling around in a foot brace (fucktard).
Christian Johnston
CrossFit coaches Noah Abbott (far left) and Margie Lempert make sure Noah Barth (in tire) doesn’t try to end his workout early (i thought that was the point, whoever finishes first wins).

This isn’t one of Brooklyn’s secret supper clubs. It’s a potluck thrown by the South Brooklyn members of CrossFit, one of the hottest (fucked up) fitness-and-lifestyle (cult) movements in the country.

Today, they’re marking the end of a grueling two-monthlong “Paleo Challenge,” in which participants adhere to a strict “caveman” diet consisting of grass-fed meats, fish, fruits, vegetables and nuts. (Did cavemen have starbucks coffee?)

“On this diet, you can pretty much eat anything that’s green or had a face,” says CrossFitter Will Lanier. Not included in the diet: grains, refined sugars, dairy and starches — or alcohol. Still, many of the devotees skirt this by indulging in drinks containing tequila, considered a lesser evil because it’s made mostly with agave rather than refined sugars and grains.

And while the diet is extreme, the CrossFit workout is even tougher. Members punish themselves with intense workouts so basic and primal, a caveman could compete. Each hourlong session includes running, chin-ups (never seen chinups at a box, i think they meant pull-ups)(not real pull-ups, that would be too extreme), swinging giant hammers, dead-lifting (a bastardized version of a deadlift complete with rounded back and hitching), handstand push-ups and, yes, flipping 400-pound tractor tires.

The exercise is so grueling that throwing up (fucknuts) during training — while not a stated goal of the regime — is considered a badge of honor (WHAT THE FUCK?). And people who suffer together, apparently, socialize together. Far from being just a workout, CrossFit is a way of life (for those who have no life).

“Socializing is baked into the program,” says Alex Tilney, a 34-year-old writer (dude is extreme) from Cobble Hill and a devoted CrossFitter since last June.

“Before every class, everyone says their names, and the coaches ask you what your plans are this weekend and how you’re feeling that day. There’s a sense of coming together.”

Some people are so enthusiastic about CrossFit that its members are the only friends they have (that's about right). “CrossFit people understand [that] whether you’re hungover or not, you’re getting up and going to the gym the next morning,” says Ali Hovland, a 26-year-old project manager who works out at the Black Box gym in the Flatiron District.

Hovland first tried CrossFit after giving birth to a daughter, Zoe, 14 months ago. Not only did she spring back into shape, she found a new family for her new family. Her little girl is now a fixture at the gym, joining her mom for all her workouts.

“My friends are CrossFitters,” says Hovland. “It’s pretty cut and dry.”

Comments like these have caused outsiders to jokingly (no, we aren't joking, see above article) label the movement a cult. It’s true newcomers can feel alienated by the CrossFit philosophy, which implicitly offers a perfect body through pain while keeping peace of mind.

Last weekend a novice tried a free introductory class at a Brooklyn gym. As he pressed into a stretch, he grimaced — and got told off by a coach.
Christian Johnston
CrossFit coaches Noah Abbott (far left) and Margie Lempert make sure Noah Barth (in tire) doesn’t try to end his workout early.

“I made a horrific face, eyes bugging out of my head,” says the newbie, who asked not to be named because he doesn’t want to be banned from future classes. “I assumed that would be OK. Suddenly this trainer said, ‘Some of you are using a “private face,” which is not appropriate.’

“It’s a tough-love spirit,” adds the newbie. “A ‘Fight Club’ vibe.” (who the fuck are these idiots)

“I’ve heard people call CrossFit a cult a ton of times,” says coach Will Lanier, who quit his fashion p.r. job to become a full-time trainer (she must have had $1000 and two free days to get all her cf certifications). “And yeah, sure, I see that. But it’s the good things about a cult — we’re a community working towards a common goal.” (I guess if we say that we are not a cult enough times people will believe we aren't actually a cult)

Former gymnast and trainer Greg Glassman (couch) founded (copy and pasted)the program 12 years ago in California. Today, he still leads the movement, training (he fucking trains?) and contributing often to its online journal (pukie the clown facebook page).

The regime — a favorite of professional athletes (really, who? are you counting the former nfl placekicker who competed in the reepbok open?) police academies, martial artists and military units — has slowly been gaining steam in the fitness world, mostly by word of mouth ( hot chicks working out in lululemon). In 2005, there were roughly 50 affiliates worldwide; now, there are approximately 2,500. In the past year alone, CrossFit has seen tremendous growth, thanks to a new 10-year partnership (takeover) with Reebok and the popularity of the Olympic-style CrossFit Games (@fit should be in the olympics), which aired for the first time on ESPN last summer.

