Moderator: Dux
Kenny X wrote: Appreciated. But let's be honest- Couch himself posited that if you were askeered of getting your neck broke doing muscle-ups, or dying of Teh Rhabdo, @Fit doesn't want you.
but it can be legally liable, can't it?E2>200 wrote:A corporation can't commit murder.
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.
Blaidd Drwg wrote:Kenny X wrote: Appreciated. But let's be honest- Couch himself posited that if you were askeered of getting your neck broke doing muscle-ups, or dying of Teh Rhabdo, @Fit doesn't want you.
Yes But....we all know that's only ever been a bit of reverse psychology and sheep manipulation. A real company with assets woudl never pull that shit.
A corporation can't commit murder.
And it's the affiliates fault, not HQ's
That's the thing. Glassman has an income stream and that is about it. Amazing set up. What could you get at if the corporation was pierced? HQ's real property?Blaidd Drwg wrote:Kenny X wrote: Appreciated. But let's be honest- Couch himself posited that if you were askeered of getting your neck broke doing muscle-ups, or dying of Teh Rhabdo, @Fit doesn't want you.
Yes But....we all know that's only ever been a bit of reverse psychology and sheep manipulation. A real company with assets woudl never pull that shit.
He's also a fatty.Blaidd Drwg wrote:Glassman deserves nothing but credit for being ruthless in his business practices.
He's not wrong...he's just an asshole.
But rich and has been knee deep in primo pussy for decades.Kenny X wrote:He's also a fatty.Blaidd Drwg wrote:Glassman deserves nothing but credit for being ruthless in his business practices.
He's not wrong...he's just an asshole.
Tell the softball coaches straight up that this is incredibly irresponsible, cf is known to be low on science and high on injuries, and no self respecting s&C coach would ever subject serious athletes to this. Its like hiring your local tattoo artist to give medical care to your children. Someone's got to call them on this bullshit. Its malpractice at best.Kazuya Mishima wrote:So, I am having my first real up-close and personal encounter with the severe retardation that is Crossfit. One would think I could somehow manage my life in such a way that I could stay away from this idiocy, but the cruel hand of fate has other plans. My two girls (going into the 8th and 9th grade, respectively) are pretty serious softball players for both their school district team as well as travel league stuff. Where fate comes into play is that the coaches for their school team have absolutely no clue about S&C for softball, or sports in general from what I can tell. All girls are required to go through a summer S&C program (which I have to pay for, BTW), and who do you think they have farmed this program out to? Yes, one of the local Xfit boxes.
Four days a week of some of the dumbest shit I have ever heard of. Keep in mind it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that softball is not an endurance sport. The gold standard in softball is being able to knock the ball with a fuck ton of weight, haul your ass from home plate to first base in under 3 seconds, and maybe haul ass 25 yards in the outfield to catch a pop fly in the gap. I tell my wife all the time that the most fatiguing thing in softball is trotting around the bases after you drove one over the fence, and second to that is just the slow drain of sitting in the 100 degree heat all fucking day. Skill is supreme and will set apart the winners and losers, but having (or developing) specific athletic traits will definitely make the difference between who sits on the bench and who starts between two equally schooled players. So, I conceded to this idiocy with the philosophy that weak ass girls will get stronger from doing practically anything (maybe…more on that), and the fact that bucking the coach or trying to educate him about the dangers and ineffectiveness of Crossfit will be career suicide for two girls that like their team and want to play (he doesn’t like advice from parents one bit).
This thing started up as soon as school let out, and of course I’m grilling my girls daily to see what they are doing in their workouts (primarily out of concern for their safety). It’s the same dumb shit that you would expect from somebody that has a Level 1 cert, and gets their programming from watching the Crossfit Gaymes. Keep in mind you have girls coming out of the 6th grade who just made the team all the way up to seniors who have signed commitment letters to play in college. Widely different ages and ability levels, widely different strength and mobility ranges, widely different maturity and hormonal profiles, widely different body types and general fitness levels, and widely different requirements depending on where they play on the field (I wouldn’t train a rabbit slap bunter who plays defense in the outfield the same way I train the stocky catcher who bats clean up…but what the fuck do I know). So, of course everyone is going through the same Copy Pasta workout because this is CROSSFIT and we are affiliated with REEBOK and Greg Glassman is a GENUIS, oh dontcha know.
Right off the bat in the first week, genius boy tests every girl on four major lifts…overhead press, deadlift, back squat, and front squat. Literally, he is taking a group of girls, many of whom have never touched a barbell in their life, and is having them work up to 1 rep maxes on these lifts in a group setting with no one-on-one coaching or supervision. Basically, this is how you do it, now go to your station with the other clueless teenage giggly girls that you’ve been teamed up with and go figure out your 1 rep max. Nothing could go wrong. Then Xfit Level 1.03 Couch Louie Rippetoe informs them, “ok, we’re going to do these same max lifts at the end of the summer, and see how much stronger you’ve gotten”. Well, of course they’re “going to get stronger” genius…you took a baseline 5 minutes after they’d seen the lift for the first time in their life, and they’re going to get stronger over the summer from nothing else but practicing the lift. So, I’m sure this data will be rolled out to the softball coaches at the end of summer to vouch for the efficacy of the program. Oh look, your players got 19% stronger on the front squat…that is MONSTER, bruh…better buy some more game balls cuz them shits is gettin’ knocked over DA FENCE. SHEEEEEIIT.
