The couch thread

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:40 pm

Nice to see Maverick and Goose back in action.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:45 pm

She can scissor me with those thighs whenever she gets ready...

http://crossfitfirebase.com/wp-content/ ... in/329.jpg

http://crossfitfirebase.com/wp-content/ ... in/317.jpg

http://crossfitfirebase.com/wp-content/ ... in/313.jpg

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:49 pm

Apparently the dude behind her is getting ready to rape her.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:54 pm

Other than the gay-osity of that pic, it's really just quite sad how hard that one guy is working just to hold a damn L-sit.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:57 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Apparently the dude behind her is getting ready to rape her.

If he'll hold her for me, I'll hold her for him.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:58 pm

Some of us aren't undermuscled homeopaths.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:06 pm

Some of us aren't overfat powerbears.

Back on topic. This day is too rich in reveling in @F crumbling, at least in part due to IGx, to wander. Carry on.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:15 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:That pic is in desperate need of some gladiator sandals.

Surprising that gladiator sandals haven't been a big fad with @fitters yet.

Faggotry never goes out of style. It just reinvents itself every few years.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:17 pm

It's all women wearing those, right? Nothing wrong with that.

Unless you are the kind of guy who lavishly slaves over websites like 70s Big.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:31 pm

shaf, i submit that all those legs belong to men. @fitrz are big into shaving so that's no help. however, when have you seen a @fit grrl NOT wearing either booty shorts or bikini bottoms. those are all pretty much knee length; i bet if it were from behind, we'd see some wallet chains.

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:42 pm

Resident Quack wrote:Greg Everett's presentation was Saturday. It was on (how @Fers generally suck at) the OLs, and why they should consider getting better at them. A snippet of his presentation is here. This is obviously before Asstro decided to have his shit-fit.

Pudding wasn't present for these shenanigans, maybe he knew what was going to happen.

In the middle of Everett's lecture, in front of everyone, Asstro throws out comments like calling Everett a "fat fuck".

Immediately after Everett finished, before he could even take the mic off and in front of the entire room full of people, Asstro grabs Everett's shoulder and gets in his face. Asstro launches into a tirade about [insert whiny cult voice here] "why don't you do everyone a favor and unaffiliate because you obviously hate @F!", etc.

Dutch Lowy breaks it up inside, only to have them end up outside doing the same thing. Mind you, this is at a @F where the only thing separating the attendees from this crap is a garage door. Apparently Asstro was so pissed that people observed him to be visibly shaking.

Robb Wolf, Rutherford, and Dutch came out to the fray and apparently told Asstro to STFU. Everett tried to walk away, while Asstro kept following him spewing more bile. Next, Jeremy Thiel tries to intervene diplomatically and get everyone (read: Asstro) to cool it.

Dutch then told Asstro to leave. Asstro said he wanted Dutch to tell him to leave in front of everyone. Then the bullshit started again, with Asstro not leaving.

I've heard that couch has even banned Asstro from talking to the @F subject matter experts (like Rip, for example), even though he's their logistics/scheduling guy, because he can singlehandedly get people to leave the fold.

That is some pretty seriously unstable shit right there.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:53 pm

Greg Everett's presentation was Saturday. It was on (how @Fers generally suck at) the OLs, and why they should consider getting better at them. A snippet of his presentation is here. This is obviously before Asstro decided to have his shit-fit.

Pudding wasn't present for these shenanigans, maybe he knew what was going to happen.

In the middle of Everett's lecture, in front of everyone, Asstro throws out comments like calling Everett a "fat fuck".

Immediately after Everett finished, before he could even take the mic off and in front of the entire room full of people, Asstro grabs Everett's shoulder and gets in his face. Asstro launches into a tirade about [insert whiny cult voice here] "why don't you do everyone a favor and unaffiliate because you obviously hate @F!", etc.

Dutch Lowy breaks it up inside, only to have them end up outside doing the same thing. Mind you, this is at a @F where the only thing separating the attendees from this crap is a garage door. Apparently Asstro was so pissed that people observed him to be visibly shaking.

Robb Wolf, Rutherford, and Dutch came out to the fray and apparently told Asstro to STFU. Everett tried to walk away, while Asstro kept following him spewing more bile. Next, Jeremy Thiel tries to intervene diplomatically and get everyone (read: Asstro) to cool it.

Dutch then told Asstro to leave. Asstro said he wanted Dutch to tell him to leave in front of everyone. Then the bullshit started again, with Asstro not leaving.

I've heard that couch has even banned Asstro from talking to the @F subject matter experts (like Rip, for example), even though he's their logistics/scheduling guy, because he can singlehandedly get people to leave the fold.

How solid is this? I have some decent sources and have not heard a peep. A bunch of Tweets from Austin, you figure someone would spill the beans. That whole weekend baffled me to begin with. I would pay $1000 to work with any of thos guys before I would spend $100 to work with @fit. Level 1 is who? Speal? Butting? Astro? Nicole Carroll? When was the last time any of them even trained a client? It used to be a bunch of good trainers and athletes who did a few certs a year. When couch kicked it up you lost guys like Rob Miller and Zak Pine and even Eva is a good fucking trainer. Who does Astro work with? Butting? it is easy to coach the coaches and the coachable. EVERYONE is getting their programing away from main site. OPT, Lowery, Rutt, Thiel, Everett, Wolf...some serious fucking names. It baffles me that they stay around. ANY one of them would be fine on there own. The group should kick that fat fuck Otis to the curb and start a program with Rip and Coach B that dosen't suck! I hope astro screwd the pooch on this one. None of those guys are to be fucked with. Way to big and way to good to be caught up in this bullshit. I wish Gregg had beat his bitch ass.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:58 pm

I've heard it from 3 sources so far. Only one who witnessed though, and there wasn't a lot of details yet.

