The couch thread

[Holland Oates]

Nah.

I talk loads of shit about this stuff, yet I've competed in athletic events consistently over my entire life. From the Crim 10 miler in Flint, to literally hundreds of rugby games and wrestling matches, to impromptu dick measuring stunts...

The only shit I won't attempt to do when someone calls me out on it is shit that has a high probability of causing permanent injury, shit with spiders, and shit jumping off high places into water.

But Shaf we all know you've competed in various sports.

Anyone can talk shit but it means a bit more when someone talks shit that has actually put it out there and had their own ass handed to them a few times.

And I don't know if I've ever seen you run someone down for accomplishing something significant even if you don't care for the sport. As long as it's a legit sport that is.

[WildGorillaMan]

Carrying a sandbag 23 feet? Wow, you can just see the elite coming off of that like heat shimmer off a sidewalk.

[TerryB]

There in lies the problem. It's never the studs running their heads it's the fucking douche nuggets who've never competed in anything in their life. Their mentor Couch has never competed in anything so they see no need to compete in a real event to test their mettle.

Ah but you're forgetting, they're training to compete in LIFE! And remember what The Wise One said, "Nature favors the generalist and punishes the specialist."

Think of it like this: by not competing in any measurable competitions, they show their DOMINANCE in LIFE! Yeah they can't win any competitions, or even post decent results, but when the shit hits the fan, they're ready!

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I know EZ, I'm just in the mood to be contrary or something.

I'm not a true-hater by any means, I'm too mellow to work up V for Vengeance type venom.

[The Venerable Bogatir X]

Carrying a sandbag 23 feet? Wow, you can just see the elite coming off of that like heat shimmer off a sidewalk.

=D> =D> =D>

[Gin Master]

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This would actually be one of the best things you could do with your typical soft newb gymgoer. Most people have no concept of what healthy eating is. And a lot of folks that think they eat well actually eat garbage. Thumbs down for the douchiness, but thumbs up for the idea.

POD's right. The guy posts some shithead stuff. Here's what the self-proclaimed "nutrition expert" says you should eat to get big and pull trucks and shit.

View the chart below for healthy guidelines for Protein, Fat and Carbohydrate Ranges:

Nutrient
Carbohydrates
Fat
Protein (Men)

Healthy Range
45%-65%
20%-35%
10%-35%

To be fair, this dude has written some decent info on nutrition. But his ratios give me the lulz.

According to this jackass, I just consumed a week's worth of protein at lunch.

[JohnnyBadAss]

http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=47081
Hey, I guess ESPN shows lots of non-sports, like The World Series of Poker.

[Blaidd Drwg]

Everyone talks shit about endurance athletes but to be competitive on even the local level is fucking hard. And everyone is cool.

Word. I don't know how many thicknecks and CF'ers I count as friends now that think enduro sports are NBD because they did a mountain bike race once. Completing some BS funride is not the same thing as holding a pro card.

Used to know a guy who competed in open water swim races all along the west coast, he was apparently pretty good, master national champ many times over. Would race bikes on days he wasn't swimming. He competed in events are between 500 meters and 10k... specialized in the really long ones. All alone, no fans, can't even see your competitors half the time and if you win you get a medal. Had huge admiration for him, very collected, centered and focused guy.

too bad about his modal domains.

[Gin Master]

http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=47081
Hey, I guess ESPN shows lots of non-sports, like The World Series of Poker.

I also heard that it was a possibility. But it is not going to happen. I can't remember the exact reasons behind the decisions. What would be awesome is if they could stream it so we could pick it up on the internet!

The exact reasons? Because ESPN would rather televise shrew races in Bangalore before sending a crew to tape a bunch of androgynous fucktards doing thrusters.

[Holland Oates]

I know EZ, I'm just in the mood to be contrary or something.

I'm not a true-hater by any means, I'm too mellow to work up V for Vengeance type venom.

I feel you man. My hate has ebbed a bit over the past year or so. Mainly because I don't read the Cultfit message boards and I never visit the main page and because I see a few affiliates actually using a bit of sense in their training by including some periodization or by tempering the whole spouting of kool aid infused nonsense.

And to tell the truth I just don't fucking care anymore. It's fun to read the bullshit here but I don't go searching the web for it anymore.

