The couch thread

[WildGorillaMan]

Why would anyone want @fit to vanish? What would we do for fun then? @fit is a multimedia soap opera that is on 24/7. I just want to see them amp up the crazy another few notches.

[tough old man]

From T-Nation/muscle whateverthehellitis -- VALERIA

Considering I'm a powerlifter by trade, you might assume that I don't like CrossFit, but that's actually not the case.

I like CrossFit, or at least I like aspects of it. Like many strength trainers who've given the CrossFit system an honest shot over the years, I think it has a lot of positive attributes to offer the fitness community. But it also has a number of significant negatives that due to my powerlifter roots prevents me from blindly endorsing the infamous Glassman Kool-Aid.

So what do I like about it?

I like how it gets people to work hard, which is probably the main element lacking in most recreational lifter's programs. It doesn't just sneak hard work into the workout; it slaps you in the face with it from the get-go. As a coach, I like and respect that.

I like how the entire workout is often timed. One way CrossFit attempts to separate the very fit from the not-so-fit is by tracking how long the workout takes to complete rather than just focusing on simple load or rep progression. That's an interesting and enlightening way of doing things. More on this later.

I like how the system focuses on big, compound lifts. I give tall props to CrossFit for re-introducing the "scary" Olympic lifts like the snatch and power clean back into the recreational lifter's exercise repertoire while deep-sixing the pink dumbbell triceps kickbacks.

I like how CrossFit trains all of the energy systems, which is another thing lacking in many lifters' programs and is great for improving overall fitness and reducing bodyfat.

And finally, I like how everyone can do the same workout so that each lifter can compare themselves to one another. This promotes competition, which is widely regarded to be a major factor in increasing motivation and performance. As a competitive guy myself, it's fun to do a workout and then log in and see where you stand and what times other people are doing. It's nice for the ego when you do well; it's humbling and motivating when you don't.

But as stated in my introduction, CrossFit has a number of weaknesses I just can't get past. The programming is a little haphazard for my taste. Sometimes there is too much load on the shoulder girdle, the knees, and the lower back. It may be okay when you're lifting lighter weights, but ask anyone who can push some serious poundage and they'll tell you that as you get stronger, recovery becomes more of an issue.

Along similar lines, although I like the Olympic lifts a lot, for many lifters that are too old, too inflexible, too big, or perhaps a bit of all of the above, it may not be worth it (or even feasible) to learn how to do things like cleans and overhead squats effectively enough to get a productive training stimulus.

I also think the workouts are a little too intense. I know that may make me sound like a pansy, but once you're skilled at the things you're trying to do, you can take yourself to pure exhaustion relatively easily. Sometimes that's a good thing, but doing energy system work at or near failure 1-3 days a week, combined with heavy lifting 1-3 days a week, is rough to do long term if you have a reasonable level of experience.

And finally, while I like the idea of emphasizing the compound lifts, the idea of doing no isolation exercises at all if you're trying to shape your body or improve weak points is a flaw to me. Call me a meathead bodybuilder, but no forearms (no arms at all for that matter), no knee flexion, etc. is not a positive programming note in my mind.


Introducing the Ultimate Test of Strength and Conditioning
Although the CrossFit system has too many limitations for me to endorse it as stand-alone system, there are too many good things about it for me to abandon it entirely. In particular, I've become a fan of the timed-workout approach, but in a specific application. It's not something I'd use day-to-day to train or develop strength, but it's fantastic for the establishment of training benchmarks, something sorely missing in many strength and conditioning programs.

CrossFitters constantly chew up bandwidth by challenging one another to beat their best Fran time, as it's one of the benchmark workouts that many CrossFitters use to measure themselves by. As strength and conditioning enthusiasts, what would our benchmark be? The old school football standard of a 225lb bench press repetition test? What if you can't bench 225? What if you weigh 400lbs and can bench 225lbs 56 times but can't walk around the block without wheezing? I think we can do better.

So my idea was this: come up with a good, solid CrossFit-style benchmark workout, but geared toward strength athletes, that you could do in almost any gym (no special equipment required). The weights would be heavy enough to challenge even strong folks, but light enough so that almost any lifter could at least get through it, albeit at a slower pace.

CrossFit has their 'Fran', well now we have our 'Valeria'.

Here is the workout: simple, brutal, and if you're perverse enough in the head, fun.

Valeria - Workout for Time (Elite Level):
Bench Press: 275 x 21 reps
Deadlift: 405 x 21 reps
Pull-ups: +50 lbs x 21 reps
EZ Bar Curls: 135 x 21 reps

There are other levels of intensity listed below.

