The couch thread

[T200]

What the hell kind of @Fitting is this?

Also, the future of powderpuff is up and running!!! http://www.crossfitfootball.com/

[TerryB]

You know most new companies have reached a market top when they issue an IPO. In @fit's case, it's when they start selling "insurance" to the affiliates:

A Risk Retention Group is a form of self-insurance. Unlike a traditional insurance company, an RRG is formed and owned by its policyholders, and covers specific liabilities and actions, as defined by the RRG, which are most likely not covered by any insurance you’re going to be able to get. As mysterious as that might sound, RRGs are common practice for law enforcement officers, doctors practicing emergency medicine, contractors, medical product manufacturers, and a variety of other professionals in high-risk industries.

The important part of all this insurance jargon is that CrossFit will form its own independent company. This company will not be owned by CFHQ; it will be owned by YOU—the community, our affiliates and trainers. The owners will participate in underwriting, risk management, claims administration, and finance committees, all chaired and populated by people from our own community. We will have complete insight to and control of all facets of the RRG operations.

The CF-RRG was designed to fill a dangerous chink in our armor, and in doing so it serves an even more foundational goal: defense of our reputation. Think of the CF-RRG as our war chest, providing the resources to protect our community, methodology, and the trainers and affiliates whose livelihood depends on CrossFit’s success. It was also designed to guarantee that affiliates and trainers will be able to obtain insurance, and that insurance won’t be canceled when the insurance company gets skittish about what it has read in the media about “the dangers of CrossFit.”

HAHAHA! You DO know what Couch is doing, don't you? He's getting other people to pay to defend Cultfit so that when Cultfit HQ is finally sued outright, or when a lawsuit against an affiliate attempts to pull Cultfit HQ into the fray, Cultfit HQ won't have to foot the bill; all the affiliates will.

There used to be a lot more insurance cooperatives, where farmers, for instance, would chip in money to help spread the risk, but the cooperative was set up to protect each farmer, not to protect some overarching "Farmer HQ," like Couch is trying to do. He knows Cultfit HQ will be sued into the ground eventually; he's going to make the affiliates foot the bill with this insurance cooperative.

Also, he knows they can't get reasonably priced commercial insurance for their silly little Cult endeavor.

[WildGorillaMan]

HAHAHA! You DO know what Couch is doing, don't you? He's getting other people to pay to defend Cultfit so that when Cultfit HQ is finally sued outright, or when a lawsuit against an affiliate attempts to pull Cultfit HQ into the fray, Cultfit HQ won't have to foot the bill; all the affiliates will.

There used to be a lot more insurance cooperatives, where farmers, for instance, would chip in money to help spread the risk, but the cooperative was set up to protect each farmer, not to protect some overarching "Farmer HQ," like Couch is trying to do. He knows Cultfit HQ will be sued into the ground eventually; he's going to make the affiliates foot the bill with this insurance cooperative.

Also, he knows they can't get reasonably priced commercial insurance for their silly little Cult endeavor.

Oh, I get it, indeed. I'm just in awe of his breathtaking audacity. Gotta hand it to the guy.

[T200]

Audacity becomes second nature once one achieves God status.

Old article.

God’s Workout

The superfit walk among us. They saunter or strut, depending on whether they’re showcasing their magnificent agility or their oxlike strength. They ignore the chatter in the health media over treadmill technique and pedometer steps. They scoff even at seemingly rigorous practices like Mysore Ashtanga yoga and marathon training. They are America’s self-styled fitness elite, adherents of a punishing online exercise regime called CrossFit, which orders its followers to cultivate a distinctly martial — not to say paranoid — ideal of “physical preparedness.”

CrossFit has 450 chapters in 43 states (and several other countries). The network has a message for the merely healthy: “Your workout is our warm-up.” Every day, its members consult CrossFit.com like a Book of Common Prayer, receiving instructions for their workout rites and periods of rest. Performing caveman feats like hauling, clambering, trudging, snatching, hurling and deadlifting, CrossFitters deliberately overwhelm and distress their bodies, executing near-impossible stunts with as much weight as they can bear. A Workout of the Day, or W.O.D., might include 50 kettlebell swings, 3 800-yard dashes in rapid succession and 10 pull-ups. Then repeat. No breaks. No weight machines. All you need is a body built for discipline and a mind that can justify so much apparent self-abuse.

