The couch thread

Fat Cat · Post by **Fat Cat** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:33 am

powerlifter54 wrote: for example the jealousy everybody here has for me is sickenning, but i plod on.

We can't all be 5'4".

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:34 am

Dave, that be me. I'm just acknowleding this fine work.

I will continue to lurk. Like this site, but I'm not sure I can keep up
with you guys.

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:40 am

Fat Cat wrote:
powerlifter54 wrote: for example the jealousy everybody here has for me is sickenning, but i plod on.
We can't all be 5'4".

touche'

LMAO

Dave · Post by **Dave** » Fri Dec 15, 2006 3:59 am

Gary John wrote:Dave, that be me. I'm just acknowleding this fine work.

I will continue to lurk. Like this site, but I'm not sure I can keep up
with you guys.

Welcome Gary. I just read and post occasionally and try to keep the kids under a lit bit of control. As long as you have pretty thick skin you'll be ok. You havent received the official IGX Welcome yet.

So let me be the first to say

Welcome to IGX Fuck you, have a nice day $\:D/$ $\:D/$

Abandoned by Wolves · Post by **Abandoned by Wolves** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:38 am

odin wrote: I guess it goes back to the question of 'what is x-fit?'... and to be honest, it's nowhere near important enough to warrant such naval gazing.

Truer knowledges were never spoke. If a person wants to think of themselves as a "x-fitter", and it makes them happy, that's good enough for me. As far as I can tell, all x-fitters really want out of their workouts is to a) do a wide variey of BWEs and weight lifting exercises and b) be tired and sore all the time. Fair enough, and it probably beats sitting around in the opium den sucking on a hookah, or gambling your life savings away at the track.

GoDogGo! · Post by **GoDogGo!** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 2:21 am

Lemon Magic wrote: and it probably beats sitting around in the opium den sucking on a hookah, or gambling your life savings away at the track.

A hookah in an opium den?

GDG!

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 4:11 am

"But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from a 200 pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year. We will though work the deadlift, like most lifts, approximately once per week at higher reps and under grueling conditions. It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable."

http://www.powerathletesmag.com/archive ... assman.htm

Lots of things i wouldn't argue with in here, but no mention of pukey or rhabdo.

Girls?

GoDogGo! · Post by **GoDogGo!** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:07 am

With heartfelt apologizes to all the Tom Waits fans out there, it's time for another song. As with JB's reworking of "Satin Doll," it helps if you play the original.

16 Plates

I put 16 plates on my rusty old bar
And a fat Coach slunk on back to the fridge
So I spent my buttons on a @fit cert
And I cut me some rings from a maple-glazed donut
And I hung 'em right from a dandelion tree
Hung them rings from a dandelion tree
Hung 'em right from a dandelion tree

And I filled a sandbag
Full of old lead bricks
And I made some paralettes from an chopstick
And I punched that Coach in his "old injury"
Punched that Couch in his "rings injury"
And I swung a kettlebell
'bout the size of a kickdrum
Now I got me some chronic
Tendinitis in my elbow

Chorus:

Gonna call ya "weak performer"
Fat Coach 16 plates on my rusty old bar
Call you "weak performer"
Fat Coach 16 plates on my rusty old bar

I passed out in a puddle
Of my own flop sweat
And I jacked up my back
With a bad snatch set
Jacked up my back with a bad snatch set
Pukey and me and the Reaper made three
You gotta meet me by the piles of franchise fee$
With a two-inch climbing rope
Stretched like a clothesline
You know me and that Coach can't get off the couch

(repeat chorus)

Now I get folks banned
From an online jail
That strapped on the back
Of my old Fat Coach
Strapped it on the back of that old Fat Coach
Pinch his tits just to drive him crazy
I call him "Cooch" just to rattle his cage
Call him "Cooch" just to rattle his cage

(repeat chorus)

GDG!

bill fox · Post by **bill fox** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:50 am

Please tell me the tattoo in he Dec 16th pic was done with a sharpie.

http://www.crossfit.com/

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:04 pm

bill fox wrote:Please tell me the tattoo in he Dec 16th pic was done with a sharpie.

Gawd I hope so....Either that or I hope it hurt like a mother fucker and the artist used rusty needles.

rjudo · Post by **rjudo** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:43 pm

Hmmmmm, good kool-aid.
What a fuckin' dumbass.

Rick

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:07 pm

bill fox wrote:Please tell me the tattoo in he Dec 16th pic was done with a sharpie.

http://www.crossfit.com/

check out the posts to the 5x5 DL workout.

1 above 500for 5
2 above 400for 5
nothing to be shy about..

Everybody else 300 or so for 5 as top set.

Where are the 700 DLers?

Renegade Doughboy · Post by **Renegade Doughboy** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 9:09 pm

It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable.

Is he implying that heart rate is somehow related to limit strength?

DARTH · Post by **DARTH** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:12 pm

16 shells from a 30.06, on of my favorites.

Abandoned by Wolves · Post by **Abandoned by Wolves** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:08 am

GoDogGo! wrote:With heartfelt apologizes to all the Tom Waits fans out there, it's time for another song. As with JB's reworking of "Satin Doll," it helps if you play the original.

