The couch thread

[DrDonkeyLove]

It wasn't long ago, for the umpteenth time, some people wanted to kill this thread because it had been played out. But, like a magic lamp that never runs out of wishes, Crossfit's weird wild madness is the gift that keeps on giving.

[Jay]

Yea, random busting on people working out gets old... to be honest this Anthos thing is pretty damn awesome because it can affect the entire structure of @fit.

Even the gaymes this year were anticlimactic

[Turdacious]

Super-intense, super-popular fitness fad/ cult/ greatest-thing-ever Crossfit has more than a few injuries and internet jokes: an existential threat that, many Crossfit leaders and gym owners fear, could destroy the happy nationwide fitness utopia they've created.

Crossfit was founded in the 1990s and completely owned by husband-and-wife team Greg Glassman and Lauren Jenai Glassman. Over the past decade and a half, Crossfit has grown steadily: first came Glassman's own gym, then a website, then, over the years, the opening of well over 1,000 4,000 (and growing) Crossfit "affiliate" gyms, which pay Crossfit for the right to the name. There's also a partnership with Reebok and the Crossfit Games competition, which is now televised on ESPN. It's a nice business.

Now, though, the Glassmans are getting a divorce. Greg Glassman is staying on in his role as head of Crossfit. But Lauren has decided to sell her half of the company to a private equity firm called Anthos Capital, for $20 million. This has caused—to state it conservatively—absolute fucking apoplexy and panic among Crossfit leadership and many of its affiliate owners.

http://gawker.com/5931288/crossfitters- ... -crossfit/

[Grandpa's Spells]

Now, though, the Glassmans are getting a divorce. Greg Glassman is staying on in his role as head of Crossfit. But Lauren has decided to sell her half of the company to a private equity firm called Anthos Capital, for $20 million. This has caused—to state it conservatively—absolute fucking apoplexy and panic among Crossfit leadership and many of its affiliate owners.

Is Mike Caviston a ghost writer for gawker?

[Damien]

@F's lawsuit against the Lauren/Anthos deal can be found here:
http://anthosandcrossfit.blogspot.com/2 ... ainst.html
TL;DR

You lawyer-types, I skimmed the document and maybe I don't have a clue but:
1. Is it really that badly written or is that lawyer-speak all the way?
2. Is the argumentation really that awkward or is that lawyer-speak as well?

[Mountebank]

@F's lawsuit against the Lauren/Anthos deal can be found here:
http://anthosandcrossfit.blogspot.com/2 ... ainst.html
TL;DR

You lawyer-types, I skimmed the document and maybe I don't have a clue but:
1. Is it really that badly written or is that lawyer-speak all the way?
2. Is the argumentation really that awkward or is that lawyer-speak as well?

I thought exactly the same things.

[Jay]

Lawyer speak.

[Blaidd Drwg]

@F's lawsuit against the Lauren/Anthos deal can be found here:
http://anthosandcrossfit.blogspot.com/2 ... ainst.html
TL;DR

You lawyer-types, I skimmed the document and maybe I don't have a clue but:
1. Is it really that badly written or is that lawyer-speak all the way?
2. Is the argumentation really that awkward or is that lawyer-speak as well?

I thought exactly the same things.

It's in fairly plain English and the arguments, if based on actual facts, indicate that Lauren exceeded her authority in a fairly strident manner.

This is delicious.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Not sure if @fit is capable of making an argument using factual statements though.

[TerryB]

what we'll really need to see are the deposition transcripts

unfortunately those files are very hard to get unless someone volutnarily uploads the e-files of the transcripts

one big problem I see is, they want the Judge to rule that lauren is harming Crossfit simply by selling her share of it. That will never fly, especially when the party seeking that ruling is the other half of a bitter divorce. She is fully within her rights to sell her share, whether Greg likes it or not. That's how it works.

Oh sure, they also said she divulged private info to Anthos and did a few other relatively minor things (in my mind), but the real issue is, they don't want her to be able to sell.

When you look at the public vitriol Greg & Co. started spewing trying to run down Anthos over the past few months, it seems pretty clear that the real story is, Greg wants to be 100% in charge, period, end of story, and he'll fight tooth and nail to ensure it. But he can't stop Lauren from selling her share. he's just trying to stay in 100% control.

[Turdacious]

Brother Ash, you know screenshots are much better. :)

itsgoingdown.JPG

Seemed appropriate to repost.

