The couch thread

[Danny John]

There will be some news soon...

[Kazuya Mishima]

Don't be a Tom Furman...give it up!!!

[Blaidd Drwg]

Don't be a Tom Furman...give it up!!!

No Shit...Shaggy, Shaf and DJ are all grounded for obliqueness.

[Danny John]

Sorry. It's a good story and the guy promised to go public. So, give me a few days???

[Blaidd Drwg]

Sorry. It's a good story and the guy promised to go public. So, give me a few days???

Arrrrrrrgh...k....

You've delivered before on this thread, so it's not like we can bitch about it too much.

[Danny John]

I bow and wave, bow and wave.
And...exit.

[Holland Oates]

Greatness.

[WildGorillaMan]

Dan you wear a little plaid skirt so I suppose it's only natural that you're a big fucking tease.

[Chessman]

http://blog.spartanrace.com/press-relea ... rtnership/
I thought the spam I was receiving said SpartanFit but I don't see the word here.

They are pimping Rebook Spartan WODs:

It goes by the name of SGX: Spartan Group X. http://spartancoaches.com/

[Jonny Canuck]

Does couch not know that the divorce was finalized months ago? He doesn't need to devalue the brand anymore!

[The Ginger Beard Man]

If you are thinking about becoming a Spartan Coach, think three times. It will be too difficult for 99% of trainers and coaches assuming you even meet our minimum requirements. It will be easier for you to get into Harvard Business School. Our two most important resources are time and energy. Reading applications and conducting certifications is a drain on both. At Spartan HQ we are too busy training, coaching athletes, and organizing jaw dropping races to be bothered with half-assed effort that waste our resources.

Must be disgruntled @Fitters who can't give up the kool aid.

[syaigh]

You should see the Spartan race training manual. They thought up new names for burpees and pullups so only the inner circle can interpret the WODs.

[Chessman]

http://blog.spartanrace.com/tales-from- ... -coaching/

Not just anyone can apply to be a Certified Spartan Coach, the mandates include training specific from one or the major organizations (ACSM, NSCA, NASM or ACE) or a four year degree in Exercise and Sports Science. Yes, this is a no joke certification. It was even asked for proof of this certification. All applicants were required to have five years working experience and a resume to back this up. We were each required to write two different essays the first of many more essays to come regarding our ideas on coaching and training.

To prove we weren’t just gym rats we were asked if we had completed in the last five years this short this: 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge, Marathon or longer, Century bike ride, or 50 mile mountain bike ride, 2 mile swim, Super Spartan or greater. Again here we needed to include proof of results from races. A major part was do you live by the Spartan Code which included a list of several aspects of life.

Finally, the most rewarding part of the application was the letters of recommendations, eight from former or current athletes and an additional five character letters of recommendation.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Lame.

[Turdacious]

http://blog.spartanrace.com/tales-from- ... -coaching/

To prove we weren’t just gym rats we were asked if we had completed in the last five years this short this: 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge, Marathon or longer, Century bike ride, or 50 mile mountain bike ride, 2 mile swim, Super Spartan or greater.

Brian MacKenzie weeps.

[Gary John]

Fuck, I had just read the latest and had Dan on the phone.

With a whole five minutes lapsed, I forgot to ask him what the big scoop was.

I'm guessing Glasshole finally came out of the closet.

[tzg]

8 letters of recommendation from former athletes and 5 character recommendations?! That's 10 more letters of recommendation than it takes to get into a Harvard PhD program. Or maybe 9. Still, that's a bit much.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

A classic couch...like when he attempted to character assassinate Mel Siff after Siff died.

David Tate: I take the "Fraud" comment as an insult. I have spent most of my life studying training theory and methodology and have spent thousands of hours of my life reading and researching everything and anything that deals with strength development including a degree in the field. I guess ALL those THOUSANDS of hours I have spent (as well as many others) as well as the THOUSANDS of hours training myself and others are all worthless and yielded zero education and experience and thus I'm a fraud. Would I still be the same "Fraud" if I had a crossfit certification? I work, live, and cater to a niche market made up of those who place training as one of their top 4 priorities and would not trade it for anything! It is statements like these that make me thankful for staying true to this market.

