The couch thread

[Shafpocalypse Now]

This just gets better.

[WildGorillaMan]

Have you fuckers seen the hit count on this thread go up. It's exploding. Just right now there are like 45 non IGxers looking in.

Jesus, I have the temerity to go take eight hours of sleep and this thread explodes in the meantime.

What's going to happen next?

[Alfred_E._Neuman]

Have you fuckers seen the hit count on this thread go up. It's exploding. Just right now there are like 45 non IGxers looking in.

Jesus, I have the temerity to go take eight hours of sleep and this thread explodes in the meantime.

What's going to happen next?

The only place to go from here:
a coup d'etat with Castro, Budding, and maybe one or 2 other of the original @f crew taking over and kicking Greg out.

Night of the Limp Dicks.

[Gin Master]

It's nice to see the confidentiality rules don't apply to Dale Saran.

Couch has been wearing Lisa Lugo like a catcher's mask for some time now. A recent public spat in an airport nearly required police intervention.

Between Greg and Lugo, or Greg and Lauren for fighting about Gred and Lugo?

Couch and Lugo (she is his personal assistant/valet/fluffer). It's causing lots of tension with the @F higher ups. And yeah, Lauren knows.

[Freki]

[TerryB]

I'm shocked, SHOCKED!, that with a noble, classy gentleman such as Couch at the helm, Cultfit HQ conducts itself in this tawdry, virulent manner.

[Croatoa]

I can't keep up with this thread. Has Everett posted an official statement yet?

[Gin Master]

The Rip vs. Dave thing...

I have been saying for some time that among the HQ triplets, Castro is the worst of the bunch, even though we haven't heard much from him. That's because Couch had him tucked away where he had few dealings with the public. So we were treated to Bony Pudding's ramblings about God-knows-what and Nicole Winnie Jaw, @F Spokesmodel (who purportedly strength trains and doesn't do much @F).

But you can only keep the lid on TNT for so long.

Part I

Go back a couple years, to the early barbell seminars. Rip lost someone from his platform crew at a barbell cert. He assumed that Castro was competent (he was, after all, a high level @F trainer!) and asked him to step up and help. After demonstrating complete lack of ability to teach or perform the lifts, Castro spent the rest of the weekend walking around.

Part II

Fast forward about a year. Castro-glide is Director of Specialty Certs. He was also in charge of getting video content to put on the main page. He fires off an email to Rip, Burg, Martone, Tucker, and the other specialty people. He also includes some well thought-of affiliate owners, like Jeff Martin and his wife, probably Petranek, and a few others. He starts off the email by chastising them about his job. Then he jumps their asses about not having any video to put up despite his repeated requests. He said something to the effect of "cameras are not that expensive, it's not much to ask, get this shit done."

They were pissed. Rip took issue with Castro's email, wrote him back, and informed him that the certs were videotaped, to use those, and, furthermore, not to pop off like an incompetent jackass. The group was CC'd.

Castro fired back at Rip, saying something to the effect of, "I'm not afraid of you; you talk a good game, but you're not shit." The group was CC'd.

Rip wrote back. "Take the barbell certs down, Dave. All of them."

A few hours and a few drunken Couch calls later, the certs were preserved and Castro got a new job description.

Nobody really likes Castro, but Couch insists he's the only person that get all the equipment from one L1 cert to another. So can a roadie for KISS.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Yeah, obviously Even Esh.

Even Esh and Xfit had a falling out a while back because Even Esh couldn't make the system work.

[Gary John]

An assist to Greg Everett:

I got kicked off Performance Menu, for being a total asshole and wear that banning as a badge of honor. Shitting on x-fit is my life's work.

I have met Greg once, at his new facility and wished him well.

My brother has not forgotten the bullshit that Greg Glasshole dumped on him. Dan is not quite Irish enough to hold the hate to his death. I hold that hate and enjoy this epic saga here at the "Thread".

So, it is extremely funny, that the rumor about Dan and Mark Twight are "plotting" to form a new empire built on the ash heap of x-fit. I would love it, but both Dan and Mark are doing well on their own.

I am not my brother's sock puppet. So, any shit you read from me, it what I think.

Fuck x-fit, fuck Glasshole.

And the Glasshole, hot chick story line trumps the Castro, Pudding, and minor characters side show by a mile.

[Danny John]

For anyone to ever argue, anywhere, that I am planning some kind of takeover obviously has no clue about who and what I am.

I'm a unitifier.

