The couch thread

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 4:46 pm

Oh, look:

Wheelchair athletes being coached by armchair athletes.

Don't get me wrong, wheelchair athletes, whether racers or lifters or armwrestlers are all a bunch of badasses. It's just weird to see the blind leading the other-abled.

dead man walking · Post by **dead man walking** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 5:02 pm

if wheelchair warriors can train, why can't glassman get himself in shape?

Comment #176 - Posted by: hannibal lecter at February 14, 2009 8:57 AM

i didn't think they allowed hannibal internet access.

Thud · Post by **Thud** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 6:02 pm

Couch trains harder than anybody, he just uses different equipment.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:33 pm

That chick is doing strong work for her size and ability. She'll jump off once her knees get so sore she can't walk to the fridge.
LOL at the "knees-to-elbows" people in the background in the video. Lots of "kipping." Defeats the whole purpose of the movement IMO.

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 7:39 pm

Sofa King wrote:That chick is doing strong work for her size and ability.

I thought she did really well with it too. The others looked like they were doing some sort of horizontal grabbing jumping jacks or some such bullshit.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 8:59 pm

Please, lets not forget that certain IGxers, both beloved and hated, coined and propagated the "kool aid" phrase in response to the mindless following of cooch's teachings.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:12 pm

The Shafpocalypse wrote:Please, lets not forget that certain IGxers, both beloved and hated, coined and propagated the "kool aid" phrase in response to the mindless following of cooch's teachings.

=D>

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:45 am

Jake Patrick wrote:I feel like saying a few things here via that epic form, the Valentine's Day meltdown (so...lonely...shit).

What is up with those faggoty goddamn motherfuckers at CrossFit Radio? First of all, that shit-eating son of a bitch host has the most annoying voice in the world. He's so sycophantic with that CrossFit shit that he has to mute the mic once in a while to tongue his co-host's asshole for just a sec because he's been thinking about getting fisted by Cooch all goddamn morning, for time, and it's got him hungry for reps.

Seriously, look at this garbage he posted over at his blog:

http://radio.crossfit.com/radio/2008/12 ... l#comments

First of all, what in the faggot nigger cunt is making all that noise around 1:10 in that video?

It's titled "Navy Wrestlers doing CrossFit-like workouts?" and he blathers on about how fucking strange it is that goddamn wrestlers are doing circuit training a la that old ass wrestling book people always point to when they want to say to Couch, "You didn't invent SHIT, Cockass!" He even says something about: despite the fact that even though they're using a couple of odd pieces of equipment (e.g., a prowler, db curls, Jesus Christ already), which isn't quite @Fit, and even though their form is bad (presumably when they're cleaning heavy ass sandbags..."but they can attend a Cert for that!"), they're still pretty darn impressive. Fuck you, CrossFit Radio guy. The aforementioned motherfucking reference to that old ass wrestling book says you drank the Kool-Aid, motherfucker. And not in that ironic way you stupid assholes say it to yourselves, like, "Hey Jennifer, I'm drinkin the Kool-Aid, are you?" and Jennifer is like, "Hellz yeah, Jarrod!" and they high-five and he winces a little bit, and her fresh tribal tat is all scabby and shit. No, you drank the Kool-Aid through your fucking ass, because that's the way Cooch implants his crazy ideas in your brain: He fucks you in the ass with his limp-inducing, freakish, blistery cock, and he jizzems into your head from right next to your spine. Holy fuck. 3,2,1, goooo the fuck away from the internet forever, please, you mother fucking idiots.

EDIT: Okay those guys do look like fucking retards with those db curls.

=D>

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 1:33 am

Kudos to that chick for having at it. No doubt.

At the beginning of that clip, what's the retard with the hunched posture and the barbell hanging from his hands by his knees doing?

Jesus, that's fucking stupid.

IWP · Post by **IWP** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:52 am

The couch thread is approaching 200 pages and 5000 posts. Someone should send Couch a bottle of gin to celebrate.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:26 pm

: main_page.jpg (34.96 KiB) Viewed 6979 times

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:57 pm

Incredibly Weak Performer wrote:The couch thread is approaching 200 pages and 5000 posts. Someone should send Couch a bottle of gin to celebrate.

+1. Seriously. We need to get this done.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:04 pm

Jake Patrick? Seriously funny shit. =D> =D>

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 2:48 am

oh noes...slapdick football training...

somefuckingmoron. wrote: CrossFit Football is a very real thing. Coach G announced CFF at Fil Fest two weekends ago. The use of CrossFit principals to train for Football. The launch of CrossFitFootball.com is coming next month with a seminar certification launching in late April/early May. The seminar will teach how to use CrossFit for football, directional running, diet and programming.

http://board.crossfit.com/showpost.php? ... ostcount=3

Dano · Post by **Dano** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:06 am

A touchdown victory dance will consist of one guy doing a handstand while another overhead squats PVC pipe and blows the other guy whilst me holds the handstand. The actual football will only weigh 1 ounce and will be filled with helium so they can get in some real metabolic work tossing it around the field in between sets of somersaults, sprints, and epileptic pullups off the goalpost. Sounds like good times.

