The couch thread

[lasalle]

But they have no standards releasing hundreds of Level 1 certified liabilities onto the world. Hence the need for the RRG.

Oh, but now they have a rigorous test at the Level 1 Cert. They don't just pass those certificates out to anyone.

I know of someone who literally stumbled in to the last 3 hours of day two of the cert. She walked out with a certificate. :-"

[T200]

While all this is going on @fit accepted the application for affiliation for some shady fucks who were defaming and fucking with other affiliates. It was pointed out to @fit that said "shady fucks" have a criminal record and did some seriously naughty shit. @fit response? Application: Accepted.

Which affiliate is this you are referring to and what did they do?

[TerryB]

POW!!!!!

This needs to be on every page.

BTW, that long ass paragraph from the Cougar is actually very cogent and shows good critical thinking skills on her part. I'd like to see Berry's response.

[WildGorillaMan]

Came in here and didn't see the thread. Paniced for a good 10 seconds before I noticed it had been stickied.

Thought the couch lawyers had put a halt to the truth spreading or some other ghey shit.

Fear not, friend. IGX has better lawyers in more states, and we cover the legal spectrum. I'm just a shit-talking plaintiff's guy, but we have some real motherfuckers here. @F has Dale, his paralegal, Barry Cooper, and a bunch of transactional commentators that have never seen a courtroom.

Why is @fit using that legal aid dipshit? What happened to Wilson Sonsini? Couch used to love throwing their name around a few years ago. At $1000/hr for their advice, I imagine meeting with them seriously cut into the cert money.

[chi]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

[Grandpa's Spells]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Alfred_E._Neuman]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

Yep. That topped the hate tank up with 110 octane pure loathing.

There's going to be A LOT of old douchebags running around in their 60's regreting getting tatted up to hell and back in their 20's.

[Gin Master]

Why is @fit using that legal aid dipshit? What happened to Wilson Sonsini? Couch used to love throwing their name around a few years ago. At $1000/hr for their advice, I imagine meeting with them seriously cut into the cert money.

IIRC, Couch mentioned in passing that WS had done some pro bono work for them regarding their IP. Couch had to point out that @F had the same lawyers as HP, Oracle, and whatever other Silicon Valley shops they represented at the time.

It was probably closer to the bullshit we get when we're trying to do a set of squats and some asshole is asking if he has to pay a traffic ticket if they got his address wrong.

Or maybe Couch got drunk and called prepaid legal, filtered the information through his Hyperbolizer(TM), and pasted it on the interwebz.

[Gin Master]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

That's a whole cord of wood for the hate fire.

If that fucker ever wants a job outside of sanitation, he'll have to wear a bee-keeper's outfit to the interview.

[lasalle]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

This one worked for me:

Myself and two of my friends were doing crossfit at a local gym. We ended up getting booted from the gym for what they called 'unauthorized training.' Apparently we had to many people inquiring about what we were doing and wanted to do it. The trainers were not happy. Needless to say, we got the boot.

We had a trainer there, a big guy, wanted to Grace with us. At rep 17, he quit...said he was done. We're such Infidels.
Comment #15 - Posted by: Tim at December 16, 2009 7:08 PM

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005127.html

[Gin Master]

$58.00
This short is designed specifically for those men who require the versatility and durability of a fight short.

Because you can't do Fran in $6 cotton shorts from Academy.



I'm going to collect these bitches as trophies from anyone I see wearing them.

[T200]

This one worked for me:

Myself and two of my friends were doing crossfit at a local gym. We ended up getting booted from the gym for what they called 'unauthorized training.' Apparently we had to many people inquiring about what we were doing and wanted to do it. The trainers were not happy. Needless to say, we got the boot.

We had a trainer there, a big guy, wanted to Grace with us. At rep 17, he quit...said he was done. We're such Infidels.
Comment #15 - Posted by: Tim at December 16, 2009 7:08 PM

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005127.html

More from that link:

HELP!!!HELP!!!HELP!!!

