The couch thread

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Finally a "sport" befitting an @fitter. These days they'll take what they can get. How ghey.

http://journal.crossfit.com/2008/10/com ... d-wins.tpl

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Sofa King
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Sofa King »

"Brownie"

3 rounds for time:

Apply bronzer
Pose in front of mirror
watch nads shrink from overuse of AAS

Post time to comments.
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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

I feel so out of the loop. Why didn’t someone tell that @fit’s most vacuous couple had split up?
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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Seems Mr. Skateboard left her for a hotter, younger chick. Who would have thought a guy like that had commitment issues or would ever leave for something younger and hotter? I'm shocked!

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

I walk around town with a frown on my face
Fuck the whole world, fixin' to catch a murder case


What a fucking douche.
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Kazuya Mishima
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Kazuya Mishima »

Rant wrote:What a fucking douche.
Well, give it a week.

I'm sure you'll change your opinion of the guy.

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Jeez I'm lost. Mr Skateboard left her for Allison NYC! How did I miss that memo?

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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

Rant wrote:Jeez I'm lost. Mr Skateboard left her for Allison NYC! How did I miss that memo?
It was a topic of discussion here for like 10 days. WTF.
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Rant wrote:Jeez I'm lost. Mr Skateboard left her for Allison NYC! How did I miss that memo?
It was a topic of discussion here for like 10 days. WTF.
Sorry Spells. I really do need to keep up to speed on these things.

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cimes
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Re: The couch thread

Post by cimes »

You are obviously too busy trying to reform Kettleballistan.

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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

Start on p131. It gets into all their blogs, with commenters in his blog telling Brendan he left Shari for a fat chick, ANYC bitching out Shari, Shari writing poems and posting semi-nude pics, it was funny as fuck.
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

cimes wrote:You are obviously too busy trying to reform Kettleballistan.

CI
Well I do have my hands full these days.

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stosh
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Re: The couch thread

Post by stosh »

When did wearing a hat over your ears become even remotely acceptable? Is that a 'hood thang?
A novice is someone who keeps asking himself if he is a novice. An intermediate is someone who is sick of training with weak people and an advanced person doesn't give a shit anymore. - Jim Wendler

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

stosh wrote:When did wearing a hat over your ears become even remotely acceptable? Is that a 'hood thang?
In his case it's just a douche bag thing. I think I should do a whole expose on this on my site.

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Gary John
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

Rant,

Brad and Jennifer split awhile back, also.

Dewey lost to Truman.

Glasshole called DJ, and the conversation was all about.................
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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Gary John wrote:Rant,

Brad and Jennifer split awhile back, also.

Dewey lost to Truman.

Glasshole called DJ, and the conversation was all about.................
I know. That's what for taking a 10 day internet fast.

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Sofa King
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Sofa King »

Find the pic of B-boi in Hawaii wearing basketball shorts with a wallet chain.
You can't get much trashier than that.

Wait! Another new @fit workout!

"Brendan"

One round of the following:

Steal a dude's wife while acting as her trainer
Live with said former wife and become "loving b-friend"
Be like second father to son desperate (obviously) for father figure
Hang around until former wife, now your g-friend, takes you to Hawaii
Act all bitchin' and pose holding a skateboard to establish your street cred
Meet low self-esteem trust fund baby with magnificent boobs at a "cert"
Hook up with said boobalicious chick at some made up sporting event where you get "pwned" by real athletes
Take off on cross-country escapade with Big Boobs, unceremoniously dumping former g-friend that you stole away from her husband.
Be hated and ostracized by the raging @fit nation
Repeat

Post time to comments.

(Thanks to Master Shaf for his capsulization of the sad Shari saga)
WGM wrote:Fall off a chinup bar, drop a barbell on your head, or piss yourself at the bottom of a squat and the Internet will never forget you.


Ripe Turd
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Ripe Turd »

The little boy will either :

-grow up without a father and find it hard

or

-grow up without a father and develop Xfit douchebags hatred.

Either way, he's the real loser in this story.

ON another note, it makes me wondering : how could Xfit douchebags be the best :sperm: once upon a time? Goddamn the others :sperm: were fucking weaklings.
Hanglow Joe wrote: Why do you need a program? Showing up a 1/2 hour a day and doing what you're doing is great. Try it for 4-6 weeks, you're not going to get dick cancer by not following a program.

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Banned wrote:Find the pic of B-boi in Hawaii wearing basketball shorts with a wallet chain.
You can't get much trashier than that.

Wait! Another new @fit workout!

"Brendan"

One round of the following:

Steal a dude's wife while acting as her trainer
Live with said former wife and become "loving b-friend"
Be like second father to son desperate (obviously) for father figure
Hang around until former wife, now your g-friend, takes you to Hawaii
Act all bitchin' and pose holding a skateboard to establish your street cred
Meet low self-esteem trust fund baby with magnificent boobs at a "cert"
Hook up with said boobalicious chick at some made up sporting event where you get "pwned" by real athletes
Take off on cross-country escapade with Big Boobs, unceremoniously dumping former g-friend that you stole away from her husband.
Be hated and ostracized by the raging @fit nation
Repeat

Post time to comments.

(Thanks to Master Shaf for his capsulization of the sad Shari saga)

=D> =D> =D>

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Come on, did any of us didn't think the guy was a douch? SERIOUSLY?

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DrDonkeyLove
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Re: The couch thread

Post by DrDonkeyLove »

Rant wrote:I feel so out of the loop. Why didn’t someone tell that @fit’s most vacuous couple had split up?
Image

I examine these people like bugs under a magnifying glass. He's got a mark from the elastic waist band of his shorts in the place where a normal person would wear his shorts. It looks like he or she pulled his shorts down for the picture so we can see his abdominus @fittius muscle.
Mao wrote:Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. Our principle is that the Party commands the gun, and the gun must never be allowed to command the Party


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Re: The couch thread

Post by ___________ »

*****
Last edited by ___________ on Thu Dec 05, 2013 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Fat Cat
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Fat Cat »

I'm a fat gin drinker and I deeply resemble your comment.
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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

LMAO at Donkey. That shit is killer
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GoDogGo!
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Re: The couch thread

Post by GoDogGo! »

DrDonkeyLove wrote:He's got a mark from the elastic waist band of his shorts in the place where a normal person would wear his shorts. It looks like he or she pulled his shorts down for the picture so we can see his abdominus @fittius muscle.
I think the line is too straight and sharp for that. Most likely it came from leaning over a table for a protracted period while someone went all ass-pirate on him.
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.

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