The spare site is the foundation of the CrossFit ministry. It resembles not so much a gym as a system of alleys, a rough-hewn underground network designed to train a super-race that wouldn’t be out of place in Marvel Comics. On a typical day, some 200 people post responses to the workout. (This looks fun, if by fun I mean painful and heinous . . . cry from pain . . . my hands are toast . . . lightheaded and dizzy . . . whoop, whoop!) It’s an exercise phenomenon custom-made for this moment in Web history: CrossFit couldn’t exist without lots of speedy, uploadable video; social networking; and an expansive platform for international, demographically varied community interaction. Many of the official demo videos feature women, and even among the rank and file, women are everywhere. A scan of members’ posted ages shows that participants are between 20 and 60, with many in their 30s. (There’s also a kids’ program.)

Even if handstand pushups have no place in your life, there’s something eye-opening and even inspiring about the site’s aggressive ambitions for the human body. Like urban-gymnast traceurs and other daredevils who have come into their own on digital video, CrossFitters offer themselves as evidence that people are capable of more than merely giving up sugar for Splenda and taking the stairs occasionally; according to the CrossFit creed, they can and should also be prepared to fell trees, tame bulls and carry families of four on their backs. Olympians, soldiers, police officers, firefighters and devoted fitness amateurs convene on the site, reveling in max squats and circus-strongman stunts, which they repeat as many as 100 times per workout. This is exercise not for vanity or for longevity but for an imagined moment of heroism that may never come.

CrossFit’s founder, Greg Glassman, is referred to by his disciples simply as Coach, which contributes to the program’s cultlike vibe. A former gymnast who put his longtime training program online in 2001, Glassman is known for his impatience with exercisers who fear injury: “There’s nothing about crashing that makes you drive faster, right? But you’re not going to learn to drive real fast unless you’ve wrecked once or twice.” In brazen, inventive, hortatory speeches and prose, he leans on the conceit of “forging,” blacksmith style. His Web site is “forging elite fitness,” and his message board is “forging elite community.” CrossFit represents a ministry for Glassman, who is intent on drafting and redrafting his program — so intent, in fact, that he has said he works out inconsistently.

The enemies in the eyes of the CrossFit crowd are “Stairmaster chumps” (who log long, drowsy hours on the machines but huff and puff on actual stairs) and myopic “specialists” — athletes or exercisers who neglect versatility in order to refine one or two skills. The CrossFitters’ critique has chastened at least one specialist. An essay by a triathlete named Tom Demerly titled “How Fit Are We?” appeared on a biking blog, conceding that if triathletes “found ourselves in a jam that required overall physical fitness to survive, we’d probably be in trouble.” Further admitting that he could barely do a single pull-up, Demerly went on to praise the fitness of a CrossFit type he had met named Joe Sparks, who “gave a demonstration using a 50-pound kettlebell making it look like he was maneuvering a tennis ball.”

The CrossFitters are not always so admirable. If you hang out long enough on the site, you’ll stumble on a garish cartoon clown called Uncle Rhabdo. This is one of the network’s mascots — a hideous figure, often shown vomiting — who suffers from rhabdomyolysis, a dangerous condition in which damaged muscle tissue enters the bloodstream. He’s disgusting. The clown is worshiped only half in jest by the CrossFit crowd, which can see exercise-induced injury as martyrdom to the cause. In a 2005 interview, Glassman said of CrossFit: “It can kill you. . . . I’ve always been completely honest about that.”

The last time I checked the site, I noticed something new and disturbing posted under the W.O.D. It was a picture of a broad-shouldered, bearded man, captioned by this epitaph: “Senior Chief Petty Officer Thomas J. Valentine, 37, of Ham Lake, Minn., died in a training accident in Arizona on Feb. 13.” As the CrossFitters prepared for that day’s workout (115-pound thruster, 21 reps; 15-foot rope climb, 12 ascents; 115-pound thruster, 15 reps; 15-foot rope climb, 9 ascents; 115-pound thruster, 9 reps; 15-foot rope climb, 6 ascents), they posted condolences like “Fair Winds, Chief.” One CrossFitter linked to a more official obituary, which revealed that Valentine, who died in a military exercise, was a Navy SEAL and part of the Naval Special Warfare Development Group in Virginia Beach, Va.

