The couch thread

[Mountebank]

Holy cow...the WaD has delved into even stupider realms..
http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005096.html

First of all, there is now the "one-hand" (note "quotes") weighted pull-up:

Is there a point to this? Seriously? We'd hate to educate those who design the workouts, though, wouldn't we?

So, the actual workout:

Using a single 60lb dumbbell for both thrusters and pull-ups, 3 rounds, 15-12-9 reps of:
Thrusters right arm
Thrusters left arm
"One-hand" pull-up right arm (left hand grabs the right wrist)
"One-hand" pull-up left arm (right hand grabs the left wrist)

People are still confused about what they're supposed to do. Pudding came on and set them straight:
3 rounds...
36 reps total of incorrectly named "one-hand" pull-ups PER ARM (72 total)...
With a 60# DB on all the pull-ups...

So, even if these were 60# weighted "regular" pull-ups, they're talking about 72 pull-ups with 60# attached...hanging from the bar by one hand. Good luck with that one! One guy posted a video link, he got about to 90 degrees in the elbow.

Several of the good comments:

M/27/165/5'9

AS RX'D: 13:45
Comment #85 - Posted by: travis at December 1, 2009 8:58 PM

M/28/178/6'2"

This workout looks like more of a party-trick than functional fitness. I like a lot of things about crossfit, but this is silly -- regardless of whether the "2-arm-1-hand" pullups are weighted or unweighted.
Comment #86 - Posted by: perkunas at December 1, 2009 9:09 PM

This workout looks a bit too insane.... 60 lbs one arm pull ups!

But apparently (according to a post 2 or 3 above this) the WOD is a piece of piss, because a 165lbs guy did it in 13:45 - as rx´d!!!!!
Comment #87 - Posted by: james at December 1, 2009 9:26 PM

What a joke. Maybe couch came up with this one in his super-secret super-elite testing procedures...JFC.

[Sofa King]

I wonder if couch thinks that his womanizing, alcohol and pot intake will affect his dealings with the military. I get the impression that they don't mind some shenanigans, but frown on such blatant behavior.

When did pot enter the scene? Cooch is a loadie?
Well, he did spend all that time in Santa Cruz. No on gets outta there without a contact high.

How many Zone blocks is a bag of Doritos?

[Mountebank]

I just noticed...on the pron video comments:

Is it any coincidence that the Bang Bros are in Miami and the 2010 Affiliate Gathering will be held there?

Good camera work must be hard to find.

[T200]

Cooch is a loadie?

WTF is a "loadie?"

[Anon]

Cooch is a loadie?

WTF is a "loadie?"

When in doubt:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=loadie The problem is that with only 77 thumbs up, this term is quite obsure. So much so that it's usage in this context is not recommended. Compare with http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stoner

[FRKCTL]

Oh, has anybody else notice how much Glasshole looks like a 60-year old Mickey Rooney?

Or like Christopher Hitchens after being water boarded.

[Sofa King]

Cooch is a loadie?

WTF is a "loadie?"

When in doubt:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=loadie The problem is that with only 77 thumbs up, this term is quite obsure. So much so that it's usage in this context is not recommended. Compare with http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=stoner

Meh. Loadie, stoner, pothead, gin-swilling-viagra addict. Potato, poh-tah-to.

[Kraj]

You fools, don't you see what's going on here?!

CrossFit isn't where Cooch is getting his money from - the government is. The government has been funding his lavish lifestyle. Why? His seed.

The government is trying to create a race of super-soldiers - immune to pain, compassion, and large doses of alcohol. The kind of super-soldier that can take a spill from the gymnastic rings that would kill most men and still keep treading on. The kind of soldier that can operate at near full capacity even at an 0.95 blood alcohol level.

Why did they choose Cooch? Because he's the perfect candidate. His "gorilla with multiple sclerosis" physique ensures a compact yet rugged frame that can be loaded into various military transport vehicles with the utmost efficiency. His extensive gymnastics background ensures amazing flexibility and maneuverability, giving him the ability to literally swing into a war zone on rings of death. His liver of steel ensures that he'll keep his functioning senses even after weeks behind enemy lines when his rations are depleted and he's forced to eat old packets of fish-n-chip malt vinegar to survive, or during covert ops where drinking the enemy under the table is a requirement, a la James Bond. Why Cooch ::::? Because he's the perfect killing machine.

The government knows this, which is why they're funding CrossFit and Cooch's lifestyle of sin. Have any of you even read the RRG?! There's no way that thing even gets past the desk clerk at the recording office without the government's secret hand pushing it through to appease Cooch. I mean the damn thing breaks like 27 laws and even a couple of international fishing waters treaty provisions. It's the equivalent of trying to create a company that allows you to punch infants on their soft-spot and shit in blind people's cereal. Can you imagine trying to form a company like that? You'd be laughed out of the building and probably arrested. Not with the RRG though. Ask yourself why.

