The couch thread

[Gary John]

My brother is dying to find out who my remaining trolls at x-fit are.

Hint, many posts. Female.

Hint, joined February 2006.

Two from Virginia.

[Anon]

The admins are going to just ban everyone with that profile now.

Edit: Are you the energy behind the "Where is the girl power" thread? Bitches are prolly responding to your posts in some repressed-psycho-erotic way, talking to a man, they think is a woman.

[Anon]

http://ritabenavidez.wordpress.com/

Warning: DO NOT WATCH THIS

This chick has a video of some faggot pole dancing on her page:

Leave the socks on "baby" - while I fucking shoot you in the head.

[WildGorillaMan]

Don't any of you ever sleep?

[Gary John]

Left coasters had an advantage this time. I knew some of us, with less life than me, would keep posting.

I'm supposed to be throwing at a meet, but the other pussies are afraid that they will shrink if they get wet.
The ring is faster when its flooded.

[T200]

Gary John = Katherine Derbyshire.

[lasalle]

5x45. You're almost there.

[T200]

A ton of faggotry in that pic.

[Holy Cow]

"A Moment with Louie Simmons"

Starring Bony Pudding and Dave Cumthroat.

Louie Simmons: You can squat more than you can deadlift.
Bony Pudding: Is that true?
LS: Oh absolutey.
BP: I mean is that always true? Cause we have Crossfitters...some can deadlift more than they can squat.
LS: That's the beginning. That's the very beginning.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... sIntro.wmv

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... sIntro.mov

[T200]

Barry Coopz on the forum:

Dot com versus local

I just wanted to note briefly that a change has happened invisibly which is worth mentioning: the tide has swept away from a focus on the community HERE to a focus on local communities. We have some 1,500 affililates or something, which means that virtually everyone who wants to CrossFit can do it locally. Moreover, in almost all cases they have local websites, which act to tie things together.

A conservative guess is that there are some 10,000 people doing some type of CrossFit workout daily, but there are only a few hundred people posting here, as far as I can tell. Certainly it's not 10,000.

Do with this comment what you will.

[T200]

"A Moment with Louie Simmons"

Starring Bony Pudding and Dave Cumthroat.

Louie Simmons: You can squat more than you can deadlift.
Bony Pudding: Is that true?
LS: Oh absolutey.
BP: I mean is that always true? Cause we have Crossfitters...some can deadlift more than they can squat.
LS: That's the beginning. That's the very beginning.

Hilarious exchange.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Hahah.

Rip had some funny moments in his Iron Radio interview. I'll paraphrase it...

"It'll be nice to teach these movements to people who aren't 155 lbs and afraid to add any lean body mass because they think it'll take too much time off their 5K"

Beezlybob:

Back to reading John Jesse's Wrestling Physical Conditioning Encyclopedia. Has anyone read it?

John Jesse's book is overrated, IMO. It's pretty much all inclusive, so it doesn't go much into depth on any one topic. For being published in 1972 or whatever, it's full of a whole shitload of stuff that was kind of just sliding off the cutting edge. Jesse was obviously a bit of a student of the old time strongmen and shit like that.

However, it's startling how much does coincide with early Crossfit theory.

[TerryB]

I'll look forward to the video of Bony Pudding's training week at Westside.

After all, Cultfitters can do what Westsider's do nearly as good as they do.

[Yes I Have Balls]

I'll look forward to the video of Bony Pudding's training week at Westside.

After all, Cultfitters can do what Westsider's do nearly as good as they do.

Maybe Bony can compete with one of the Westside guys? They could do a "Heavy Fran" where the thruster is 300lbs.

That should take Bony about 3 years to complete.

[JohnnyBadAss]

Insider stuff on Robb's replacement for the nutrition "certs":

bobbi was robb's understudy and was slated to start doing some of his seminars so he could cut back on travel, etc. she was at the first non-robb nutrition "cert". apparently more than happy to fill his vacant spot... funny too because she meets none of the fancy new criteria couch outlined for his nutrition cert staff.

How could anyone be mad at @FHQ??? I just don't get it...

Hear ye, hear ye...this just in, hot off the presses. My contact at the Associated Press sent me a picture that they had floating around of this Bobbi lady, the nutrition diva. It looks like she's ready to get her 3 Zone blocks of Couch.

[rjudo]

Check out the Louie video w/Asstro trying to deadlift against the bands. Fuckin faggot.

[Mountebank]

After seeing the "I love this letter from Mike Mentzer" thread, it would seem that by combining their dumbassity, T-muscle/nation/whatever and @F would be able to alienate anyone they came into contact with even faster!

Not that they really need any help, of coarse.

Asstro's humpback waddle on the sled drag was teh awesum...

[Mountebank]

couch has now gone to Iraq, most likely to end the war with his display of super-secret-elite fitness!!!
http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005117.html

Benny,

In stating that only MD's and PhD's count you're compounding other light thinkers' bad reading. That was never stated by anyone, it was a terrific misread of a post of mine where I stated that we were going to run a nutrition cert with PhD's, and MD's with clinical experience and a staff with extensive clinical experience to replace the current offering.

The replaced individual responded with the comment that now only PhD's and MD's are qualified. You've just parroted his nonsense.

Your assumption that we're moving away from tested clinical knowledge is in fact exactly, perfectly, wrong. You have it entirely backwards.

It would be a mistake to think that having an advanced degree qualified anyone of anything, but it is an improvement to replace a guy claiming to have attended medical school with one who actually did - just as a starting point.

