The couch thread

[Shafpocalypse Now]

His admission that he's a drunk who can't handle his liquor really clears the air.

[Kraj]

You need to work on your shtick it's getting kind of old and tired.

You mean the armchair-tough-guy-who-hasn't-accomplished-anything-worthwhile-in-life-so-he-preaches-to-others-out-of-secret-self-hate shtick? Yeah, it is kind of played out by now.

[POD]

You mean the armchair-tough-guy-who-hasn't-accomplished-anything-worthwhile-in-life-so-he-preaches-to-others-out-of-secret-self-hate shtick? Yeah, it is kind of played out by now.

I love your blog, by the way.

[Kraj]

You mean the armchair-tough-guy-who-hasn't-accomplished-anything-worthwhile-in-life-so-he-preaches-to-others-out-of-secret-self-hate shtick? Yeah, it is kind of played out by now.

I love your blog, by the way.

Thanks. I'm going to be kicking it up a notch and taking it to the next level.

[POD]

You mean the armchair-tough-guy-who-hasn't-accomplished-anything-worthwhile-in-life-so-he-preaches-to-others-out-of-secret-self-hate shtick? Yeah, it is kind of played out by now.

I love your blog, by the way.

Thanks. I'm going to be kicking it up a notch and taking it to the next level.

I think you missed the joke.

(I do enjoy the reads, but I said it there for a particular reason.)

[Kraj]

I think you missed the joke.

(I do enjoy the reads, but I said it there for a particular reason.)

You're trying to imply that I'm said armchair tough guy. Not so. My blog is meant to build people up, not tear them down. You'll never find me bitching or whining about something. My goal is simple: to help you (the reader) succeed.

[Fat Cat]

I think couch is all right.

[Mountebank]

Who's the dark haired douche talking in that vid?

Andy Stumpf of @F Coronado.

Much like Couch and the other HQ hucksters, his bio mentions nothing about actual training education or credentials. Surprised?

From one of the higher-ups in the NSCA:
http://bobscrossfitblog.blogspot.com/20 ... ssfit.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

-----Original Message-----
From: Mark Stephenson [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 5:49 AM
To: Conway, Patrick T Civ USAF AMC 62 MDS/SGPZ; Jay Dawes
Subject: RE: Cross Fit

Patrick,

You are right on with crossfit. We have our reservations from both a scientific and functional point of view. As far as the military goes, the Marine Corps is going away from it and so is the Navy. The Navy has a lawsuit against them right now. As far as SF, USSOCOM is going away from it and most of my traveling is to SF Groups around the country. CAG and DEVGRU do not use crossfit. Crossfit advertises that most of these communities use this method but the truth is they are starting to pull away because of the high injury rate. When it comes to SWAT, I am on the fitness committee for the National Tactical Officers Association (NTOA) and they do not endorse Crossfit. There will be some articles coming out this year warning SWAT not to get caught up in the Crossfit cult.

I will Keep you in the loop on where all this is going. Thanks for your comments.

Mark D. Stephenson, MS, CSCS,*D, ATC
Tactical Strength and Conditioning
Human Performance Center Director
National Strength and Conditioning Association
1885 Bob Johnson Drive
Colorado Springs, CO 80906
Phone: 719-632-6722 ext. 121 Fax: 719-632-6367
email: [email protected]
website: http://www.nsca-lift.org" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; http://www.nsca-lift.org/tsac" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Note that couch threatens a lawsuit in his reply, SOP for him, posted on that linked page. There may be some bits there that others would like to dissect...

[Gin Master]

His admission that he's a drunk who can't handle his liquor really clears the air.

You need to work on your shtick it's getting kind of old and tired.

You mean the armchair-tough-guy-who-hasn't-accomplished-anything-worthwhile-in-life-so-he-preaches-to-others-out-of-secret-self-hate shtick? Yeah, it is kind of played out by now.

Couch or Rant? I can't keep up.

[DrDonkeyLove]

I don't know about all these fitness associations w/their "science" and which is most tactical. I do, however, know what's important and the Dirt Diva is working through a challenging grooming issue.

Today Julia gave me a Brazilian wax..It's more painful than a tattoo and more painful than going the dentist. She gets mad because I shave and if I only left it alone and waxed every 4 weeks it would be less painful and there would be less hair. So she says ;)

I suggest lasering it all off and tattooing some flames or a kokopelli or something.

[Gin Master]

I nearly just vomited a half dozen eggs and a crapload of bacon.

Anonymous Jim said...

Okay, this makes me a bad person for saying this but I really like reading about the Brazillian.

Hop Sing has violated a couch cushion at least 10 times over this post.

[TerryB]

Note that couch threatens a lawsuit in his reply, SOP for him, posted on that linked page. There may be some bits there that others would like to dissect...

The US Military has long been and continues to be our largest client.

Well that explains why Couch uses dead soldiers and phony sentiment. It directly targets the emotions of his biggest client.

[Gary John]

Note to Glasshole:

Stop being such a total asshole.



Wish I could do haiku worth a fuck.

[Turdacious]

So much for the Rhabdo badge becoming more coveted than the EIB.