All I care about is my training and taking it easy while the good times last.

[POD]

This would actually be one of the best things you could do with your typical soft newb gymgoer. Most people have no concept of what healthy eating is. And a lot of folks that think they eat well actually eat garbage. Thumbs down for the douchiness, but thumbs up for the idea.

Yeah, but you can be sure the trip will be full of them spouting all sorts of stuff on the Zone/Paleo/IF. While each one of those three things has its merit, if you try to throw all that stuff on a new guy, especially in the overzealous CrossFit way, you're going to do nothing but convince him that you're crazy.

Just eat real food. Once you've got that shit mastered, you can start to look for more.

[CultBuster]

Well I'd be lying to you if I said I wasn't annoyed/embarrassed that I did not qualify for the 2009 Crossfit Games. Looking back at the weekend there are so many emotions floating around in my head about my performance each day

How do you post shit like this? I was worried I'd turn gay reading it!

Like I said my best was 7:07 so I was hoping that with the atmosphere I'd be able to get that sub 7! Unfortunately I wasn't able to because I tried a new strategy (which I don't care to go into) which ended up hurting me rather then helping me. I pulled 7:11 which was nothing compared to the other times

The atmosphere at the gaymes couldn't get you to row 7 seconds off your PR? It put 4 seconds on it!

Finishing that WOD and winning my heat was an amazing feeling I hope I can create again. Everyone was cheering for me and I felt like I actually accomplished something.

Thats what WOds are supposed to do, make you FEEL like you accomplished something. Had you done a 5x5 of heavy squats (real heavy not @fit heavy) you would have ACTUALLY accomplished something!

[T200]

From the AWESOME injury forum...

Swollen & Numb Legs

This past weekend I participated in the Northeast qualifier and had a blast, but my body is paying for it. Here is the background. I iced both my left and right hipflexor area Saturday night. (direct ice 5 minutes on 10 minutes off, two rounds for each leg) I have done this for two weeks heading in to the games due to a slight pull from doing heavy squats without a proper warmup.

Anyway I noticed that my thighs went a little numb after the icing session on Saturday night. I can't seem to get the numbness to go away. I am guessing that a combination of the Saturdays workouts (heavy thrusters/Burpees and Rowing) led to the numbing sensation in my legs. This didn't affect me on Sunday, I can't be sure if my legs were still a bit numb before the workout Sunday but I did notice after the workout Sunday that the numbness came back. Monday I noticed that I was still a bit numb at times. Today it was back to the desk job and I didn't get up much due to being busy catching up from a long weekend. When I went to the gym to do a light warm up and stretch I noticed that the numbness was back and now my legs were all swollen.

I am getting a bit concerned about the numbness and the swelling.

Has this happened to anyone?
Any suggestions on how to get rid of the numbness and swelling in my legs? Should I be seriously concerned?

Any advice would be appreciated.

[Kraj]

If you need to ice anything, you're screwed. Add to that numbness and you should probably start looking for a good deal on a wheelchair.

[CultBuster]

They make this shit too easy. caption?

MirandaNadiaGolden1.jpg (137.38 KiB) Viewed 6557 times

[Grandpa's Spells]

From the AWESOME injury forum...

Swollen & Numb Legs

This past weekend I participated in the Northeast qualifier and had a blast, but my body is paying for it. Here is the background. I iced both my left and right hipflexor area Saturday night. (direct ice 5 minutes on 10 minutes off, two rounds for each leg) I have done this for two weeks heading in to the games due to a slight pull from doing heavy squats without a proper warmup.

Anyway I noticed that my thighs went a little numb after the icing session on Saturday night. I can't seem to get the numbness to go away. I am guessing that a combination of the Saturdays workouts (heavy thrusters/Burpees and Rowing) led to the numbing sensation in my legs. This didn't affect me on Sunday, I can't be sure if my legs were still a bit numb before the workout Sunday but I did notice after the workout Sunday that the numbness came back. Monday I noticed that I was still a bit numb at times. Today it was back to the desk job and I didn't get up much due to being busy catching up from a long weekend. When I went to the gym to do a light warm up and stretch I noticed that the numbness was back and now my legs were all swollen.