Valentine’s death seemed to strike many in the group as something to be suitably honored in their own training. As he prepared for his W.O.D., one CrossFitter wrote, “Through every moment of pain in this workout I will feel blessed.”

[Mountebank]

Seriously. Someone make the bullshittery stop....
http://www.crossfitfootball.com/page/in ... age=whatis

How do we know CrossFit Football's programming works? Because it has been designed by NFL players and some of the top coaches in the world. Not only has it been created by top athletes, but it has been used to compete at the highest levels of professional sports. The utility of this program is not theoretical; it has not been designed by someone that thinks it might work, but by athletes and coaches that have dominated at the highest levels of competitive athletics.

This shite hasn't even been around long enough for them to finish their webpage and they are claiming DOMINATION...

[Grandpa's Spells]

Big LOL!!! =D> =D> =D> =D>

Holy cow that is some serious bullshit.

[Blaidd Drwg]

Seriously. Someone make the bullshittery stop....
http://www.crossfitfootball.com/page/in ... age=whatis

How do we know CrossFit Football's programming works? Because it has been designed by NFL players and some of the top coaches in the world. Not only has it been created by top athletes, but it has been used to compete at the highest levels of professional sports. The utility of this program is not theoretical; it has not been designed by someone that thinks it might work, but by athletes and coaches that have dominated at the highest levels of competitive athletics.

This shite hasn't even been around long enough for them to finish their webpage and they are claiming DOMINATION...

I hope they don't adjust their dosages based on the advice of former NFL palyers...I'd hate to see Eva's dick get any bigger..

[Blaidd Drwg]

The insurance idea is interesting. With something like this, it doesn't make sense without a catastrophic umbrella, but the umbrella carrier would have a big challenge figuring out how to underwrite the risk. And there's really two levels of risk - one at the trainer level and one at the Crossfit-as-licensor level, either directly or through vicarious liability.

Out of curiosity, does Crossfit license trainers or gyms at a specific site to use the Crossfit name? Are there quality control aspects? Does someone inspect the gym? Is there a manual to be followed? Do inspectors come out and check on trainers in practice? Are there limits on non-certified people teaching?

The legal and financial aspects of this are also very tricky. Insurance is regulated. You need agreements on how to operate, how to make decisions, and how to handle the funds. It's quite an undertaking.

Yo! Lawdog..give us a primer on why this is a retarded thing for crossfit to do...I need more context to direct my hate. I'm sure you have a 1L or 2L under your desk right now you could spare for a couple hours of research.

[Mountebank]

How you say...fixed?

How do we know @F Football's programming works? We don't, because it's new and unproven, but it has been designed by a single steroid-using NFL player (and some other has-beens and never was-ers) and some of the top non-sport coaches in the world, declared such by themselves and cult followers. Not only has it been created by top athletes (don't mind that they weren't football players), but it has been used to attempt to compete at the highest levels of professional sports (but mainly the non-sport of @F). The utility of this program is simply theoretical--it is based on complete and utter bullshit marketing, cult-faith, and has been designed by people that think it will sell tons of weekend cert$$$.

I personally can't wait to see the @F Football "Diet" for linemen. Paleo/Zone it sure ain't gonna be...

[TerryB]

How do we know CrossFit Football's programming works? Because it has been designed by NFL players and some of the top coaches in the world.

What's this? They're programming now? What happened to the Black Box (c) approach: throw gin-fueled charicatures of Jesse's Wrestling Encyclopedia into a pile of douchebags, whores, and narcissists and see what comes out!

[Grandpa's Spells]

How do we know CrossFit Football's programming works? Because it has been designed by NFL players and some of the top coaches in the world.

What's this? They're programming now? What happened to the Black Box (c) approach: throw gin-fueled charicatures of Jesse's Wrestling Encyclopedia into a pile of douchebags, whores, and narcissists and see what comes out!

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

The hate is very finely honed today.

[Mickey O'neil]

I say GAWDAMN!

Where in the fuck did you find this picture?! I want more!

[T200]

I hope they don't adjust their dosages based on the advice of former NFL palyers...I'd hate to see Eva's dick get any bigger..

Future of Eva...

[wtf]

I hope they don't adjust their dosages based on the advice of former NFL palyers...I'd hate to see Eva's dick get any bigger..

Future of Eva...

