The couch thread

[Holeyfraggaroley]

Thats right, I have a calibrated eye for such things.

[Sofa King]

My hate tank has run dry. I find myself not giving two fucks about the nonsense these people get in to-same stories, same Barky, same Renee, same drunk Couch, same people getting ripped off at the games, same $45 t-shirts.

Anything new under the @fit sun? I've tuned out.

Ditto.

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

Agreed...this whole thing has gotten extremely lame and unfunny.
Go fuck yourselves, one and all.

[WildGorillaMan]

Every time you guys express your ennui, something hilariously dramatic happens in @FHQ land before the week is out.

[sanchezero]

all the more reason for people to bitch.

[Sofa King]

Your lips to god's ears, Monkeyman. Chances are the @fit cognoscenti are closing ranks before the Gaymes.

[CultBuster]

The only things I have heard lately is that the couch circled the wagons and the message went out that dissent will not be tolerated. Wolf published his book, but most take a hit when dropping the couch fit title and most people don't want to make less money. When the press and alcohol come around with the gaymes you will have 1) couch in public with Lugo, barkey and EVERYONE else 2) booze 3) cash money. People who paid $50 to watch will start counting heads and bitch

Couch has gotten serious, he laid the smack down in Va Beach to those unhappy with the new gym love it or leave it bitches

saw this on GJ site and it looks like he stole his affiliate program from da couch also. Isn't this how you becoem a @fit affiliate?

IV - Gym Jones Full Affiliate
This is as close an orbit as any satellite of Gym Jones may fly.

Don't make the simple mistake of believing that this is a linear path to an "arrival" point. No one of worth ever truly "arrives." Many will progress through the certification process up until this point but a very select few will be granted affiliate status.

•Course prerequisite: Third Degree Instructor Certification / full applicant package / proof of training hours (logs, specific data) / interview with Mark. This is a strict, full-selection process. Once again as stated above not many will be accepted. You must earn your way in.
•If accepted, applicant must intern at the gym for a total period of ONE MONTH (may be broken up into four separate weeks if necessary) after which a complete test is administered to finalize certification.
•Cost to be determined.
•The privilege of the "Gym Jones Affiliate" title requires yearly check-ups and performance appraisals under strict penalty of indefinite affiliate status revocation.
To sign up for certification click the link below:

[Sofa King]

Someone needs to twell Twight that IT'S FUCKING EXERCISE.

Not the secrets of the Shroud of Turin revealed in $1,000 increments.

[Shapecharge]

Ain't that right Sofa King. Can't get down on a brother for trying to make some cash but this guy really works the special hero shit a bit too much. He could dial it back a bit.

Contrast this GJ bullshit with this: http://www.wildcardbc.com/content_gym.shtml 50 buck a month and you just might run into one of the best trainers in the world plus a world champ or two.

[friedquads]

Ain't that right Sofa King. Can't get down on a brother for trying to make some cash but this guy really works the special hero shit a bit too much. He could dial it back a bit.

Or he could go really nuts and copy OPT's certification model. That thing has more levels than Scientology.

[Mountebank]

Something is bubbling to the surface, I'd say...a FB update:

OK, lemme get this straight, RRg to protect us or you? Then 2.5X increase in insurance cost? I'm thinkin fuck you!

Anyone else have any info?

[Holland Oates]

Something is bubbling to the surface, I'd say...a FB update:

OK, lemme get this straight, RRg to protect us or you? Then 2.5X increase in insurance cost? I'm thinkin fuck you!

Anyone else have any info?

Bwahahaha

That is fucking great.

[Hank Scorpio]

Syaigh, just post a pic. Help this thread die.

It sucks.

[___________]

Something is bubbling to the surface, I'd say...a FB update:

OK, lemme get this straight, RRg to protect us or you? Then 2.5X increase in insurance cost? I'm thinkin fuck you!

Anyone else have any info?

Bwahahaha

That is fucking great.

RRG is the greatest scam EVA!

[Freki]

It almost seems innocent:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/fitn ... 5435.story

[powerlifter54]

It almost seems innocent:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/fitn ... 5435.story

...There is a sign hanging where members have written their Crossfit "mantras": "Embrace exhaustion." "Integrity B 4 intensity." "We are all beginners. "Earn your scabs."

The scabs thing makes more sense after seeing a workout...

