The couch thread

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:50 pm

All kegs have bungs, trust me, I know.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:37 pm

WOD:

Your day in the barrel. For time.

Post loads recieved in the comments section.

Danny John · Post by **Danny John** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 4:58 pm

Our school went 14-0 and won the state football championship. I wonder if they would want our strength coach as an instructor?

Thud · Post by **Thud** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:07 pm

Danny John wrote:Our school went 14-0 and won the state football championship. I wonder if they would want our strength coach as an instructor?

Only if he's willing to suck Couch's dick all over the internet.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:23 pm

Danny John wrote:Our school went 14-0 and won the state football championship. I wonder if they would want our strength coach as an instructor?

If your kids had done CrossFit, they would have gone 16-0.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:35 pm

Gin Master wrote:If your kids had done CrossFit, they would have gone 16-0.

Totally wrong.

Every sports team using CF would have had a .500 record, that's what they're shooting for--mediocrity across broad time and modal domains. They don't want to be the best at anything, kapiche?

From the now-obsolete manifesto, 'cuz it gets in the way of the $$-makin':

Our specialty is not specializing. Combat, survival, many sports, and life
reward this kind of fitness and, on average, punish the specialist.

So they make a specialized version of the program to train athletes in a specific sport that has many specialized positions. Maybe the idea is like multiplying two negatives to get a positive?

Shaun B. O'Murnecan · Post by **Shaun B. O'Murnecan** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:43 pm

Cincinnasty Crossfit:

I gotta move.

Shaun B. O'Murnecan · Post by **Shaun B. O'Murnecan** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:45 pm

BTW, the cost for those results above:

CLASS COST:

You have several options:

1. Monthly Bronze Membership
3 workouts a week, 12 total workouts a month

Our monthly bronze membership is only $180

2. Monthly Silver Membership
4 workouts a week, 16 total workouts a month

Our monthly silver membership is only $220

3. Monthly Gold Membership
5 workouts a week, 20 total workouts a month

Our monthly gold membership is only $260

4. Monthly Part-time Membership
6 total workouts to be used in a month
A great option if you travel or have an unpredictable schedule
Our part time membership is only $110

5. One-Time Drop In
$20

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:54 pm

lol that affiliate never fails to dissapoint.

little cooch there always more focussed on video production and soundtrack as opposed to workout quality/injury prevention.

LOL the syncro-air squats to meatloaf, fricken awesome.

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:22 pm

Our specialty is not specializing. Combat, survival, many sports, and life
reward this kind of fitness and, on average, punish the specialist.

This is one of the most laughable things they say.

Combat does not reward you if you divide your time practicing 30 different MOS.
Sports never reward generalists.
"Life" is too general. They used to say "nature rewards generalists and punishes specialists." That made perfect sense, and is why you see crocodiles grazing and using photosynthesis instead of just specializing in being riverine ambush predators.

seeahill · Post by **seeahill** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:26 pm

Gin Master wrote:I like how Garrett said he wasn't going out like Josh Hillis (the poor bastard).

Since Josh Hillis is my absolute fav celebrity fitness guru, I'd love to know how he went out.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:23 pm

The re-cap was just a few pages back...but it looks like he is still going strong, even without the support of cooch:

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:59 pm

He's got a bit a of "Stevie from Eastbound and Down" vibe going on.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:06 pm

FAUX HAWK!

HAHAHAHAHAH. Just when I though Josh couldn't reach a new low.

LLLLOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!!!

___________ · Post by **___________** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 11:17 pm

I don't know which is gayer:
Hillis or the superduper retarded workout?

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:24 am

MarcoFP wrote:I don't know which is gayer:
Hillis or the superduper retarded workout?

The only thing gayer is eight guys blowing nine guys.

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:39 am

Ok I was only able to watch 30 seconds of that trash.....

___________ · Post by **___________** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 12:57 am

*****

POD · Post by **POD** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:35 am

Crust Bucket wrote:Ok I was only able to watch 30 seconds of that trash.....

So, if this is how they do assisted pull-ups, is that how Crossfitters do assisted jump squats?

Holy Cow · Post by **Holy Cow** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:44 am

Grandpa's Spells wrote:He's got a bit a of "Stevie from Eastbound and Down" vibe going on.

$\:D/$

___________ · Post by **___________** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 2:56 am

Why the fuck is Hillis a pudgy weak little bitch if he has all the true ways of the Super RKC II & Crossfit power?

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:18 am

MarcoFP wrote:Why the fuck is Hillis a pudgy weak little bitch if he has all the true ways of the Super RKC II & Crossfit power?

Because Cultfit makes the men more like women and the women more like men.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 3:28 am

Crust Bucket wrote:Ok I was only able to watch 30 seconds of that trash.....

There needs to be a whole lot more of that going on at CFHQ.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 4:37 am

Josh is working on some shit that it just too dangerous for the general public to know about. It's so effective that you get all of the strength and health benefits without the typical appearance of same. In fact some are encouraged to even put on a few stubborn pounds and wear clothes that are a few sizes too big to futher enhance the deception. Don't mention anything about the hairstyle, at least to his face. He cannot be held responsible for what might happen to you.

Tuesday · Post by **Tuesday** » Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:27 am

Jake Patrick wrote:
Grandpa's Spells wrote:He's got a bit a of "Stevie from Eastbound and Down" vibe going on.

$\:D/$

No, dude, he's clearly Crotch's bastard son. Check out the eyes, nose, ears, chin, and especially that stupid grin.

IGX

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