In this workout, you perform all the reps of one exercise before moving on to the next exercise. You can rest whenever necessary for as long as necessary, but the goal is to do the total workout in as short a time as possible.

Another thing I like about CrossFit workouts is that they're scalable. The Elite level is designed to be very challenging, so listed below are 3 different levels for both men and women that you might work up to as you progress. These levels also account for bodyweight. Remember though, this is written for strength athletes, so the expectations of what you can lift will be reasonably high.

Men (220 lbs)

Good (<30:00) Level 1 Very Good (<30:00) Level 2 Elite (<30:00) Level 3
Bench 185 or .8xBW 225 or BW 275 or 1.25xBW
Deadlift 315 or 1.5xBW 365 or 1.75xBW 405 or 2xBW
Pull-ups BW BW + 25 lbs (x.125BW) BW + 50 lbs (x.25BW)
EZ Curls 85 or .4xBW 110 or .5xBW 135 or .6xBW

Women (135 lbs)

Good (<30:00) Level 1 Very Good (<30:00) Level 2 Elite (<30:00) Level 3
Bench 75 or .5xBW 105 or .75xBW 135 or BW
Deadlift 135 or BW 185 or 1.5xBW 225 or 2xBW
Pull-ups 5 15 21
EZ Curls 45 or .3xBW 55 or .4xBW 65 or .5xBW

Remember, you're to do 21 reps of bench, 21 deadlifts, 21 pull-ups, and 21 curls.

A note about the exercises: I chose these exercise for a number of reasons—they cover the majority of the body, they can highlight different weak points a person might have, and minus the curls they're big, compound lifts that most people know how to do with little instruction.

The Bench Press: I chose the bench press because most CrossFitters don't like the bench press. I can respect the idea of the bench press getting too much publicity and liking the shoulder press more, but simply not doing the bench press is a flaw in my opinion. It hits more muscles, improves push-ups and dip performance more, and it's arguably the most popular exercise in the world.

I've seen way too many CrossFitters with a crappy bench fail to make progress in the bench because CrossFit workouts rarely include the bench press. I can see not over emphasizing it, but I can't see basically ignoring it.

Execution: Pretty self explanatory, but just to be clear- bring the bar down to your chest, lightly touch your chest, and then press back up to full or near full extension. That's one rep.

The Deadlift: In this workout, the deadlift reps do not have to be dead stop reps, but they're not loud, bounce reps either. Lightly touch the ground and come back up. I imagine CrossFitters and non-CrossFitters alike will agree on how cool and beneficial the deadlift is.

Execution: Again, pretty self-explanatory: load up the bar, pick it up (whatever style you prefer) to lockout, lower the bar, touch the ground, and do it again.

Pull-ups: Another CrossFit classic, although this is the non-kipping variety (it's hard to kip with weights attached). Pull-ups will also help separate the fat, strong souls who might coast through the other 3 exercises from the in-shape strong souls whom can handle all 4 exercises.

Execution: Pull-ups are pronated; pull yourself up so that your chin is above the bar, then lower yourself down. Go to full or near full extension. I'm not expecting dead stop pull-ups here but half reps don't count either. A little leg movement is fine but you shouldn't look like a flailing inchworm on the pull-up bar.

Curls: I'm sure some of you won't like the addition of curls to the workout, and curls certainly haven't gotten much love lately. Honestly, I don't understand it. I love curls. I loved curls when I was 15 and I still love them today. It's good that the pendulum has started to swing away from people just doing bench and bis 3 times a week like they did back in high school, but in my opinion it's swung way too far to the other side.

Curls are a great exercise for developing your arms and I'll say that using your biceps in relative isolation (elbow flexion) is one of the most functional things (I just said the F-word) that you can do. We do basic biceps curls and holds all day, like lifting something out of the trunk of your car, holding grocery bags or kids in your arms, and carrying the laundry up the stairs.

But whether you like curls or not doesn't really matter to me, the more important question is, how good are you at curls? If you suck at curls, then that's a signal that the compound movements that you thought were doing such a great job of hitting your biceps perhaps aren't doing what you intended.

Curls were also included to prove a point to the CrossFitters that you usually need to do some isolation stuff to get good at the isolation stuff. If you want to whine about including curls but you aren't good at curls (i.e. you can't get through the reps), then honestly I'm not interested in your opinion.

Please note that I'm not saying that curls alone make you strong. I'm saying that if you suck at curls, how can you consider yourself strong?

Execution: Form wise, I'm not expecting a strict curl so this doesn't have to be performed up against a wall, but it should still look like a curl. I call it a power curl where a little bit of swing is acceptable, but if you start leaning forward or backward more than 20 degrees in either direction, you're probably cheating too much.