So at our local Base gym at langley I arrive here to find out we have a crossfit gym(a raquet ball court turned into crossfit room) They have threatened to get rid of it due to the fact that a gentleman down Norfolk VA whom happened to be in the Navy was doing crossfit and was said to been pushed to hard and hurt himself .Probably didnt keep his form and tried to keep the intensity, what a dumbass. Well , he tried to sue the trainer and trainer "said he represented crossfit" so he sued crossfit and he won. Now the AF got scared so they are taking the one thing we love and brings our morale up , there taking it away. Some would say join an affiliate , not if you have seen the pay charts of E-1 through E-5 to much money. My thought are to get a few guys together and build one in my backyard , until base housing makes us tear it down. My concern is the fact that we are not doing something wrong , in actualality we are doing something right , take the AF pt test how many people other than crossfitters , gymnast and martial artists can run a 9min flat mile and a half do 75p/u , 80 situps and have a 30 inch waist . Do all those standards and be able to S/C there body weight D/L almost double there body weight . Do everything other than Snatch and O/H there body weight. Nobody, CROSSFITTERS you idiots. i am so frustrated that one thing I care so much about is under so much bad rap. And top it all off and I still can mantain an ability to do ultras due to crossfit ,I dont have to "run " as much because I still get the cario workout even when not running , so I can run less to run more.

Sorry for the B!@$% and moning , Just give me and my friends some words of incouragement .
Thanks love all of yall.

Response to #33, Kronick, I feel your pain. Although I'm a Marine, and most Marine bases have military affiliates not, I am currently doing a joint tour on an Air Force Base. Thanks to the Globo Chiropracter here who has a bad impression of Crossfit, there isn't much support at the base fitness center. I think the problem comes from having a name, "CrossFit"...it makes it easy to avoid personal accountability. In other words, "I got hurt by Crossfit" instead of "I was stupid, and did something with poor form, with too much weight.." The so called experts who smite the Crossfit label would be better served correcting the globo-hordes hopping on machines and weights that they know NOTHING about.

Hang in there Kronick. My advice to you is find a like minded group of combat atheletes and train. Use caution, especially with newbies, and emphasize the basics. Remember, even if you aren't certified, you represent the community with the T-shirts you wear, and by throwing around the Crossfit language. I make it a point to rock my Crossfit shirts in the globo-gym here, and I am slowly recruiting a band of elites. Sometimes, I'll drag my own kettlebells and bumpers into the gym...the staff doesn't know what to do...Ha!

Si vis pacem, para bellum!
"If you want peace, prepare for war!"

#23 Kev. I used to get those too, busted blood vessels, especially around my eyes and nose. Next time you are doing HSPUs try to breath more, worked for me.

Squat cleans:
155
155
177
177
199 F
199 F
177 F
155 (completed but I wacked myself in the Adam's apple pretty good)

On the three fails had it just caught the weight too far forward and had to dump at the b

[WildGorillaMan]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

That's a whole cord of wood for the hate fire.

If that fucker ever wants a job outside of sanitation, he'll have to wear a bee-keeper's outfit to the interview.

While I can't speak for the guy that runs Hot Chicks With Douchebags, I imagine that if he saw that pic he'd nickname him Prince Lamor of Tat-lantis.

[WildGorillaMan]

#23 Kev. I used to get those too, busted blood vessels, especially around my eyes and nose. Next time you are doing HSPUs try to breath more, worked for me.

Squat cleans:
155
155
177
177
199 F
199 F
177 F
155 (completed but I wacked myself in the Adam's apple pretty good)

On the three fails had it just caught the weight too far forward and had to dump at the b

Bully for him for having the sack to go for a double bodyweight clean.

[Really Big Strong Guy]

Came in here and didn't see the thread. Paniced for a good 10 seconds before I noticed it had been stickied.

Thought the couch lawyers had put a halt to the truth spreading or some other ghey shit.

Fear not, friend. IGX has better lawyers in more states, and we cover the legal spectrum. I'm just a shit-talking plaintiff's guy, but we have some real motherfuckers here. @F has Dale, his paralegal, Barry Cooper, and a bunch of transactional commentators that have never seen a courtroom.

And We've even got lawyers who can lift a shit ton of weights too.

[Yes I Have Balls]

if anyone is suffering from a lack of hate, you will, im sure, find inspiration from this

That's a whole cord of wood for the hate fire.

If that fucker ever wants a job outside of sanitation, he'll have to wear a bee-keeper's outfit to the interview.

Isnt this the fucker that sticks his dick into TitsNYC?

[Shave Astroglide]

While all this is going on @fit accepted the application for affiliation for some shady fucks who were defaming and fucking with other affiliates. It was pointed out to @fit that said "shady fucks" have a criminal record and did some seriously naughty shit. @fit response? Application: Accepted.

Which affiliate is this you are referring to and what did they do?

Can't spill that quite yet. It's on the west coast, southerly.