[Holland Oates]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBd7C_8aDqk[/youtube]
Somebody save this shit.

[Jay]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBd7C_8aDqk">YouTube Link</a>
Somebody save this shit.

Quack will. He has a desktop folder called "i hate CrossFit"

[Gin Master]

@F's lawsuit against the Lauren/Anthos deal can be found here:
http://anthosandcrossfit.blogspot.com/2 ... ainst.html
TL;DR

You lawyer-types, I skimmed the document and maybe I don't have a clue but:
1. Is it really that badly written or is that lawyer-speak all the way?
2. Is the argumentation really that awkward or is that lawyer-speak as well?

1. The hallmark of a well written legal document is that it is easily understood by its reader. It is not very well written. Legalese should only be used when necessary, like terms of art, some forms of brief writing, etc. There are some archaic procedural terms that are usually included, but this is a bit cumbersome, even for big firms.*

*With this many undersigned counsel, everyone is getting a little piece. The legal bills will be high because three to four sets of eyes are looking at everything that goes out. The funny thing here is that a low-level associate probably wrote a quick first draft, and the partners sent it out without editing. I bet they billed for it, though. It looks like shit.

2. Sometimes the arguments are awkward and cumbersome in fiduciary or contract litigation. There are a few terms thrown in (e.g. affirmative as opposed to implied) that bolster the defenses. Also, a lot of the archaic sounding language has been lifted from previous decisions (that the courts are familiar with). Sometimes it is easier to argue using antiquated (but settled) language than it is to restate something in a modern, simple way.

I don't practice in Delaware, but it is unusual to see such an argumentative pleading. This document is typically very dry and sets out that the other party is responsible everything that is wrong with the world. There is no point in persuasive or argumentative writing unless you're trying to impress a client. Or if you plan on making the document public, both of which bear the mark of douche. Regardless, making conclusory statements without supporting evidence, as if it were page 4 of an IGX thread, is poor form. It only serves to galvanize the believers.

The counter suit doesn't really have teeth because it's asking for the court to clarify things that are already clear, e.g. that Lauren is no longer an officer. @F, Inc.--which Lauren is still a part of--wants 1) to let Couch have his plane, and 2) to keep Lauren from selling her shares. One is a push, but the other 50% can hold that up (gridlock is not unlawful; it is simply the result of not providing for tie-breakers in your operating agreement). The second, trying to keep Lauren from selling her half, is ludicrous.

Hope this helps.

[dead man walking]

perhaps glassman and glasswoman should deadlift shirtless to determine who gets to decide.

[Turdacious]

perhaps glassman and glasswoman should deadlift shirtless to determine who gets to decide.

Perhaps you should kick yourself in the nutz for suggesting that.

[Jay]

Perhaps you should kick yourself in the nutz for suggesting that.

I laughed hard. More of a guffaw

[Mountebank]

New info today! Come and get it!!!

First...Lauren.

From: Lauren Glassman <laurenjglassman@*************.com>
Date: August 9, 2012 14:53:05 EDT
To:
Subject: Important Message From Lauren Glassman


Dear CrossFit Affiliates,

There have been many questions since staff from CrossFit HQ, on July 28, 2012, made public my decision, pending court approval, to sell my 50% interest in CrossFit, Inc. to Anthos Capital. Unfortunately, Greg and CrossFit HQ declined my request to have a Q&A with Bryan Kelly of Anthos and myself during the CrossFit Tour in Montana. While I would have preferred that Bryan Kelly and I answer your specific questions in more detail, face-to-face, in Montana, I would like to take this opportunity to provide you the following information, which responds to the most frequent concerns expressed to me and in various social media.

My personal and professional pride and satisfaction starting CrossFit with Greg from a single box in Santa Cruz, California to the world-wide community it is today runs deep. In fact, like you, I am an Affiliate and will continue to be an Affiliate along with my team in Prescott, Arizona. Where I derive particular satisfaction is that like any strong family, while we don’t always see eye-to-eye, we are committed to understand another’s point of view and respect another’s ultimate decision.

As you may know, Greg and I decided to divorce more than two years ago. And as much as I believe and continue to believe in Greg’s vision for CrossFit, we both came to the realization that it would be better for everyone if we no longer continued to work alongside one another on a day-to-day basis. But, as Greg once told the community, CrossFit was “built from Lauren’s wisdom, perseverance, and understanding of [his] vision” as his “most trusted adviser and co-owner of CrossFit Inc.” And I would like to continue to provide that wisdom, perseverance, and understanding.