Having said that, by the time you get to curls you'll be exhausted, so I'll be a little more forgiving on the form than if you were just doing a single set of curls.

One other thing to mention, most EZ curl bars are either 15 or 20 lbs (actually they're often 16 or 22 lbs because they're usually 7.5 or 10 kg), rarely the 25 lbs many people assume they are. Weigh yours if you're not sure. You can do this exercise with the straight bar if you prefer.

(It was suggested to me that dips might be a better exercise than a biceps curl, but I disagree. While that may stem from a long-term programming perspective, don't forget that this is a test of your strength, conditioning, and mental toughness. I like biceps curls here because they target a potential weak point, and doing curls after pull-ups and deadlifts is just extra brutal, which adds to the toughness of the workout).

For all of the exercises in this workout, feel free to use a belt and/or wrist wraps, and chalk is fine as well. No wrist straps, and no other gear like bench shirts, knee wraps, or anything like that are allowed.

Remember, you must finish one exercise completely before you start the next one. No super-setting is allowed.


My Own Experiences With Valeria
My goal is for TMUSCLE readers to give this workout a shot, but I couldn't suggest you perform this workout if I hadn't tried it myself.

Brutal sums it up nicely.

I forced myself to do a cool-down on the treadmill to bring my heart rate down (after lying on the ground for 2 minutes) and then just sat in a chair with my head down for 30 minutes before I even started to feel normal. At a bodyweight of 198, I did it in 14:36 with the Elite weights.

I felt confident I could do it in less than 20 minutes and had dreams of doing it in 12:30, but obviously Valeria had other plans for me. The fatigue built up quickly and the deadlifts and curls were harder than I expected, so I needed 3 sets to complete each one of them instead of 2. That added a minute to each one of those exercises, and is why I was 2 minutes over my ultimate goal.

I think anything under 10 minutes is exceptional, although there are likely some freaks out there that could do it in less than 5 minutes, which I'd consider to be world class.


Final Thoughts
Anyone else brave enough to test their strength and conditioning levels? Why not take a break from your program and give this workout a shot over the holiday? Please post your time in the discussions forum along with your bodyweight and the weights you used. (Note: any ass-kicking times performed with the Elite weights will require video verification.)

Can't (or never could) complete the Good level with the weight and reps suggested in under 30 minutes? Sorry, you're not a strength athlete, but keep training and you should be able to do that in a few months. (But please, until you can at least complete the Good level, go easy on dispensing strength-training advice, especially to non-beginners.)

Finding it too easy? Either move up a level or use the weights listed and/or bodyweight ratios provided, whichever gives you a higher number. The Elite level is what you're after if you want to consider yourself a bad ass. Once you hit the Elite level and the maximum weights, just try to go faster with the same weight.

Just so we're clear, my goal is for people to do this once. Hit it hard, post your time in the discussion thread and see how you measure up. Then, whenever your fitness/strength levels have improved enough that you think you can perform better (by following whatever program you choose like CrossFit, Sheiko, I Bodybuilder, powerlifting, total body, etc.), test it again.

Do NOT repeat this program weekly, even monthly. A couple times a year would be about right. This workout is intended to test your strength and conditioning, not develop it. If you find that in six months your Valeria performance has improved, then you're onto something. If your progress has stagnated or re-lapsed, it may be time to re-work your program so you don't waste another six months of lifting.

So many strength athletes punish themselves for years without ever knowing how well they match up. So if you a want a true challenge of strength and conditioning, give this a try. Valeria awaits.

[Kazuya Mishima]

Niggaz, I ain't even gonna lie.

If I was single, I'd get my cert and open up a CF box.

Couch Borat: "Ah, yes...my friend Coach Glassman...he tell me to open gym with a poosy magnet...is nice!"

[Jag Panzer]

glassman is winning.

unless you guys get serious, you lose.

glassman is a drunk. so what? glasstro are pilanderers. so what? glasstro dumped wolf and everett, and there was a little brouhaha, but in the end, so what? talent like rippetoe departs, and others happy to make a buck--tate, simmons--cheerfully sign on. caviston makes his attackers look laughable, but so what? the next gaymes are being planned, and assertions of phony drug testing last year are dismissed by sycophants as a bunch of so what.

glassman doesn't have to be right about his training program, he just has to be right about how to tap into the hopes of a small segment of the public and to give them a few examples of success to keep them coming. plus, genius, he has licked military balls: real soldiers do this in eye-rack, so you know its hard core.

jenny craig meets top gun, weight loss with attitude.

the naysayers need to fucking do something, instead of all this internet pukey. or just give it up and commit suicide by rhabdo.

nigga you act like this shit is worth anything but laffs

Glass-hole and his cult are like watching a soap in real-time.

