The couch thread

T200 · Post by **T200** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:22 pm

Agreed. That was pretty LOL.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:31 pm

there's goes strongman.
maybe i'll concentrate on sucking at something else.
is throwing shit whilst wearing a skirt crossfit?
is raw powerlifting crossfit?
what about bench only?
I have a fair amount of ink, I suppose if I drink pisswater beer on top of that, it's crossfit?
is screwing my wife crossfit? what if she's a milf?

You need to go to several more level 1 certs if you think this! @fit MUST include the 9 essential movements. There was video on main page Tuesday about it but I didn't watch it. I know a med ball clean is 1

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:42 pm

Danny John wrote:This will all be a dissertation one day. This whole thing about "clearly" and "obviously" and how Dale just made it up is rather funny when you look right at the two texts next to each other.

Lawyers resort to semantics and grammar when they're losing on the facts. Spelling correction follows soon after.

That wasn't nearly as lulzy as this:

Dale Saran wrote:This isn't spin - this is an opportunity for both of us to grow if you've got something to offer beyond unsubstantiated hyperbole.

Like 750 pound deadlifts, dozens of professional and Olympic athletes, total domination of other athletes, greater hypertrophy than bodybuilding, any science at all, etc.? There is no limit to what these people will claim. Amazing.

JamesonBushmill · Post by **JamesonBushmill** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:44 pm

protobuilder wrote:The new Castro Bar will have a weight limit of 225 + 200 lbs of band tension.

Clueless Cultfitter wrote:When demand is there, the market forces in the USA can and do respond...
P.T. Barnum stated this much more succinctly: There's a sucker born every minute.

I cannot wait for the Barry Cooper bar. A box of 700,000 pages of pontificating on every topic except actually lifting. So you can read, instead of you know, lifting.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:45 pm

CultBuster wrote:
there's goes strongman.
maybe i'll concentrate on sucking at something else.
is throwing shit whilst wearing a skirt crossfit?
is raw powerlifting crossfit?
what about bench only?
I have a fair amount of ink, I suppose if I drink pisswater beer on top of that, it's crossfit?
is screwing my wife crossfit? what if she's a milf?
You need to go to several more level 1 certs if you think this! @fit MUST include the 9 essential movements.

i did list screwing. I go for at least 11 essential movements in that nodal mode. 15 if it's your mom.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:48 pm

Nick Wilson, who I can assume is Nick from the .com comments, has been known to thoroughly thrash Barry Cooper about legalities, legal procedure, etc. Cooper's, and it appears Dale Saran's (and Couch's) response it typically "you're getting all lawyer on us - and we all know that lawyers are assholes."

I fucking love it!

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:18 pm

Danny John wrote:This will all be a dissertation one day. This whole thing about "clearly" and "obviously" and how Dale just made it up is rather funny when you look right at the two texts next to each other.

Reminded me of the Simpsons:

Homer: uh, this is the part where you're supposed to say "I believe you, Homer."
Marge: I don't believe you, Homer.
Homer: You do? Oh, Marge, you've made me so happy!
Marge: You're not listening. You're only hearing what you want to hear.
Homer: Thanks honey, I'd love a beer!

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:53 pm

The obvious next things to happen...

1. A @fitter complains to their congressman about injuries.

2. Congressman signs up for cert on a "fact finding mission"

3. HQ panics

4. Congressman gets tour and dog and pony show.

5. Congressman intercepted at airport by wannabees with pvc clubs

6. Couch orders paleo be spiked with carbs and all are forced to eat it. All end up looking like couch.

7. 20/20 does expose of kult gone bad. "Thruster Hitler" is prominent in report.

FRKCTL · Post by **FRKCTL** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:05 pm

Danny John wrote:I may not be the original Old School Xfitter that Shaf is, but Greg Glassman himself said that what I do is crossfit. So, if you pull sleds, walk with Farmer Bars and Olympic lift, you ARE crossfitting. Therefore, every quality program is, by definition, crossfit. I had forgotten about this, by the way. I'm OG on the xfittie.

Crossfit = staying permanently in Bompa's Anatomical Adaptation circuit training phase.

Shave Astroglide · Post by **Shave Astroglide** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:07 pm

Gin Master wrote:It feels like POD is the little brother of IGX. His head's in the right place, he's decently strong, but he's just kinda gay. Chatting about accidental boob brush? Maybe after enough slaps upside the head, he'll get it right.

Now for some real faggotry...

http://www.cathletics.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4921

Apparently Rogue Fitness has produced a Castro Bar, named for Navy Davy.

I looked for some discussion on the @F forums, and I wasn't disappointed.

http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53609&page=2

fag1 wrote:Outside people can say what they want about CrossFit, but the simple fact is that it is helping to create a Renaissance in performance-oriented strength training in the USA. Without the huge surge in interest in BOTH the O-lifts and the Powerlifts created by CrossFit, we would never be seeing the bars and bumper plates that are becoming available!!! When demand is there, the market forces in the USA can and do respond...