Some have claimed that I made the decision to sell my 50% interest in CrossFit for personal, rather than business, reasons. Some have said that I even rejected better offers from Greg. These claims are just not true It is true that I have a definitive agreement subject to court approval to sell my interest in CrossFit to Anthos for $20 million upfront. After discussing the matter with advisors, and considering multiple factors, I came to the conclusion that the Anthos deal was a better offer. While I would like to provide the details of Greg's offers, this requires permission from Greg to provide those details, and I have not yet received that permission.

When I met with Bryan a few months ago, he gave me the confidence that he and Anthos would take CrossFit to the next level of success at an important point in time. I ask that you take a few minutes and view the video, discussions by me and Bryan Kelly on many of the topics addressed by CrossFit HQ and the CrossFit community.

http://youtu.be/wBd7C_8aDqk [video embedded below]

Thank you for your time, your scrutiny, and your passion.

Lauren

Next...Bryan Kelly.

From: Bryan Kelly <bryan.kelly@************.com>
Date: August 9, 2012 15:02:56 EDT
To:
Subject: Message from Bryan Kelly and Anthos Capital


Dear CrossFit Affiliates and Members,

My name is Bryan Kelly. As you may have heard, my firm, Anthos Capital, has entered into an agreement with Lauren Glassman to buy her 50% interest in CrossFit, subject to court approval. Given the false information that is circulating, Lauren and I offered to host a live Q&A session for you at Big Sky Montana this weekend so we could have an honest and balanced discussion, but HQ rejected us. Instead, I’m providing this letter and video (link below) to give you the facts, so that you have an accurate picture about me, my firm, and our intentions, and can make your own informed judgment.

I'm a committed CrossFitter who cares deeply about this community: I believe that it might be helpful if you know about me, since my desire to invest stems from my passion for CrossFit. I’ve always taken my fitness seriously: wrestling and playing football in high school and competing in triathlons after college. After a co-worker introduced me to CrossFit two years ago, my definition of fitness completely changed. I began training at Bay Area CrossFit affiliates, and currently work out with a CrossFit coach who trains other athletes and is opening his own affiliate. I’m nowhere near the level of the Games-caliber athletes I look up to, but I have torn hands and PRs to show my progress. I am incredibly proud of my accomplishments thus far – I’m in better shape at 34 than I was at 24. My mile time has gone from 6:50 to 5:15, my max pull-up sets have increased from 8 to 24, my latest Fran time was 6:57, and my Helen time is 9:59. I’ve got a lot to work on. My current goals are to go sub 5:00 in both the mile and Fran, complete 30 or more pull-ups, and beat an 8:30 Helen. I know my performance isn’t overwhelming, but it is an example of the power of CrossFit to improve lives.

My experience has also given me a deep appreciation of the substantial commitment that affiliates make to help their members. Affiliate entrepreneurialism and freedom make CrossFit special, and it’s illogical for me (either as a member or an investor) to do anything that would reduce your motivation or happiness.

Anthos will own 50% of CrossFit, not a controlling interest: As a general point, Anthos will not be a majority investor or have any operational control over CrossFit. Our purchase of Lauren’s interest will merely allow us to step into her shoes as an equal owner. This means that Coach will continue to lead and manage CrossFit’s day-to-day operations, just as he has always done. We have no desire to change the Games, corporate partnerships, HQ staff, or cause Coach to take actions he does not believe in. We view our role as supporting HQ and helping the affiliates to achieve their own long-term objectives.

Anthos is a supportive, patient investment partner: Anthos’ philosophy is and always has been to play the role of a supportive investor in all of the companies in which we invest and, should the court approve this transaction, that would include CrossFit. I co-founded Anthos with my equal partner Paul Farr (Paul is also a CrossFitter) to support revolutionary businesses. We only invest in companies and teams whose missions and products we believe in. What makes us unique is that we have always been hands-off and only invest our founding and managing partners’ money. We have no outside interests, influences, pressures or conflicts. Our structure allows us to be committed owners, invest for the long-term, and support transformational businesses.