[Jag Panzer]

Hmmmm. Like CrossFit but I will actually get you strong and keep you healthy.

Yeah, "like CrossFit to the stupid-asses that buy into the lame marketing shit but once you get to the gym it's actually nothing at all like CrossFit because we use intelligent programming and know how to teach good exercise form so you don't die"

If I get around to opening a box in the next year or two, that's exactly the strategy I'm going to use. "Better at CrossFit than CrossFit".

[The Nightman]

Gl@ssman is the Bill Gates of fitness, makes you think he's your partner then just steal your shit and calls it his own.

This is a great point. Gates was a genious at marketing and spin and couch is the same. There have been many examples of products which have been significantly better than what Microsoft has put out (Apple is a great example). Yet somehow, the Microsoft Marketing Machine wins. Couch is not stupid, and as long as he continues to do as he does (censor, eliminate enemies, etc), He will win. Even if he were to walk away today, there is no doubt he would pocket millions.

The question is, how does he and his evil empire get taken down. I am leaning toward the federal government and the differentiation between affiliation and franchising. Just need to figure out how to move this process along faster.

But, remember it wasn't that Gates had a superior product, it was the licensing of the operating system to NEC, Acer, IBM, HP, etc. that put him on top.

Where @fit, Inc. rake in the cash? The licensing of the trademark.

There's a line in that movie at the end where Jobs and Gates are face to face and Jobs says, "Your system isn't as good." Gates replies, "It doesn't matter."

If @fit is everywhere because of the licensing, it doesn't matter if it's good or not. If it's what everyone is doing it becomes the "best" by default.

[powerlifter54]

From T-Nation/muscle whateverthehellitis -- VALERIA

Considering I'm a powerlifter by trade, you might assume that I don't like CrossFit, but that's actually not the case.

I like CrossFit, or at least I like aspects of it. Like many strength trainers who've given the CrossFit system an honest shot over the years, I think it has a lot of positive attributes to offer the fitness community. But it also has a number of significant negatives that due to my powerlifter roots prevents me from blindly endorsing the infamous Glassman Kool-Aid.

So what do I like about it?

I like how it gets people to work hard, which is probably the main element lacking in most recreational lifter's programs. It doesn't just sneak hard work into the workout; it slaps you in the face with it from the get-go. As a coach, I like and respect that.

I like how the entire workout is often timed. One way CrossFit attempts to separate the very fit from the not-so-fit is by tracking how long the workout takes to complete rather than just focusing on simple load or rep progression. That's an interesting and enlightening way of doing things. More on this later.

I like how the system focuses on big, compound lifts. I give tall props to CrossFit for re-introducing the "scary" Olympic lifts like the snatch and power clean back into the recreational lifter's exercise repertoire while deep-sixing the pink dumbbell triceps kickbacks.

I like how CrossFit trains all of the energy systems, which is another thing lacking in many lifters' programs and is great for improving overall fitness and reducing bodyfat.

And finally, I like how everyone can do the same workout so that each lifter can compare themselves to one another. This promotes competition, which is widely regarded to be a major factor in increasing motivation and performance. As a competitive guy myself, it's fun to do a workout and then log in and see where you stand and what times other people are doing. It's nice for the ego when you do well; it's humbling and motivating when you don't.

But as stated in my introduction, CrossFit has a number of weaknesses I just can't get past. The programming is a little haphazard for my taste. Sometimes there is too much load on the shoulder girdle, the knees, and the lower back. It may be okay when you're lifting lighter weights, but ask anyone who can push some serious poundage and they'll tell you that as you get stronger, recovery becomes more of an issue.

Along similar lines, although I like the Olympic lifts a lot, for many lifters that are too old, too inflexible, too big, or perhaps a bit of all of the above, it may not be worth it (or even feasible) to learn how to do things like cleans and overhead squats effectively enough to get a productive training stimulus.

I also think the workouts are a little too intense. I know that may make me sound like a pansy, but once you're skilled at the things you're trying to do, you can take yourself to pure exhaustion relatively easily. Sometimes that's a good thing, but doing energy system work at or near failure 1-3 days a week, combined with heavy lifting 1-3 days a week, is rough to do long term if you have a reasonable level of experience.

And finally, while I like the idea of emphasizing the compound lifts, the idea of doing no isolation exercises at all if you're trying to shape your body or improve weak points is a flaw to me. Call me a meathead bodybuilder, but no forearms (no arms at all for that matter), no knee flexion, etc. is not a positive programming note in my mind.