Like Dan john said, this will all come out in the deposition. IGX will be instrumental in dethroning the PT Barnum of fitness and saving untold numbers of otherwise good people from turning qweer.

Gl@sshole's extravagant lifestyle is catching up with him. Boning Leesa Lewdgo on the road mixed with private cars, flights, top shelf Gin and the best Humbolt Budz has made the fitness machine skinny in teh cash reserves. Mrs. Couch is pissed.

Now, it's a liability to become a CF affiliate.

Better to just open a gym. IGX-Integrated Gym Experience (TM)

Opportunistic, competitive Level 1 seminars are on the horizon. How many affiliates can they lose, how much dip in certs can they withstand while battling the FTC? Good timez.

[Really Big Strong Guy]

Next question - which good citizen is going to Blow the Whistle and inform the FTC and the IRS of said franchiser's lack of paying said franchise licesning and tax fees?

I honestly don't know if you have to have "standing" to alert the FTC/IRS of these potential voilations or not. But if you do , some of those "former" affiliates that are bailing, or have been terminated, would definitely have it.

[Mountebank]

Next question - which good citizen is going to Blow the Whistle and inform the FTC and the IRS of said franchiser's lack of paying said franchise licesning and tax fees?

I honestly don't know if you have to have "standing" to alert the FTC/IRS of these potential voilations or not. But if you do , some of those "former" affiliates that are bailing, or have been terminated, would definitely have it.

I've posted this previously, but in case nOObs to this thread haven't read it before:
FTC Complaint Assistant

Before You Submit a Complaint

The Federal Trade Commission, the nation's consumer protection agency, collects complaints about companies, business practices, identity theft, and episodes of violence in the media.

Why: Your complaints can help us detect patterns of wrong-doing, and lead to investigations and prosecutions. The FTC enters all complaints it receives into Consumer Sentinel, a secure online database that is used by thousands of civil and criminal law enforcement authorities worldwide.

[Really Big Strong Guy]

I wonder who will cowboy up and file the complaint? It would be funny if like a 1000 disgrunted folk submitted the same complaint. Now, that would be priceless.

Anyone wanna take a stab a "draft" complaint folk could file?

Next question - which good citizen is going to Blow the Whistle and inform the FTC and the IRS of said franchiser's lack of paying said franchise licesning and tax fees?

I honestly don't know if you have to have "standing" to alert the FTC/IRS of these potential voilations or not. But if you do , some of those "former" affiliates that are bailing, or have been terminated, would definitely have it.

I've posted this previously, but in case nOObs to this thread haven't read it before:
FTC Complaint Assistant

Before You Submit a Complaint

The Federal Trade Commission, the nation's consumer protection agency, collects complaints about companies, business practices, identity theft, and episodes of violence in the media.

Why: Your complaints can help us detect patterns of wrong-doing, and lead to investigations and prosecutions. The FTC enters all complaints it receives into Consumer Sentinel, a secure online database that is used by thousands of civil and criminal law enforcement authorities worldwide.

[Mountebank]

OK, @F affiliate lurkers! Who wants to get their money back???

IRS.gov: Whistleblower - Informant Award

The IRS Whistleblower Office pays money to people who blow the whistle on persons who fail to pay the tax that they owe. If the IRS uses information provided by the whistleblower, it can award the whistleblower up to 30 percent of the additional tax, penalty and other amounts it collects.

Who can get an award?

The IRS may pay awards to people who provide specific and credible information to the IRS if the information results in the collection of taxes, penalties, interest or other amounts from the noncompliant taxpayer.

The IRS is looking for solid information, not an “educated guess” or unsupported speculation. We are also looking for a significant Federal tax issue - this is not a program for resolving personal problems or disputes about a business relationship

IRS.gov - How Do You Report Suspected Tax Fraud Activity?

If you suspect or know of an individual or company that is not complying with the tax laws, you may report this activity by completing Form 3949-A. You may fill out Form 3949-A online, print it and mail it to:

Internal Revenue Service
Fresno, CA 93888

[Yes I Have Balls]

POW!!!!!

This needs to be on every page.

Agreed.

[The Ginger Beard Man]

POW!!!!!

This needs to be on every page.

Agreed.

Could those possibly be implants?

[Yes I Have Balls]

POW!!!!!

This needs to be on every page.

Agreed.

Could those possibly be implants?

I'd volunteer to find out!

[Gin Master]

POW!!!!!

This needs to be on every page.

Agreed.

Could those possibly be implants?

Nope. It is teh Anaconda topical gel. Rub it on the ass cheeks, and POW!