___________ · Post by **___________** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:08 am

Oh sweet fucking Christ.
I'd rather beat off to Kurt Warner praising Jesus then hear some douchefuck Crossfit ass wipe Couch toss out theories on his high school football days.

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:44 am

The launch of CrossFitFootball.com is coming next month with a seminar certification

jesus fucking christ

T200 · Post by **T200** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:47 am

Incredibly Weak Performer wrote:The couch thread is approaching 200 pages and 5000 posts. Someone should send Couch a bottle of gin to celebrate.

One of my @Fit fag friends has been up to the Couch estate a few times in Prescott. I might be able to track down his address through him.

Sassenach · Post by **Sassenach** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:03 am

http://www.whitepages.com/16176/track/1 ... ore_info=1

What are we putting in the card?

___________ · Post by **___________** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:08 am

Jezebel Jones wrote:http://www.whitepages.com/16176/track/1 ... ore_info=1

What are we putting in the card?

I would give the card a wipe on my fumundah from down undah, but I don't want big tittied Mrs. Couch chasing me down & licking my sack. How about we have @ wipe his anus/putang with it?

Dies Irae · Post by **Dies Irae** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 6:06 am

Dano wrote:A touchdown victory dance will consist of one guy doing a handstand while another overhead squats PVC pipe and blows the other guy whilst me holds the handstand. The actual football will only weigh 1 ounce and will be filled with helium so they can get in some real metabolic work tossing it around the field in between sets of somersaults, sprints, and epileptic pullups off the goalpost. Sounds like good times.

You have "I" and "me" mixed up there dude. It's ok, you're obviously confused.

http://www.whitepages.com/16176/track/1 ... ore_info=1

Shit guys look at the sponsored links for that page. "Research Background info on Greg Glassman"

I paid for the advanced background checking service. The counts of vagrancy,public drunkness and the prostitution of his crossfit women aren't suprising to anyone who has been keeping track of this thread. Due to the conditions of the service I am unable to directly cut and paste all the information on this site but I will gladly confirm or deny any questions on the matter.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:37 pm

Charismatic megafauna wrote:oh noes...slapdick football training...

somefuckingmoron. wrote: CrossFit Football is a very real thing. Coach G announced CFF at Fil Fest two weekends ago. The use of CrossFit principals to train for Football. The launch of CrossFitFootball.com is coming next month with a seminar certification launching in late April/early May. The seminar will teach how to use CrossFit for football, directional running, diet and programming.
http://board.crossfit.com/showpost.php? ... ostcount=3

I checked the calendar. It's not April 1.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:20 pm

Oh Snap...Carl and Dirt Diva broke up.

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/02/tao-is-truth.html

So Carl and I broke up a couple days ago. A break up doesn't have to be viewed upon as a bad thing. It's just means we had different paths that we wanted to take. I don't believe in wasting someones time. Most people stay stuck in situations for a long time. I have so much stuff I wanna do in the wilderness..Like fastpacking and running long trails. Non of which Carl can do because he believes in a different way of training ,not going longer then 13 miles. My life is running. it is what keeps my soul alive. And every year I must take my few weeks to live in the wilderness.
It's sad but at the same time best for both.
Carl is an awesome person and great CF trainer.
I wish him the best on his journey through life.

Shaun B. O'Murnecan · Post by **Shaun B. O'Murnecan** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:25 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Oh Snap...Carl and Dirt Diva broke up.

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/02/tao-is-truth.html

So Carl and I broke up a couple days ago. A break up doesn't have to be viewed upon as a bad thing. It's just means we had different paths that we wanted to take. I don't believe in wasting someones time. Most people stay stuck in situations for a long time. I have so much stuff I wanna do in the wilderness..Like fastpacking and running long trails. Non of which Carl can do because he believes in a different way of training ,not going longer then 13 miles. My life is running. it is what keeps my soul alive. And every year I must take my few weeks to live in the wilderness.
It's sad but at the same time best for both.
Carl is an awesome person and great CF trainer.
I wish him the best on his journey through life.

The title of that entry:

TAO is the truth. Follow it. Meditate on it. Become it. Then forget it. Only then can you live it.

The Real Rant · Post by **The Real Rant** » Tue Feb 17, 2009 7:33 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Oh Snap...Carl and Dirt Diva broke up.

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/02/tao-is-truth.html

So Carl and I broke up a couple days ago. A break up doesn't have to be viewed upon as a bad thing. It's just means we had different paths that we wanted to take. I don't believe in wasting someones time. Most people stay stuck in situations for a long time. I have so much stuff I wanna do in the wilderness..Like fastpacking and running long trails. Non of which Carl can do because he believes in a different way of training ,not going longer then 13 miles. My life is running. it is what keeps my soul alive. And every year I must take my few weeks to live in the wilderness.
It's sad but at the same time best for both.
Carl is an awesome person and great CF trainer.
I wish him the best on his journey through life.

Well we all knew lizard boy and those skinny calfs of his would never be able to hold on to a freak like that. I hope he at least go the 5th base with her and didn’t catch too many STDs in the process. I’m glad to see the break up wasn’t over something utterly inane. It’s good to hear that dirt road Diva still keeps what’s important upfront. Where would the world be without jogging on dirt trails? What a vacuous slut.

IGX

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