Introducing the Ultimate Test of Strength and Conditioning
Although the CrossFit system has too many limitations for me to endorse it as stand-alone system, there are too many good things about it for me to abandon it entirely. In particular, I've become a fan of the timed-workout approach, but in a specific application. It's not something I'd use day-to-day to train or develop strength, but it's fantastic for the establishment of training benchmarks, something sorely missing in many strength and conditioning programs.

CrossFitters constantly chew up bandwidth by challenging one another to beat their best Fran time, as it's one of the benchmark workouts that many CrossFitters use to measure themselves by. As strength and conditioning enthusiasts, what would our benchmark be? The old school football standard of a 225lb bench press repetition test? What if you can't bench 225? What if you weigh 400lbs and can bench 225lbs 56 times but can't walk around the block without wheezing? I think we can do better.

So my idea was this: come up with a good, solid CrossFit-style benchmark workout, but geared toward strength athletes, that you could do in almost any gym (no special equipment required). The weights would be heavy enough to challenge even strong folks, but light enough so that almost any lifter could at least get through it, albeit at a slower pace.

CrossFit has their 'Fran', well now we have our 'Valeria'.

Here is the workout: simple, brutal, and if you're perverse enough in the head, fun.

Valeria - Workout for Time (Elite Level):
Bench Press: 275 x 21 reps
Deadlift: 405 x 21 reps
Pull-ups: +50 lbs x 21 reps
EZ Bar Curls: 135 x 21 reps

There are other levels of intensity listed below.

In this workout, you perform all the reps of one exercise before moving on to the next exercise. You can rest whenever necessary for as long as necessary, but the goal is to do the total workout in as short a time as possible.

Another thing I like about CrossFit workouts is that they're scalable. The Elite level is designed to be very challenging, so listed below are 3 different levels for both men and women that you might work up to as you progress. These levels also account for bodyweight. Remember though, this is written for strength athletes, so the expectations of what you can lift will be reasonably high.

Men (220 lbs)

Good (<30:00) Level 1 Very Good (<30:00) Level 2 Elite (<30:00) Level 3
Bench 185 or .8xBW 225 or BW 275 or 1.25xBW
Deadlift 315 or 1.5xBW 365 or 1.75xBW 405 or 2xBW
Pull-ups BW BW + 25 lbs (x.125BW) BW + 50 lbs (x.25BW)
EZ Curls 85 or .4xBW 110 or .5xBW 135 or .6xBW

Women (135 lbs)

Good (<30:00) Level 1 Very Good (<30:00) Level 2 Elite (<30:00) Level 3
Bench 75 or .5xBW 105 or .75xBW 135 or BW
Deadlift 135 or BW 185 or 1.5xBW 225 or 2xBW
Pull-ups 5 15 21
EZ Curls 45 or .3xBW 55 or .4xBW 65 or .5xBW

Remember, you're to do 21 reps of bench, 21 deadlifts, 21 pull-ups, and 21 curls.

A note about the exercises: I chose these exercise for a number of reasons—they cover the majority of the body, they can highlight different weak points a person might have, and minus the curls they're big, compound lifts that most people know how to do with little instruction.

The Bench Press: I chose the bench press because most CrossFitters don't like the bench press. I can respect the idea of the bench press getting too much publicity and liking the shoulder press more, but simply not doing the bench press is a flaw in my opinion. It hits more muscles, improves push-ups and dip performance more, and it's arguably the most popular exercise in the world.

I've seen way too many CrossFitters with a crappy bench fail to make progress in the bench because CrossFit workouts rarely include the bench press. I can see not over emphasizing it, but I can't see basically ignoring it.

Execution: Pretty self explanatory, but just to be clear- bring the bar down to your chest, lightly touch your chest, and then press back up to full or near full extension. That's one rep.

The Deadlift: In this workout, the deadlift reps do not have to be dead stop reps, but they're not loud, bounce reps either. Lightly touch the ground and come back up. I imagine CrossFitters and non-CrossFitters alike will agree on how cool and beneficial the deadlift is.

Execution: Again, pretty self-explanatory: load up the bar, pick it up (whatever style you prefer) to lockout, lower the bar, touch the ground, and do it again.

Pull-ups: Another CrossFit classic, although this is the non-kipping variety (it's hard to kip with weights attached). Pull-ups will also help separate the fat, strong souls who might coast through the other 3 exercises from the in-shape strong souls whom can handle all 4 exercises.

Execution: Pull-ups are pronated; pull yourself up so that your chin is above the bar, then lower yourself down. Go to full or near full extension. I'm not expecting dead stop pull-ups here but half reps don't count either. A little leg movement is fine but you shouldn't look like a flailing inchworm on the pull-up bar.