[JohnnyBadAss]

The Kool-Aid is thick with this one:

Rick -
People should remember where they came from, and despite Greg Everett’s knowledge base, it seems that he deserved to be called out. The 9 fundamentals have launched legions of CrossFitters into wellness, and Glassman et al have demystified elite fitness for the masses. There are those that want to mystify it, and have a problem with anyman or anywoman intruding on their perceived thought territory.

Bravo to Dave Castro for calling it for what it was.

Robb, you lost a huge base.

The Black Box Summit, by even addressing the ridiculous GreySkull article, helped fuel this debacle. The Keplers must be in angst.

It seems the hard-core Kool-Aiders don't realize that Robb and Greg have been there since the beginning of CF and it was a symbiotic relationship of building a name, not a parasitic relationship of Robb/Greg leaching. Ahhh...Glassman has done a hell of a job brainwashing the sheeple.

[WildGorillaMan]

The Kool-Aid is thick with this one:

Rick -
People should remember where they came from, and despite Greg Everett’s knowledge base, it seems that he deserved to be called out. The 9 fundamentals have launched legions of CrossFitters into wellness, and Glassman et al have demystified elite fitness for the masses. There are those that want to mystify it, and have a problem with anyman or anywoman intruding on their perceived thought territory.

Bravo to Dave Castro for calling it for what it was.

Robb, you lost a huge base.

The Black Box Summit, by even addressing the ridiculous GreySkull article, helped fuel this debacle. The Keplers must be in angst.

It seems the hard-core Kool-Aiders don't realize that Robb and Greg have been there since the beginning of CF and it was a symbiotic relationship of building a name, not a parasitic relationship of Robb/Greg leaching. Ahhh...Glassman has done a hell of a job brainwashing the sheeple.

First class trolling by one of you. Nobody can be that deluded. 'Fess up, which of you was it?

The 9 fundamentals have launched legions of CrossFitters into wellness,

Which legions, these ones?

@fit Injury Forum

[Croatoa]

I google'd Dave Castro and this came up.

[upsideyahead]

Exclusive video from the Black Box Summit!

[TerryB]

First class trolling by one of you. Nobody can be that deluded. 'Fess up, which of you was it?

haha This one gives it away:

Glassman et al have demystified elite fitness for the masses.

I didn't know elite fitness was "mystified" in the pre-Greg Glassman era (henceforth, "GG 2003"), but if anyone de-mystified it, it sure as hell wasn't Greg "multiple modal and temporal domains" Glassman. People are still trying to decipher his convoluted ten-dollar words about god-knows-what.

[Grandpa's Spells]

I didn't know elite fitness was "mystified" in the pre-Greg Glassman era (henceforth, "GG 2003"), but if anyone de-mystified it, it sure as hell wasn't Greg "multiple modal and temporal domains" Glassman. People are still trying to decipher his convoluted ten-dollar words about god-knows-what.

LMAO! This thread is great again.

[JohnnyBadAss]

Exclusive video from the Black Box Summit!

BAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! =D> =D>

[JohnnyBadAss]

In other unfortunate news, it looks like Robb won't be posting those emails.

joeyboots -
robb i think the point has been made. you don’t really need to nuke anymore bridges by posting emails and stuff. that’s just petty. it SEEMS that you were and right dave was wrong. but to continue further is gonna make you look like dave castro. at a certain point you gotta step back and do what is right for the greater good of both the community and yourself.

Robb Wolf-
Joey-
This is totally my thought as well. The reason why I left CrossFit several years ago is not going to stabilize this situation.

[Blaidd Drwg]

Fuck Twight,

IGX should take over and do a Gordon Gecko...liquidate and redistribute all that equipment and prime assmeat. lots of globo gyms in need of bumpers and lots of UPS men than rely on the occasional nooner from all those bored housewives.

[JohnnyBadAss]

Rick -
Dan, not a joke: true. Who heard of you before CrossFit, other than by way of Twight, who heard of Twight other than by way of CrossFit, who heard of Greg Everett other than by way of CrossFit by way of of Mike’s Gym by way of CrossFit.

Go back to Tnation and teaching high school boys.

HAHAHAAHA!

[Danny John]

Hopefully, he will take advantage of my offer.

[WildGorillaMan]

I don't want to take away from the gravity of the situation, and rich pagentry of douchebaggery on display, but how can anyone make fun of @fit when they do things like this without the slightest trace of irony:



When they say they can do what we do as well as we do, they're talking about parody and satire.

[WildGorillaMan]

Also, here's a gristly cougar, just because:

http://www.motorcitycrossfit.com/wp-con ... G_7028.jpg

[Croatoa]

I'm trying to remember where I first heard about Dan John. I think it was Sherdog actually. Someone posted a link to that "One Dumbell" workout article that Dan wrote.