The couch thread

[LiftHeavyShit]

I'd like one of you 175# fucks to come to my gym with me being a scant 175 and deadlift 500, squat 340 and bench 270. I'm waiting - and I only do bodyweight exercise now and can do that. Fuck its your way, or the highway isn't it. Fuck broad time and modal domains. Realize there are many ways to skin a cat be it CrossFit, Westside, Chuck Norris, or whatever the latest flavor of anabolic cocktail is out there.

Only a true CrossFuck prodigy would be swinging his dick around over these numbers. A 270 pound bench? Are you fucking serious? Can you submit a refund for your powerlifting cert? I'd look into it. There are kids on my son's high school squad who would pick you up and drop you on your head.

[TerryB]

Look at me! Thousands of years of history, now a prop for Cultfit!

[Shafpocalypse Now]

340/270/500

HAHAHAH. Someone doesn't want to work on his obvious weaknesses.

Long armed motherfucker.

[LiftHeavyShit]

CrossFit Football - a new CrossFit certification that is specific to the rigors of the game.

Well this is just hilarious and ironic on several levels. A former football player will teach housewives and poolboys that all they need is more GPP to become football players.

It's only a matter of time before the CrossFucks start talking shit about the combine. They'll be busting jokes about the bench press. I can see it now. A tatted up, shirtless bandit will invite himself to the combine and offer to demo his butterfly kips and Tran time for the scouts. If they don't agree, he'll ask if he can do reps with pvc instead of the typical 225# requirement.

[TerryB]

What most professional football players need is, more GPP.

R3@DY 4 N3th!n6!

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

200,000 pageviews...

well done.

[Mrs. Couch]

I went camping with Jack and Shapecharge this weekend. They are real outsdoormen, did you know they do this every month? Anyway I'll bring Greg next time so you guys don't miss out on the WOD.

[Gin Master]

One of the worst ever.

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=43875

Reading the zone cfj and wondered exactly how big is a cup? lol
All cups are different, is it referring to a measuring cup or an actual coffee cup? lol

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Fucking retard:

If you need help eyeballing a cup, its about the size of a baseball, or roughly the size of your fist.

Maybe if you have little girly hands.

[The Nightman]

Fucking retard:

If you need help eyeballing a cup, its about the size of a baseball, or roughly the size of your fist.

Maybe if you have little girly hands.

If some one would write, "The amount that fits into a 6" length of 1" PVC." there'd be no question. You just have to talk in their terms.

[Anon]

1 cup = 236,588,236 nanoliters

(that's a US Cup btw)

[Thud]

I ate four almonds too many today. Gonna have to hit the PVC hard tonight.

[The Nightman]

I ate four almonds too many today. Gonna have to hit the PVC hard tonight.

Dude, now you're out of the Zone and your whole body chemistry is fucked!

[Thud]

I ate four almonds too many today. Gonna have to hit the PVC hard tonight.

Dude, now you're out of the Zone and your whole body chemistry is fucked!

I think I'll be alright, I'm just gonna barf it all up anyway. Thank god for pukie.

[The Nightman]

I ate four almonds too many today. Gonna have to hit the PVC hard tonight.

Dude, now you're out of the Zone and your whole body chemistry is fucked!

I think I'll be alright, I'm just gonna barf it all up anyway. Thank god for pukie.

It's like hitting the reset button.

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

I ate four almonds too many today. Gonna have to hit the PVC hard tonight.

Dude, now you're out of the Zone and your whole body chemistry is fucked!

I think I'll be alright, I'm just gonna barf it all up anyway. Thank god for pukie.

It's like hitting the reset button.

are you master of karate and friendship?

[Sofa King]

Puke is Zone Perfect!

[JamesonBushmill]

I ate four almonds too many today. Gonna have to hit the PVC hard tonight.

Dude, now you're out of the Zone and your whole body chemistry is fucked!

I think I'll be alright, I'm just gonna barf it all up anyway. Thank god for pukie.

It's like hitting the reset button.

are you master of karate and friendship?

for everyone?

[The Nightman]

are you master of karate and friendship?

for everyone?

The Nightman Cometh, Bitchos!

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I think Canidae dog food is in the zone ratios

[Ryan]

Puke is Zone Perfect!

But what if you puke too many protein and fat blocks, but not any carb blocks?
Then I would get hyperinsulinemic and be out of the zone.

[Thud]

One time my friend, who's a baker, came over with some fresh baked whole grain bread. I had to try it because: a) it was still hot and steamy inside and b) so as not to insult him. I only had one slice, but I became deeply racked with guilt because bread is not paleo.

That night, after my friend left, I decided I had to recover my inner caveman grace, so I foraged for some poison berries - which had me purging from both ends for about a week. It was such a purifying experience - it totally encouraged my inner Neanderthal. To celebrate I made myself an animal skin kilt and wearing nothing more I did handstands in front of every tourist monument in New York.

Crossfit rules!

I'll have to see if I can dig out the pictures for you guys to see. The only thing I regret is not wearing underwear.

That reminds me of something I've always meant to ask. I know tats are paleo, but what about shaved balls?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Shaved balls have never gone out of style!

[Sofa King]

Puke is Zone Perfect!

But what if you puke too many protein and fat blocks, but not any carb blocks?
Then I would get hyperinsulinemic and be out of the zone.

Easy. Re-ingest.

[WildGorillaMan]

It's good to see that some affiliates understand that soft-core photos is what selling @fit is all about. Too many affiliate blog sites have crummy photos.

The attention whores at @fit Flagstaff let it all hang out: