The couch thread

[sanchezero]

try 'sshaf'

cuz of the lithsp.

[Stayfq]

try 'sshaf'

cuz of the lithsp.

That's a great fucking sig. Blond, tits, and someone getting cunt punted.

[Gin Master]

What the hell happened this weekend? First T takes a shine to POD. Next, Shaf confesses to being the second original @Fer.

Meanwhile, the Empire continues to grow. Six @F certs over the weekend.

[T200]

What the hell happened this weekend? First T takes a shine to POD. Next, Shaf confesses to being the second original @Fer.

Meanwhile, the Empire continues to grow. Six @F certs over the weekend.

To answer for my own actions: I was high as a fucking kite on some new bud the whole weekend.

I apologize for my behavior.

In a sober state I am pretty much positive that POD is still gay.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

And I'm going to say what I did was called Shaf-erobics, not any sort of XF at all, because I was legitimately involved in a real competitive field sport at the time, and my training was specifically to help with that.

[WildGorillaMan]

How many pages from Friday to now? Eight, ten? Clearly it took some fucked up craziness to get here.

[rjudo]

And I'm going to say what I did was called Shaf-erobics, not any sort of XF at all, because I was legitimately involved in a real competitive field sport at the time, and my training was specifically to help with that.

Shaf-Fit Start up the certs NOW!

[TerryB]

1.blahblahblah This suggests to me this morning, as it did back then, that sickness, wellness, and fitness are varying, well ordered measures of the same phenomenon.

Yes, that phenomenon is called ... BEING ALIVE! If you are alive, you are alive on a scale that has "sick" on one end, and "fit" on the other. BRILLIANT COUCH!

I swear, this fuckstick is fucking retarded. His cultists mistake "confusing" for "erudite."

"Wow, I had to read, re-read, and re-read again Couch's post! He is brilliant!"

So the proposed legacy of CF is that we've defined "functional movement" as those movements categorically unique in their ability to express power, and power, or work capacity looking under the curve, is "fitness" when measured across broad time and modal domains and that fitness so measured across a life span modal, or any span of life, is "health".

Is this where 60lb DB Turkish Getups and "reverse burpees" come in???

[Gary John]

Baffle them with bullshit.

Like all the social science courses, where the jargon disguises the stupidity.

[tough old man]

Couch wrote:
So the proposed legacy of CF is that we've defined "functional movement" as those movements categorically unique in their ability to express power, and power, or work capacity looking under the curve, is "fitness" when measured across broad time and modal domains and that fitness so measured across a life span modal, or any span of life, is "health".

What does this even mean? I'm not the smartest person here but come on!

[TerryB]

Couch wrote:
So the proposed legacy of CF is that we've defined "functional movement" as those movements categorically unique in their ability to express power, and power, or work capacity looking under the curve, is "fitness" when measured across broad time and modal domains and that fitness so measured across a life span modal, or any span of life, is "health".

What does this even mean? I'm not the smartest person here but come on!

Universities* are working in shifts to analyze this!

Unfortunately, its the English professors, not the sports scientists.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

How about "Shafercise"? I don't want to infringe upon the open source "___-Fit" intellectual property.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

He's desperately trying to hold onto the garbage movement triumvirate, i.e sumo stance high pull, med ball clean, and thruster.

[Gin Master]

Couch wrote:
So the proposed legacy of CF is that we've defined "functional movement" as those movements categorically unique in their ability to express power, and power, or work capacity looking under the curve, is "fitness" when measured across broad time and modal domains and that fitness so measured across a life span modal, or any span of life, is "health".

What an asshole.

Hey, remember the custom bikes that were presented to Mr. and Mrs. Couch at the 2008 Gaymes?

[TerryB]

He's desperately trying to hold onto the garbage movement triumvirate, i.e sumo stance high pull, med ball clean, and thruster.

For a progressive, open source system that supposedly evolves through "real world" experience and is "open to new ideas," there hasn't been much "evolution" in the past few years. In contrast, they've only EXPANDED (in numbers and dollars).

The "empirical proof" of this is found in the LACK of cultfitters in 2009-10 who were present in 2003-04. Additional proof is the LACK of improved numbers. If you look at the "empirical data," you find nothing but a continuing-replaceable slew of novices and beginners. You'd think the Cultfitters from 2003 would be elite Olympians, or at least Elite GAYMES competitors. So much for the "longevity" axis, eh Couch?

[Grandpa's Spells]

He's desperately trying to hold onto the garbage movement triumvirate, i.e sumo stance high pull, med ball clean, and thruster.

The problem with that, however, is that this could fuck him over pretty seriously, since the identifying characteristics of CrossFit are complete nonsense. A clever @Fitter could design a "new" system that differentiated itself by:

Stage One:
ADAMANTLY REJECTING Couch's meaningless statements (which is easy, since they don't really mean anything) while pretending to take them seriously to create a "legitimate difference in training philosophy." "We're of the opinion that measuring across broad time and modal domains is the wrong approach! In fact, measuring against broad time and modal domains can result in parabolas of injury when graphed along the z-axis."

Stage Two:
Then in practical terms, toss out CrossFit's "critical defining exercises such as" thruster, med-ball clean, parallettes and sumo high pull crap as non-functional domains and throw in heavy barbell work, like the strong CrossFitters already do.

Stage three: Profit!

[WildGorillaMan]

Jesus H Gorilla Fuck, who taught her to row like this?



She's also overdressed.

[Turdacious]

There's a phase two?

[TerryB]

There's a phase two?

Yes

[Alfred_E._Neuman]

Jesus H Gorilla Fuck, who taught her to row like this?

[img]fucked%20up%20rowing[/img]

She's also overdressed.

There's a dude who comes to my gym that has the single worst rowing form I've ever seen. No @fitter can come close to the shitty form this dude proudly displays.

This guy makes the shit in your pick look like the gold medal winner in the single skull a the Olympics.

[Kazuya Mishima]

Well, you don't see this everyday.

[Yes I Have Balls]

The "empirical proof" of this is found in the LACK of cultfitters in 2009-10 who were present in 2003-04. Additional proof is the LACK of improved numbers. If you look at the "empirical data," you find nothing but a continuing-replaceable slew of novices and beginners. You'd think the Cultfitters from 2003 would be elite Olympians, or at least Elite GAYMES competitors. So much for the "longevity" axis, eh Couch?

I think a whole thread of mine got pulled one time not long ago where I was seriously wondering where all the homegrown elite @fitters were? Where were the 23 year olds that had been doing @fit at "elite" levels for 3-4 years and why weren't they competing in the games? All the top places in the gaymes had outside strength backgrounds, competed at a D1 college level, etc.

The one consistent answer I got was "Well, what about Khalista Pappas?" Great if a 14-year old girl is elite in your sport, you better be in a pool or on the fucking pommel horse - NOT performing DL's, running hills and doing power cleans. She's more of an anomaly than anything else.

The other asshole who supposedly is in the 'elite' pipeline is dickface CF Kid's super-apologist's son Connor Martin, who among other things apparently is a black belt of some kind. Well, Connor, where are ya? 2009? Didn't qualify - too bad son. 2008 you ask? Surely he murdered it that year as there was no qualification needed and he has been tactically-@fitting since birth? Nope 116th place.

But, since Crossfit "Prides itself in domination of other athletes" I guess all is well - as long as the money keeps rolling in.

[rjudo]

Well, you don't see this everyday.

What, black dude crossfitting?

[T200]

Well, you don't see this everyday.

What, black dude crossfitting?

Either that or an adult male's hand slipping off the bar at the floor on a 155lb deadlift.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Well, you don't see this everyday.

What, black dude crossfitting?

Either that or an adult male's hand slipping off the bar at the floor on a 155lb deadlift.

That's a deadlift? Holy fuck!