16 Plates

I put 16 plates on my rusty old bar
And a fat Coach slunk on back to the fridge
So I spent my buttons on a @fit cert
And I cut me some rings from a maple-glazed donut
And I hung 'em right from a dandelion tree
Hung them rings from a dandelion tree
Hung 'em right from a dandelion tree

And I filled a sandbag
Full of old lead bricks
And I made some paralettes from an chopstick
And I punched that Coach in his "old injury"
Punched that Couch in his "rings injury"
And I swung a kettlebell
'bout the size of a kickdrum
Now I got me some chronic
Tendinitis in my elbow

Chorus:

Gonna call ya "weak performer"
Fat Coach 16 plates on my rusty old bar
Call you "weak performer"
Fat Coach 16 plates on my rusty old bar

I passed out in a puddle
Of my own flop sweat
And I jacked up my back
With a bad snatch set
Jacked up my back with a bad snatch set
Pukey and me and the Reaper made three
You gotta meet me by the piles of franchise fee$
With a two-inch climbing rope
Stretched like a clothesline
You know me and that Coach can't get off the couch

(repeat chorus)

Now I get folks banned
From an online jail
That strapped on the back
Of my old Fat Coach
Strapped it on the back of that old Fat Coach
Pinch his tits just to drive him crazy
I call him "Cooch" just to rattle his cage
Call him "Cooch" just to rattle his cage

(repeat chorus)

GDG!

With apologies to Tennesse Ernie Ford:

"You pull 16 Plates
And what to you get?
Another disk rupture
To add to your set.
St. Peter don't you "rhabdo"
Cause I can't go...
I've got blood speckles
In my urine flow!"

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:39 am

I know someone who goes through those, fires up a proxy, and posts either an outrageous time, or just a slightly better WOD than everyone.

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:58 am

bill fox wrote:Please tell me the tattoo in he Dec 16th pic was done with a sharpie.

http://www.crossfit.com/

Sadly, no. Looks real.

Stupid, like a tat, is forever.

Fat Cat · Post by **Fat Cat** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 5:12 pm

Funny story. On Thursday we are doing our Muay Thai, I notice a puny little cracker sniffing around the place. I sez "hi" and ask if he was interested in joining the class, he sez no, he's looking at the space because he is discussing holding classes there during the day. "What do you teach?" sez I.

"Crossfit."

He never knew how close he was to death.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:55 pm

bill fox wrote:Please tell me the tattoo in he Dec 16th pic was done with a sharpie.

http://www.crossfit.com/

The rest of his ink work is FUCKED...UP. Looks like mafuckin' prison tats. I believe I'd have left my shirt on, but X-fitters have no shame.

Fat Cat · Post by **Fat Cat** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:11 pm

Prison tats are the best kind. I hate gay assed studio crap. All my tats are done with the string from an electric bass and a Braun shaver motor.

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 3:29 am

Fat Cat wrote:Funny story. On Thursday we are doing our Muay Thai, I notice a puny little cracker sniffing around the place. I sez "hi" and ask if he was interested in joining the class, he sez no, he's looking at the space because he is discussing holding classes there during the day. "What do you teach?" sez I.

"Crossfit."

He never knew how close he was to death.

You know Mak, you catch more flies with honey than a blunderbuss.

LOL

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:15 am

powerlifter54 wrote:You know Mak, you catch more flies with honey than a blunderbuss.

Lies

PC Polar Circle Person · Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:20 am

Fat Cat wrote:Prison tats are the best kind. I hate gay assed studio crap. All my tats are done with the string from an electric bass and a Braun shaver motor.

LOL. Sounds familiar, but I think we used a Braun and those needles that they pin up insects with. You could actually get some dope for the right kind of a Braun.

odin · Post by **odin** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:49 pm

the tattoo pic makes me weep for mankind.

Surely even the most diehard x-fitters must cringe at this kind of idocy?

I mean, I've got a tattoo of Dan John's face on my arm but it's done well - tasteful and that.

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 1:33 am

About my favorite reggae song:

Dedicated to the inked amond us...

Mighty Sparrow â€“ She Sits On Me

Now listen to my story boys
I need your sympathy
That big fat tattooed girl in the circus
Fell in love with me
And to prove her love was sweet as sugarcane tadee
She had my picture tattooed on her body

She had the landing of the pilgrims on her shoulder
And on her back she had the sunset of the west
And right beside her dimpled knees
Is the great big apple trees
And the pyramids look lovely on her chest

When she decided that she liked to add my picture
She simply couldnâ€™t find a vacant spot you see
So, she tattooed my poor face
In the most peculiar place
Now whenever that girl sits down, she sits down on me
Oho whenever that girl sits down, she sits down on me
Oho ayayee oh yup boy aah aah ono no ayee

She has a lovely blue gardenian by her elbow
And on her hips she has the lovely queen of Maid
And right beside her shapely spine
If you see that paramount
You will see the famous road too, men have laid

She has a rusty hinge thatâ€™s tattooed on her kneecap
It looks so real, itâ€™s quick, seeâ€™s time she bends her knees
But, she filled me with disgrace when she tattooed my poor face
Now whenever that girl sits down she sits on me
Poor me, whenever that girl sits down she sits down on me
Oh yep ayaya ye aye

Now do you wonder why I look so sad and worried
Do you wonder why Iâ€™m feeling mighty low
I would like to take a chance, and give her one kick in the pense
But if I do I only kick myself I know

The only time that anyone can see my picture
Is when that big fat tattooed girl takes a bath oh yeez
I get black and blue of course, anytime she rides a horse
For whenever that girl sits down she sits on me
Oh whenever that girl sits down she sits down on me
Oyo yo me head oyoyo my poor head
Ayayay she heavy like lead

Oh whenever that girl sits down she sits down on me
Whenever that big fat girl sits down is on me
Every minute of the day, she only sitting on me
Oh whenever that girl sit down she sits on me
Ayaye