The couch thread

[T200]

Jesus Monkey Fuck, every time I leave the house and come back there's fucking five new pages or more. I can't keep up.

I will do a recap:

@Fitter 1 joins and says I am a faggot.

@Fitter 2 joins and says yes, but I am a bigger faggot.

Everyone else is dismayed at best and pissed at worst.

Cleanse:

[Dan Martin]

Jesus Monkey Fuck, every time I leave the house and come back there's fucking five new pages or more. I can't keep up.

Quit tossing your turds at the Zoo visitors then.

[Yes I Have Balls]

All this hate...strangely enough, I'm now getting interested in seeing her naked.

Ugh - I'd be afraid her dick is bigger than mine.

[T200]

Based on the rest of her being so unappealing I can only assume she keeps teh pussy hairy.

[TerryB]

Based on the rest of her being so unappealing I can only assume she keeps teh pussy hairy.

Like wrestling a schoolmarm-ish Chewbacca.

[The Ginger Beard Man]

Lots of lulz, but I particularly enjoyed 1:28. @Fit-Lalanne Fitness getting elite.

This one must have been awesome. It's been taken down already. Someone at LaLanne must be one of our dozens of lurkers.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Based on the rest of her being so unappealing I can only assume she keeps teh pussy hairy.

Like wrestling a schoolmarm-ish Chewbacca.

wonder which one of the L1 instructors she went down on? She's ugly enough to be a dyke however.

[T200]

But fat enough to give good head IMO.

[Anon]

First let me say, keeping up with the couch thread is now it's own modal domain that must be done at high intensity.

Re Crossfit Cincinnati: I have posted some of their videos before here, its friggin funny as hell, but makes me uncomfortable. Let's not lose site of the fact that it's the Cincinnati Cooch who is to blame, we should applaud the sheeple, who frankly, look damn determined to make a change in their lives. Yea, its weak that they don't tell their cooch to fuck off when he says that, today, they are working on the spelunking modal domain (presumably using the bench). The fact that he has an eyeball permanently inserted into his video camera, and continually spouts encourgement and light form feedback that goes un-heeded, is the problem (and cannot program for shit, etc. etc.). He is obviously more skilled at making ghey scene transitions and audio mixing with the typical thought of the day at the end (which this time, i could not bear to watch to confirm it's presence) than couching his way out of a paper "box".

hate...level...increasing

Funny that the other video is pulled when it comes under the critical eye of the IGx - LOL, do we need to start ripping the youtube videos for posterity too?

[I'd Hit It]

Fighting CrossFit means showing crossfitters that there's a better way - that they can be fitter, healthier, and look even better, while NOT having to do random, demeaning exercises til they collapse.

This is something the cult analogy fails to fully address. CF introduces gym rats to KBs, Oly lifting, power lifting, non-Weight Watchers nutrition strategies, and a whole variety of other S&C and health topics that are, initially, a hell of a lot better than anything they've done before. Simply telling them they're wrong is ineffective. It's like trying to convince a nerd that his first girlfriend is a crazy bitch. He's so overwhelmed with the opportunity to get his dick wet he's blinded to other options. We've got to brush 'em off and take them to the local frat party for the girls who will not only let them stick it in but swallow, too.

But goddamn, it is so easy to point and laugh.



Finding a CFag who can't hold a decent rack position is like shooting fish in a barrel.

[Yes I Have Balls]

But fat enough to give good head IMO.

She'd have to figure out a way to keep that fucking beak out of the way

[Jag Panzer]

This is something the cult analogy fails to fully address. CF introduces gym rats to KBs, Oly lifting, power lifting, non-Weight Watchers nutrition strategies, and a whole variety of other S&C and health topics that are, initially, a hell of a lot better than anything they've done before.

This here is why the shit is so funny. On paper, you'd think, "hey, these guys are pulling from some solid shit".

Then you actually look at it and realize that they've found a way to fuck up some shit that should be un-fuck-uppable, simply because of shitty programming and a team of couches that apparently don't know what the fuck they're doing.

That's a modal domain that @Fit excels at.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Jag Panzer has the goods.

Look at the sheer number of things they fuck up:

1. Foundational movements: These are NOT the thruster, the med ball clean, the sumo stance high pull
2. Kettlebells: American swing - 'nuff said.
3. Olympic lifts: High reps - 'nuff said.
4. Powerlifts: The fact that there is now a LBBS acronym makes me want to punch a bitch in the throat.

The list can be expanded significantly.

[Croatoa]

What's the going exchange rate on American Swings right now?

[T200]

The American Swing is currently equal to fondling testicles while cock stares you in the face on a scale of faggotry.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Jag Panzer has the goods.

Look at the sheer number of things they fuck up:

1. Foundational movements: These are NOT the thruster, the med ball clean, the sumo stance high pull
2. Kettlebells: American swing - 'nuff said.
3. Olympic lifts: High reps - 'nuff said.
4. Powerlifts: The fact that there is now a LBBS acronym makes me want to punch a bitch in the throat.

The list can be expanded significantly.

5. What fucking good is your 'training program' if you CONSTANTLY injure the trainees???

http://board.crossfit.com/forumdisplay.php?f=12

[Kraj]

I agree with you on one point, that powerlifting is not about health and fitness. It's a sport, where competitors lift heavy fucking weights. The very best aren't training to be healthy. They're training to be elite at lifting heavy weight. That's the nature of sport. It's not about health and I'm not seeing why you think it's being suggested it is.