David Tate: Eric Lain - I do not feel I am even qualified to offer or teach a certification let alone debate anyone on strength and conditioning. Like yourself I am constantly studying and learning and the more I learn the more I discover how much I do not know. I respect all viewpoints and think you can learn something from just about everyone. However the Fraud comment crossed the line for me because there are MANY of us who have worked our asses off help others.

[Kenny X]

http://blog.spartanrace.com/tales-from- ... -coaching/

Not just anyone can apply to be a Certified Spartan Coach, the mandates include training specific from one or the major organizations (ACSM, NSCA, NASM or ACE) or a four year degree in Exercise and Sports Science. Yes, this is a no joke certification. It was even asked for proof of this certification. All applicants were required to have five years working experience and a resume to back this up. We were each required to write two different essays the first of many more essays to come regarding our ideas on coaching and training.

To prove we weren’t just gym rats we were asked if we had completed in the last five years this short this: 30 Day Bikram Yoga Challenge, Marathon or longer, Century bike ride, or 50 mile mountain bike ride, 2 mile swim, Super Spartan or greater. Again here we needed to include proof of results from races. A major part was do you live by the Spartan Code which included a list of several aspects of life.

Finally, the most rewarding part of the application was the letters of recommendations, eight from former or current athletes and an additional five character letters of recommendation.

I checked out that blog and the quotes in this thread about the coaching cert and though I do "get" not wanting to put out yet another bullshit certification out there (I really do get it), this whole thing just seems like an awful lot of faggotry to me. It seems like a bunch of normal people trying as hard as they can to conform to some weird ideal of "Super Elite Awesomeness" for lack of a better word.

Fuck me. Can't people just enjoy training and doing fun rewarding things for the fun of it, instead of trying so god damn hard to feel, and "be" "superior" to all the fat asses you see at WALMART?

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you.

[WildGorillaMan]

An ultra-runner I know refers to mud races and the ethos that has grown up around them as "pretend tough people doing pretend tough things."

[Holland Oates]

An ultra-runner I know refers to mud races and the ethos that has grown up around them as "pretend tough people doing pretend tough things."

You talking about negros?

[tough old man]

[quoteAn ultra-runner I know refers to mud races and the ethos that has grown up around them as "pretend tough people doing pretend tough things."][/quote]
Herman Seals by chance?

[WildGorillaMan]

Fuck, poor choice of words on this board. I meant all this Spartan nonsense.

And TOM, no. But they probably know each other.

[Kenny X]

An ultra-runner I know refers to mud races and the ethos that has grown up around them as "pretend tough people doing pretend tough things."

That's the impression I got.

Back in July I did the Run For Your Lives event, the muddy obstacle course where zombies interfere with the runners. Me and some friends from Celli's were zombies. Dude, some of the people that ran that course were straight-up "pretend tough" and "pretend intense" fucksticks.

It's like they stayed up all night watching a 300, Zombieland, Rocky movie marathon and then got all coked up and came out for the race. This chick on my team was a hundred ten pound Japanese babe. Fucking harmless. I legit saw one of the contestants elbow her in the face- a guy. It was pretty fucked up on that regard.

"Fitness Badasses" who pretend they're the cast from 300 are homos.

[Kenny X]

I dunno, fuck. Maybe it's because the guys I lift with are always busting my balls about one thing or another, or the fact that every single time I think I'm getting good at this Jiu Jitsu shit one of my team mates fuckin smashes me- but I seriously don't get how anybody could be anything other than humbled by the process of pushing their own limitations. Who knows, maybe it's because, at the end of the day, slogging through a mud pit, getting zapped with cattle prods, or just plain old waaaay-stupid-high-rep snatches with shitty form and baby weight till you puke and get handed a t-shirt just isn't really all that difficult or challenging at the end of the day. Not challenging enough to beatdown your ego. Or maybe it is, but the fact that everybody's there cheering you on like youre some kind of amazing "athlete," and telling you you're "elite" (compared to what?) builds that ego up worse.

What I dislike, is this self-perpetuating lie that this ilk has any gravitas whatsoever.