I'd imagine HQ is trying to spin it down.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:59 pm

This is VERY solid info. No doubt.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:08 pm

They should all just

1. Buy 5/3/1.
2. STFU and train.
3. Get a life.
4. ???????
5. PROFIT!!!

Seriously, they act like their life depends on their level of badassitude.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:08 pm

If you were writing a novel about the rise and fall of a fictitious cult-like fitness movement, your editor would reject half of these plot twists as "totally unrealistic" and that "nobody behaves like that in real life" and would send you back to your keyboard to come up with a new draft that readers will find more plausible.

You really can't make this shit up.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:26 pm

Judging by the look on her face, Ginger Bean there has pretty much sealed the deal. Wearing Vibram Five Fingers was the perfect in to offer to help her with her snatch.

http://crossfitfirebase.com/wp-content/ ... in/175.jpg

Between the low self-esteem and the anavar-flushed clits, hanging out at an affiliate must be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:01 pm

Has anyone pitched @ssfit as a reality tv show to the likes of Jeff Probst?

It's got everything you need and more:

Life or Death real world situations
Hot Tempers Flaring
Cheating
Emotion
Substance abuse
Trysts
Sweaty bodies
Be-pierced beauties
Rad tribal tatted hunks
Rad tribal tatted beauties
Tire flipping

...the list goes on...

the immunity challenges are already all baked, just pull them out of the hopper and 3,2,1 Go!

GoDogGo! · Post by **GoDogGo!** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:15 pm

Joe wrote:
the immunity challenges are already all baked, just pull them out of the hopper and 3,2,1 Go!

There are plenty of "immunity challenges" after each cert. Or at least "challenges to the immune system."

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:47 pm

GoDogGo! wrote:
Joe wrote:
the immunity challenges are already all baked, just pull them out of the hopper and 3,2,1 Go!
There are plenty of "immunity challenges" after each cert. Or at least "challenges to the immune system."

=D>

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:59 am

More pub for Couch.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/20 ... g-off.html

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:01 am

Jeezus she looks terrible

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:50 am

Gin Master wrote:More pub for Couch.

http://www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/20 ... g-off.html

Did Kelly Clarkson eat Hannah Montana?

She can try my CrossYogaFitBells. One of our modal domains is eating for time.
A Joey Chestnut led cert is coming next month. $\:D/$

As an aside, I have new respect for G. Everett if he's a fly in the @fit ointment. And did Robb Wolf leave the fold again? And fuck cooch and his, "Now that Barry Sears is on board" with @fit routine. Sears is a quack. The Zone is nothing more than fancy calorie restriction and the world knows it. Ask him what he's a doctor of. Fucking ass-monkeys.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:57 am

Sofa King wrote: As an aside, I have new respect for G. Everett if he's a fly in the @fit ointment. And did Robb Wolf leave the fold again? And fuck cooch and his, "Now that Barry Sears is on board" with @fit routine. Sears is a quack. The Zone is nothing more than fancy calorie restriction and the world knows it. Ask him what he's a doctor of. Fucking ass-monkeys.

Sears AND Wolf are quacks.

Lyle M. FTW.

JamesonBushmill · Post by **JamesonBushmill** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 7:37 am

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Resident Quack wrote:Greg Everett's presentation was Saturday. It was on (how @Fers generally suck at) the OLs, and why they should consider getting better at them. A snippet of his presentation is here. This is obviously before Asstro decided to have his shit-fit.

Pudding wasn't present for these shenanigans, maybe he knew what was going to happen.

In the middle of Everett's lecture, in front of everyone, Asstro throws out comments like calling Everett a "fat fuck".

Immediately after Everett finished, before he could even take the mic off and in front of the entire room full of people, Asstro grabs Everett's shoulder and gets in his face. Asstro launches into a tirade about [insert whiny cult voice here] "why don't you do everyone a favor and unaffiliate because you obviously hate @F!", etc.

Dutch Lowy breaks it up inside, only to have them end up outside doing the same thing. Mind you, this is at a @F where the only thing separating the attendees from this crap is a garage door. Apparently Asstro was so pissed that people observed him to be visibly shaking.

Robb Wolf, Rutherford, and Dutch came out to the fray and apparently told Asstro to STFU. Everett tried to walk away, while Asstro kept following him spewing more bile. Next, Jeremy Thiel tries to intervene diplomatically and get everyone (read: Asstro) to cool it.

Dutch then told Asstro to leave. Asstro said he wanted Dutch to tell him to leave in front of everyone. Then the bullshit started again, with Asstro not leaving.

I've heard that couch has even banned Asstro from talking to the @F subject matter experts (like Rip, for example), even though he's their logistics/scheduling guy, because he can singlehandedly get people to leave the fold.
That is some pretty seriously unstable shit right there.

I cannot wait to see how that gourd-bellied baboon, Glass man, spins this to the flock.

IGX

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