There is no aspect of the nutrition program that is not being improved on. To wit:

1. The staff will have better credentials
2. Have more clinical experience
3. Greater aptitude for science, math, and logic
4. Greater respect for the affiliates and trainers
5. Work with HQ with a collegial spirit
6. Satisfy a growing pressure from the scientific community to improve our nutrition offering.

You ask us to "bury the hatchet". I needed to replace a trainer openly hostile to HQ with marginal or more accurately NO clinical experience who very publicly called for the elimination of quantifiable methods in nutrition (no weighing and measuring of clients or food).
Comment #56 - Posted by: Coach at December 12, 2009 5:13 AM

Sard,

I'm in Iraq and up early.

Here's the deal. Medical science has something very powerful to offer the science of nutrition. Much of this offering has not been mainstream but nearly all of it came from researchers and clinicians "in the know". The rationale for reduced CHO intake and the knowledge of the perils of hyperinsulinism and attendant metabolic derangement has almost entirely come from physicians and researchers.

We're building a team from these academics and clinicians right now. The biggest problem is not in devising an effective comprehensive curriculum but scheduling, logistics, contracting, etc. Several of our first choice clinicians are quite concerned about being associated with the current offering after having attended one of the old certs. We want to avoid past mistakes and do this right. We also want to get this certification ANSI certified as we've almost completed for our training cert's.

Exercise science is quite a different matter. Here we're going to have to, at least for awhile, forge the way ourselves. I cannot even find a group of exercise physiologists who've been willing to offer a definition of fitness that is measurable and meets scientific muster.

Funny you mention the NSCA's CSCS certification. I lay a good part of the blame for an exercise science that is neither science nor about exercise on the NSCA. The NSCA's response to CrossFit dominating them in the marketplace and staking claim to evidence based fitness that first and foremost examines and studies human performance in universally recognized kinematic terms tied to a training stimulus has been to engage in tortuous interference of our contracts by publicly spreading lies about CF (EG, telling the Air Force that the Navy is suing us, a deliberate lie, sent by email, leaked to us)

I'd like nothing more than to tap into a stream of academics with something of measurable, demonstrable value to offer to coaches and trainers. I've become convinced such a community doesn't exist outside of the one we've created.

The interest in CF from sports and exercise science academics is, however, rapidly growing. For instance, we were just this week contacted by medical researchers from the Karolinska Institute in Sweeden eager to explore the impact of CF on sport performance and health.

Thanks for the civil discourse.
Comment #87 - Posted by: Coach at December 12, 2009 9:25 AM

Post known erroneous statements to comments.

[Sofa King]

Somebody needs to find Couch's quote about "hating" science, or not trusting it, or some bullshit like that.
He based @fit on "empirical" evidence and didn't need clinicians or scientists to show him what worked. Now he's sucking the balls of science to piss all over Robb Wolf, a guy who looked up to him as a role model (misguided notion, that).

Fuck that douche and his army of sycophantic phags.

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

Sources very close to HQ inform me that Cooch is in Iraq overseeing the final stages of preparing a super-secret, ultra-elite fighting force that is sure to be the turning point in the War on Terrorism. Word has it that these super @fit androids will be capable of not only sub 90 second Fran times, but will also be able to perform deadlifts for a 1 rm that approach the mythical barrier of 750 lbs, numbers unheard of in the @fit community as a whole. I have also been made privy to the fact that these Super Soldierz have been equipped with off the charts IQ's that may actually approach that of Glassmann himself. The idea being that if engaged in close quarters combat, they will actually be able to confuse Al-Qada into surrender will unprecedented use of hyperbola.
Take the yellow ribbon off the old oak tree, my friends...the boys are comin' home!!

[T200]

Fuck that douche and his army of sycophantic phags.

Including affiliates IMO.

Is Wolf still affiliated? If so he is still being a hypocritical cocksucker and is now (to me at least) coming off just as bad.

Couch always wins at the internetz. He is the ultimate troll.

[Jag Panzer]

He based @fit on "empirical" evidence and didn't need clinicians or scientists to show him what worked. Now he's sucking the balls of science to piss all over Robb Wolf, a guy who looked up to him as a role model (misguided notion, that).

Saying that couch is sucking the balls of science is like saying he's getting hammered on whiskey, when we all know he's a gin whore.

What he's doing here is the time-tested trick I like to call "making up some bullshit", and it works because he's talking to an audience full of idiot fangirl trim he's trying to pull. Oh and the insecure chumps that come along hoping they can cop a feel during a fight gone bad.

[Mountebank]

http://www.crossfitventura.com/crossfit ... tlist.html

"Exercise science is a myth if seen as other than a nascent science yet to make a significant contribution to human performance. I know of no sport, coaching technique, performance record or notable achievement in human performance derived even in part from scientific work."
-Greg Glassman

It should be made sure of that anyone with any science credentials see this before working with them, I'd think.

Almost forgot, couch's comment about "medical researchers from the Karolinska Institute in Sweeden eager to explore the impact of CF on sport performance and health"...this should be good. The documented breakdown of the subjects will be telling...if it ever happens. Maybe over there they will actually have an impact on "sport", 'cuz they sure aren't here!

If they don't find what couch wants, well then, science will just suck again.

Running back and forth from "science" to "clinic" won't save the program. Sorry. Real people have already figured it out.

[T200]

LOL at Swedish athletics.

But Swedish bitches FTW.

[GoDogGo!]

"Swedish Erotica." Now that's a blast from the past.