Curls: I'm sure some of you won't like the addition of curls to the workout, and curls certainly haven't gotten much love lately. Honestly, I don't understand it. I love curls. I loved curls when I was 15 and I still love them today. It's good that the pendulum has started to swing away from people just doing bench and bis 3 times a week like they did back in high school, but in my opinion it's swung way too far to the other side.

Curls are a great exercise for developing your arms and I'll say that using your biceps in relative isolation (elbow flexion) is one of the most functional things (I just said the F-word) that you can do. We do basic biceps curls and holds all day, like lifting something out of the trunk of your car, holding grocery bags or kids in your arms, and carrying the laundry up the stairs.

But whether you like curls or not doesn't really matter to me, the more important question is, how good are you at curls? If you suck at curls, then that's a signal that the compound movements that you thought were doing such a great job of hitting your biceps perhaps aren't doing what you intended.

Curls were also included to prove a point to the CrossFitters that you usually need to do some isolation stuff to get good at the isolation stuff. If you want to whine about including curls but you aren't good at curls (i.e. you can't get through the reps), then honestly I'm not interested in your opinion.

Please note that I'm not saying that curls alone make you strong. I'm saying that if you suck at curls, how can you consider yourself strong?

Execution: Form wise, I'm not expecting a strict curl so this doesn't have to be performed up against a wall, but it should still look like a curl. I call it a power curl where a little bit of swing is acceptable, but if you start leaning forward or backward more than 20 degrees in either direction, you're probably cheating too much.

Having said that, by the time you get to curls you'll be exhausted, so I'll be a little more forgiving on the form than if you were just doing a single set of curls.

One other thing to mention, most EZ curl bars are either 15 or 20 lbs (actually they're often 16 or 22 lbs because they're usually 7.5 or 10 kg), rarely the 25 lbs many people assume they are. Weigh yours if you're not sure. You can do this exercise with the straight bar if you prefer.

(It was suggested to me that dips might be a better exercise than a biceps curl, but I disagree. While that may stem from a long-term programming perspective, don't forget that this is a test of your strength, conditioning, and mental toughness. I like biceps curls here because they target a potential weak point, and doing curls after pull-ups and deadlifts is just extra brutal, which adds to the toughness of the workout).

For all of the exercises in this workout, feel free to use a belt and/or wrist wraps, and chalk is fine as well. No wrist straps, and no other gear like bench shirts, knee wraps, or anything like that are allowed.

Remember, you must finish one exercise completely before you start the next one. No super-setting is allowed.


My Own Experiences With Valeria
My goal is for TMUSCLE readers to give this workout a shot, but I couldn't suggest you perform this workout if I hadn't tried it myself.

Brutal sums it up nicely.

I forced myself to do a cool-down on the treadmill to bring my heart rate down (after lying on the ground for 2 minutes) and then just sat in a chair with my head down for 30 minutes before I even started to feel normal. At a bodyweight of 198, I did it in 14:36 with the Elite weights.

I felt confident I could do it in less than 20 minutes and had dreams of doing it in 12:30, but obviously Valeria had other plans for me. The fatigue built up quickly and the deadlifts and curls were harder than I expected, so I needed 3 sets to complete each one of them instead of 2. That added a minute to each one of those exercises, and is why I was 2 minutes over my ultimate goal.

I think anything under 10 minutes is exceptional, although there are likely some freaks out there that could do it in less than 5 minutes, which I'd consider to be world class.


Final Thoughts
Anyone else brave enough to test their strength and conditioning levels? Why not take a break from your program and give this workout a shot over the holiday? Please post your time in the discussions forum along with your bodyweight and the weights you used. (Note: any ass-kicking times performed with the Elite weights will require video verification.)

Can't (or never could) complete the Good level with the weight and reps suggested in under 30 minutes? Sorry, you're not a strength athlete, but keep training and you should be able to do that in a few months. (But please, until you can at least complete the Good level, go easy on dispensing strength-training advice, especially to non-beginners.)

Finding it too easy? Either move up a level or use the weights listed and/or bodyweight ratios provided, whichever gives you a higher number. The Elite level is what you're after if you want to consider yourself a bad ass. Once you hit the Elite level and the maximum weights, just try to go faster with the same weight.

Just so we're clear, my goal is for people to do this once. Hit it hard, post your time in the discussion thread and see how you measure up. Then, whenever your fitness/strength levels have improved enough that you think you can perform better (by following whatever program you choose like CrossFit, Sheiko, I Bodybuilder, powerlifting, total body, etc.), test it again.

Do NOT repeat this program weekly, even monthly. A couple times a year would be about right. This workout is intended to test your strength and conditioning, not develop it. If you find that in six months your Valeria performance has improved, then you're onto something. If your progress has stagnated or re-lapsed, it may be time to re-work your program so you don't waste another six months of lifting.