We want to invest for the simple reason that we strongly believe in CrossFit’s natural growth prospects: Our business is to support rapidly growing companies, and I believe that CrossFit’s ascent in the health and fitness industries has only just begun. CrossFit is on a path to having millions of members under the existing affiliate model. This trajectory will produce a company that is valuable, fun to be a part of, and impactful.

Our only role will be on CrossFit’s Board of Directors: We intend to offer help to CrossFit and Coach at the board level with the guidance essential to long-term viability: strategic development, financial planning, and any other areas that would help the Company and affiliates. Given the time, effort, and money affiliates have poured into building their boxes and servicing their members, they have a vested interest in knowing that HQ has the independence, skills, and systems to operate soundly well into the future. Other companies we have been involved with have welcomed our professional guidance – input that’s helped them strengthen their businesses and long-term prospects without changing their business models, values, or cultures.

We want affiliates to thrive, and we have no interest in the franchise model or other unwanted actions: There has been a lot of talk about franchising, and I want to be crystal clear that our proposed investment cannot and will not turn affiliates into franchises or force them to sell supplements, apparel, or any other products. Despite what has been said by some people on the message boards, we prefer the open market model that currently exists in which affiliates get to run their boxes as they see fit. This model syncs with my personal belief in autonomy, limited interference from big bureaucracy, healthy competition, and the special power of small-businesses. Thus, we intend to fully support affiliates continuing to run their boxes as they see fit. Any statements to the contrary on the message boards are simply wrong.

Lauren has a right to sell her 50% interest in CrossFit for a value she believes is fair: Lauren, along with Coach, played a significant role in CrossFit’s success, and she is now entitled to fair compensation for her hard work and ownership stake. It is understandable that in light of their divorce proceedings, Lauren would want to move on with her life and sell her ownership interest but continue as an affiliate. As Lauren has explained, Coach offered to buy her interest, but his offer was unsatisfactory to both her and her advisors. People have said that Coach’s offer was superior to ours and Lauren is spiteful. This is entirely false. Subject to court approval, we have agreed to pay Lauren $20 million cash upfront. Coach’s offer, as Lauren has explained, does not – in our view or the view of her advisors – come close to Anthos’ offer.

Coach is a visionary and important to this community: I believe that Coach is immensely talented, a rare visionary, and important to CrossFit’s future. We want Coach to continue leading CrossFit as CEO and will do what we can to support him. In fact, his vision, determination and creativity are a huge part of why we want to partner with him and invest in CrossFit.

Our desire to invest in CrossFit is driven by a passion for the sport, the affiliate model, and the community, and a belief in a bright future. Hopefully, I have helped to better inform your opinions and address your concerns. We are committed to pursuing this investment, and welcome an open dialogue with you.


Sincerely,
Bryan Kelly

Video: http://youtu.be/wBd7C_8aDqk [video embedded below]


PS. There are other specific falsehoods that have been spread that I would like to clarify. Here are the facts:

- Anthos has NO affiliation with any apparel manufacturer, or any equipment, nutritional, or fitness companies. We have no investment in any such companies, and no such companies have any investment in Anthos.

- Just as I believe affiliates need to strive to serve their members well, CrossFit HQ needs to do whatever possible to serve its affiliates well. Certain comments I made on this issue have been severely distorted from their intended meaning. It is true that in May 2011 I met with Coach and suggested that HQ could create tools that better help affiliates run their boxes (I was envision website hosting, online member billing, online storefront to sell any 3rd party products that a particular affiliate owner might already be recommending, etc). I believe that these tools should be optional, not mandatory, and that everyone benefits from the sharing of ideas. My suggestions were made after hearing anecdotes from affiliates who wanted solutions to streamline their own offerings and from trainers who wanted to open new affiliates, but were intimidated by the business logistics involved. Again, my view is that boxes should have the choice whether or not to implement such tools. My style is to brainstorm and throw out ideas for management to implement as they see fit, it may very well be that such tools are unnecessary (or that third parties are already filling this need), which is fine – no need to do anything.

It’s worth noting that Coach actually reacted positively to me following our meeting saying via email:

“It was great meeting you and seeing Chris again. We'll get together soon, we're significantly in sync when looking at CF's strategic and market potential. It would be a shame not to keep talking.” – Greg Glassman

- We had not been in contact with Lauren or any of her representatives prior to late April 2012. Coincidentally, at that time, our attorney informed me that Lauren had hired advisors to help her sell her CrossFit interest. I became convinced that Lauren would engage with buyers and because I believe Anthos is the best possible investment partner for CrossFit (I believe in Coach and his vision, I’m a CrossFitter and value the community, and we have the resources to move efficiently), I agreed to speak with Lauren. Rumors that I was introduced to Lauren in any other way are 100% false.