I disdain crossfit because not only are they claiming health and fitness (which they don't deliver), but they're also claiming elite status (which again they don't deliver, obviously).

If I were to suggest a program for health and fitness, I would much rather go with powerlifting influenced training (not maxing all the time, but real weights with quality exercises done with good volume) and regular cardio and stretching.

As a strength sport, Powerlifting >>> CrossFit
As a fitness system, Powerlifting == Crossfit

To me, powerlifting is a sport, while CrossFit is not. If I judge CrossFit as a sport, then it fails compared to powerlifting. Likewise, if I judge powerlifting as a health and fitness system then it fails as well.

All I'm saying is that both CrossFit and powerlifting are low on the list when it comes to functional, every day health and fitness.

[Pinky]

I would like to humbly recommend a new type of swing that combines the American swing with the DARC swing.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Yeah, there's too much shit to get into.

XF is wrong on a huge number of things.

Kraj is a funny retard...doesn't much know what the fuck is going on with regards to PL, since he seems to be taking only HW lifters as examples.

I know plenty of PLs who would be considered fit and healthy.

[Kraj]

Yeah, there's too much shit to get into.

XF is wrong on a huge number of things.

Kraj is a funny retard...doesn't much know what the fuck is going on with regards to PL, since he seems to be taking only HW lifters as examples.

I know plenty of PLs who would be considered fit and healthy.

All fat fucks think they're healthy in a "big boned" way. Please enlighten me on who these fit & healthy powerlifters are. Also, please state how many surgeries they've had to fix the shit they fucked up powerlifting, and the total earnings they've made from said powerlifting to justify the toll such training takes on their bodies and schedules.

Deadlifting and various presses and shit don't belong to powerlifting any more than burpees belong to CrossFit. They're all exercises that DO have a valid part in a smart fitness program. What I'm arguing against is powerlifting, which is a sport whose contestants' goal it is to lift as much weight as possible in various exercises. Training to lift such extreme weight is both pointless and unhealthy. That's a fact.

[Dan Martin]

Yeah, there's too much shit to get into.

XF is wrong on a huge number of things.

Kraj is a funny retard...doesn't much know what the fuck is going on with regards to PL, since he seems to be taking only HW lifters as examples.

I know plenty of PLs who would be considered fit and healthy.

All fat fucks think they're healthy in a "big boned" way. Please enlighten me on who these fit & healthy powerlifters are. Also, please state how many surgeries they've had to fix the shit they fucked up powerlifting, and the total earnings they've made from said powerlifting to justify the toll such training takes on their bodies and schedules.

Deadlifting and various presses and shit don't belong to powerlifting any more than burpees belong to CrossFit. They're all exercises that DO have a valid part in a smart fitness program. What I'm arguing against is powerlifting, which is a sport whose contestants' goal it is to lift as much weight as possible in various exercises. Training to lift such extreme weight is both pointless and unhealthy. That's a fact.

Don't be so cunty.

[Kraj]

Don't be so cunty.

I don't appreciate being called out on common sense facts.

[Dan Martin]

Don't be so cunty.

I don't appreciate being called out on common sense facts.

Exactly my point. Be a leader rather than a douche. Take the high road and stay there.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Squeal Oink Oink Squeal:

http://board.crossfit.com/showpost.php? ... ostcount=2

couple of ways to attack this (back off weeks):

1) lower weight
2) make every rep very deliberate, reset after everyone, thus not caring about the clock
3) 1&2
4) do 1/2 volume, maintaining the same intensity. (half reps or rounds)

for the 1-1-1-1-1 days: don't go for a new PR, just do something moderately heavy (80% of 1RMish) and go straight across.

[Blaidd Drwg]

Yeah, there's too much shit to get into.

XF is wrong on a huge number of things.

Kraj is a funny retard...doesn't much know what the fuck is going on with regards to PL, since he seems to be taking only HW lifters as examples.

I know plenty of PLs who would be considered fit and healthy.

All fat fucks think they're healthy in a "big boned" way. Please enlighten me on who these fit & healthy powerlifters are. Also, please state how many surgeries they've had to fix the shit they fucked up powerlifting, and the total earnings they've made from said powerlifting to justify the toll such training takes on their bodies and schedules.

Deadlifting and various presses and shit don't belong to powerlifting any more than burpees belong to CrossFit. They're all exercises that DO have a valid part in a smart fitness program. What I'm arguing against is powerlifting, which is a sport whose contestants' goal it is to lift as much weight as possible in various exercises. Training to lift such extreme weight is both pointless and unhealthy. That's a fact.

FSF may be a better venue for your Rantesque fucktarded arguments. high level athlets in all sports are fuct up. But your grasp of the "facts" tells me you've never been to a PL meet nor do you know many powerlifters period.

the myriad of USAPL masters powerlifters i train with are far healthier becuase of powerlifiting. Low to average bodyfat (these are weight class athletes, heaviest male being 185-190) , high degree of muscularity, good cardiovascular function, excellent range of motion in joints and terrific bone density which may not seem like a big deal to a cake eating desk jockey like yourself, but the three or four 60-70 year old woman powerlifiters I know put a lot of stock in it because it keep them active.

Further, why would anyone want crossfit to change? it's perfect right now, maybe a litlte more jesus and porn but other than that. Perfect. Show them the light? No. I just want better production values for the affiliate level porn...and I wanbt Couch posting his thoughts on twitter 24/7.