The couch thread

[TerryB]

WGM: got any of those shots without shorts?

[ThespianDouche]

If you can fight 20 sunfish at once with heart rate of 170 bpm, then perhaps fighting a great white is managable.

But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from arm floaties in the shallow end to an Olympic freestyle champion in two years while only swimming 210m four or five times a year.

[Dan Martin]

I wonder if those that fail the swim test will be refunded?

[Yes I Have Balls]

Event 2
Max L-Sit Hold
Max Distance Softball Throw (2 Attempts)
Max Handstand Walk (1 Mulligan if 1st attempt is less than 5 yards)

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Whoa! I used to do softball throwing test in elementary school! YOU MEAN I WAS DOING CROSSFIT WAY BACK THEN?

Lulz @ a complete specialist event.

[JohnnyBadAss]

Event 2
Max L-Sit Hold
Max Distance Softball Throw (2 Attempts)
Max Handstand Walk (1 Mulligan if 1st attempt is less than 5 yards)

Smart move not to use a shotput like the rest of the world uses to judge throwing power...that would give people a benchmark to see just how weak @Fers are.

[ThespianDouche]

Just use a non standard shot put.

[friedquads]

Just use a non standard shot put.

Exactly what I was thinking! =D> =D> =D>

[ThespianDouche]

Instead of throwing it for distance, it would be the time to throw it 150 meters. Throw, run to it, throw it again.

[Holland Oates]

The softball throw? Are you shitting me?! Holy gorilla jeebus. What's next? The shoe kick, the 3 legged race, the sack race? Is this a grade school track meet?

[WildGorillaMan]

Event 2
Max L-Sit Hold
Max Distance Softball Throw (2 Attempts)
Max Handstand Walk (1 Mulligan if 1st attempt is less than 5 yards)

You're making that up. That can't be real.

[WildGorillaMan]

https://www.facebook.com/notes/the-cros ... 4080711791

HOLY FUCKBALLS! IT'S REAL!

After a morning site visit, ocean inspection, and quick swim in preparation for Event 1, the athletes returned to the Home Depot Center for lunch and a briefing on upcoming events in the Stadium.
While sitting in the stands, the athletes learned Events 2 and 5 for the individual competition. Both are 3-part skills tests.

Individual Event 2 is:
Skills 1
Max L-sit for time (1 attempt)
Max distance softball throw (2 attempts)
Max distance handstand walk (1 attempt with 1 mulligan if less than 5 yards)
Athletes will be scored for this event in the same system as the Regional scoring. And they will be ranked in each test with the sum of their 3 rankings determining their final score for the event. Low score wins and will receive the identical points as the other events.

Individual Event 5 is:

Skills 2
1 rep max weighted chest-to-bar pull-up for load
1 rep max snatch for load
Jug carry for distance in 60 seconds
Each athlete has 2 minutes to establish a 1 rep max chest-to-bar pull-ups, 2 minutes to establish a 1 rep max snatch, and then will have 60 seconds to carry 2 weighted water jugs, as far as possible.
Athletes will be ranked in each test with the sum of their 3 rankings, determining their final score for the event.
Athletes are now on their way to the Track to review the standards of these events.

[WildGorillaMan]

Max 1rm chinup followed by a snatch 1rm. what could possibly go wrong?

[fatbastard]

I just can't stop laughing my gorilla ass off at this.

[tough old man]

I wonder if those that fail the swim test will be refunded?

Brings back boot camp memories of watching the brothers almost drown in the shallow end.

[TerryB]

I'd bet a dollar to a doughnut some d-bags are comparing the weight of a softball to the weight of a grenade to justify this event.

Also, when was the last time ANYONE, including LEO, SpecOps, gymNASTS, had to walk on their hands for max time and distance? Was there some rare firefight in Falluja where a now-famous Sergeant handstand walked his way out of an alley full of insurgents?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Played rugby with a guy in the USMC. He said his sole job when they jumped out of the helicopters into the ocean to swim in was to collect all the brothers, who had extra floatation devices, loop a strap onto their gear, and tow them in.

The inner city and the sea: It's not pretty when they meet.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Played rugby with a guy in the USMC. He said his sole job when they jumped out of the helicopters into the ocean to swim in was to collect all the brothers, who had extra floatation devices, loop a strap onto their gear, and tow them in.

The inner city and the sea: It's not pretty when they meet.

Thankfully, there are very few brothers that @fit. Certainly, none of them would be allowed to podium.

[ThespianDouche]

I think max push ups (either for weight or reps) followed by snatch would be better. It's damn hard to catch a snatch after chest work.

[Jay]

A fucking softball throw?

Really?

Where's the Kickball WOD?

This is a bigger parody than we could ever do.

[ThespianDouche]

Three legged farmer carries
medicine ball kick for distance
Sand castle building for height
Tactical sack races

[Jay]

Three legged farmer carries
medicine ball kick for distance
Sand castle building for height
Tactical sack races

Next year:

5 rounds
400m run
loogie for distance

[WildGorillaMan]

You guys are being dicks about this. The softball toss is just the shotput event, scaled.

[Dan Martin]

I'm predicting some serious shoulder/elbow blow-outs because of the softball toss.

[TerryB]

It stands to reason that if you can do 50 glute-ham raise situps + 50 kipping pullups for time, you can throw a softball very far after only throwing a softball 3-4 times a year.