[tough old man]

Damn it Tom !!! Dude warn somebody before you post that thing !

[Fat Cat]

You are a worthless bitch.

[Ripe Turd]

[Holland Oates]

I say GAWDAMN!

Where in the fuck did you find this picture?! I want more!

http://www.sharikeener.blogspot.com/

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Resident Quack:

Thumbs up, homey!

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Unfortunately for Welborn and all the other CFFB coaches, all their concurrrent shit is contraindicated for a professional.

[Holland Oates]

What the hell kind of @Fitting is this?

Also, the future of powderpuff is up and running!!! http://www.crossfitfootball.com/

I hate to say it but that doesn't look too bad.

I may actually give it a shot. Until it gets fucking ridiculous like the main page workout.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Issurin lays it out nicely.
Table 2.12, page 67, Block Periodization: Breakthrough in Sport Training

Typical compatible combinations of different training modalities and psycho-physiological factors that create a beneficial interaction of combined workloads

Aerobic endurance/alactic sprint ability

-Brief sprint bouts break the monotony and sprinting recruits a wide spectrum of muscle fibers that remain activated during subsequent aerobic workloads

Aerobic endurance/strength endurance

-The increased oxidation can be exploited in strength exercises and a combination of conventional and resistance exercises enriches the training program

Anaerobic(glycolytic) endurance/anaerobic strength endurance

-The glycolitic capacity can be effectively used by combining speed assisted, conventional and high resistance exercises. The mental factors in lactate tolerance are subject to augmented impact

Alactic sprint ability/explosive strength

-Explosive strength components (jumps, throws, strokes, etc) used in alactic work intervals accentuate motor output

Maximum strength/flexibility

-stretching exercises facilitate muscular and mental relaxation, which can be exploited for active restoration in maximum strength workouts

Maximum strength/aerobic exercises

-low intensity aerobic exercises activate metabolic recovery and muscular and mental relaxation. This is useful for restorantion during and after the strength workout.

[Thud]

I say GAWDAMN!

Where in the fuck did you find this picture?! I want more!

http://www.sharikeener.blogspot.com/

I know this broad got dumped and is desperate to validate herself, but posting provocative photos and telling us she loves to walk around her house in panties and heels - while providing her full name and town of residence - is just asking to be prowled and stalked.

Darling, yes, you're hotter than most 40 yr olds, and I appreciate the soft porn, but do yourself a favor and stop telling everyone where they can peep you live. And if they do, please don't tell us how shocking and upsetting it was.

[Sassenach]

That would be a good follow-up to the original picture on the HCwDB blog.

lol found it:

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/ ... olics.html

"Knock Knock"
"Who's There?"
"Douche Shark."

[Mountebank]

Shaf, gracias. @F just makes it easy for me, what with their hypocrisy, selling out, and general money-grubbing. Here we have some good stuff, Welbourn's response to heretics questioning the @F FB experiment, http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/004595.html post #71"

Lewis Dunn - What athletes? What about me? This is the training I did to play/start for 9 plus years in the NFL. The reason CrossFit worked for me was because it was very close to the training I had done since college. What coaches? What about Greg Glassman, Kelly Starrett, ex football player, coached his athlete to a gold medal, Mark Rippetoe, Max Mormont, Andy Stumpf. What about other football players that are involved? Keep an eye out...this is out first day. You will see content added and watch it grow. In a year you can make the decision on whether this is junk marketing. Actually show up to a CFFB certification...you we can see who is junk. Thanks.

(gasp) Wait...is Welbourn implying that the GWF DIDN'T INVENT CIRCUIT TRAINING?!?! Someone get that guy some Kool-Aid and teach him his place on the pecking order! Or that training "like @F" wasn't good enough to make Welbourn elitely fit to rise above everyone else without using steroids? Pfft.

Then we have the well-refined skill that Welbourn must have learned from Couch himself of claiming to train elite athletes without ever dropping a single name.

It would appear from the other comments that CFHQ's official stance on Welbourn's steroid use is to ignore all those posts completely, as if anyone is going to let them forget about it. It's like Schwarzenegger when he was head of the President's Council on Fitness...

And finally, we have Welbourn trying to defend the hyperbolic marketing of a program that is completely untested and unproven..."(sniffle) but, but, just wait, you'll see, we'll be awesome, don't be so mean to us...(sniffle)"