The couch thread

[Gary John]

Hate Couch. Hate Glasshole. Hate x-fit.

That's the theme.

Call and response to POD is buggery.

[GoDogGo!]

Hm, a serious Star Wars geek of my acquaintance sez that was the Empire's plan after they abandoned clones for regular Stormtroopers. Recruit 10 million, kill 7-8 million in training but the survivors were mean as hell.

And yet they had their asses handed to them by a bunch of fucking stone age teddy bears on Endor.

Yes, but you gotta remember that those stone age teddy bears were eating Paleo.

[Beelzebub]

I found this comment on AssFit.com today. When i went back to take a second look it had been deleted. I think Nazi Dykes censoring the AssFit comments were slow as it was only up for a few minutes. With the crazy shit they are putting up of Fatty Sears they have to censor all information.

Interesting video on Dr. Sears. Dietary advice from a fat man. Sort of like exercise direction from a guy who hasn't worked out in years.
Comment #47 - Posted by: Captain at December 6, 2009 10:03 AM

I am glad couch is doing his part in "Forging Elite Plumbers" with all the white plastic tubes they are using instead of bars. Nothing gets a motherfucker strong like lifting a few ounces of pvc. <<<<q

[Beelzebub]

I could be wrong but I thought mothers had a natural maternal instinct to protect their unborn child.

[Beelzebub]

AssFit chicks are the new porn, if you are into that "I just escaped from Auschwitz" hot.

[Mountebank]

This is good. Really good. @FHQ sending Asstro out to make a counter-video to all the ruckus he started.

Vidoe samples of the whole thing here: http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005107.html

There is significant debate, as there should be, about how to optimize human performance. There has been a trend, however, to let these debates become divisive by some members of the community. This is a mistake.

CrossFit HQ’s stance is to expose the community to the widest variety of best practices so that we can further human performance. Identifying solely with one type of deadlift, backsquat or nutrition approach is counterproductive given the success that some athletes have with another type. Know them all, and use them productively and with discretion.

The comments section for the mainpage and the @FJ are rife with good comments and could likely use some help from IGx trolls.

Some of the early ones:

Backstepping CYA B.S., I second the fact that this was done "after" the B.S. blackbox stuff which makes it well...

Fact, I bought Rips book as I was lead to believe that he was the SME for CrossFit hence the certs...I brought the information home and taught my people.

Fact, they went to a CrossFit cert and when performing the 9 movements they were yelled or talked loudly at; that they were doing them "wrong". There was no celebrating differences but the way they were doing it was wrong, not that their form was wrong but the way they were setting up and performing the lifts was wrong.

Now sunshine and flowers, lets all get along, bunk, Dave demonstrates it best when he asks those in attendance what CF wants them to do and they get the answers "wrong", its because like it or not this is what people have been lead to believe is right by HQ, now suddenly its not one way but all ways...

I am not saying that folks can't grow or learn but suddenly after a huge blow up we get this...ah well...

I love the community, and the philosphy, but air it out, don't try to spin it. That lacks the truth, open and honest discussion, we are adults I think we could handle it.

Kind of unfair that Mr. Castro gets this forum to pretend he is so rational and accommodative all with a smarmy grin on his face. No matter what kind of marketing you do, it's pretty easy to see right through the underlying personality in this video.

Hilarious - Nice backpedal cover HQ. And to have Castro being the one to deliver it, wow. It might have been smarter to just hide that clown for a little while.

Post trolls to comments...

[Balaganov]

No comment.

[Kazuya Mishima]

that knee hyper extension combined with @fit will end amazingly

That's a lil thick Crossfit hottie if I've ever seen one.

[Freki]

Word.

[Anon]

Recommended tool for screen capturing the @ssfit forum prior to censorship:

zapgrab

Find it on the googles.

[DrDonkeyLove]

This is good. Really good. @FHQ sending Asstro out to make a counter-video to all the ruckus he started.

Vidoe samples of the whole thing here: http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005107.html

There is significant debate, as there should be, about how to optimize human performance. There has been a trend, however, to let these debates become divisive by some members of the community. This is a mistake.

CrossFit HQ’s stance is to expose the community to the widest variety of best practices so that we can further human performance. Identifying solely with one type of deadlift, backsquat or nutrition approach is counterproductive given the success that some athletes have with another type. Know them all, and use them productively and with discretion.