So many strength athletes punish themselves for years without ever knowing how well they match up. So if you a want a true challenge of strength and conditioning, give this a try. Valeria awaits.

i may do this for a challenge and as added fuel for taunting the borg. If it was me i would drop either the curls or the pullups. Too much bicep when also pulling some rep deadlifts.

Perhaps a good IGx manhood challenge?

[Gary John]

We make fun of the x-fitters and fuck with Glasshole. This isn't a cause, its a hobby.

We are laughing at the assholes who read our shit, as we fuck with them. Golden.

[T200]

i may do this for a challenge and as added fuel for taunting the borg. If it was me i would drop either the curls or the pullups. Too much bicep when also pulling some rep deadlifts.

Perhaps a good IGx manhood challenge?

If I did that shit my elbows would be fried for 3 months. BB curls are not friendly to me.

Thus like most T-Bag articles I proclaim it to be gay as shit. Plus, most of what the nigger likes about @Fit is stupid in the first place. Fuck him and this test.

[T200]

Louie teaching the box squat...I think he has this faggot at the point of failure: http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/l ... rt2_b.html

[Botototo]

I would piss in public to learn box squats from Louie.

[rjudo]

Louie teaching the box squat...I think he has this faggot at the point of failure: http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/l ... rt2_b.html

Hell yeah, he's blown past the pvc and into huge pr territory.

[T200]

Androgen Division at the Gaymes video: http://library.crossfit.com/free/video/ ... ouplet.mp4

[powerlifter54]

I would piss in public to learn box squats from Louie.

i have talked with him extensively on phone and in person about this.

Not hard to concepts. Just hard to get people to do it because once they get bar on back they revert to dumbassity.

Start with above parallel box.
Good symmetrical setup.
Harden your abs and lats. Knees locked.
Start by pushing your ass backwards toward box like you are sitting down on shitter. Break your hips after ass moves back, THEN break your knees.
Sit back into hams and glutes feeling the loading on your posterior chain.
Hard arc of lower and upper back.
Try to keep elbows underbar, not up behind it. Use false grip.
Keep knees out over feet all the time until locked back out.
Gently sit down on box. Slow descent as you get to box. Do not plop down.
Do not rock backward, just relax hips and legs then rise off box by driving traps into bar NOT feet into floor. Accelerate the bar as you rise.
Start lowering the height of the box as desired when you start feeling groove.

Good luck

jmo

[Botototo]

Thanks, good stuff PL. I've box squatted but I always feel like I'm on a somewhat different page from Louie et al. Squatting with the feet pointed forward and "leg curling" out of the bottom are two of the pieces he's talked about that I've never been able to get my head around.

[Mickey O'neil]

Hmmmm. Like CrossFit but I will actually get you strong and keep you healthy.

Yeah, "like CrossFit to the stupid-asses that buy into the lame marketing shit but once you get to the gym it's actually nothing at all like CrossFit because we use intelligent programming and know how to teach good exercise form so you don't die"

If I get around to opening a box in the next year or two, that's exactly the strategy I'm going to use. "Better at CrossFit than CrossFit".

Yeah, something like this.

[powerlifter54]

Thanks, good stuff PL. I've box squatted but I always feel like I'm on a somewhat different page from Louie et al. Squatting with the feet pointed forward and "leg curling" out of the bottom are two of the pieces he's talked about that I've never been able to get my head around.

Feet pointing forward is ideal but rarely done by most. i think the "GM off the box" is the best cue. Try it.

[T200]

Globo Gym thread faggots disgusting me with tales of shit they find wrong:


Box jump avatar, 6'/175, kipping faggot says:

Re: Seen at the globo yesterday

More of a "Overheard at the Globo"

I was working on the 12 days of Crossfit (go thru this just like the song)

1 Burpee
2 Handstand Pushups
3 Deadlifts 225#
4 Box Jumps 24#
5 Thrusters 95#
6 KB Swings 55#
7 Pushups
8 Pullups
9 Clean and Jerks 95/65
10 Walking Lunges
11 Wall-balls 20/14
12 Power Snatches 95/65


On round 8, a kid home from break (looked to be either a college athlete or ROTC) recognized the kips in my pullups and asked "Crossfit?". He was with some buddies and we were sharing the pullup bar. I replied yes and showed him the slip of paper with the WOD listed. He egged his buddies on, who were struggling with the PUs, to do the WOD. No takers. I went on with my workout. As they were walking away I overheard him say to his friends, "That's Badass".


Being an "old guy" I thought that was pretty cool.