[Mountebank]

The US Military has long been and continues to be our largest client.

Well that explains why Couch uses dead soldiers and phony sentiment. It directly targets the emotions of his biggest client.

I would have to think that the military is @F's biggest client is fabricated, only to keep the masses believing in the program.

$2000 per affiliate per year, at 1000+ affiliates? Does anyone actually believe @FHQ is pulling in $2mil+ contracts for prescribing PT? If they were, would anyone be doubting them? That's not even including the 31 flavors of weekend certs! There's an all too familiar stench here.

[Grandpa's Spells]

$2000 per affiliate per year, at 1000+ affiliates? Does anyone actually believe @FHQ is pulling in $2mil+ contracts for prescribing PT? If they were, would anyone be doubting them? That's not even including the 31 flavors of weekend certs! There's an all too familiar stench here.

Are you saying that the military has to pay more than all the affiliates combined in order to be their biggest client?

[Mountebank]

$2000 per affiliate per year, at 1000+ affiliates? Does anyone actually believe @FHQ is pulling in $2mil+ contracts for prescribing PT? If they were, would anyone be doubting them? That's not even including the 31 flavors of weekend certs! There's an all too familiar stench here.

Are you saying that the military has to pay more than all the affiliates combined in order to be their biggest client?

That may have been my mistake, but is combining affiliates any more of a stretch than saying "the military"?

[T200]

Quality training:

A very painful introduction
Hi Everyone-

Let me start with a preemptive: I know.

I know I should have done more research on CrossFit, gradually learned the movements, evaluated my current fitness level etc before jumping right in... hindsight is 20/20.

I was interested in learning more about CrossFit and getting sick of looking at the Web site (I have to do this all day for work, it's the last thing I think of when I think of taking care of myself!). So- I called up the local affiliate, told them as much and got a "come on down, try it out". So I did. The instructor introduced herself to me, showed us a bunch of scribbling on a white board, had me to some stretches with a pole and then start a WOD. The only instruction that I received was "go as hard as you can, as fast as you can. Ready? Go!" (or, at least that's how I heard it).

So I did.

Sweet baby Jesus. My lower body feels like I got a good work out, but my upper body feels like I dislocated every bone above my waist. (I should mention that the only exercise I've been doing lately is cycling, so I thought this would be a good way to improve my overall fitness).

I feel like I need a nurse to come help me with my normal activities of daily living (washing my hair, putting on a shirt, brushing my teeth etc- lifting my arms never seemed like a difficult task before...) I'm trying to be good humored about this, and take it as a sign that I shouldn't have neglected weight training for so long, but I'm actually quite mad at myself for over-doing it to this extent. It really snuck up on me like a bad sunburn. Another major frustration is that I'm training for a 200+mile bike ride this summer and this has kept me off my bike for some seriously nice weather cycling days!


So- I'm wondering if anyone has any practical advice on what I can do now alleviate this pain- I don't expect it to go away completely, but it would be nice to at least be able to make dinner! Bathtub full of ice? Heat?? Both? My 800mg Motrin regimen seems to be doing nothing.


Also- wondering if this is the normal way to start people out at CrossFit? I feel like I was hazed!

[Anon]

Just another example of the benefits of joining the CROSSFIT RRG, this trainer/affiliate will need all of the support that the crossfit commune-ity can muster.

[TerryB]

Also- wondering if this is the normal way to start people out at CrossFit?

No. Normally they puke. You failed. Try harder next time, pussy. You cannot forge elite fitness without sacrifice. You either want it or you don't. The science is strong, and perfect.

[POD]

I found this video, and I know there's a good PVC joke that could be made with it, but I can't come up with anything. Maybe one of you more experienced guys would have better luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id_bqsdwwcE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Anon]

I found this video, and I know there's a good PVC joke that could be made with it, but I can't come up with anything. Maybe one of you more experienced guys would have better luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id_bqsdwwcE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

That kid should not be playing around with his dad's equipment.

How was that, it was tough, we don't usually pick on little children here, yourself excluded.

[Gin Master]

I found this video, and I know there's a good PVC joke that could be made with it, but I can't come up with anything. Maybe one of you more experienced guys would have better luck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id_bqsdwwcE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

That kid should not be playing around with his dad's equipment.

How was that, it was tough, we don't usually pick on little children here, yourself excluded.

He probably has the vomiting part down.

[Anon]

Patty,

You just don't fucking listen. When you want to hate, but it's just feeling a bit too early, like you waited and waited, but your still not FUCKING PISSED enough to post something good, do the following:

A. Enter the following URL in the browser:
http://crossfitcincinnati.typepad.com/

B. Scroll down and examine the content.

C. Posting something like this:



D. Add an approriate Smilie, thusly:

or and maybe a

E. Then add a bit of dry humor.

"Does anyone see anything wrong in this video?"
or
"Check out the future Crossfit RRG beneficiaries!"

F. Sit back and revel in the hate you generate.

Note: Part of me hates hating on these people, I applaud their dedication, but not their selection of "coaches".

[Gin Master]

How about some @Fit flair?

http://crossfitstickers.com/index.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;