Today there are 20 CrossFit affiliates in the New York City area, three of which opened in the past year. While members usually exercise in bare-bones “boxes” (CrossFit-speak for gym), the regime is also spawning copycat workouts at “mainstream” gyms around the city, including New York Sports Club, which launched its “UFX” program (Ultimate Fitness Experience) class last month.

Up to five days a week, CrossFitters perform a 60-minute“WOD” (CrossFit for “work-out of the day”), and everyone completes the tasks as a group. Individual times and weights are recorded daily, and since everyone is doing the same workout, it often fosters competition among members.

Die-hard CrossFitters say the sweat and tears that go into their workouts bond them.

“There’s this feeling of, if you didn’t suffer, you didn’t try hard enough. It’s hard not to make friends in that environment,” says Hovland.

CrossFit South Brooklyn owner David Osorio, 27, has seen the rise of his fellow fanatics firsthand. He started his affiliate with a couple of sandbags and jump-ropes in a Carroll Gardens playground, and gradually upgraded to his warehouse space in Gowanus.

“In the beginning, the gym was 15 people,” he says. “Now, we actually can’t even handle all the people who are coming to us. It’s a good problem to have.”

Osorio says the tribal spirit of the regime is what keeps his clients coming back.

“If you go to a yoga class, it’s anonymous,” he says. “The training has to be really good for you to go back, but that’s very one-dimensional.”

With CrossFit, “you go through something really painful and agonizing and awful. At the end you’re like, ‘What did I just do?’ and then you look around the room and 15 other people are all on the floor panting too. It brings people together.”


Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/n ... z1sJDEvfm8

[powerlifter54]

Excellent way to show your hardcore bonafides and try to lose your job at the same time...

http://rosevillecrossfit.com/2011/06/09 ... et-places/

[Mountebank]

How do you test for caffeine? What is the banned level, > 0mg? So no chocolate, kola nuts, tea, ice cream, coffee? I guess they're all paleo anyway and paleo man never had access to caffeine.

Why is it banned, anyway?

I read something about >15mg.

No idea why it is banned other than the potential for selective enforcement to make for prettier winners.

[Yes I Have Balls]

@fit: We make up the rules as we go, and they are subject to change:

1) based on our whims,
2) Coach, Astro and Pudding's current levels of sobriety
3) Without notice or notification
4) Just whenever the fuck we feel like it, really.

adding:

5) As long as that Asian dude doesn't win the women's competition again we're good to go!

[syaigh]

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/04/1 ... ss-trends/

Scary Fitness Trend #1: Hopping For Heavyweights
If you’ve ever watched a reality weight-loss show, you might have seen 300-pound contestants jumping onto boxes to blast calories. It’s often an awkward jump that looks dangerous, even to the casual observer. Of course, they wouldn’t show it on TV if it was a bad idea—right? Wrong.

Is jumping an effective way to burn calories? Yes. But is it a good idea for people who are significantly overweight? No. And that goes double if the person is just starting a fitness regimen.
The Fat-Burning Exercise You Must Try
“While jumps of any kind are a great tool for increasing power, building strength, and blasting your cardio, they will increase your injury risk,” says Robert dos Remedios, strength coach at College of the Canyons and author Men’s Health Power Training. “For an obese person, this injury risk will sky-rocket simply due to the large deficit in their strength to body-weight ratio.” So combine a lot of extra weight with muscles that aren’t well trained, and you have a recipe for disaster.

“I rarely even use box jumps with my athletes for fear of mishap and injury,” says dos Remedios, who has been training collegiate athletes for 18 years. “I can never imagine putting an obese client in this situation.”

Dos Remedios acknowledges that low-level jumps, such as jumping jacks, partial squat jumps, and even some jump rope drills can have a place in an obese client’s fitness routine. But he emphasizes that he would always weigh the risk of such activities versus the reward. “There are so many other ways to burn calories and boost your metabolism,” says dos Remedios. “My goal is to minimize risk and maximize results.”

One of his favorite ways to do that: the kettlebell swing. Not only has this exercise been shown to be a great calorie-torcher, a new study from the University of Waterloo shows that it may help prevent lower-back injuries. But you have to do it right. Watch the video to make sure you perform the kettlebell swing with perfect form. (And to use the kettlebell swing to melt flab fast, check out The World’s Simplest Fat-Loss Routine.)