I am getting a bit concerned about the numbness and the swelling.

Has this happened to anyone?
Any suggestions on how to get rid of the numbness and swelling in my legs? Should I be seriously concerned?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Could be a blood clot. There was a Russian soldier in the news who described the same symptoms after being abused by superiors. He ended up with gangrene and both legs and his genitals amputated. Power to you!

[Fat Cat]

Sonogram stat.

[Gin Master]

Just eat real food. Once you've got that shit mastered, you can start to look for more.

You're right, POD. But how many people do you think know what real food is?

[POD]

Just eat real food. Once you've got that shit mastered, you can start to look for more.

You're right, POD. But how many people do you think know what real food is?

This makes it pretty clear: http://lifespotlight.com/health/2008/6/ ... -remember/

It's a perfectly reasonable idea too. When you start ranting about how many blocks of this and that you need to enter "your zone," and whether a 1/2 cup strawberries is for whole or diced because the 12 calorie difference is crucial, people will look at you like you're a loon, because you are.

[Gin Master]

I'm sure he's done Century Club competitions for years. Hell of a lot more impressive with gin, I've only done them with beer.

=D>

I know EZ, I'm just in the mood to be contrary or something.

I'm not a true-hater by any means, I'm too mellow to work up V for Vengeance type venom.

I feel you man. My hate has ebbed a bit over the past year or so. Mainly because I don't read the Cultfit message boards and I never visit the main page and because I see a few affiliates actually using a bit of sense in their training by including some periodization or by tempering the whole spouting of kool aid infused nonsense.

And to tell the truth I just don't fucking care anymore. It's fun to read the bullshit here but I don't go searching the web for it anymore.

All I care about is my training and taking it easy while the good times last.

What the hell is going on here? Has this turned into the feelings forum? You boys need to head over the juice thread and we'll get you something for your flagging hate glands.

It's not about hating those who try and fail. It's about scorning those who don't do shit but put themselves on a pedestal by running others (teh specialists) down. I don't give a damn what sport you do, sign up. That's it. Sign the fuck up, and hang it out. I've had my ass kicked across multiple time and modal domains, and I'm sure it will happen again. I've also dished out a few, and I've always respected those I have beaten a hell of a lot more than the dicks who sit in the stands and point fingers.

To be clear, we are Knights Templar on a crusade against Couch. That bald alkie has declared war on the fitness industry, and people like us have to fight that war. People like us have to say, NO, Bill Starr not a homo! NO, Mel Siff was not a dirty kweer! NO, Joe Weider and AbGod and Bob Paris were...well...Anyway, fuck Couch and the horse he rode in on. Fuck Castro. Fuck Budding. Fuck Lynne Pitts and her Third Reich. Fuck women who want to look like men and men who want to look like women. Fuck everyone who ran Dan John out of the compound. Fuck everyone on the @F forums who rims Couch for curb-stomping every sad sack who disagrees with him. Fuck PVC.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Gin Master, whoa whoa whoa!

Ed and me might be camping but there's no red wine and candles and shit, it's Jack Daniels and a roaring fire with some topless bitches running around all fucked up on X and xanax.

[Blaidd Drwg]

xanax is so.....so...benzy. No opiates for Shaf and Edzzz?

Ginny needs a brisket and he'll be fine.

[Fat Cat]

Park a couple of 10 mgs in my pooper and we can hot tub yo. A little alcohol and everything is lovely.

[sigifrith007]

fuck PVC. I like it. I had a few 7-9 year olds tonight in class. they all lifted on a 10kg bar, with real, metal weights on the bar. Ive coached OL since 1995, had my first kid to qualify for a national event in 1996. never used PVC. And yes, I coach the young kids. Dane is 5 years old. He doesnt use PVC. So yes, fuck PVC. I have an 11 year old girl that cleans 60kg. Who needs PVC? What adult needs something lighter than a 5-6 year old. Fuck PVC. Home Depot will get no business from me. At least on the PVC thing... I like their flower selection.

sig

[Fish]

I still remember a thread a while back where someone was talking shit about some olympian that couldn't do pullups before @fitting, and how worthless of a human being they were because that person would not have been able to save babies from a burning building.

That is right about when I signed off their message boards. All fucking hope was lost.