The video linked above:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBd7C_8aDqk[/youtube]

Dale Saran's response to Lauren:

Lauren:

I advised Greg not to consent to this request. We are in the middle of a lawsuit with you - you're suing both Greg and CrossFit, Inc. about its management decisions in public filings. Your putative partner, Bryan Kelly, is on record (repeatedly) praising both the success of the company and leadership and saying he wouldn't change a thing about Greg's management style. Those two positions are necessarily irreconcilable.

Anthos' conditional offer alone makes it clear they think well of CrossFit or they wouldn't be plopping down a big chunk of change in the hopes of acquiring your stake in CrossFit - which may or may not be 50% and they may or may not get - depending upon what a divorce judge in Arizona thinks. But your statement of the sale and percent stake as fact to staff, coupled with the sudden hiring of a PR firm, makes this appear to be something other than a request for an honest "dialogue" in front of both employees and Affiliates.

Finally, I seriously doubt that Bryan Kelly wants to get up in front of a room full of people - of which I will be one - and answer those questions, such as why he asked me repeatedly in person and in text for a copy of the Reebok contract and told me he could "get you out of that." Why he told me that Anthos had done some projections on how many shoes the average CrossFitter will buy in a year, as well as supplements? I could go on and on but you get the point. There's nothing good that could come of this session with litigation in multiple courts pending and possible.

Lauren, I still love you and remain committed to seeing you get the full value for your interest in CrossFit, as my duty to you requires, but you've broken my heart.

Dale

The censor police:

Censor police.png (41.09 KiB) Viewed 7275 times

[Holland Oates]

LOL @ anyone being afraid to answer any of Dale's questions.

[Mountebank]

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBd7C_8aDqk">YouTube Link</a>
Somebody save this shit.

Quack will. He has a desktop folder called "i hate CrossFit"

I only save pics. Folder called "@F Stuff".

[Turdacious]

Lauren, I still love you and remain committed to seeing you get the full value for your interest in CrossFit, as my duty to you requires, but you've broken my heart.

Dale"

Dale Saran, @fit Consigliere?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcFlp6kl508[/youtube]

[Yes I Have Balls]

Posted to preserve it's authenticity:

The video in question is really easy to find. Putting your questions about it in this thread and asking us to weigh in is easy. Why is it so important that we allow you to include a link to what is obviously deceptive propaganda?

If you have a legitimate question about a claim this video makes post it here. Let's just start with the "better offer" claim Lauren makes. I've been given permission to publish our offers to Lauren. Here is the timeline from our accountant:

"December 13th meeting: Proposal was given to Lauren for $1.5M for 15 years My understanding was they would get back to Harvey in three weeks.


March, 2012
We all met in Harveys office and from there a letter was sent requesting a response to our offer made in December by April 16th.

April 16:
We received a counter proposal with three options. I had numerous discussions with Lauren and that we were leaning toward option one: $17.5MM over 5 Years Tax Free. Lauren seemed very pleased as this met with her objective to have a shorter payment schedule. THERE WAS NEVER A PROPOSAL THAT SHE DESIRED ALL CASH UP FRONT!

June 4th:
We countered with on Option one to ladder the payments each year as follows: $1.5M. $2.5M, $3.5M, $4.5M AND $5.5M for a total of $17.5M.

June 18th:
We received a rejection of that offer from Grace Park and also that the original three proposals were being withdrawn.

I later met with Lauren and asked why they didn't submit total cash payment upfront...her comment was we didn't think you would be able to come up with the cash. So will you take cash from us and she said no I can't due to the definitive agreement she signed with Anthos."

Note, all of our payments to her would have been TAX FREE. She is currently taking a payment of 20 million (that we would have gladly met to counter Anthos had we been given the chance) and her 20 million is subject to a 40% capital gains tax.

So if you still think this was just about the money...

[Crust Bucket]

Jeezus more asshatery. Lets make private business public so all can speculate about it.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Bullshit on HQ paying her taxes

[Mountebank]

Funny stuff from the "@Fitters for Anthos" FB page:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fitters- ... 8464674560




Whoever this is...