Now, if we can only get the USAW (Olympic lifters) and the Powerlifters and the Strongman competitors to come together with CrossFit somehow, we can again be dominant worldwide in the various strength-related sports.
Market demand does not constitute legitimacy.

fag2 wrote:I already have a bar for fast lifts (as discussed in a prior thread... York 32110), but I definitely wanted an upgrade at some point (hence me wanting a Pendlay). Though I think something the Castro will be a general purpose bar for me.

I've definitely seen some amazing improvements in bar technology just in the few months I've been crossfitting. ...I just can't wait for what's in store in the future. We are really driving the market and it'll be interesting to see where it goes from here.
...
5'7" | 152lbs
So he's been @Fing a few months, but he's in a position to comment on bar technology and needs another bar for himself. I realize that short people can be strong--just look at our new Muscle Gnome--but can a 152 lb. newb @Fer can't appreciate the difference in whip, flex, and spin when using 5-lb. technique plates.

Each bar comes with a jar Navy SEAL approved Astroglide. Please keep away from eyes and sensitive mucous membranes.

Shave Astroglide · Post by **Shave Astroglide** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:18 pm

powerlifter54 wrote:The obvious next things to happen...

1. A @fitter complains to their congressman about injuries.

2. Congressman signs up for cert on a "fact finding mission"

3. HQ panics

4. Congressman gets tour and dog and pony show.

5. Congressman intercepted at airport by wannabees with pvc clubs

6. Couch orders paleo be spiked with carbs and all are forced to eat it. All end up looking like couch.

7. 20/20 does expose of kult gone bad. "Thruster Hitler" is prominent in report.

=D> =D> =D> =D>

An E-true Hollywood movie would be a good compliment to this.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:55 pm

Ha.

Bar technology has grown dramatically? HAHAHAA.

Dumbfuck

Alfred_E._Neuman · Post by **Alfred_E._Neuman** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:57 pm

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Ha.

Bar technology has grown dramatically? HAHAHAA.

Dumbfuck

The next advancement on the "crossfit bar": a bar flimsy enough to get good whip while cleaning or snatching with a 10lb training plate on each side.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:01 pm

God you have to be a raging pussy to discuss the "quality" of your training bar when you're lifting 185-ish. It's a fucking bar. You put weights on it. You lift it however you can. You don't worry about spin, whip, balance, knurling. YOu just fucking lift it.

Thank God these pussies weren't crossfagging in the 50s. They'd never get past 95 lbs on non-rotating bars and solid iron plates.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:03 pm

The only thing Crossfit advances is the Arrogance/Accomplishment ratio of its members.

Sofa King · Post by **Sofa King** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:05 pm

If the "Barry Cooper Bar" was a candy bar or a Zone Bar, it would be made of apple cores and old Chinese newspapers.
"Deng xao Ping died? When did this happen?"

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:07 pm

protobuilder wrote:Thank God these pussies weren't crossfagging in the 50s. They'd never get past 95 lbs on non-rotating bars and solid iron plates.

Plus they'd be beat down, laughed at, and kicked out for being dumbshits by the real athletes of the day. Fucking unbelievable what these asshats come up with next.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:09 pm

Here's my take on the "soopah bah" by Asstro. I've lifted heavier weight with bent bars and iron plates than 99% of the faggots that claim to @fit and I know I'll never be to the level that I have to have bumpers and an oly specific. But that's the difference between me and 99% of the fucking faggot ass @fitters. I don't consider myself elite and I don't feel the need to overcompensate for my training.

Unless you are a freak of nature or training at an @fit gym like Greg E's or Mike B's you don't need to worry about that shit.

What ever happened to the old Glassman idea that you get stronger by doing the oly lifts wrong than you do by doing them right? Wouldn't non flexing bars and iron weights fall into this training concept?

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:27 pm

a challenger appears

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:29 pm

theoverman wrote:a challenger appears

that mastadon is a nice fucking bar by the way.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:30 pm

Do any Cultfitters total 1200 lbs??

LOL Crossfit · Post by **LOL Crossfit** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:30 pm

Hey Gaiz, I has done a video

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:31 pm

protobuilder wrote:Do any Cultfitters total 1200 lbs??

they don't bench so they have an @FTotal which is OH press, squat, and dead. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Jag Panzer · Post by **Jag Panzer** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:42 pm

theoverman wrote:
protobuilder wrote:Do any Cultfitters total 1200 lbs??
they don't bench so they have an @FTotal which is OH press, squat, and dead. Correct me if I'm wrong.

So that's pretty much no, then

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Wed Dec 16, 2009 8:50 pm

theoverman wrote: There are more than 15 guys in my hometown with greater than 500lb bench presses. And they're not going around calling themselves "elite" athletes and taking their shirts off and shit.

Oh, here comes one of them now...

I doubt you'll ever hear the words "I'm an elite athlete" come out of this guy's mouth. Probably just some bullshit about teamwork. Fuckin pussy.

IGX

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