Ring dip avatar, 6'4" 200, kipping faggot says:

Re: Seen at the globo yesterday

While doing Cindy, a group of five people decide to use the cable thingy to do overhead tricep extensions which is right next the the pull up bar that im using, (if you go to a 24hr fitness, then you should know what im talking about) extending their arms right where my legs are going while kipping. i had already been going for 5 minutes before they got there so its not like they didnt see what exactly i was doing. absolutely no sense of their surroundings or common courtesy.

anyways, im just venting.

P.S.-i know my puntuation and grammar suck. its cuz im irritated.

This next one is so stupid I can picture Will Ferrell saying it. And his avatar is this retarded interpretation of the farmer's walk:

Re: Seen at the globo yesterday

Not at the gym but at my house during Christmas which is where my gym is.

My Mom (who's not that old and perfectly able bodied): Doesn't your back get sore when holding your baby?
Me: No, it doesn't.
Mom: It Doesn't at all?
Me: No. I can clean a couple hundred pounds off the floor so holding 15lbs isn't really a big deal.
Mom: Oh, well, you can do that stuff because your young.
Me: I was younger a few years ago and I couldn't do it.
Mom: I mean your strong because you're young.
Me: No. I'm not strong because I'm Young, I'm strong because I workout. Plenty of people are young and can't lift a thing.
Mom: You know what I mean.

Me in my head: Yes, I know what you mean. You imagine you are too old and too female to do any sort of lifting or be expected to be strong. And it takes hard work to get strong and be able to do things for yourself. But you've been young before and even then you wouldn't even try any significant physical activity. So keep going to the gym 1 time per month walking on the treadmill and rewarding yourself with sweets and wondering why the pounds don't magically fall off.

Don't listen to me because what do I know. I just lost 25 pounds of bodyweight and increased my strength signficiantly. I spend a few short minutes a day working out, learning new skills, improving myself, and attempting to help others do the same. Sit on your butt and watch Oprah instead because until Dr. Oz tells you to do it and unless it doesn't require any extra physical effort you won't listen to me.

Note to self and the world...If you can't remember the last time your legs moved at more than a walking pace then get your moving immediately.

Sorry, just venting.

5'6"/140/age 15 says:

Re: Seen at the globo yesterday

Today one of the trainers at my globo scoffed at me. I was wearing a crossfit shirt and when unracking my barbell from deadlifting he walked by and said "pff crossfit" and just walked away... Also saw someone BENCH PRESSING on the smith machine with 2 45s per side with a spotter....

5'8"/150/15% BF says:

Re: Seen at the globo yesterday

a while back I was doing push presses and in the mirror I could these guys behind me looking at and kinda snickering to each other as if they were saying,

"Look at that guy, he's hella cheating on his shoulder presses by using all that momentum....... isn't that the same guy that uses way too much momentum on his reverse curls? So much so that he doesn't even curl it.. the bar just goes straight up and he kinda catches it... and like an idiot, he puts the bar down in between each rep... GEEZ, someone should really tell this guy how to work out.

ok but enough about him.. let's get back to our workout.... today is trap/calf/forearm day and tomorrow we'll be working on rear delts and hamstrings."

Maybe if he wasn't cleaning reverse curl weight this would not be an issue.

[POD]

Globo Gym thread faggots disgusting me with tales of shit they find wrong:

Re: Seen at the globo yesterday
Me in my head: Yes, I know what you mean. You imagine you are too old and too female to do any sort of lifting or be expected to be strong. And it takes hard work to get strong and be able to do things for yourself. But you've been young before and even then you wouldn't even try any significant physical activity. So keep going to the gym 1 time per month walking on the treadmill and rewarding yourself with sweets and wondering why the pounds don't magically fall off.

"Too female?" Bah, CrossFitters have ways of fixing that!

[Jag Panzer]

The way @ssFit teaches you to catch a clean it's no wonder the good bros at the gym think it's a reverse curl.

[Botototo]

[quote="5'6"/140/age 15 says:"]I was wearing a crossfit shirt and when unracking my barbell from deadlifting[/quote]

[T200]

I was wearing a crossfit shirt and when unracking my barbell from deadlifting

I don't think I said that.

[Botototo]

Fine, edited, Professor.

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

Louie teaching the box squat...I think he has this faggot at the point of failure: http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/l ... rt2_b.html

Thats Jeff Martin, self imprtant dickhead from @ssfit Kids.
Don't call him out. Certain niggers on here say he's a "nice guy".
What a fucking load.

[Skinny]

So this Glassman guy earns shitloads of money being notoriously drunk and having unlimited supply of crazy or crazy/hot bitches?
Looks like he’s doing it right.