All of this daily testing is then followed up with some of the shittiest circuit style training that would make main page WOD programming seem logical and reasonable. One day he had them doing something like 5 barbell front squats, 5 burpees, and a 200 yard run all repeated for 20 minutes. Dumbassness…fucking dumbassness. All of the usual retarded suspects are there from an exercise selection standpoint…wrong style American swings with the kettlebell, barbell thrusters, girls who can’t do a single strict pull-up fucking around on gymnastic rings…it’s a total cunt fest. My wife was also showing me a promo video of some sort. I’m not sure if this was on Facebook or on the district website, but I guess they put it up to show all the parents THIS FUCKING AWESOME TRAINING OUR GIRLS ARE GETTING. In the video I saw what looked like every girl on the team jammed into a 20x20 area doing every possible kind of Crossfit fuckery that you could imagine because FUCK SAFETY. My favorite part was my youngest daughter doing cleans and push presses (probably the third time she’d touched a barbell in her life) with girls on either side of her doing burpees and body weight squats. Glad you didn’t lose control of the bar, babe. Great job. MOAR LIKE TOTAL AND KOMPLEET FUCKERY.
No worries, right? The girls will get six pack abs and traps, and no horny little freshman will go near them. I can deal with the rest…deep breathes…it will be ok. Well, we go to a travel tournament down in Gulfport for my oldest daughter’s team this past weekend. Traveling down on Friday evening, we pull into ‘Jolly’s Quick Mart and House of Nigger Cigarettes’ somewhere south of Hattiesburg for a piss break. As I’m walking in, my daughter calls out from behind me and starts whining about how she can’t lift her right arm above her shoulder and how the muscle on the back of her arm (she doesn’t know what a tricep is, and thinking of the body in isolation is VERBOTTEN in Crassfit) feels like it’s going to rip apart if she does. I give my wife a sour look to say WHY WASN’T I TOLD ABOUT THIS FUCKING SHIT UNTIL NOW, and I tell my daughter “well, baby it’s gotta be the Crossfit…don’t worry you’ll be like the Bionic Woman after the surgery”. Next morning I’m out on the field rubbing her arm down with Icy Hot like it’s 1987, and just praying for the best. She makes it through the tourney…played like a beast actually, but I’m now in a pinch because I have to come forward and basically tell these people “hey, week one and you hurt my daughter…WEEK…ONE…as if week 32 or week 157 would be acceptable…CUZ IT AIN’T.”
I haven’t punched a man in the face or throttled his neck until he turned purple since 2010, and that was done in an MMA context with no real malice involved. This fuckery may break that streak, and staying out of Sheriff Bailey’s jail may prove challenging.
I hate Crossfit. I hope Greg Glassman, every Level 1 coach, and everybody who wears Reebok dies of AIDS. And I mean that.
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.
Kazuya Mishima wrote:Well, the blocky girl thing is kind of a stereotype. Pitchers, and first basemen tend to fit that bill. Catchers tend toward stocky, but it's hard to be fat when you're up and down so much. Outfield, short, and third they get pretty lithe or they won't survive. My girls tend toward more athletic build, and they seem to like guys so there's no hope for them beyond high school.
If it were me it would be a lot of glute ham work, push/pull the sled, med ball throws/slams, and some general strength upper body work. In and out the door in 45 minutes, three days a week, never overdo it on any one thing, with an eye toward individual needs...try to get the weak ones stronger, and try to get the strong ones faster.
No, and they don't need it unless they are especially weak in that area. If you put in the time in the batting cage, you get pretty stout in the hands and wrists.bennyonesix wrote:Are they doing hardcore hand, wrist and forearm work?
It's a magnet for lesbians. I don't know why.Kenny X wrote:Kazuya Mishima wrote:Well, the blocky girl thing is kind of a stereotype. Pitchers, and first basemen tend to fit that bill. Catchers tend toward stocky, but it's hard to be fat when you're up and down so much. Outfield, short, and third they get pretty lithe or they won't survive. My girls tend toward more athletic build, and they seem to like guys so there's no hope for them beyond high school.
If it were me it would be a lot of glute ham work, push/pull the sled, med ball throws/slams, and some general strength upper body work. In and out the door in 45 minutes, three days a week, never overdo it on any one thing, with an eye toward individual needs...try to get the weak ones stronger, and try to get the strong ones faster.
Is it just me, or has anybody else noticed that female softballers tend toward Sapphism once they're playing at the collegiate level? Back me up, here...
Gotta disagree with you there.Kazuya Mishima wrote:No, and they don't need it unless they are especially weak in that area. If you put in the time in the batting cage, you get pretty stout in the hands and wrists.bennyonesix wrote:Are they doing hardcore hand, wrist and forearm work?
THEY HAVE BLOCKY HANDS AND WRISTS LIKE RUSSIAN MILK MAIDbennyonesix wrote:Gotta disagree with you there.Kazuya Mishima wrote:No, and they don't need it unless they are especially weak in that area. If you put in the time in the batting cage, you get pretty stout in the hands and wrists.bennyonesix wrote:Are they doing hardcore hand, wrist and forearm work?
And that would be a sound program. See how the retardation and arrogance of stupid little cf coaches (and quite frankly punkass ex phys interns) can make those of us with brains and a sense of responsibility completely blind with rage?Kazuya Mishima wrote:
If it were me it would be a lot of glute ham work, push/pull the sled, med ball throws/slams, and some general strength upper body work. In and out the door in 45 minutes, three days a week, never overdo it on any one thing, with an eye toward individual needs...try to get the weak ones stronger, and try to get the strong ones faster.
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.
Bryce HarperKazuya Mishima wrote:THEY HAVE BLOCKY HANDS AND WRISTS LIKE RUSSIAN MILK MAIDbennyonesix wrote:Gotta disagree with you there.Kazuya Mishima wrote:No, and they don't need it unless they are especially weak in that area. If you put in the time in the batting cage, you get pretty stout in the hands and wrists.bennyonesix wrote:Are they doing hardcore hand, wrist and forearm work?
