non-social interaction

[motherjuggs&speed]

How should one act when at the gym, or riding trails, or around people in general? Americans typically are aggressively outgoing and demand that other people are too. If someone isn't that way, he will be called an asshole and considered to be that by everyone. Literally dozens of times I've had a stranger approach me to demand that I have a personal conversation with him and be included in his circle of acquaintances. When I say I'd rather not, he calls me an asshole and bad vibes me and tells everyone I'm a bad guy, and everyone bad vibes me and is rude to me after that. I say dozens of times that I've been called an asshole; it's been hundreds of times that something like this has happened.

I guess it's the whole when in Rome thing, but I think it's unpleasant when people don't just let other people be. Maybe I should just move to a country where being really outgoing isn't required. I'm interested in people's takes on this. What is the right way to be around people in situations where interaction isn't essential to the thing itself?

[Bram]

Headphones -- even if they aren't transmitting noise -- go a long way towards getting people to leave you alone. That's an easy hack to try. Put them on when you're feeling like you need space.

And some people are just terrible at social cues, and will corner you and talk incessantly. I tend to quickly prepare something when I see them, "Sorry, I'm late for work!"

It's an art to hold firm with boundaries, without resorting to being an asshole.

[Ronald RayGun]

I really don't have a problem with people thinking I'm an asshole for not getting super into the menial shit people tend to praddle on about. Those are the exact people I WANT thinking I'm as asshole so they miss me with that shit.

[Fat Cat]

On the one hand, pretending you're not in a social situation when you manifestly are, is sissy pretend shit. Sorry life is so hard you have to make eye contact. But on the other, I get it, because I am the same way. A pair of dark sunglasses and a COVID mask go a long way towards helping me remain anonymous and unapproachable when that's what I'm going for.

[Bennyonesix1]

No one ever comes up and just talks to me other than downs syndrome ppl.

People seriously just start talking to you guys?

[motherjuggs&speed]

It took me a long time to realize that if a lot of crazy people talk to me, it means they think I'm one of their kind. Being pathologically high in the trait of openness and low in executive function, I've had many kinds of odd interactions. I don't know how to fix this. Being less approachable didn't work at all. It only deterred better people while loose isotopes still talked to me. I had accidentally set up an asshole filter. Rick Beato describes the opposite experience in his video How I went from college professor to deli worker. He had a bunch of people he had just met introduce him to their friends who let him stay at their place, got him gigs, and so forth. I used to have some of these experiences as well. I don't know if it's possible to climb back up the ladder of humanity.

[Ronald RayGun]

Oh, for fuck sake, do you revel in being such a socially inept pussy? Deal with it. The rest of us are and we don't seem to need to start a thread about it.

[motherjuggs&speed]

Why are you so churlish? I find the replies interesting. If you don't, you can kiss my black ass.

[Ronald RayGun]

Ehh, bruv, you axed. It must be a difficult thing folding like a card table at the slightest hint of a conversation from a rando. Don't be so defensive about the weaknesses you present unrequested.