So it's clear that the government is using Cooch to create a race of super-soldiers from his seed. How are they doing it? How would any of us do it? By spreading his seed out to as many uteri as will accept it (conditions have to be just right, like that giant Indonesian stink-flower that only blooms when conditions are perfect). Think, people! Why do all of his mistresses have ties to the armed forces? Put two and two together for fuck's sake. Navy SEAL's wife + superhuman alkie = stone cold demonsoldier of the Armageddon.

You guys rag on Castro, wondering why CrossFit keeps him around. Fools! Castro is Cooch's government contact. He keeps the Cooch-seed-fertilizing mission on track, creating diversions when necessary, and weeding out insiders who might know too much. You think he's incompetent? He's actually SO competent that you sheeple didn't even know what he was doing. You're here looking at the coin in his right hand while he's fingerbanging you with his left, and all the while you're wondering why he's laughing.

:::takes entire bottle of Flintstones Vitamins and passes ou...

[Really Big Strong Guy]

Just beautiful Kraj. Just beautiful. [-o<

[Anon]

i was in my exercise psych class yesterday, when people started talking about how crazy hard Xfit was.
i had to bite my tongue - i think i would have embarked on an uncontrollable rant if i had said anything
i've stated my disdain for it before in that class, made for a good laugh. They didn't really understand what i was getting at.

at some point i'll be required to write a paper or two regarding exercise, in which i intend to get it OK'ed by the professor to right about @fit.
This thread will make for quite the reference.

Be sure to proof read your paper and not just run the spell checker, alwrite?

[Ronald RayGun]

That's a nice piece of business, Kraj.

[Grandpa's Spells]

=D> =D> =D> =D> Well crafted.

[tough old man]

Re: What is the Zone?

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Hows that Zone working for you Barry? Ya look totally ripped in all your picts.
Attached Thumbnails

Nutrition Forum - What is the Zone?

[Kazuya Mishima]

A short Dirt Diva interlude...

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/11/p ... reams.html

[Holy Cow]

I like that every time one of the sheeple chimes in about the Black Box Summit fallings-out, they feel the need to qualify their stance on Paleo vs. Zone. They think that's really how it all started, I guess.

[Crust Bucket]

A short Dirt Diva interlude...

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/11/p ... reams.html

Oh jeezus let's all cry for Oskar.

[Really Big Strong Guy]

A short Dirt Diva interlude...

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/11/p ... reams.html

OMG. I have avoided reading any of these blogs, but this one was short - so I said "what the hell." One thing to say - there's not enough therapists in the world. Like seeing a really fat woman in a thong. You don't want to, but you can't help but look.

[Holy Cow]

A short Dirt Diva interlude...

http://trailgirl.blogspot.com/2009/11/p ... reams.html

PROBLEMS AND DREAMS................

Extra-long ellipses usually = dumb ass.

[Alfred_E._Neuman]

Re: What is the Zone?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hows that Zone working for you Barry? Ya look totally ripped in all your picts.
Attached Thumbnails

Nutrition Forum - What is the Zone?

Just what people seeking out fitness advises need, a fat alcoholic lecturing them on the longevity benefits of a calorie restricted diet.

And that motherfucker is dead serious.

[Holland Oates]

Holy mother god Kraj that was beautiful.

[TerryB]

Goodnight, sweet prince.

[TerryB]

Shit! Everyone's favorite Dirt Diva is on the skids! Time to chip in some cash so she can continue hosting pics of herself online or we may find her back on the outskirts of society, knee-deep in heroin, eyeliner, and self-reflective poetry.

It was a beautiful day I felt slow in the beginning but really picked it up the last 14 miles. I was having a lot of issues thinking about my life and what I need to take care of.
I sometimes feel so alone in my situation. I know I shut down when I should talk about it but I feel so stressed when I think about it. I wish I could just disappear for awhile but that's not the answer. I need to face the whole bankruptcy issue.
I am getting 500 dollars less a month because one of my creditors has garnished my wages.

[Kazuya Mishima]

Yeah, she works some shit job at Whole Foods or some gay crap like that. She's long past the point where she should be married, raising a couple of high school aged kids, and getting on with some sort of career of her own.

As it is, she runs 12 miles a day for the same reason she used to be a drug addicted, alcoholic party kid...it's an escape from the fact that she's a complete fuck up that can't deal with the simplest of shit.

[TerryB]

Yeah, she works some shit job at Whole Foods or some gay crap like that. She's long past the point where she should be married, raising a couple of high school aged kids, and getting on with some sort of career of her own.

As it is, she runs 12 miles a day for the same reason she used to be a drug addicted, alcoholic party kid...it's an escape from the fact that she's a complete fuck up that can't deal with the simplest of shit.

I'd still hit it.

[Sofa King]

Yeah, she works some shit job at Whole Foods or some gay crap like that. She's long past the point where she should be married, raising a couple of high school aged kids, and getting on with some sort of career of her own.

As it is, she runs 12 miles a day for the same reason she used to be a drug addicted, alcoholic party kid...it's an escape from the fact that she's a complete fuck up that can't deal with the simplest of shit.

=D> =D> =D>