Yikes. These people must be stopped. This thread is the philosphical epicenter of all @fit opposition and must live on.

[WildGorillaMan]

We really seem to be bubbling towards an honest-to-God classical dramatic tragedy. Its obviousness hit me so hard the other day I don't know why I didn't see it before.

Consider:

Greek Tragedy: A kingdom forged by charisma, indomitable will and bloodshed, now teeters on the brink of ruin as a result of the king's personal hubris and mortal imperfections, not to mention being betrayed by his queen. The Chorus, whose job it is to tell the audience what's happened, what's happening, and what's going to happen next are the legions of @fitters, ex-@fitters, igx'ers, and all-around drama queens who sing out all the breaking developments from forums, comments sections, and personal blogs.

Shakespearean Tragedy: All of the above (since Shakespeare was a gifted plagiarist, although that's not what we mean today by "loving Greek style"), plus the addition of underhanded, scheming advisors to the crown, a lot more bloodshed and betrayal, and instead of the Chorus, we've got an absolute riot of secondary characters, some noble, some buffoonish, some sympathetic, some loathsome, whose job it is to advance the main plot, create secondary plots to keep the audience riveted, and provide comic relief.

I think we all know how this is going to end.

[SAR]

godfuckingdammit! All this time I thought sharibaby and dirt diva were the same person. I gotta pay better attention to this shit.
(or not)

[Shapecharge]

I think it would be better for you to concentrate on which kidney needs to be removed or which foot needs something done to it instead of the Sharibaby/Dirt Diva id situation. I can see you now in the operating room with your hands in the air asking which arm has to come off and the nurse tells you the left one and you're all like...wait, my left? the patient's left? What am I doing again?

[powerlifter54]

We really seem to be bubbling towards an honest-to-God classical dramatic tragedy. Its obviousness hit me so hard the other day I don't know why I didn't see it before.


Shakespearean Tragedy: All of the above (since Shakespeare was a gifted plagiarist, although that's not what we mean today by "loving Greek style"), plus the addition of underhanded, scheming advisors to the crown, a lot more bloodshed and betrayal, and instead of the Chorus, we've got an absolute riot of secondary characters, some noble, some buffoonish, some sympathetic, some loathsome, whose job it is to advance the main plot, create secondary plots to keep the audience riveted, and provide comic relief.

I think we all know how this is going to end.

True knowledge WGM.

Consider:

I have almost forgot the taste of fears;
The time has been, my senses would have cool'd
To hear a night-shriek; and my fell of hair
Would at a dismal treatise rouse and stir
As life were in't: I have supp'd full with horrors;
Direness, familiar to my slaughterous thoughts
Cannot once start me.

Macbeth or Couch?

or consider

Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts! unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe, top-full
Of direst cruelty; make thick my blood,
Stop up the access and passage to remorse,
That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between
The effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
And take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers,
Wherever in your sightless substances
You wait on nature's mischief!

Mrs Couch or Lady Macbeth?

[dead man walking]

shakespeare meets x-fit--yorick is turning in his grave

[Sofa King]

It almost seems innocent:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/fitn ... 5435.story

...There is a sign hanging where members have written their Crossfit "mantras": "Embrace exhaustion." "Integrity B 4 intensity." "We are all beginners. "Earn your scabs."

The scabs thing makes more sense after seeing a workout...

Yikes. These people must be stopped. This thread is the philosphical epicenter of all @fit opposition and must live on.

I believe "Earn your scabs" applies more to the healing nature of certain viral infections than it does their "workouts."

[syaigh]

shakespeare meets x-fit--yorick is turning in his grave

I think we should have a couch thread poetry contest. Iambic pentameter, haiku, sonnets, whatever your fancy. I think this could be glorious.

[SAR]

I think it would be better for you to concentrate on which kidney needs to be removed or which foot needs something done to it instead of the Sharibaby/Dirt Diva id situation. I can see you now in the operating room with your hands in the air asking which arm has to come off and the nurse tells you the left one and you're all like...wait, my left? the patient's left? What am I doing again?

it's like you were there....

[WildGorillaMan]

shakespeare meets x-fit--yorick is turning in his grave

I think we should have a couch thread poetry contest. Iambic pentameter, haiku, sonnets, whatever your fancy. I think this could be glorious.

A tatoo covers
each broken heart. She told him
Thirteen miles is weak