How to assess things said by dishonest people?

[motherjuggs&speed]

It took a while for today's psy op to sink in. I was told a wopper today and I now wonder how much of what this guy says I should believe or listen to at all. He had already told me a few big ones, but today's got me thinking. It's probably right to disregard everything said by a dishonest person. He's been at it for a while and I'm now thinking back on everything and wondering if any of it was right. I felt uncomfortable calling him on it, and he's been helpful in some ways, but damn. I really don't need more gaslighting or other psychological warfare. I'm having a hard enough time without people attempting to undermine my sanity.

So the question for the IGx braintrust is: How many lies, and/or of what size or kind, should trigger an exit from a relationship, or should lead to disconnecting from that person's output? There are a lot of people who I've stopped listening to/reading, and re-assessed their past work based on some insane or dishonest statement.

[Ronald RayGun]

I have zero time for such things and nor should you. Don't fuck with any of it, my man. Cut your losses.

[Bram]

Ronald has his shit together more than me...so feel free to disregard this.

I know multiple weavers of tall-tales, I think it's ridiculous, but don't hold it against them unless what they are saying is malicious.

If they just rode a helicopter with Donald Trump to the Playboy Mansion and entered the Matrix when they got there...I don't really care...but if they are speaking poorly of others or myself in these regards, I terminate the relationship.

[Bennyonesix1]

People say a lot of things. And they aren't going to stop doing it.

Mechanically, self-forgiveness comes after other-forgiveness.

"People are a PITA and I am a person too"

[Fat Cat]

People say a lot of things. And they aren't going to stop doing it.

Mechanically, self-forgiveness comes after other-forgiveness.

"People are a PITA and I am a person too"

Pretty much what Benny said, we're all full of shit sometimes, and that knowledge should temper our judgments of others. Also, consider the corollary inversion to not believing a liar because of their lies: are you capable of hearing the truth from a liar's lips? This is the question I ask myself often. By which I mean, instead of simply "disregard(ing) everything said by a dishonest person" can you maintain enough sensitivity and nuance to be able distinguish, and listen to, the truth and disregard the falsehood?

[motherjuggs&speed]

That's the problem, though -- I often don't have enough knowledge or ability to correctly assess some things. I have often asked other people for advice, people who I thought knew better than I did, and have almost always gotten bad advice. Sometimes I've taken to heart really bad advice or input, to my detriment. But in a lot of situations I really haven't had the right understanding. In this case, it's the doc I'm seeing who in some ways has been helpful but has also been really sadistic. That was the one time, but if that's who is is, then how can I trust anything he says? I don't think I should, but he has been able to explain a few things in a way that made sense. But he's also said things that are utterly nonsensical. I would switch from him to another provider if there was an alternative around here.

Writing all this has helped me to see some things a little more clearly. I see now that I should stop asking him about things other than his core area, and not give him the chance to hurt me. Probably just ask about meds and such. Looking back on it as I write this I remember several other times when he's said something insane. People do that all the time -- they see me as clueless and gullible so they say the most insane things. I've had a bunch of mechanics tell me wrong things to try to rip me off, so I should assume that's what all people are doing all the time. I'm inclined to say that I need some guidance, being as lost as I often am, but on my own I have rarely done things that were as harmful as when I had bad influences so maybe having a kill switch is the best thing -- as soon as I hear bullshit I know this isn't someone I should listen to.

[Bram]

an ex-girlfriend told me this a few years ago:

"I never take advice from someone I wouldn't trade places with."

If someone's obese and offering you nutrition advice.......broke and offering you financial advice....miserable and offering you advice on being happy, etc. Personally, it works great to separate the wheat from the chaff.

[Fat Cat]

That's the problem, though -- I often don't have enough knowledge or ability to correctly assess some things....so maybe having a kill switch is the best thing -- as soon as I hear bullshit I know this isn't someone I should listen to.

This is the key, I think you've already answered your own question. You will need to turn to other people sometimes for information, and sometimes, they will be full of shit. What you, and all of us need, is to trust your own instincts in those moments and if you get a bad feeling about the information you're getting from that person, trust your gut and disregard. IMHO, of course.

[Ronald RayGun]

What you, and all of us need, is to trust your own instincts in those moments and if you get a bad feeling about the information you're getting from that person, trust your gut and disregard.

Word.

[Bennyonesix1]

The continuum ranges from credulous to cynical, right. Both of those are bad. The first has others eff'ing you up and the other has you eff'ing youself up. I try and be a hairsbreath under cynical.

People just motherfucking talk all the damn time and there isn't all that much to say. And most of the time it's just a soundtrack for the "important" and weird non-verbal stuff going on.

Idk dude I just try and be decent to everyone despite the fact that they say preposterous shit all the time.

[nafod]

In this case, it's the doc I'm seeing

JFC, a doctor? Fire that guy.

[motherjuggs&speed]

I think I'll just see him for the Rx followups. There's no one else who seems at all competent around here.

I really think dishonesty is a harbinger of a lot of other bad things. I don't know anyone worth knowing who lies. I was about to say, except for a good reason, but I'm not sure that's true. The best people I've known didn't lie or mislead people. It took me a long time to realize this. The worst people I've known were also dishonest, on top of their other evils.

The odd thing is, he has been really helpful in some ways. I'll just ask him about his specific narrow area of real knowledge and nothing else.

If I could get off my ass and jam I could do something around here. I've been told that by several people. One guy I know has a lot of opportunities to do things that he wouldn't have anywhere else, just because he's willing to do them.

[nafod]

Do you think he's lying to himself too?

[motherjuggs&speed]

I used to think that was common but I don't anymore. He may actually think he's able to win consistently at blackjack, which I very much doubt. But he's said other things that make no sense. It occurred to me that he might be really socially clueless himself but I doubt that. He's about my age and even I developed more understanding than he's shown at times.

[Bennyonesix1]

Dude most ppl are not capable of the self-aware level of deceit you're imputing to them. It's almost always just covering up the vague sense of being in over their heads.

[Bennyonesix1]

In re Docs

You expect what exactly from some person who not only excelled at the tedium of homework but found it tolerable to do thousands and thousands of hours of it?

[nafod]

He may actually think he's able to win consistently at blackjack

Heh

I’ve never met anyone who has lost money in Vegas. You’d think the casinos would all be broke by now.