Scary Fitness Trend #3: Extreme Workouts That Are Too ... Extreme It’s cool to push yourself in the gym. In fact, you should push yourself. What’s not so cool: To push yourself beyond your limits. It’s a quick way to get injured. But in fitness circles, this practice is trending. The idea is this: You work yourself to complete exhaustion, no matter how sloppy your form gets. At the end of your workout, you feel an air of satisfaction, knowing you gave it your all.

But here's the problem: As fatigue starts to set in during an exercise, form starts to falter. That's a fact. "When this happens, your body starts to compensate, altering the muscle fibers that are recruited as well as delaying reflexes," says Men's Health fitness adviser Bill Hartman, co-owner of Indianapolis Fitness and Sports Training. "This causes overload to joints and soft-tissues, and makes fatigue a key component of injury potential."

How do you know when you've taken an exercise too far? One sign is that you achieve "technical" failure. This is the point at which your performance starts to decline, and it can be identified in two ways, says Hartman.

1. You can't maintain perfect form. The easiest gauge is when your posture changes—for instance, you have to excessively arch your back to complete a bench press, or you need to lean your torso backward to complete an arm curl. Another indicator: You stop performing an exercise in a full range of motion. So instead of performing a squat as deep as you can, you "stop short" and do partial squats instead. (To make sure you know perfect form, check out The Men's Health Big Book of Exercises and The Women's Health Big Book of Exercises, where you'll find full-color photos of more than 500 exercises.)

2. You aren't in total control of the weight. In this case, the speed at which you lift a weight slows down as you pass your "sticking point." So if the rate at which you do a pushup starts to slow as you press yourself up, you've achieved technical failure. The other yardstick: You aren't able to lower a weight back to the starting position at the same rate from top to bottom. That is, it feels as though the weight overtakes you. When either of these conditions occurs, you've reached technical failure.

Unlike in absolute failure, in which you can't perform even one more repetition, you'll probably feel as if you could pump out a couple more. But the truth is, once you've hit technical failure, fewer target muscle fibers are firing during each repetition thereafter—so you've achieved already maximal benefit from that exercise. "You'll get better overall results if you rest and add another set, than if you push past what you're capable of doing with good form," says Hartman.

Keep in mind, that beyond the immediate injury risk, you also need to consider the ramifications down the line. “Even though you may be able to gut through an exercise in the short-term, this action could be bringing long-standing issues closer and closer to threshold,” says Eric Cressey, owner of Cressey Performance in Hudson, Massachusetts, where he trains dozens of professional athletes.

“We know that the overwhelming majority of people have something structurally wrong on MRIs and X-rays—whether it's a disc herniation, rotator cuff tear, or degenerative changes in the knee," Cressey says. "Good training should prevent these issues from ever getting to the point that they cause symptoms, but just plowing through exercises with terrible form can instead bring these issues to the forefront."

Be smart: When it comes to your fitness plan, don't strive be an absolute failure.

[Mountebank]

http://games.crossfit.com/article/harde ... had-mackay

Chad Mackay received his best coaching tip in the form of a simple question:

“How much are you willing to hurt?” For those that have seen him in competition, it is evident he is willing to hurt a whole lot.
[...]
Having been sick with a gastro bug all competition long, at times even vomiting mid-workout, he still remained focused on his end goal: to qualify for the CrossFit Games.

Mackay’s insatiable desire to win triumphed over his physical ailments
[...]
The injury

Mackay approached the 2011 Games season with that familiar hunger. He proceeded to stamp his authority even more firmly on the Australian CrossFit community by crushing the Open. Going into the Australian Regional that year, he was ranked top three in the region.

However, it quickly became apparent during training that something was wrong. He wanted to work on his running and did so religiously. He is the first to admit that moving his 100 kg frame long distances began to affect his body, and after many scans, appointments and opinions, was told he had a form of osteitis pubis with stress fractures near the adductors.

Unfortunately, this injury prevented Mackay from competing in the 2011 Regional and many were left wondering how he would have faired had he been unimpeded. After an invasive adductor tendinopathy surgery and many months of rest, Mackay began the long road back to the CrossFit Games.

​The recovery

Now, Chad Mackay is back, bigger and better than ever, and has continued his competition success with a 5th place finish in the 2012 Open. With his injury woes behind him...

Haha. "He has not even yet begun to injure himself!" should be a motivation cry of theirs.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

High levels of caffiene are on most drug testing lists, IIRC.

[kreator]

High levels of caffiene are on most drug testing lists, IIRC.

Negative, that was repealed by the IOC in 2004. They still test for it, but it's not a banned substance.