The couch thread

[GoDogGo!]

These people are now fucking quoting him like its scripture...

Oh, shit. I just realized where I've seen Cooch before.



He shows up around 0:30 and makes with the usual promises and threats.

[RPC]

Front page scripture of the day! Read it my young sheeples:

"Those who do not recognize the physiological import of CrossFit - unprecedented increases in work capacity across broad time and modal domains - are left with no rational explanation of CrossFit's popularity and reach. For these people I am typically seen as a marketing savant whose marketing strategies curiously won't replicate. It's like a blind guy wondering why everyone hangs out under lights at night." - Greg Glassman

It's got nothing to do with marketing or money you fools! Its increases in work capacity across broad time and modal domains!!!!!

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Hahahhahah.

[___________]

Drunks often have "special" views of their place in the world.

[Batboy2/75]

Drunks often have "special" views of their place in the world.

Not to mention one mean Napoleon & Failed artist complex.

[RPC]

I snagged this off the comments before it was "cleaned":

Unprecedented: never happened before.

People who do Crossfit are Gods, the elite, the chosen. Time spent under the bar is not important! Time spent on the field is irrelevant! Join the Crossfit Community, become the elite, holy brethren, and be the New SuperMan! Halleujah!

Comment #104 - Posted by: Steve Buchanan at June 21, 2008 7:24 AM

By the way, how is the money drive coming for buying custom made bicycles for the Glassmans? Donations being sought from affiliates to buy these bikes that will be presented to them at the games? How's it going?

Comment #105 - Posted by: Steve Buchanon at June 21, 2008 7:27 AM

[Crust Bucket]

Men with limps sure act and think funny

[powerlifter54]

Front page scripture of the day! Read it my young sheeples:

"Those who do not recognize the physiological import of CrossFit - unprecedented increases in work capacity across broad time and modal domains - are left with no rational explanation of CrossFit's popularity and reach. For these people I am typically seen as a marketing savant whose marketing strategies curiously won't replicate. It's like a blind guy wondering why everyone hangs out under lights at night." - Greg Glassman

It's got nothing to do with marketing or money you fools! Its increases in work capacity across broad time and modal domains!!!!!

So did slavery... So the measure of effectiveness is what activity, when done in conjunction with Vitamin S, gives both sexes a tranny/boy band with a weightroom look?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Jason is a great one for quotes. I missed him at the Ann Arbor cert by about 15 minutes, Pierre told me.

[Jason]

Shaf,

What are you talking about ? I'm not invloved with this thread at all.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

I was talking about PL54's JCB quote.

[Jason]

That's not a qoute. That's something that some weak performer invented.

[RPC]

Today's topic posted by Couch, "The World's Greatest Athlete?" by Reed Albergotti - Wall Street Journal

Couch seems super shocked as to why there's no mention of CF?!? How could they? According to couch:

we coached WSJ author Reed Albergotti through a lot of material and he left us out. We knew from some earlier contact and his responses that we were unduly taxing his faculties.

You see children, he tried to lead him to salvation, but alas the writer could not grasp it.

Subsequently Couch adds:

Would Larry Bird have been a better basketball player with CrossFit? Would two players of Bird's potential remain equal in basketball capacity if one CF'd and the other did not? The first answer is, "hell yes". The second, "hell no". No one who has worked with world class sport athletes in conjunction with CrossFit have any doubt whatsoever.

NOT ONE WORLD CLASS ATHLETE OF THOUSANDS WE'VE TRAINED HAS APPROACHED THE FITNESS LEVEL OF A GOOD CROSSFITTER. Not one.

So yes there you have it. Regardless if a CFitter is in the article's top ten, the top ten would have been better off with CF training. How ingenious!

Have no fear though kids the movement is still going strong:

There are legions of NFL, NBA, NHL, Olympic, MMA mega-champions CrossFitting.

Legions children, CF has now legions of followers. In closing our GWF assures us:

The winner of the CrossFit Games will be the world champion of the "Sport of Fitness" and will have reasonable, supportable, accurate, and precise claim to being a) one of the best athletes on earth, and b) the fittest man/woman/beast alive.

Mrs Couch needs to take the keyboard away immediately before he kills her cash cow. He seriously sounds mental in his writing...

[Crust Bucket]

Mrs Couch needs to take the keyboard away immediately before he kills her cash cow. He seriously sounds mental in his writing...

I wish she'd hit him in the head with it. The fuckers talking more foolish than usual.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

This, usos, is classical megalomania.

[Grandpa's Spells]

NOT ONE WORLD CLASS ATHLETE OF THOUSANDS WE'VE TRAINED HAS APPROACHED THE FITNESS LEVEL OF A GOOD CROSSFITTER. Not one.

The lack of deliberate irony rules. Any intelligent person would conclude that CrossFit's definition of fitness is either irrelevant or counterproductive for becoming an elite athlete.

[GoDogGo!]

This, usos, is classical megalomania.

Really, I doubt it. I think he's just figured out, during some relatively sober and lucid period, that this is the kind of hyperbolic BS that attracts those who need to feel like they are members of an elite cadre.

As with DD comrades or the Rmax Cadre, it keeps the buckage rolling in.

[Blaidd Drwg]

what is it about crossfit plus the zone that turns all the men into scrawny he/shes and yet produces this in the "wimmin"?....albeit lifelong gymnasts....





but seriously, vitamin S rumors aside, why are the men such leetle bitches by comparison?

[___________]

Looks like a late nite of gin & writing ramblings for the old Crossfit website for the couch.

[Trebuchet]

Much stronger and as attractive as the lass above. Not the least bit anabolic looking either. She can prolly knock off a HSPU or two , if not a dip on them ring thangs that are all the rage amongst the kids.

[RPC]

Looks like a late nite of gin & writing ramblings for the old Crossfit website for the couch.

Hilarious. Its like the motherfucker can't help himself.

The admonishing of Greg Everett in the last post yesterday was hilarious. Why would you even bother trying to post over there?

[dalexan242]

but seriously, vitamin S rumors aside, why are the men such leetle bitches by comparison?

Even lean and strong big guys have a lot of trouble doing workouts that include 50 pullups and/or 25 muscle-ups. Pretty much the same reason you don't find that many tall/big male gymnasts.

[dalexan242]

If Crossfit is so cool, how is it that they aren't all on Ninja Warrior showing them how it's done?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

There was at least one cat who tried out for one of those ultimate obstacle course shows from an affiliate in Hawaii.

[The Real Rant]

There are legions of NFL, NBA, NHL, Olympic, MMA mega-champions CrossFitting.

Legions? I think we'd be hard pressed to name one or two persons from each of the above categories. And MMA should not be in the mix.