1) Sounds like someone wants to make extra sure they don't get caught up in franchise laws by directing the affiliates from HQ. Having him, of all people, on the record like this is another bit of Couch self preservation brilliance IMO.

2) Play vid to very end when he draws a couch and says that all variations are better than sitting on the couch. The best puns are unintended.

[WildGorillaMan]

Slow news day, so here's some ANYC to keep things going.

[TerryB]

There is significant debate, as there should be, about how to optimize human performance. There has been a trend, however, to let these debates become divisive by some members of the community. This is a mistake.

CrossFit HQ’s stance is to expose the community to the widest variety of best practices so that we can further human performance. Identifying solely with one type of deadlift, backsquat or nutrition approach is counterproductive given the success that some athletes have with another type. Know them all, and use them productively and with discretion.

[/quote]

This is awesome hypocrisy. Does anyone remember Couch's insanity-fueld attacks against Mike Caviston?? "YOU CAN'T TEACH ANYONE TO ROW LIKE THAT!!!!" "YOU CAN'T PICK UP A LOG LIKE THAT!!!!!" "MIKE CAVISTON IS HURTING THE TROOPS!!!!!" "USE OUR METHODS INSTEAD TO SAVE TROOPS LIVES!!!!! Certs now available at the one-time, low, low price of only $1000!!!"

[Kazuya Mishima]

AllisonNYC: fighting like hell to keep that fat girl inside her from coming out.

[Mountebank]

In deference to CM's sig:

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Is that Lauren and Lugo and ANYC all in the same pic?

[WildGorillaMan]

It is!



If Dirt Diva and Shari had been in it we'd have had a cosmic alignment or something.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

That dude behind them, I think his name is Kurt, told me in 2005 or whenever I went and partied with the Crossfitters after the Hyperfit USA cert, that I should open an affiliate.

He was a decent cat. About 6'4" or so.

[Kazuya Mishima]

DAT ASS

[Kazuya Mishima]

That dude behind them, I think his name is Kurt, told me in 2005 or whenever I went and partied with the Crossfitters after the Hyperfit USA cert, that I should open an affiliate.

He was a decent cat. About 6'4" or so.

I can't think of a better way to meet body obsessed women who actually get off of the couch and do something about their rampant insecurities.

[Really Big Strong Guy]

That dude behind them, I think his name is Kurt, told me in 2005 or whenever I went and partied with the Crossfitters after the Hyperfit USA cert, that I should open an affiliate.

He was a decent cat. About 6'4" or so.

I can't think of a better way to meet body obsessed women who actually get off of the couch and do something about their rampant insecurities.

Ever try going to a "Nursing School" Party? Very similar.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I used to teach Chem143, which was the Chemistry for Nursing Students, way back in college.

It was easier than shooting fish in a barrel.

[The Ginger Beard Man]

That dude behind them, I think his name is Kurt, told me in 2005 or whenever I went and partied with the Crossfitters after the Hyperfit USA cert, that I should open an affiliate.

He was a decent cat. About 6'4" or so.

I can't think of a better way to meet body obsessed women who actually get off of the couch and do something about their rampant insecurities.

Ever try going to a "Nursing School" Party? Very similar.

Try Overeater's Anonymous. Tell the chicks they look like they lost weight.

[Sofa King]

[quote="WildGorillaMan"]Slow news day, so here's some ANYC to keep things going.















Two things:
1. ANYC usually exposes skin in every picture she takes; usually cleavage. God bless her.
2. Nice "triumvirate" pic in the middle of Mrs. Cooch, LL, and ANYC. Two things date the picture; the size of Mrs. Couch's funbags tells me this is pre-2008, and the fact that UCLA looks to be playing in either a Sweet 16 or Elite 8 game tells me this was not last year, fo sho.

Still a nice photo montage for a rainy Monday. Carry on, Mr. Gorilla.

[powerlifter54]

That dude behind them, I think his name is Kurt, told me in 2005 or whenever I went and partied with the Crossfitters after the Hyperfit USA cert, that I should open an affiliate.

He was a decent cat. About 6'4" or so.

I can't think of a better way to meet body obsessed women who actually get off of the couch and do something about their rampant insecurities.

Ever try going to a "Nursing School" Party? Very similar.

Try Overeater's Anonymous. Tell the chicks they look like they lost weight.

Try your local #fit box. Tell the chicks they look like they lost weight.